5 days later:

Scully was not paying much attention to where she was walking as she looked down into the abyss of the dark and warm liquid in her hands. As she breathed in, she was overcome with the refreshing scent of freshly made coffee. It was not as good as what she had back at her own apartment, but she was slowly growing used to this and it would do good now anyway. She knew in her mind that it would not take away the dark circles forming under her eyes, but what did it matter?

At the entrances of her destination, she saw Mulder leaning against a doorframe.

"Well, you look like crap." He said with a small sympathetic smile.

"Thanks." She said with raised eyebrows, looking self-consciously back to the coffee in her hands. She didn't have any energy left to handle Mulder's humor. Luckily for her, Mulder already sensed that.

"So how are you feeling? They say you're becoming a regular around here, might as well soon get a bed and room of your own at this place." He looked around the hallway at the few passing people.

"I feel like crap to be honest." An ironic smile grazed her lips for less than a second. "I can't stop blaming myself." She then said, looking down. There were a few stubborn tears gathering in the corner of her eyes as a tired sense of anger began to rise once more. "If I had only been there. I should have been there, I should have known. I should have listened to what you were saying about them."

"Don't talk like that Scully." He stopped her before she could continue. "You did what was the right thing to do. Hell, I probably would have done the same thing in your position." He put a comforting hand to her forearm and before she could stop herself, she had stepped into his arms and was enfolded in a warm embrace. Not caring anymore, she let herself cry, let it all out at once, once more, her face hidden against Mulder's chest. It was as if whenever she thought she didn't have any tears left in her, they would suddenly come, burning hot and warm against her eyes and skin, spilling out on their own account in an empty silence.

Some days were better than others. She had days with small smiles, days with nice conversation. But as soon as she was left on her own, that same dark shadow of guilt would wash over her once more.

Finally letting go of Mulder's grip, she stepped back to look into his eyes. "Any day now, they say." She informed, forcing herself to gather herself up. Crying wouldn't do any good or change anything now.

"Good." Mulder said. "Just remember to take care of yourself as well one of these days." and with a final comforting squeeze to her arm, he let her enter the room alone once more.

When she entered, she was greeted by the familiar beeping of a machine, matching a steady heartbeat. It was bright from the morning, but the colors were dull and lifeless. The only real colors were from the flowers on the nightstand. But they had been more of a formality than anything else really. Hotch had told that they were from Emily's mother; she had asked him if they had arrived yet. Agent Hotchner had told her that Elizabeth Prentiss was an ambassador, currently assigned in Turkey. It was impossible for her to come visit her daughter. She didn't really have that much to base it on, but from she heard and saw, she guessed that Emily and her mother wasn't really that close, maybe even estranged.

Emily. She couldn't help but to think back to that day. She had run like hell to get to her after Margie had fallen to the ground. She hadn't even stopped to take care of what happened to Margie, she didn't care that she was knocked out cold and not arrested, she just needed to get to Emily. When she arrived, the backup was already in the process of entering the house. She saw them in the corner of her eye as she passed, saw them carrying down a man from the staircase, half-unconscious. She heard women screaming; saw one in handcuffs being led away. It didn't matter. She ran straight to the staircase going down.

"Down here! I need backup right now and medics waiting, we have an agent down!" she yelled aloud. "I repeat, agent down!" Promptly, five of the guys from the squad followed in her heels. She recognized one of them as being Rossi. He kicked down the door for her and went straight after Sandra, yelling loudly along with the others. She never saw the arrest. She went straight to Emily's side. She was lying down of the floor, small coughs escaping from her turned away face. Her whole body was cramping and shaking, and Scully saw the restrain around her hands. Turning her face towards her, she watched in horror at the blood covered nose and mouth, the raw red marks and scrapes.

"I'm right here, Emily. Don't worry, I got you. There is an ambulance waiting outside." She felt her own face contracting, tears slowly rising, though never spilling. She brushed Emily's cheek, her arm, tried to search her eyes. They would open and close for seconds at a time.

"Dana?" she heard the distorted voice say in reply.

"Yes?" she stopped for a second and slowed down, but Emily's eyes just closed as her head lulled unconsciously back. She was out. "I'm right here, baby. Right here. Come back to me." Tears were now desperately pressing as panic began to rise. She needed to get Emily out right now. She hurried with unsteady hands to turn her around and pull her hands free from the rope, as she yelled, "I need help over here!"

She had stayed with her in the ambulance holding her hand alongside JJ. She had kept tagging along for as long as she could, informing the doctors of the situation, the signs, the importance. She had been close to demanding to go into the surgery room, but she knew it wouldn't be any good, and even through all the autopsies she had performed and all her medical training, she didn't want to see Emily lying there, open on a table. It didn't seem right. It shouldn't have been Emily, it should have been her instead. Emily didn't deserve this.

