Chapter 7: Fight
Mario and Luigi flung Bowser to the ground, returning his over-the-shoulder death glare as they slammed the cell door behind him. Luigi hung the sword belt they had pulled off the false ambassador on the wall, and without a word, he and his brother disappeared back up the stairs.
"Are you okay?" asked Kamek, peering through the bars from the next cell over.
"Yeah," said Bowser, getting to his feet and dusting himself off. "They got you too, huh?"
"We let them get us," explained Kammy. "We knew they'd bring you down sooner or later and then we'd get out of here together."
"Sure you did," said Bowser skeptically. For two weeks, Kammy and Kamek had been warning him about how he was far more fragile as a human – even with their remaining magical skills, surely they were more conscious of their mortality too, and just as Mario's firebrand had given Bowser pause, whatever threat they or the Toad guards had presented the ex-Magikoopas with probably quelled their fighting spirits a bit too.
"Hey, you're here now, aren't you, Your Disbelievingness?" frowned Kammy. "Fortunately they put us in the aboveground cells, so all we need to do is blast down the wall and make a break for the Warp Pipes. We've already sent word back home for them to send some ships and meet us at the-"
"No," said Bowser.
The old folks blinked in confusion. "Excuse me, what?" stammered Kamek.
"I'm not leaving – not until I talk to Peach."
"Your Persistentness, as silver as your human tongue may be, I don't think you'll be able to talk yourself out of this one."
"I'm not going to try and talk us out of this," said Bowser, turning away from his advisors and looking towards the stairwell. "I'm going to tell her the truth."
"What?!" gasped the other two in alarm.
"Are you crazy?" hissed Kamek. "Remember what we talked about before? If they find out who you are, they'll kill you!"
"Peach wouldn't do that," snapped Bowser, glaring at Kammy and Kamek.
"But Mario-"
"She won't let him kill me either," insisted Bowser.
"You can't know that for sure," argued Kamek.
"Yes I can," said Bowser quietly, a faraway look clouding his eyes as his face softened. "She loves me… She said so herself: she loves me!"
"Was this before or after she found out you've been lying to her for the past two weeks?" hissed Kamek.
Bowser narrowed his eyes and scowled. Even though Peach had said she never wanted to see Bowser again, he knew it was just the raw pain and shock talking: once she had some time to cool off, she'd come to him. "If nothing else, they'll want info and I'm not talking to anyone but her. Not that it'll come to that anyway – just wait, you'll see. And in the meantime, I'm not going anywhere, so make yourselves comfy in there and shut up. I'm not talking to you either."
With a final glare, Bowser turned and walked to the back wall of his cell and slid to the ground under the window. He drew his legs up against his chest and wrapped his arms around them; now that he was in complete shadow, he let his frown deepen. He was sure that Peach would come to him – his plan had worked perfectly, but he didn't feel triumphant at all – and it wasn't just because he had been thrown behind bars at the very moment of victory. It was because of the look on Peach's face. He had made her cry plenty of times, in fear and rage, and while he always wished his kidnappings didn't upset her so much, it never really bothered him enough to consider stopping. As far as he was concerned, the onus was on her to just give in and learn to love him. And she had. And that was the problem – that was why it was different. The sadness in her eyes, the pain he never wanted to cause her.
She had fallen in love with him… and he had broken her heart.
Now both of them wallowed in misery, Bowser in the dungeons and Peach in her room, staring forlornly out at the starry sky and barely even stirring when Daisy threw the door open.
"Alright, where is he? I'll kick his tight little ass so hard, he's gonna fly all the way back to the Waffle Kingdom!"
"He's in the dungeon," said Peach, still facing the window. "And he's not from the Waffle Kingdom, remember?"
The rage melted off Daisy's face as she walked over to her friend. She had come as soon as she heard the news about the 'ambassador', despite the protests of the Sarasaland Royal Council. She knew her friend needed her, and even though she had already been filled in on most of the details by the Mario Bros. as they escorted her from the Warp Pipe junction to Peach's bedroom, she had hoped putting on a little show of rage might cheer her friend up somehow. Clearly that wasn't happening, so instead she sat down beside the other princess and pulled her into a hug. "Oh Peach… I'm so sorry."
