Disclaimer:Naruto isn't mine
Being a dad means rubbing her belly with cocoa butter at night. (Depending on how nauseous she is, this may or may not lead anywhere.)
Neji had read in one of the baby books that got passed around that cocoa butter was soothing and helpful to the baby. He decided that his baby needed to be born into a stress-free world and asked Gaara to rub some newly-bought cocoa butter on his stomach.
Gaara(and Shukaku) were delighted to help. After all, Neji had a weakness for chocolate syrup all over him and shouldn't cocoa butter have the same or better effect? It was the world's sexiest science experiment.
Gaara had set the mood right. The lights were love and very, very softly you could here some sappy love/sex song playing in the background. Neji walked in and watched with a critical eye. "Don't even think about it. Just rub the cocoa butter and if you don't try anything too Kankuro like, I might reward you."
It took every ounce of dignity Gaara had left his body not to bounce with glee. Shukaku had to be the fucking weirdest demon to ever be sealed inside a person. "Don't worry about it." Neji laid down and Gaara began to spread the cocoa butter on his stomach.
"That feels really good." Neji said.
"Yeah."
"Yeah." Gaara leaned in closer to give Neji a kiss.
Neji put his hand right in front of Gaara's face, almost smashing his nose. "Don't even think about. I just hurled three night's worth of dinner."