Better late than never, right?

Translations: Are below.

Wo de ma he ta de feng kuang de wai sheng dou—Holy Mother of God and all her wacky nephews

Hun dan—Bastard

Dong ma?—Understand?

Meimei—Little sister

Shen-sheng de gao-wan—Holy testicle Tuesday

New Year's Eve

"Glad to be out of that infirmary?" Zoe leaned against the pilot's chair on the bridge. "Reckoned you were gonna go insane."

"Nearly did." Mal flipped the switches on the console. "Know more about Simon's doctoring stories than I ever asked for, and he knows more of my sergeant stories than he needs."

Zoe frowned suddenly. "Sir, you notice anything wrong with that sentence?"

"Not in particular. What do you mean?"

"You didn't say you told Simon captain stories. You said you told him sergeant stories."

"So?" Mal shrugged. "We had naught to do but talk, 'specially after Simon ran out of things to sort."

"You gotta admit, it's a mite odd you talking over war stories with Simon when you're sitting alone together. What'd you tell him?"

"Don't know why you want to know, but let's see. Told him about when you and me got pinned down on that cliff and near had to start an avalanche to get out of it. When Chandra got hold of a bunch of firecrackers to use as a diversion and Henry tried to steal 'em for his birthday. When Joel crawled three miles to get back to base after he near lost a foot. When we were stuck in that town and half of us got poisoned—"

"The gift exchange?" Zoe stared. "You told him about that?"

"Why shouldn't I? You were the one as told me it weren't always best to hide everything."

"Wo de ma he ta de feng kuang de wai sheng dou.You're dead gone on him."

"What? Zoe, that's a notion you better get out of your head."

"Agreeing to do that gift exchange 'cause he says it's revenge? Getting crazy worried over him when those rioters come? Looking the way you did over that story he told Christmas Eve? Fine. I'll leave all that out of it. But, for you, telling that story is like showing up on his doorstep with a bouquet of flowers, even if no one knows it but me."

"It ain't like that. You got it all wrong."

"With all due respect, sir," Zoe said flatly. "You're an idiot." She walked off down the stairs.

OoOoO

Mal dug through the old crate in the corner of his bunk, cursing himself for giving in to Kaylee's foolery. She'd insisted it would be a shiny idea to have sparklers on New Year's Eve, and Mal had made the mistake of mentioning he thought he had a few old ones hidden away somewhere. At which point he'd been subjected to Kaylee's wide-eyed pleas—which were near impossible to resist unless there were many lives at stake—'til he went to look for 'em.

How long had it been since he'd sorted through this crate, anyway? Four years? More? Mal pushed two broken gun cartridges and a torn calligraphy-covered wall hanging out of the way. Where the gorram hell were those sparklers? If they even still worked. His hand closed on something that felt like a metal chain and he yanked it out—then froze.

It was the cross he'd worn in Serenity Valley. Why'd he ever kept that?

There were footsteps on the ladder leading into his bunk, and Mal whipped 'round to see Simon standing there. "Problem, Doc?"

"No, but Kaylee told me you were down here, and I just wanted to ask—" Simon stopped, peering at Mal. "Is that a cross? I thought you didn't care much for anything to do with God."

Mal threw it back in the crate. "I don't. Haven't worn that old thing in six years."

"Why do you still have it, then?"

No accusation or challenge in Simon's voice—just simple curiosity. Almost made Mal want to actually answer—that is, if he'd known what to say. Instead, he shrugged. "Suppose I never got 'round to getting rid of it." That sounded a poor excuse even to him. "It don't mean much to me one way or the other, since I lost my faith."

"But you do believe."

Shocked by how absolutely sure Simon sounded, Mal stared at him. "No, I don't. What's got you thinking otherwise?"

"Balance of probability." Simon paused. "I'm your medic, I know what Niska did to you and Wash. Statistically speaking, most people who get through that kind of torture and don't break—they have something to hold onto. I'm guessing for Wash, it was Zoe. For you—well, I don't know what you believe in, but I do think it's there."