Peach returned the comforting embrace, forcing herself not to cry. She had already cried so much that night. "I just can't believe he lied to me. I really thought-"
"Hey, we all thought he was a good guy," said Daisy. "Don't beat yourself up about it: we all fell for his lies."
"Yeah, but you didn't fall for him," said Peach glumly, pulling back.
"Everyone falls for the wrong guy at some point in their life," reasoned Daisy.
"Still, that doesn't make it hurt any less."
Daisy grimaced sympathetically and gave Peach another hug while Mario and Luigi tentatively entered the room behind the girls. Peach hadn't spoken to anyone after the initial excitement about the deception, but with Daisy having broken the ice, they decided to try their luck. Peach looked over to them and smiled sadly. "Have the Toad mages had any luck breaking the hypnosis?"
The Bros. shook their heads.
"Do they know who even hypnotized them? It couldn't have been a Shy Guy, could it?" pondered Daisy.
"I've never heard of a Shy Guy with that sort of magic," frowned Peach.
"D'you think it was Whip? Or… whatever his name is?"
"The mages say the-a hypnosis is recent," interjected Luigi.
"Makes sense – spells don't last that long, so they'd need re-dosing. So it couldn't have been Whip – he hasn't been to the ship since they arrived… But Fang and Bat have!" Peach leapt to her feet. "They were even there yesterday!"
"They're-a mages!" exclaimed Mario.
"And we-a just put them in regular cells!" yelped Luigi.
"They could escape at any minute! Hurry, tell the guards – we need to move them to the subterranean-" But Peach never got a chance to finish her sentence as her bedroom windows shattered and a whirlwind of black smoke and magic filled the air.
"AAAAHHHHH!" screamed the foursome as they were sucked into the air and tossed around by the tornado, losing all sense of up and down as the foreign energy ripped through their bodies. Then as soon as it started, it was over and the humans found themselves abruptly dumped in a heap on the roof of Mushroom Castle.
"Wa ha ha ha ha ha!" an eerily familiar voice filled the air around them, and they turned to find King Wart himself standing over them, the sky behind him becoming filled with unnatural storm clouds and opening doors to Subcon.
"No!" gasped Peach, pushing herself to her feet and backing away in horror, but even more alarming was the fact that Mario, Luigi and Daisy all remained where they lay.
"Can't… Move…" grunted Daisy, finding herself too weak to even push herself into a sitting position. Mario and Luigi were in the same boat.
"Wa ha ha ha! If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself! That's my curse you're feeling – at full force. Nice, isn't it? It sucks away all your energy – leaves you powerless against me!"
Peach shook her head defiantly. "Clearly you still have to work on it some more, because I am far from powerless."
Wart's smile was icy. "That's because the curse only works once – and you were exposed to it already."
Peach's eyes widened with comprehension. "Mouser's gun…"
"Yes. Its performance fell far shorter than I had hoped, but rest assured, my new weapon is much better." Wart gestured behind him, and the humans looked up to see a flock of Albatosses lowering a massive device onto the top of the central tower of the castle, having already blasted away the flagpole with, presumably, a Bob-Omb. It looked remarkably like the Nightmare Machine that Wart had once stolen and used to attack Subcon, but rather than vegetables, clouds of purple smoke crackling with sinister blue magic were pouring out of the device's funnels.
Peach glared at Wart. "Whatever you're planning, we will stop you!"
"Hah! Don't make me laugh. Mario and Luigi are powerless, and my troops outnumber your pitiful Toads a hundred to one – no one is coming to help you this time, princess." Indeed, the air was filled with enemies from Subcon, from the flying forces, to the Shy Guys and their kin, to the savage land animals allied with Wart. Peach could even make out a few Birdos storming the Toads on the ground, as well as Fry Guy and Clawgrip leading the charge.
"Then I'll have to stop you myself!" shouted Peach.
