Chapter 13 – Attempted Death
I was on the roof, and I knew I was going to jump I couldn't take it anymore, I did jump of the roof and I remember hitting the floor before blacking out.
My sisters later told me that I didn't die as I wanted but I went into a coma for 3 months, Whilst I was in the coma I could hear everything my mum and sisters were saying but was unable to respond, hearing my sisters cry was torture and I wanted to comfort them.
When I did wake up I was in pain but I still refused to tell them why I had done what I had done, I could never win against dad no matter what, I was in just as much danger with him in prison then out of prison.
Going back to school was torture as everyone kept staring at me as if I was going to do it again and the teachers wouldn't let me out of their sight.
When I wouldn't stop harming myself and after two more suicide attempts, I got send away to a home so they could keep an eye on me twenty four seven, but I couldn't stand not being allowed to harm myself so I started to lash out at the staff.
'GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME'
I actually got thrown out for violent behaviour and got send to another one for 'highly disturbed' individuals, my family wasn't allowed to visit me at this home and I had a strap on my arm which was a sensor that monitored where I was, I also had an camera and they watched all day and if I tried anything a team would run in and stop me.
No one understood why I was doing it and I refused to talk about it, they didn't believe me the first time why would they believe me now and dad would come out and murder me ,either way I was trapped.
No one could help me unless they could get dad out my life forever but that was never going to happen.