SIX: Secret Wish of a Dead World

Why is it you?

Why has it always been you? I've known you longer then anyone else alive and in all that time you never seemed to show any interest in me. I suppose we were friends, I always believed we were and you never corrected me – but you're so oblivious to things that concern others! You don't really care about others, I've learnt it after so long otherwise I'm sure you would have come and searched for me when I didn't return and my brother's dead body must have been found!

Even Rangiku used to taunt me about my infatuation with you! She used to make me blush and you were standing right in front of me half the time looking clueless! I don't know any man that would dare be so blunt and ignorant when there was always a tense atmosphere between us since that day you saved me from Ichinosae.

You knew then I didn't want to leave Soul Society. At first, whilst I was still reeling in the betrayal of my boyfriend, I didn't notice how you were there at the right time. When he broke my wrist for struggling against him and tried to tie me to him, you cut that chord in a flash and caught me as the shock made me fall back!

I remember that warm embrace and the concern you showed in your face. I'd never seen such warmth or fear in the same mixed expression; you were never the kind of person to show that kind of thing.

And then you dropped me on the ground and got ready to fight….

It's taken a long time for me to realise that fighting was all you were ever interested in. I mean, we used to wrestle and train together from time to time and yet you had never shown any interest in me as a woman. You always asked about my Kido and my sword and all sorts of things that you could not do, but they were always about fighting. Of course you asked about my brother and some of the things you remembered from when I was a kid, but you never really asked about me.

Before I disappeared I remember the horrible argument we had. I know that girl you were seeing was trouble! Of course I was jealous, I'd been around you so long and if I'd have strutted in front of you totally naked you would not have noticed and just assumed I was using some new technique! But she was POISONING you! She was giving you a mix to knock you out if you got too much for her, but you were being given more then you should have! That's why I confronted you and her about it when I was cleaning the dining room. Then she called me a bitch, you just told me I was overreacting, and then I threw that plate at her. It didn't hit her but you saw me reach for another, and I know that's why you grabbed my wrist.

You didn't hurt me; you could have thrown me through a wall if you wanted! But it was an automatic reaction of mine to slap you around the face. But the look of shock on your face when I did that, and your sudden release, has haunted my dreams. I would never do that to you! But then you were in a fever, and I nursed you! Then I beat that stupid woman up and was thrown in a cell for a little while. You came to ask what I was doing, but you and Mayuri turned up in time to see Lord Uso kicking the crap out of me. You looked angry, but it was Mayuri who lunged forward and pushed him out of the cell before yelling at me for not defending myself….

God… Do I send out some kind of "help me, help me" vibe? But you never let me ask for forgiveness then, you didn't even speak to me, you just left! Then I went with my brother, and my life in the Sereitei ended! If I had been able to, you know what I would have done if I had never left and you would have given up the whore!

Her gait was swift and no one could stand in her way! She had finally had enough of the taunts and enough of attempting to try other guys out. She also knew what her heart wanted and now her confidence had grown enough to give it a test. She was not only a battler, but she could be a lover too if it was wanted! The only way to test it on such a brick-wall oblivious man would be to go ahead and pin him down. Rin knew what she had to do and upon stomping into Kenpachi's office she informed Yachiru to leave, and obediently the youngster did.

"Want something?" Kenpachi questioned in that slightly bored tone he addressed everyone with when stuck in the office. Rin froze for a second, it was difficult to figure out what to say, but she knew there was no use in holding it back. After gulping air a little bit, she tightened her fists and suddenly yelled out at the top of her voice, wincing in fear of rejection.

"I LOVE YOU KENPACHI ZARAKI!"

"Come again?" Kenpachi questioned with a slightly confused look to his face. Honestly, there was not much emotion in this man but he should not have said a thing. Rin's skin turned crimson and though her cheeks flushed in embarrassment her flaring spiritual pressure began to bubble with her anger. Kenpachi noticed this and grinned - was there a fight about to happen? He assumed that any such words of affection were just his squad members telling him they would die if he told them to.

"Damn Your Idiocy!" Rin growled and the anger grabbed her confidence and punched her forward. She grabbed the collar part of Kenpachi's eye patch and pulled him straight toward her. Kenpachi's grin disappeared as confusion set in. He had no time to pull away as her soft lips locks around his thin ones.

Though the embrace was swift, their lips lingered together. They could feel each others soft, warm, fluttery breath and feel the heat rising within blushing cheeks. The moistness of their lips increased as they moved a little closer, locking together a little more tightly. Then as Rin opened her mouth slightly to take some air in, she was given a shock as Kenpachi's long tongue flickered at the edges of her mouth.

The sudden vibration, tingle, and pleasure caused Rin to giggle and turn her head to the side. She looked for a moment like a shy school girl but then returned to normal, pulling herself off the desk after realising just how close they'd become. She straightened her shihakshou, looking nervously at him...

Kenpachi was just grinning. He was flushing red but something red glittered in his eyes and he shook his head. It seemed to Rin for a moment that he was now finally realising she was a woman finally.