"WAH HA HA HAAAA!" boomed Wart. "Foolish princess, I know you're bluffing. You may not have gotten the full force of my curse, but it was enough to ensure you're no match for me. No healing or power augmentation items for you, hmm? You don't stand a chance – once I activate that device and sap the strength of all who would oppose me, your kingdom will fall to the great Wart, and the rest of the world will follow soon after! Wah ha ha ha!"
"Not if I have anything to say about it!" challenged Peach, pulling out her frying pan, only to have it promptly knocked from her hand by a blast of bubbles from the frog king.
"Like I said, you don't stand a chance," said Wart, now advancing on Peach. She tried to back away, but soon found herself up against the edge of the roof as Wart got closer and closer. "Still, I don't want to have you around trying to stop me – it's annoying. Like a little fly. You know what I do with flies, little girl?" Wart reached a webbed hand towards the trembling princess.
"GET AWAY FROM HER!"
Wart and Peach turned just as Bowser pulled himself onto the roof, his teeth bared and his eyes flashing as brightly as the magical lightning in the sky behind him.
"Whip!" cried Peach.
"YOU!?" snarled Wart, wheeling around in disbelief. "You're the naked ambassador?"
"Gwa ha ha! Didn't expect to find me here, did you?" sneered Bowser. "What, did you think I was just gonna hide away in my castle after what you did to me?"
"That's what the rumours said…"
"Ha! You should have done your research. Then you would have known that I'd leap at a chance like this to get close to my beloved Peach!"
The princess blinked in confusion. Wart and Whip knew each other? Was he a rebel underling? But he spoke as if he knew her from before the whole ambassador charade, and what did he mean about "new form"? Who was he? Peach wracked her brain for people who had crushes on her, who had castles and who could have had a run-in with Wart. Only one name came to mind, but she pushed it away. It couldn't be him. Surely not him.
"Bwa ha ha! But I guess I should thank you for cursing me," continued Bowser. "These past couple weeks have been a great little vacation, and I couldn't have asked for better company…" his eyes flicked to Peach momentarily before he glared at Wart anew. "But the best part is definitely this one. Because now it's up to me to stop you, save the world and rescue Princess Peach!" Bowser threw his head back and laughed, shouting at the top of his voice as he continued he speech. "YES! Now will be my moment of victory! No more getting ground down, no more being laughed at, no more sharing the spotlight with plumbers and stars and peasants! When people ask who defeated Wart, it'll be MY name and MY name alone they'll speak of: this day will be forever remembered as the day Wart dies at the hands of KING BOWSER KOOPAAAAAAAAA!"
As he screamed his name, Bowser reached to his side, unsheathed his sword and charged towards Wart. Surprised and bemused by the new development, Wart used his froggy legs to hop out of harm's way. Peach stared in shock as Bowser skidded to a halt only a few steps away from her. "Bowser…" she whispered.
"Surprised?" he grinned at her, before turning and lunging after Wart again.
Yes, she was surprised, but thinking back, she shouldn't have been. It was all so obvious – the grin, the firebreath, the raging ego, the shameless nudity, the skin tone, the hair, the eyes, the look. Bowser had been looking at her that way for years, but she had always written it off as some twisted crush – some shallow love, and nothing more.
"Peach!" called Bowser as he parried away a barrage of bubbles. "I want you to know what happened – you see, King Ugly here asked me to help him take over the world, and when I refused, he used that curse of his to strip me of all my awesome Koopa powers." Bowser paused as Wart came in close, drawing his own sword from his hammerspace and swiping at the ex-Koopa. The clang of metal filled the air as Bowser defended himself, eventually managing to knock Wart back enough to turn and scamper out of range.
"That's when I got my idea to pretend I was the Waffle ambassador, he continued. "I knew you'd never let me hang out, even if I was a human, so I needed another identity, just for a little while."
"But why…" she breathed.
Wart was attacking again, but this time Bowser continued to speak even as the swords flashed. "I needed to show you that we were meant to be together! As a Koopa, you never gave me the time of day, but like this?" Once again breaking away from Wart, Bowser bounded away across the roof, looking over at Peach as he went. "I wanted to tell you sooner. All day, I was planning what I would say. But then Mario threw me in jail and that kinda screwed over those plans, but yeah, better late than never!"