The damage had been extensive. Broken rips had led to a collapsed lung, severe damage to her intestines, brain swelling. They had been lucky that they were able to stabilize her, but they had been forced to put her in an induced coma until her body had more time to heal and the swelling could go down to determine the true brain damage. Scully had insisted on staying by her side, never wanting to leave. Given her medical background, it had been easy to convince the doctors that she would stay and keep an eye on Emily past the visiting hours.

The team had been there as well, taking shifts at staying, at least one person staying by Emily's side at all time. But slowly they had left more and more, now only keeping to the visitation hours. Their arrival had been a nice chance for Scully to go back to her hotel room, get a change of clothes and a shower, brush her teeth, get some real food instead that from the venting machine.

She liked them, the team. All in their own way. She had long discussions with Dr. Reid about different theories and new angles on different subjects. He reminded her a bit of the contrast to Mulder, his passion burning for knowledge, much like her own. She had had a difficult time placing Garcia at first, but once they got into a conversation she realized that she was probably one of the most heartwarming and caring persons on the planet. She felt relaxed around her, like it was okay to smile again.

Hotch was more of a quiet type, but she could appreciate his leadership and sense of concern for his team member. He was the one who told Scully about Emily's mother, a bit about Emily and her background. How many languages she spoke, her stubbornness and persistence during tough cases. Her giant heart. Morgan told her stories about her personal life, about her humor, about times spend at the bar, about what a geek she was in reality but never wanted anyone to know. Morgan seemed almost like a big brother to Emily, that funny guy that loves to mess with you whenever he gets the change, but is always there when you need a shoulder. He made her smile with his jokes and stories and humor. He even began to mess with her as well, once he got to know her better and realized that she wasn't going anywhere. Rossi was more of a fatherly figure with his deep laughter, his secretive but trustworthy manner. He was a wise man, one you don't mess around with, but one that would be there for you when his trust was earned. A father bear. He brought her cups of Italian soup and reading material. Kept her updated on how the case was going as well as trying to make sure she was well taken care of. It was nice. She felt comfortable in his company, like it was okay to just relax and be human. They were all nice and none of them seemed to question Scully's staying there. She guessed they saw it as guilt, but she wasn't sure. None of them ever asked.

Then there was JJ. Scully remembered Emily telling her about her, about how she had been madly in love with her, but was left heartbroken in the end. It made Scully more reserved towards her. Made her take a step back. She wasn't sure if she should feel threatened. She had to remind herself that she wasn't actually in a relationship with Emily. What if Emily still had feelings for JJ? What if seeing Emily like this had made JJ change her mind? She could understand why Emily would fall JJ. She was beautiful and kind and warmhearted. She had a sense of motherly care about, but still had humor. She told stories about Emily as well. Told her about her big heart, her courage, her smile, her honesty. How she at any moment would sacrifice herself for another. Scully appreciated the stories. They helped to gain a better picture of the woman before her. Not one truly bad thing was ever said. But the way JJ looked at Scully was differently from the others. She felt as though she had been put under a microscope to be examined, even more than with Hotch. Perhaps she was.

"You really care for her, don't you?" JJ had asked on the fourth day, when the two of them were sitting alone in silence, watching Emily's steady breathing. She question took Scully aback for a second and she found she wasn't sure what to answer, what to expect. But then she looked to Emily, how fragile and beautiful she looked, how peaceful.

"Yes." She answered shortly, still focused on Emily. She figured that this was probably the one person she could talk freely to about this subject.

"I can see it in your eyes, you know?" JJ let out a smile and a sigh as she said it. "I'm happy for you. Emily deserves that." She was silent for another moment, deep in thought. "I know I broke her heart. I couldn't be the one for her, I wasn't able to give her what she wanted. What she deserves. I'm straight and already in love on my own account."

Scully looked with raised eyebrows to the floor for a second before she looked back up to meet JJ's baby blue eyes. "She already told me." Her voice was low and mindful of the sensitive moment they were having.

"She did?" JJ didn't know if she should be surprised or not. "What did she say?" she asked curiously.

"That she had been in love. That she had read the wrong signals, that she had never been so embarrassed."

"Embarrassed?" JJ repeated with surprise before Scully could continue. It made Scully stop in her tracks for a second.

"Yes, embarrassed." She continued. "And I think heartbroken as well. She said that you dealt with it well, though. That you didn't run away screaming, but kept her secret. Kept her friendship." She looked to Emily again, wondering. Slowly they fell into a sort of silence once more.

"You know, you have nothing to worry about." The comment made Scully look to JJ once more, a question mark in her searching eyes. "She's moved on from me. I'm happily engaged and expecting. If you make her happy, I will only ever support you." She looked to Scully with warmth and honesty. Scully sighed in content. Somehow the comment had seemed to lift small burden from her shoulders.

All she had to now was to wait and hope.