Mal knew perfectly well what had kept him going through the torture—the knowledge that if he didn't survive, or lost his mind, it was goodbye to Simon and River's haven on Serenity. He weren't about to trust anyone else with their safety. But there'd be no benefit to saying as much. "So, did Kaylee send you down here to ask after those gorram sparklers?"

"No, but I wanted to ask how your head was."

"I'm fine." Mal rolled his eyes. "Why you keep fussing about it I'll never—"

"Do you have any idea what it was like, those two days you were out?" Simon interrupted, voice heated. "None of us knew what to do. I felt as if I'd failed you—failed everyone—"

"Since when does some hun dan taking a shot at me mean you've failed us? That don't make any kind of sense."

"But I couldn't help you. I'm supposed to be your medic, supposed to fix things. But I did everything I could, and you just wouldn't wake up, and—"

"And now I'm walking and talking, so back off on blaming yourself!" Mal got to his feet and grabbed Simon by the shoulders, realizing only too late how close that put them. "Ain't no one here gonna condemn you for not performing miracles. None of what went down was your fault, dong ma?"

Anything else he might've said was cut off when Simon kissed him.

It was over almost before it began, and Simon stumbled back. "I'm sorry. That was—unprofessional. I didn't mean—"

"Oh, no you don't," Mal muttered. He pulled the doctor closer and their mouths met again. Simon shuddered and went pliant against him. It was exactly what Mal wanted—Simon in his arms, body pressed against his, with him, under him, everything—

And then Simon jerked away, backing up. "Mal, I—I can't."

"What? Why not?"

"I can't be your distraction." For the briefest moment, Simon looked as if he might cry, then the moment passed. "Believe me, I'd love to be. But I'm not strong enough for that." He started to climb the ladder out of Mal's bunk.

"Distraction? Distraction from what?"

"Inara."

"What? Simon, you ain't thinking—"

The door to Mal's bunk slammed shut. Mal cursed, dropped back to sit on the bed, and wondered how in hell he was going to fix this.

OoOoO

That evening, Serenity's crew gathered in the kitchen to cook. Mal didn't pretend he weren't a bit nervous about the combination of River, Jayne, and knives, but he kept his worries to himself, for the most part. If they kept their eyes open, things should be alright.

"Jayne!" Kaylee smacked him for the third time. "We saved that pumpkin for the pie near five days, now you're gonna eat it all 'fore it even gets to the table?"

"I'm cookin' it. Ain't I allowed to sneak some?"

"Do you see anyone else sneaking?" Zoe checked on the meat in the oven. "Shepherd, this rosemary's sure gonna be a help. The garlic, too."

"Glad to hear it." Book was mashing sweet potatoes on the counter. "I must say, I had no idea this crew was so efficient at cookery."

"Not me," Wash declared from where he was ending beans with River. They'd all agreed that that task, at least, weren't too dangerous for her. "I burn everything."

Mal rolled out the pie crust. In lack of a rolling pin, they were using one of Jayne's old whiskey bottles. He'd had some doubt he'd remember his mother's old recipe, but it turned out that was as drilled into his head as everything else.

"Zoe, is that meat near done?" Kaylee asked. "I wanna put these popovers in."

"Just about," Zoe replied. "I still don't really get why we're having these for dinner, not breakfast."

"You can put gravy in 'em. If you're as good at makin' that as you say, it'll be right tasty."

"Zoe can make whatever she wants," Wash announced with confidence.

Simon came in from the hall, carefully avoiding Mal's gaze, and turned to Inara. "Thank you for letting me use your shuttle to peel the onions. I'm sure everyone appreciates non-watering eyes."

"It's not a problem." Inara went to the cooler. "I'll just use some incense to get rid of the scent. Now, what do I do about this cream sauce?"

Miraculously, with River in the kitchen, nothing broke and nobody got slashed with a knife, and soon everyone was sitting down to dinner in the tinsel-covered kitchen. Inara declared that since she refused to tell them a "whoring" story (the term Jayne's, not hers) she'd tell them about her training in the Companion House.

