Disclaimer: I own nothing but the idea for this story
Being a dad means teaching your baby two words: Da Da
Sasuke always needed to have the first word and the last. That is, if he felt like speaking to you. If you were an idiot he wasn't even going to waste his words on you. He wanted his children to be the same. They would be smart and they wouldn't waste their words on people that didn't matter. Unlike their other father, Naruto, who felt the need to talk to anyone at any time.
Sasuke had also gotten it in his head that he should teach their children how to speak. With Naruto their first words and all subsequent words after would vary between ramen and believe it. He had seen Shikamaru and Kiba's children. The only two words they ever spoke were dog and party.
One day Sasuke sat Kushina down on the counter and looked at her straight in the eye. "Da Da" he repeated pronouncing each syllable. He stared at her. Kushina stared back. "Da Da" he tried again.
More staring. Sasuke took a deep breath in. "Da Da" he said. Kushina didn't even blink.
Kushina made a gurgle noise and a deep concentrated face.
"Ramen."