Summary: Where the one you like has someone else he likes.

learning to accept

It's funny and a little weird but he'd always tell his problems to me. I'm not sure why but maybe it's on the fact that we've been friends for many years. Even if we got separated at one point as I had to move away, we somehow managed to stay friends. But of course, after coming back, I learned that many things had changed. I was gone for a long time after all. There's nothing I could do to remedy the time we've lost. I just have to adjust.

So yeah, he just told me that he has a girl he likes. Who wouldn't be surprised? Considering that it's him that we're talking about. There's no need for him to tell me who it was though. I already know. I'm glad he finally realized his feelings. Really I'm glad.

The conversation flowed like usual, me teasing him about it, him pouting and snapping like a cat but suddenly it was turned to me.

"Hey, do you have someone you like?" His face looks genuinely curious as he said those words.

I realized that it's his way of getting back at me, after teasing him about his'. He wants to make me feel embarrassed as well.

But that's not how I felt. How easy it would've been if that was the case but sadly, it's not. Still, I put on my best smile. "Of course I have. Why ask?"

"Well, I was thinking of a time when you opened up to me like that. And guess what? I can't think of one. So, what's he like? More importantly, who is he?"

"Well, it won't matter anymore if you asked now. I'm over him."

"Hey! Over or not, tell it to me. It's unfair. I said mine to you!" He complains and as usual, it reminds me of a child who's throwing tantrums. How cute.

I shrug, "It's not like I pushed you to tell me that. You're the one who just blurted it out."

"I wouldn't open up to you anymore," he states, clearly expecting me to take the threat and confess.

"Let's see if you can." My lips curls up in a smile when I saw him slouch, realizing that he wouldn't be able to.

"But yeah, the feelings you have for her feels true. I'm not really sure what others think but as I saw the two of you together. You look really happy. So don't doubt your feelings." I manage to convey what I truly think about his attraction to her. Yes, it's an attempt to regain the normality in our conversation. He probably wouldn't notice it anyway.

"Thanks for saying that," he says, his eyes twinkling with sincerity. "But who said I doubt my feelings? I'm sure that she's very important to me for a while now, I just didn't realize how deep it is."

I smile once again, seeing his relaxed form beside me, basking in an almost different light from where I could see. My heart throbs, happy and at the same time sad at this growth that I didn't get to witness beside him. That I didn't get to cause.

"How about you?" He asks, and for a moment I got lost gazing in his eyes. "Who is your crush?" I snap out of my stupor at the question. He is being oddly persistent. I'm really surprised that the topic about me hasn't ended.

"Well, I do have many crush."

"Seriously?" His eyes widen and looks a bit panicky at me. "Are girls always like that? What if she's like that?!"

I shake my head at his silliness. "Don't worry it's not like that. I had many crushes but many of the feelings I felt are just infatuation. Those feelings fade over time."

He raised a brow. "Aren't you sad that they aren't the one? Do you even have that someone you really like?"

"I did have one," I answer in a small voice, hoping that he wouldn't hear it to no avail. "But I didn't ask him out so it's too late now."

He gave a noncommittal hum before asking, "So who is it?"

"Who is what?" I ask in return, pretending to not know what he's asking about.

"You know, the boy you like?"

I let the silence continue, turning my head away from him. I know that I should answer, so I could have closure but... I still couldn't. I'm slowly but surely getting over him now. It will just be my secret. I swore to myself that I will not tell it to anyone. Maybe not until I'm sure that I'm totally over him. And now's not the time.

"Hey!" He raise his voice to catch my attention as he wave a hand to my face.

That's when a notice a figure walking not far from us. "Ah," I let out a short gasp in surprise. What a nice timing.

"What?"

I focus on his face again, running my blue eyes on his scrunch up brow to the frown on his lips before pointing my fingers behind him. He, in curiosity looks back to find no one there.

"Lisanna," he warns, tone filled with a hint of annoyance.

I laugh and points at his back again.

"No! I'm not gonna be fooled again," he said as he cross his hands.

I continue to smile as I wait for her to approach. Thanking her in my mind for unknowingly helping to spare me that question. My smile widens when she was finally close to reach and touch his shoulders. The show would be interesting again, seeing the expression on her face says that she was so-not-happy.

"Hey, Natsu," she starts menacingly in a singsong voice, a dark smile on her face. "I thought you'll be back after buying snacks." He flinches at the tone of her voice. "And look? You still haven't bought anything?"

"L-Lucy?" He asks, slowly turning his head as if to prepare himself from the blonde's wrath. With his empty hands, it was obvious that he still didn't do his task, his only task too apparently.

She smiles at me. I understand that it was her greeting. I return it as brightly as I can to match hers.

"Don't think that you'll be saved for doing that project just because I'm your partner."

"But Lucy I was just asking her about something important. Right Lisanna?" Natsu looks at me with his best sparkling eyes, begging me to agree, to back him up.

"Nah, we just finished talking. You can have him now," I said giving it more than one meaning. She looks confused for a second but she brightens up nonetheless. At the prospect of scolding him too probably.

"You're so cruel Lisanna! I thought we're friends." Natsu shouts as he's being dragged away.

"Good luck," I smile, waving at them which Lucy returns.

Their playful banter can still be heard at the place where I am. They were loud like usual. They head back to the library, forgetting the food as punishment for Natsu and would just continue doing their project. Together. He's lucky that he got paired with—no. Actually, he was lucky that Lucy accepted his offer to pair up. I don't have to ask why she did.

He's lucky she reciprocates his affections. Although it was a common knowledge to everyone, it was unknown by the two. I let myself smile, feeling a lot lighter than I've ever did after releasing a deep breath.

I hope the two of them can eventually say what they really feel for each other.

As I've said, I had different crushes but it really did fade over time. The one that stayed in my heart has someone he really likes. I'm not gonna ruin their future together by getting in between them. I also know that I don't have a chance. I would endure the pain of not saying anything than ruin the friendship that we have. I will stay strong until I can find the one that can make me fall all over again. I really look forward to the day where I can laugh about the fact that I liked him.

That I liked Natsu.

notes: Thanks for reading!

It's actually inspired by a fic about SakuSyao where the character that tells the story isn't revealed at first. Well, the story is definitely not the same.

Feel free to say what you think. :3

09/13/17 . 05/24/2020