30 CHAPPIES! FINALLY HIT THIRTY! SORRY ABOUT THAT TAKING SO LONG. MY SISTER WOULDN'T GET OFF THE COMPUTER AND I'VE RECENTLY BECOME OBSESED WITH THE SLENDER MAN :) (Don't know what it is, google it) AND THIS STORY ISN'T DONE YET! BTW, WHO WANTS ME TO END THIS WITH A 'FUTURE LIFE' EPILOG? (I END WITH A LOOK INTO THE FUTURE)

Ch.30: Diversionary Dinosaurs…WTH?

The sun was high over our heads (luckily, considering the random time here,) as I planted my foot to the ground, completing yet another step. Very difficult actually, considering it felt like I hadn't slept in two months and my leg felt like led. I sighed, "How far is it now?" "It's been five minutes since you last asked, so shut the hell up b****!" White sighed, "We're almost there C.J. Would you like to take a rest?" I shook my head and picked up my pace, "Hell no. We've got to get back as soon as possible!" This is no time to go wimpy!

"C.J, take it easy! You've had a very taxing day, so don't overwork yourself!" I huffed, "I'm not going to faint or anything, ok. …Though I might collapse on my bed."

I turned my head back to look at him, "…Hey, you did promise to tell me why the others don't like you two." White smiled as though he had no idea what I was talking about, "Did I?" "Yeah, you did. Cough it up clown boy." He sighed and looked to the side, avoiding me gaze, "You won't like what you hear. You may even come to hate us, like the others do." "If I had a quarter for every time I heard a line like that in the interrogation room, I would be sipping coco with a little umbrella on top of my private mountain." "…What?" I shook my head, "Never mind, just start spilling it." Black sighed, "I am NOT going to be around for this." The mask made a clicking noise and was silent. I blinked at it, "Umm…did he just…hang up?" White half-smiled, "In a way, yes. He broke the connection."

I didn't know they could do that. "Oh, ok. Now then, you were saying?" Whites smile vanished, replaced by a strange, unreadable expression that I'd never seen on him before. "If you're absolutely sure you want to hear it." I nodded, "Bring it on." He sighed, "Well, first, you must understand our roles."

"We are the Jokers, one whom keeps the prison, and one who runs the circus. The part you don't already know is that we are the VILLAINS of this story." I raised an eyebrow, "Villains? You two?" He nodded, "Yes, the villains. Every story needs one, and I'm afraid Blood just doesn't cut it. It's not only our job to catch prisoners, but also to torment innocents and be…well…villainess. And when you've been doing the same job for your whole life, you begin to…enjoy it." I let this process for a moment, then opened my mouth, "Oooooooohhhhhhhhh, so THAT'S why you're called sadist!"

"And it's about time he got his due." From the bushes around us and the tree branches above us, a big gang of faceless leapt! I pointed, "Wow, ninjas!" One of the faceless ticked, "We are not ninjas! We are villagers who want to bring THAT b****** to justice!" The group fanned out in a ring around us, about 12 of eyeless gazes locked onto us, their weapons drawn, locked, and/or loaded. White put a hand on my shoulder and mumbled so they couldn't hear, "Be ready to run, and don't stop for anything." I glared at him, "I am NOT leaving you!" His lone eye widened a little, and then narrowed, "Then do you have any suggestions?" Let's see, we're greatly outnumbered so fighting isn't an option...now's a good time to run the h*** away! , I thought for a moment, flipping through my mental book of get away tactics. Hmmmm…nah, they wouldn't fall for those. Number 9? Hmmm…probably not. Oh, number 15! I've always wanted to try out this one! My eyes flitted from one of them to the other, finding no opening for tactic 15. The men had started bickering over who got to draw Whites blood first. "Step aside, he's mine." A new faceless man, this one covered in tattoos all over his burly arms and bull neck, shoved one of the men aside to stand right in front of us. Yeash, with all those tats, this guy didn't need a face to be memorable. He cracked his huge knuckles, "Should I use my gun, or my knife?" …Perfect.

I turned off all other emotions and let but a select few show on my face. Pure astonishment, slight horror, and shock twisted my mouth open and widened my eyes. Then, I began to sing.

Standing completely straight, "HOLLY FREAKING S***, IT'S A DINOSAUR! HOLLY CHEESE, WHAT THE F***K?" All eyes turned to me, and stayed there. Including Whites. His eye was huge as he witnessed what he must have though was me mentally breaking down.