Peach stared at him in disbelief. If she had any doubts that 'Whip' was actually Bowser, his delusional little tale would certainly have put them to rest. She didn't even know how to respond to what she had heard, and simply watched as the frog and the former Dragon-Koopa had another brief skirmish. This time, when Bowser broke off, Wart gave chase immediately, forcing his target to duck and weave as they ran the length of the section of roof they were on. Unlike the story, Bowser's fighting style definitely wasn't his usual technique: he was one for the direct approach, not scurrying around like a rabbit, and he longer the fight dragged on, the more perplexed Peach became.
Eventually, Wart broke off the chase and laughed. "Wah ha ha! You're pretty fast, aren't you? I should have made you old and fat."
"And ugly," added Bowser, winking at Peach.
"Now that can still be arranged – if you just hold still for a moment," said Wart threateningly, pointing his sword at Bowser.
"No thanks – I like my face just the way it is. Unless you're offering to turn me back into a Dragon-Koopa…"
"Yeah right," sorted Wart. "Anyway, as fun as chasing you around like a little feeder mouse has been, I'm afraid I'll have to cut this short. I have a world to conquer – you understand. Or maybe you don't, seeing as you've never actually managed it, have you?"
Bowser chuckled, sneering smugly at Wart. "You're one to talk – you couldn't even conquer a dream world. And you're not conquering this world either. Not while I'm here to stop you."
"Oh yeah? You and what army?"
Bowser rolled his eyes. "Oh, I dunno, maybe my army, you idiot! I may not look the part, but I'm still the King of the Koopas, y'know!"
"Yeah? Fat lot of good that'll do you way over here in the Mushroom Kingdom."
Bowser's smirk widened. "Again, you clearly haven't done your research. Or paid attention to recent air traffic, for that matter – you see, when we were exposed as fakes, Kammy and Kamek panicked and asked Dark Land to send some ships to wait for us over in that little volcanic patch of Sky Land, y'know? Much closer. Care to venture a guess at how long it takes an airship to get from here to there?"
Wart narrowed his eyes suspiciously – he didn't like where Bowser was going with this.
Catching sight of the look on Wart's face, Bowser laughed. "About fifteen minutes. And guess how long we've been fighting?"
The answer came in the form of a massive explosion as a Banzai Bill smashed into Wart's Nightmare Machine. The frog king turned around in horror as a Koopa airship burst out of the magic clouds overhead, soon followed by more all over the sky above Toad Town.
"Gwa ha ha! That's right! Fifteen minutes! Guess Tryclyde forgot to mention that I'm a master of distraction – even with my clothes on!"
"You planned this all along!" snarled Wart, rounding on Bowser.
"Duh!" said Bowser, rolling his eyes again. As soon as he, Kamek and Kammy saw the flashes of Wart's showy lightning storm through the window, Bowser had them burst the cell doors open – he knew the vile frog would be going after Peach first, and he wasn't going to let that happen. But he wasn't so foolhardy as to think he could do it single-handedly, and as he threw on his sword belt, he told them to contact the crystal ball users on the airships and tell them to get a move on. He knew that by the time he had sprinted to the top floor from the dungeons, found a good window and crawled onto the roof, his birds would be in the air, and then he just needed to keep Wart busy long enough for them to get to the castle. His plans were always far from perfect, but one thing Bowser did do well was timing.
"King Wart!" It was Clawgrip, flying up on the back of a Pidgit carpet. "What's going on? There's Koopas everywhere, and the weapon – it's destroyed!"
"You don't think I KNOW THAT ALREADY?!" bellowed Wart, livid with rage. He had custom built the new Nightmare Machine as the means to dissipate his curse over long distances, and without it, conquering the world would have been much more difficult. But not impossible – not if that had been all Bowser had done. But no, as Wart watched the Koopa Troop descend upon his 8 Bits, he realized there was no hope of winning the war. Not this time. But he wasn't done yet. There was still one thing he could do: kill the bastard who stole his victory. "Tell the troops to keep fighting – hold the Koopas off as long as you can and make sure no one gets onto this roof. This is my fight."