"And Mala got so tired of the House Mistress telling her that she had to glide, not walk, that she stole all her shoes and filled them with snails and slugs," Inara finished. "She had extra chores for two weeks, but she always said it was worth it, to see that even the House Mistress couldn't be graceful under every circumstance."

"Didja have a Christmas tree in the Companion House, 'Nara?" Kaylee asked. "We used to have one every year. A big old noble fir. But then we moved south, and there weren't no evergreens. My daddy had to get us a bunch of palm fronds instead. Harder to put lights on, but we managed."

The crew swapped more stories for the rest of the dinner. River told a surprisingly understandable tale about a Christmas dinner where their crazy grandmother, convinced the wood fairies were coming to steal the children away, filled the house with pepper to ward them off. Wash regaled them with a story of his first time behind the controls of a spaceship, when his vision had been blocked by a cloud of pigeons right after takeoff. Jayne tried to start back into his prostitute-and-pie tale, but got kicked by three people at once.

"Alright, it's time," Kaylee finally announced. "Everyone go get their gifts. Gotta show 'em off and hear who gave 'em to you."

Mal, back in his bunk, stared at the black envelope. Wasn't sure he was looking forward to know who gave him that. But Kaylee would get it out of him whether he brought it or not, so he decided to save himself the bother.

Back at the table, Jayne apparently decided it was his job to go first. "I got myself a new firin' pin for a Callahan full-bore autolock, with a customized trigger, double-cartridge thorough gauge. Vera's gonna be right pleased. Who got me this?"

Wash waved a hand. "That would be me."

"Guess you might be good for somethin' after all. Thanks."

"What did you get, Simon?" Kaylee asked.

River cut in before her brother could answer. "The potential ability to disable certain vital organs without the aid of a scalpel or drugs." She grinned. "Dangerous."

"If that's your way of saying I got the offer of gun lessons, you're right. I certainly need them." Simon looked at the others. "Also, I have a book of Earth-That-Was poetry, for which I'm most grateful. I haven't had much new to read out here in the black."

"So who gave it?" Kaylee asked.

Zoe nodded at Simon. "Guilty, Doc. Hope you take me up on the lessons."

"Don't worry. I will."

"I've received a new Bible," Book volunteered. "Of a very rare type, printed on an antique Sihnon press. I'm hoping River won't cut it up."

"No promises."

Inara smiled. "I'm glad you like it. That was me."

"It's quite special. Thank you."

Kaylee waved a small pouch around in the air. "I got a new set of jacks and a ball! I've lost nearly all my old ones. And a welder, a little one for careful work."

River smiled. "Stars are the jacks. Ball is the moon. Welder is the sun." She poked Simon. "You thought I was crazy."

"Thanks, River!" Kaylee hugged her around the shoulders. "Guess you'd be the one to know I needed 'em."

Inara pulled two highly decorated pins out of her hair. "According to the box, these can be filled with knockout drugs. They're released when I squeeze this gem. Even apart from that, they're lovely. Who was it?"

"Me," Jayne said proudly. "Now none of your clients can mess with you."

"I'll be sure to keep them with me."

Wash pulled out a couple of very colorful books. "I've got these. Written by someone named Dr. Seuss." He read aloud. "'You have brains in your head, you have feet in your shoes, you can steer yourself any direction you choose.' Also the promise of some help in paying to replace a flight control next time I think it's necessary and Mal doesn't."

Book winked. "I hope you find the books entertaining."

"Everyone knows what I received. And I know who gave them to me." River pointed at Mal.

Mal, who had been doing one of his customary and completely accidental Simon-glances, got the blast of an expression full of gratitude that nearly made him fall off his chair. Hastily, he looked at River instead. "Glad you liked 'em."

"Play is necessary in the development of the brain. Thank you."

Zoe held up a tin. "I've got gun oil. Also a big fluffy bathrobe. And I reckon I've got some idea who might think of a thing like that."

Kaylee laughed. "Yeah, it was me. And Jayne helped me pick out the gun oil. Hope you like it."