Instead of stopping, I turned around, a panicked expression still on my face, and clenched my fists and slowly bent my arms like those girls in movies who just 'can't believe something'. "OH MY FREAKING ODD," I turned quickly and pointed at the tattoo guy, "F****** DINOSAURS! HOLLY S***," I then sank down to my knees and put my hands on my head, "WHAT THE FU**************K?"

I let this craziness sink in for a moment, then jumped up and pointed behind the tattoo guy; the way we needed to go. "OH! A squirrel!" I then proceeded to yip like a Chihuahua. I ran up to tattoo and hugged him tight around his large torso, "Bye-bye, dino guy!" Then I grabbed Whites wrist and tugged him past the horridly confused tat dude, yipping like a small dog again and waving my free hand about. The ring melted around us, letting us through as they all continued to stare at me. As White went past the tat guy, he pointed at me and looked at the tat guy, "Um…bark?"

I continued to bark, wave, and yank White for about eight meters, then dropped his arm and started peeling it. "CHEESE IT, CLOWN BOY!" White stumbled a bit, then caught up, his long legs easily keeping up with my fast pace. We continued running along the path, leaving the would be killers in the dust behind us. At some point, I got tired and realized they hadn't chased us. I stopped in my tracks and leaned heavily on a tree on the side of the road, huffing as I tried to catch my breath. White sat down on a boulder next to the tree and breathed deep.

We sat in complete silence for a moment, and then, "WHAT THE F*** WAS THAT?" I jumped at Blacks mask voice. "Gezz! When did you tune back in?" "White reconnected us when you got surrounded! What the f*** was that?" I looked at White and grinned widely, "Diversionary tactic 15: Insanium in the Cranium!"

White looked down at the mask for a second, then back at me, and both of them burst out in hysterics! Whites laugh was very deep and rich, and much…realer than the other times I'd heard him laugh. Black however, was just annoying. "BBBHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH! H-HOLLY CHEESE? HAHAHAHAHAHA!" I twitched, my face flushing bright crimson, "Would you turn him off!" White continued to laugh, as though he hadn't heard me, but the masks high, robotic laughter cut short, leaving a bright red me and the laughing clown truly alone. His laughter didn't subside as I crossed my arms and huffed, "Hey, it worked, didn't it? Quit laughing at me!" He managed to break through his laughter to answer me, "Hahaha…I'm not…hahah- laughing at you! Hahahaha! It's just that- Haaahahhha-just that-" I stamped my foot, "Just that what?" He put his hand on his mouth and smothered the laughter until he could talk again. Then he looked up at me, his dark wine red eye staring straight into mine, "It's just so rare to see you act so childish and cute, C.J."

I was truly stunned for a moment, then raised my hands and shook my beet red head in frenzied denial, "C-cute? Na-uh! Not at all! Not me!" White kept chuckling, "No need to be shy about it. I rather like it." S***. He paused for a moment, and his smile disappeared, "Why didn't you just do as I said and ran? I could have handled it." I huffed, "Yeah, and gotten you're a** buried while you're at it. I don't leave my friends behind. EVER." He just stared at me for a moment, "…Friends? Me?" I glared down at him, "Yeah, you're my friend. Ever had one before?" He tightened his hands into fists, "I'm the Joker. I'm not supposed to have friends. I'm the most hated man in Wonderland." "So?"

He blinked at me, "You mean…you don't…mind? You're not sickened, or repulsed, or disgusted by it?" I shrugged, "Hey, I chase down crooks, conk them on the head, and throw them in the slammer for a living. And I LOVE it. Especially when I get to legally pound the crap out of them. I've been called a sadist on more than a few occasions. …Besides," I looked back at him and grinned, "like you said, all stories need a villain," I held out my hand to him, "but the time, I don't think you're the bad guy of this story."

He once more just stared at me, then got up himself, "If I'm not the villain, then what am I?" He stood to his full height, towering over me. I grinned nervously up at him, suddenly feeling uncomfortable, "Not a clue, but we'll never know if we don't get back the d*** tower!" With that, I peeled away, down the path toward the tower, trying to calm my panicky heart down. D*** it! Slow down heart! What the h*** is wrong with me?

RATHER SHORT AGAIN, BUT AT LEAST I UPDATED! AND MORE …AND C.J'S CHILDISH SIDE SHOWING THROUGH AGAIN. ANYWAYS, COMMENT, REVIEW, AND I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS CRAPPY CHAPTER! *THE SONG WAS EDITED TO AVOID INSULTING THOSE OF GODS FAITH. (WE HAVE VARING RELIGIOUS VIEW POINTS IN THE HOUSE, SO I TRY NOT TO USE THE LORDS NAME IN VAINE)*