"HA! I should have guessed you were into that stuff! But I'm game; I've always wondered how those so-called 'Kissing Fish' managed to wrestle like that! So come on Rin! LET's BATTLE!"

Okay, my imagination started it off well but then it got slapped by reality. What am I thinking anyway, it would never happen! Besides, I've changed and I'm sure he hasn't. If he knew how strong I'd become, he'd only be interested in another fight, which I wouldn't be willing to give him. I just wish there was another way I could have expressed my feelings toward him! What the hell! I'm a changed woman, I've been around the block before and I know my stuff. I'll just use one of the methods that got my other beau tied around my little finger!

Rin was not sure how she'd managed to get through eleventh squad security so well, then again they were all terribly lazy. She'd finished her shift at twelfth squad and once Mayuri had grudgingly let her leave, she'd cleared the back wall and snuck amongst the shadows. She'd then managed to get into Kenpachi's private quarters and was thankful that she'd been able to bribe Byakuya to take Yachiru into his house for the evening after supplying him with limitless candy and producing an old bra for Byakuya to ogle over - he was such a pervert at heart!

Taking the bag from her back, she looked at the messy state of the bedroom and shook her head. Luckily she'd have some time to clean it all up before Kenpachi got back. After about an hour or so, Rin had managed to wash all of the clothes, hang them out to dry, tidy the bed sheets, and give the place a scrub. She was quite glad of the special energy pills she'd borrowed from Akon; they had given her a surprising speed she'd not expected. But then she felt the tremor in the air, the squad were returning.

With a cheeky grin, she quickly took out the roses from her bag and broke them up, scattering them all over the bed sheets. Then she ran a small bath and washed her skin down then dried it. She could feel the power of Kenpachi heading toward the barracks and so she finished up as quickly as she could. She made sure her hair was loose and slightly curled, and then put on a really deep red lipstick that almost looked like blood. Worrying it might look a bit tatty but then shaking her head, Rin picked up the black leather corset that she'd packed and pulled it on. She tied it up enough for her bosom to look much lusher and her waist to look more petite. She wanted to compliment of weak and powerful to catch Kenpachi's eyes, so she then tied some white lace around her wrists and let it hang, just in case he wanted to tie her up. Then she put on stockings to darken her legs and double-checked they were smooth.

Lastly she pulled on her crutch less panties with a garter belt that attached to the stockings. They were all black and the panties were a tight fabric that accentuated her pert bottom. Then she draped herself over the bed and leant her head on her hand, her elbow pressing into the hard bed. She then reconsidered and turned so she would be facing the door, her legs lifting in the air, and her bosom more noticeable. Then she waited with a coy look on her face as she felt the spiritual pressure approach her.

The door opened, and Rin was about to say something when the door opened far too wide and three drunk members of eleventh squad (Yumichika, Ikakku, and Kenpachi himself), burst through the door. They froze in surprise, blinked a little then collapsed on the ground in sleep. Rin shook her head, embarrassed and annoyed that Kenpachi was missing a chance with her, but at the same time pleased that they were so drunk they wouldn't even know what they had seen.

Maybe I should have been a man after-all! Then at least he would have reacted to me a little less obliviously. But I can only see my attempts as a man failing terribly and him killing me. The only way I'd be able to seduce him would be to take him down in battle and then kidnap him. Then I'd use the old "Winner gets the Spoils" thing, which he'd understand. But I can see him hating me and maybe killing me for it...

Wait, did I just suggest that I was going to rape him? My God I'm really twisted! All that shit in Eurasia really has changed me. I would never be able to do that to him. Listen to my mind, all I've been thinking here is forcing him to take notice. Maybe I should just let him make the first move, but be a little less restrained.

Who am I kidding? There's no hope for us, is there?

"Captain Ninel! Captain Ninel! Are you alright Captain?" Rin's mind was almost bitch-slapped back into reality by Igor sending one of his telepathic messages to her. Damn, she hated that bond from sharing blood with him! What if he had heard the thoughts about being a man?

Well... He'd heard worse from her mind before now!

"Yes, Lieutenant? Oh... Oh... Yeah, I just got hit by a wave of spiritual pressure from this guy. I would've thought a captain would hold it in during one of these meetings..."

Author's Note: I want to thank my sister for telling me about her enjoyment of kisses, my buddy Bambi for sharing her own failed seduction attempts with me, and Bucket the Man-Whore for telling me about his own Manly Seduction Experiences... Hope you've enjoyed this chapter!

NEXT TIME: Chapter 7 - Angel Within the Nightmare

Rin's panicking and despite believing she's perfectly well hidden, Old Man Yamamoto knows more then she had hoped. Damn Schatzstein! So when he offers them to stay for tea again, well if being polite won't work there's another way to do it! Just wait to you see what Rin does when someone says Yachiru Uso! Not to mention how difficult it is to sedate her!

ALSO! I have proof that Renji is actually the purple retard Flamingo with the Yo-Yo from Fantasia 2000 - It's why Sixth squad don't hold musical shows anymore!