Unfortunately for Apollo, weekends never lasted long enough. Apollo knew he'd have to face that fact eventually. Phoenix had to return to work, Trucy was still in school and Athena was busy trying to push through the onslaught of cases that had piled in lately. Apollo tried to return to work, not wanting to be left alone and bored for the day; but the greater persuasion that was Phoenix convinced him that it was not such a good idea. Apollo was still recovering and when Phoenix had found him zoned out, trying to read through a file; Phoenix confronted him. 'Apollo, don't feel obligated to return to work.' He'd lent down, placing a hand on Apollo's shoulder and steering him away from the stack of documents. Apollo sighed. 'I can't expect to live and not pull my weight. You hired me to do this work and I can't just let you be responsible for this… Or for me.' 'Apollo, don't worry.' Phoenix retorted. 'But.' Apollo had tried to riposte. 'Your job is safe. I'm not going to fire you, let you starve or let you end up in the streets, it's not fair to you. If it takes you another week to return to work, it takes you another week. If it takes six months, well, then that's fine too. After everything you've been through, I'm more concerned about your recovery than anything else and you should be too. You don't need to have the stress of work on your back making things worse.'
Apollo struggled. He'd decided to stick with the pills, hoping a small sense of relief might come his way. The results of his blood work also settled unnervingly heavily on his mind. Every time his phone would ring, he'd jump. Nausea would hit him. He feared what the news might be. Every moment was agony. He'd done his best to convince himself that he functioned normally and it didn't hurt or itch, so he must be fine. But Apollo knew in the back of his mind that wasn't always the case. There were many other things that could be helping themselves his body, lying dormant or biding their time. Klavier, with his promiscuous reputation could have given him almost anything; the thought disturbed Apollo on more than one level.
As time passed, Apollo began to slip. He'd pushed hard, persuading Phoenix to at least let him do research for the files and act as a secretary of sorts. The tasks helped occupy his mind, distracting him from the nagging thoughts that surfaced in his less engaging moments. After nearly a week, Apollo had almost managed to forget the voices in his head when his phone rang. Apollo swallowed the lump in his throat as the clinics' number displayed across the screen. His breath caught in his throat, answering with a nervous 'Hello?' 'Mr. Justice,' Apollo gulped 'Yes?' 'We've got some good news for you, you're clean.' Apollo felt the blood drain from his face, his panic disappearing, but his nerves still overreacting to his moment of fear. 'However. We do recommend that you book a follow up appointment in a weeks' time. It was also noted that you're slightly anemic, which by your records, is normal.' Apollo swallowed, relived. He could handle this.
As the weather grew warmer, Trucy started her summer holidays and was seldom about. Now seventeen, she was more interested in a social life than a home life. She would leave in the morning, returning just before dark and spent most nights locked in her room. Phoenix had tried to talk to her, but it had proved unsuccessful. He just didn't get a young woman's perspective. Phoenix had asked Maya to speak to her, which seemed to help. Trucy stuck around more often, but she seemed more disgruntled with her father's wishes than anything. She had begun to take up new interests and her 'Daddy' was now 'Phoenix' or 'Dad' while her behaviour steadily degraded.
Apollo found himself confused and hurt over how she'd seemed to change towards him too. He couldn't remember doing anything to upset her. Some nights she'd try to get his attention, others she'd ignore him completely. On the occasions he had tried to get her attention, she'd brush him off, leaving him standing frustrated before he'd give up and lock himself in his room.
The summer passed quickly. Trucy was now in her final year of High School and Phoenix and Athena were busier than ever. Apollo happily returned to work, but when a violent rape-murder landed on his desk his second week back. He broke. It was too much. He'd shut himself off for days, only coming out when Phoenix threatened to break down the door.