Bowser smirked as Clawgrip flew away. "Final Battle time is it? Nice to see another boss who appreciates the eloquence of one-on-one showdowns."
"I just don't want to run the risk of someone else killing you – I want to watch the spark go out of those perky little eyes of yours when I crush you like a toothpick! Grr…RRRRAAAAHHHH!" Wart charged across the roof in a blind fury, but Bowser was ready for him and pulled a Fire Flower out of his hammerspace, biting off the petals and sending a cascade of fireballs to meet the frog. But Wart meant business this time and blasted them all away with a wave of bubbles. Bowser leapt backwards, but not fast enough, and Wart's sword hit home, slicing through the skin on Bowser's forehead.
The Koopa King tucked into a roll as his fire powers blinked out, but Wart was on his heels. There would be no running about this time, and Peach watched in horror as the two villains savagely went at each other, fire, magic, bubbles and blood flying everywhere as kicks, punches and even clawed scratches were exchanged, and the swords sang. Bowser managed to land a decent number of hits, but despite the respectable number of Fire Flowers he kept pulling out of his hammerspace, he was clearly losing the fight. Many times, Wart sent him flying with a well-aimed kick of his frog's legs or a blast of magic or bubbles, and it was a wonder Bowser hadn't lost any digits or even limbs as he bled from numerous deep sword-inflicted wounds. After an unexpected reaction between a fireball from Bowser and a spell form Wart sent both of them tumbling across the roof, Peach couldn't let herself sit back anymore and ran up to Bowser as he pushed himself up onto his knees.
"Bowser! You have to stop this!" she cried, staring down as he shuddered with pain, trying to recuperate while Wart struggled to pull himself back onto the roof, having been blown right over the edge.
"No," responded the stubborn Koopa King. "I mean, sure that was the last Fire Flower I swiped from the guard post, but I've got him on the ropes, I can feel it."
"You can't be serious!" said Peach exasperatedly, dropping to her own hands and knees in front of Bowser, although he kept his head bowed, so even then, she couldn't see his face. "You said so yourself – he took your powers! Maybe as a Dragon-Koopa you could beat him-"
"'Maybe'?" Bowser looked up at that, glaring at Peach, his face dark with blood from the massive gash running just below his hairline.
"Okay, fine, as a Koopa you could beat him, but not when you're like this. I mean, look at you! You're covered in blood, and Wart's barely scratched. He has magic and size and just raw power on his side."
"So do I when I fight Mario, but he always wins," said Bowser, his voice tinged with bitterness. "You don't think I could pull it off too? Your support is heartwarming."
Peach rolled her eyes exasperatedly, but she knew better than to use 'You're not Mario' as a retort. "One of us has to be realistic," she said, before changing tactics and frowning with genuine concern, reaching forward and placing her hand over the Koopa King's. "Bowser, if you keep fighting Wart, he's going to kill you. You can't let that happen – what about your kids? They need you to come home, don't they?"
Bowser looked at their connected hands, but then averted his eyes entirely as he spoke. "They'll survive, but I won't – not if I turn tail and run before I see this through. If I don't stop him, he'll kill you. And I couldn't live with myself if I let that happen."
"But why?"
"You know why," said Bowser, looking Peach in the eye once again, but now the fiery gaze was different. It was just Bowser – that was just what he looked like. Wasn't it? Something still stirred inside Peach when she looked into his burning eyes, and although she tried, she couldn't deny her sunset epiphany. Whip or Bowser, the man behind those red eyes loved her.
Surprisingly, it was Bowser who looked away first, turning his head to check to make sure Wart was still struggling to get back onto the roof. Peach followed his gaze, and was unprepared when Bowser suddenly turned back to her, leaned forward and planted his lips on hers before she could pull back.