"I do for certain. Thanks."

Mal was about to own up to his gift when he realized, and looked around frantically. If Wash and Zoe and Inara and River and Jayne and Book and Kaylee had all owned up, that left one person to give to him. Simon.

"What'd you get, Captain?" Kaylee asked. "Must be somethin' crazy to make you look like that."

"Yeah, Mal." Wash waved at Simon. "I guess we all know who gave the gift. So what is it?"

"Here." Mal pulled out the envelope and opened it. "Reckon you better have a look yourselves."

He carefully looked at anyone but Simon as his crew passed the letters around. Face after face looked astonished, pair after pair of eyebrows went up, mouth after mouth dropped open, the more they read. Mal sat, tense as hell, the whole time.

Jayne was the first to speak. "I don't get it. Why'd the doc get a bunch of gifts for other folk? This were supposed to be for Mal."

Kaylee smacked him again. "If it weren't for the captain needin' a gift, none of these folk would've gotten no coin. So it's all 'cause of him. Don't ya know how good it feels when you do somethin' for other people?"

Wash grinned. "This is Jayne we're talking about. I wouldn't count on it. But the rest of us have some idea."

Book nodded. "Looks like you've made a lot of people happy, Captain."

"It ain't often we get a chance to do good out in the black," Zoe said.

"What do you think of your gift?" River asked cheekily.

Now it was Simon's turn to poke her. "That's rude, meimei."

"You want to know."

Mal had no idea what to say. I'm scared you know me this well? It's too much and I shouldn't accept it? If the crew weren't here I'd kiss you dizzy? "Zoe's got the right of it. There's too much hardship in the worlds. Makes it a real treat when we can relieve some of it. Thank you."

Simon was bright red. "You're welcome."

"How many credits is this again?" Jayne was consulting the letters. "I can't add 'em right."

"Of course you can't," Wash told him. "Your brain's shorted out at the thought of money."

Kaylee clapped her hands together. "Alright, folks. I got one more surprise for you. River's gonna help me, so you all gotta clear out of the kitchen for a few minutes. Might wanna put your gifts back in your bunks."

Everyone did as she ordered, heading for their bunks. Once he'd put the envelope where it belonged, Mal stood for a moment, trying to get his thoughts together. Again, Zoe's words came back. Mayhap it's friendship, mayhap it's romance-like, but whoever gave you this loves you. That's plain obvious.

Mal steeled himself and walked towards the passenger quarters. His brain was screaming at him to run in the opposite direction, and it would've been real easy. But he didn't do easy in anything else. Why not add this mad stunt to the rest?

Simon was just walking out of his room when Mal found him. The turning-bright-red promptly returned. "Um, I did want to say. Thank you for the gift to River. It really made her happy. She—"

"Why'd you do it?" Mal interrupted.

"Do what?"

"Give me that gift."

"I'm sorry." Simon looked down. "It wasn't really giving you anything. But I thought and thought—"

"What the hell are you sorry for? It's worth more than just about anything I own, and I ain't talking just about coin. Those folks you found? They were near as close to me as Zoe, in the war. Saved my life, I saved theirs. Giving them some help would be of value even if you hadn't spent half a fortune on it."

"It wasn't all money I'd saved. The people I helped in the city the other day gave me some too."

"But you could have used it for your own self easy. Why'd you do it?"

"Because I thought you'd be glad of it. And anyone who's glad when other people suffer a little less deserves a gift that's of value."

"I ain't a nice man, Simon. You shouldn't be getting that idea."

"Don't you think I know that? Just on the first day we met, you threatened to throw River and me out the airlock, tricked me into thinking Kaylee had died, and shot a federal agent. Since then I've watched you brawl and kill and smuggle."

"So why do you—"

Simon went on. "But I've also seen you return stolen medicine and face up to torture and defend people who need your help and come back for us. Twice. I don't believe anymore that there's such a thing as a good man. There are just people who try to do what's right with what they're given."