Apollo abandoned his pills. He'd finally had enough. He took the bottle in his hand and flung them across the room. He was tired of the painful memory, the flat feelings, the inability to become interested in anything. Phoenix still offered his support, as did the others, but he couldn't bring himself to care. He longed for Phoenix to hold him again, to comfort him, to tell him he'd be alright. But Phoenix's support was stretched. Work consumed him and he still had Trucy to contend with. Apollo guilty hid, no longer vying for Phoenix's attention when he wasn't his responsibility. Apollo disgusted himself. He wasn't five anymore, those days now long behind him. He was nearly twenty-five, an adult and it was time he started acting like one. Apollo had presumed he might be part of the reason Trucy seemed so distant when she had been used to having Phoenix to herself. While she loved her 'Polly', she seemed to grow jealous of him. Apollo assumed her lash outs, her defiance and her poor attitude probably had a lot to do with him taking her 'Daddy' away and his depressive behaviour probably wasn't making things any easier.
Guilt, confusion and frustration tore at Apollo. He'd committed himself to the thought of being nothing more than a burden. It had been over half a year since the attack and almost nine months since Clay had been killed. Apollo found himself doubting the old adage 'Time heals all wounds.' He scoffed. His life was degrading and he knew he was dragging everyone down with him. He kept reminding himself that he was an adult, not a child. But he felt like one. He'd never had a childhood of his own and at first, it felt like he was getting to live his youth vicariously through the family the Wright Anything Agency had become. But, now he'd come to the conclusion he was doing more harm than good. He hadn't put much thought into what he was going to do when the time came to move on, in a way, hoping he'd never have to.
Apollo began to withdraw again. Only showing for work, then hiding away, shutting everyone out. He'd hoped Phoenix would drop things and run to him again, but he knew Phoenix couldn't. On the nights Phoenix did have free, he would make an effort to spend time with Apollo. Apollo appreciated the gesture, but got the feeling he was resented by the others. Simon's snap hadn't helped.
Apollo couldn't forget that wound. Athena and Simon had come over as usual. Apollo hadn't been feeling well. He woke only to find himself at the end of a judging, sarcastic, mocking tone. 'Mr. Justice, nice to see you finally awake.' Apollo's blood boiled with the insult as he took on Simon, telling him where to go and to back off, which had made things worse. Athena had tried to intervene, but Simon was at Apollo and Apollo wasn't about to back down. Apollo was sure blood would have been drawn if Phoenix and Athena hadn't forced the two apart. It had been made worse when Phoenix yelled at him, telling him to go to his room, scolding him. Apollo had spent the night crying himself to sleep, telling Phoenix to leave him alone when he'd come to talk to him.
Apollo sunk deeper into his own mind. This not only upset him, but seemed to bring Trucy around more. Now that Apollo had withdrawn himself, even from Phoenix; Trucy seemed happy to have her Daddy back. Apollo found himself pushed away, confirming his burden theory. Phoenix still tried to devote some time to him, but it had come across strained.
Time continued to pass; and for a while, it seemed to get better. The holiday season was approaching and moods seemed improved all around. Apollo knew that Phoenix loved the holiday season. Friends, family, all together, happy. Something Apollo never saw enjoyment from. Growing up, he'd never really been part of a home at the time of year and the Orphanage didn't have the resources to pull anything together for the kids beyond a special meal. Apollo had bonded with Clay in that time and each tried to make the holidays special for each other by doing something nice for the other. It became their tradition. Apollo wept to himself, the fond memory now a scar, something he'd never have again. Another thing he'd had ripped away from him.
Apollo watched from the couch on one of his better nights while Phoenix and Trucy pulled a ball of tangled lights from a box. 'This one's going to be tricky!' Phoenix warned. 'Maybe you and Polly can get it?' Apollo's hair stood up on the back of his neck. Trucy was getting better, but still seemed to harbour resentment for him. She took the ball from Phoenix and pranced over to the couch, practically dropping herself into his lap. 'Help me, Polly?' She smiled, laying it on thick. It took Apollo back. She actually sounded happy and the lack of a reaction from his bracelet to her words calmed him and she'd seemed genuine about her request.
Apollo took one end of the sting from Trucy, making quick work of the tangled mess. 'Help me put it up, Polly?!' Trucy bounced. Apollo obliged and steadied the chair so she could reach the window frame and hang the lights. His mood lifted as Trucy attached the string to the other side of the window. Apollo hadn't had the time to react before she'd jumped off her perch, grabbing him and hugging him tightly. He hugged her back; staying in place for over a minute in a silent apology for their growing hostility towards each other. Phoenix smiled, watching them from across the room, happy to have his little family together while he snapped a quick picture.