Peach's eyes widened in shock at the sensation, and although she knew she should be revolted by the fact that Bowser was kissing her, she wasn't. More than that – she liked it. She couldn't help herself, she didn't know what had come over her, but rather than recoiling or pushing him away, all she could do was return the kiss, mirroring the shape of his lips with her own as she tilted her head, letting her eyelids drop as all feeling was lost in her electrified extremities and the world spun around her.
Bowser's eyes were closed too, but he didn't lose himself in the kiss so much that he missed the vibrations of Wart's footsteps as the monstrous frog finally heaved himself back over the edge and made a beeline for the seemingly distracted humans. Although he wished the kiss could last forever, Bowser knew the time was up and pulled away. "Wish me luck!" he winked at the flushed and blinking Peach, before turning and diving for his sword, gripping it just in time to block Wart's first volley of attacks. As Bowser led the melee with Wart further away from her, Peach shakily got to her feet, looking over at Mario, Luigi and Daisy, who were all staring at her with their mouths open. She almost wished they hadn't actually recovered enough energy to push their upper bodies up and look around – she could have done without the audience, and blushing fiercely, she turned and focused all her attention on the battle.
As she feared, Bowser was not faring well. Without the edge given to him by the Fire Flowers, he wasn't dealing nearly as much damage to Wart, and without the energy boosts they provided to him, he was visibly starting to wear down. Peach admonished herself for not having any power-ups to give him, having stopped carrying them after being cursed, as simply being in her hammerspace degraded their energies. Still, it was just as well that she didn't have anything to give, as that made her less of a target, but after catching sight of her locking lips with his hated adversary, Wart had already decided to somehow exploit that Achilles' heel of Bowser's – he just had to wait for the perfect time to break it out.
And he didn't have to wait long, as a nasty blast of nightmare magic sent the human-form Koopa flying into the crumbling tower wall below the wreckage of Wart's machine. "Bowser!" cried Peach as he landed in a heap with the rubble and didn't move, but as she ran to help him, Wart sprang into her path, gripping her wrist and leering.
"Ooh, what do we have here? The little Mushroom Princess loves the big bad Koopa King, does she? My my, that is precious, isn't it? You must be devastated to see him doing such a shit job at fighting me, hmmm? I know I'm getting bored of it. Maybe if I snap your pretty little neck it'll get him fired up again?"
Bad move.
"RAAAAHHHHH!" screamed Bowser, sailing through the air like a veritable Mario Bro. and landing on Wart's back, wild with fury as he hacked at the bewildered frog with his sword.
Wart howled in pain and released Peach, staggering backwards towards the tower as he tried to knock Bowser off with hand or sword as the Koopa King stabbed him again and again. Had the monstrous amphibian's skin not been thick with warts, he would have been dead meat fairly quickly, but to Bowser's frustration, as hard as he tried, the sword would not sink deeply enough to kill his adversary. Roaring with his own rage, Wart suddenly leapt backwards, slamming his human assailant into the tower. It was all Bowser could do to keep from screaming as ribs broke and organs bled, but gritting his teeth against the eruption of pain as the wall itself cracked behind him, he reached forward with the sword and sliced it clean across Wart's throat just as the tower collapsed around them.
"NOOO!" cried Peach as Bowser and Wart disappeared in a cloud of dust and rubble. She could feel her heart beating painfully in her chest as she stared through the haze in desperation, and almost sobbed with relief when Bowser limped into view.
Most of the rubble actually landed in front of him, on Wart, and all he had to do was pick his way out. He was in bad shape, however – that last move of Wart's had done some internal damage, not to mention the numerous deep slashes, bruises and magical burns he had already sustained. Still, he was alive and that was more than could be said for Wart. The bloodied frog lay amidst the rubble, but it looked to Bowser like the slit throat had been what done him in. He smiled grimly and turned to make his way over to Peach, oblivious as Wart's eyes flew open behind him. For as much as he liked to advocate the need for researching one's foes, he had forgotten one key point about King Wart.
Frogs breathe through their skin.
Peach screamed a warning as the dark shadow raised up over the rubble, but Bowser didn't even have time to turn his head before Wart came bursting out of the dust cloud and ran him clean through with his sword.