Time to be the idiot Zoe said he was. "Alright. I'm going to the special hell."

"What are you talking about?"

Mal kissed him.

He had two seconds before Simon jumped back. "Mal, what are you doing? I thought you and Inara—"

Best clear that up right quick. "We ain't. We'd never work—hell, we can hardly talk without fighting."

"You're serious."

"As I've ever been."

Simon took a breath. "Don't taunt me. I'm the Core-bred doctor with the three-quarters mad sister who could bring the Alliance down on your crew at any second. I can't offer you half of what anyone else could."

"Then your half's the half I want." Mal met his eyes. "I want the man who's generous enough to give up everything when he knows his sister's in trouble. Who's smart enough to drag folks back from the edge of death. Who's brave enough to pick up a gun even when he's got no idea how to shoot it. So don't tell me I'm taunting you. If I didn't want to be here, I wouldn't."

"Mal." Simon's voice was almost a whisper. "When you came back for us on Jiangyin and told those villagers River was our witch, so cut her the hell down—I've wanted to kiss you ever since then."

"Then why don't you do it? I ain't walking away from this."

What started as a tentative brush of lips quickly turned into far more. Mal had never felt so alive as he did with Simon in his arms, tasting him, feeling the heat of him, pressing close together with a tenderness he hadn't felt out in the black since before the war.

When they finally broke apart, Mal brushed a thumb over Simon's cheekbone. "Can't promise you easy. Reckon you know that. Life out here's dangerous."

"I don't care what kind of heartbreak it sets me up for later. This is worth it."

Mal kissed him again, not bothering to keep his hands from wandering, but Simon didn't seem inclined to call a halt. Their breathing quickened and pleasure coiled in Mal. He pushed Simon against the wall and went about exploring and claiming his mouth, finding what made him shiver and gasp.

"Ah. Excuse me."

Simon started, and Mal turned to see Book standing there. "You got a problem with this, Shepherd? Because I'm telling you right now, we don't care."

Book smiled. "True men of God don't judge the way people choose to love each other. But I believe Kaylee will be disappointed if you don't come partake of the champagne she somehow managed to procure for a New Year's toast."

"Guess we'd better not miss that." Mal reluctantly pulled away from Simon. "More of this later."

"I certainly hope so." Simon grinned.

When they all got upstairs, Kaylee raised her champagne-filled cup. "Now, you all have been real obligin' when it comes to this here celebratin', but there's just one more thing. We all gotta say what we wish for the New Year. I hope my girl Serenity stays flyin', and that all my family ends up real healthy and happy." She looked around. "My family back dirtside and my family here."

"You also wish to employ the engine room for alternate purposes. As you did when you first came on this ship." River ruffled her hair. "I think you should tutor me."

Kaylee looked up at her and laughed. "Do you now?"

"I hope we get double takes on all our jobs, and that I don't get shot for a few weeks at least." Jayne took a gulp of champagne.

Zoe laid her hand on Wash's. "We all get through safe, I'm good."

Her husband nodded. "If fate's in a generous mood, she could send me another plastic dinosaur. But I'll be happy if we're still together next year, all of us."

Inara held up her cup. "I agree."

"We live with broken minds and broken hearts as well as broken bodies, at times," Book said, smoothing the cover of his new Bible. "I pray they all heal."

Simon looked around at the crew. "A year ago, I had no home and no idea where River was. I wished for better for next year, and I found more than I had reason to hope for. Kaylee's right. If Serenity stays flying, that's enough."

"Now my turn," Mal announced. "And my hope is that this lasts." And he leaned over and pulled Simon into a kiss.

Kaylee whistled. River clapped. Jayne fell off his chair. "Shen-sheng de gao-wan!When did that happen?"

"You're the only one who's surprised," Inara told him.

"Yeah," Wash put in. "The rest of us knew before they did."

Mal, who was now letting himself look at Simon all he wanted, wondered why he hadn't done this ages ago. "Guess this Christmas thing could've gone worse."

Wash turned to Jayne. "You owe me fifteen credits."

The End.