Chapter 6 - Merry Christmas

A/N Well… from here on now the true action should start as Carver is finally coming in to the picture.

There is a reason people can't wait for Christmas, and that has nothing to do with family or that Santa looking chocolate, or the unexpected partner you find under the mistletoe, or with the presents, the gifts might be important for the kids but that doesn't count now… Everybody loves Christmas because it is a time for miracles and if humanity ever needed a miracle that would be now.

"The angel looks lovely, Clementine!"

"She looks so cool!"

"Beautiful. I used to love this time of year. You know, now that your friends are here, this place is starting to feel like a real home." The girls kept on chatting but Adeline grew bored quite quickly, they weren't about to settle here so these trivial information were just useless and in the future might turn up to bad memories so she went on one of the couches in front of the fire. Lying down on the soft material she simply got lost in her thoughts until the sweet touch of her eye lids took her to dreamland in a wonderful nap.

The sweet song echoing through those halls almost made that place seemed like a little part stolen from that world and thrown in to Heaven. The girls were humming some Christmas Carol, Walter was enjoying his time with Kenny simply preparing the meal, Luke and Nick were finally having their talk and even Carlos joined his daughter in decorating the place. Maybe the Christmas spirit was real somehow? Even though it wasn't the time nor the season, the state of mind was there… peace and quiet…

The small flame was crackling in the fireplace, emanating just enough light to warm up the place. Its hot touch was like a caress on Adeline's bruised skin, a smile formed on her lips. She had no idea Luke just sat next to her sleeping form, but he wasn't doing anything, he was simply staring at the fire dancing in front of him. He leaned his elbow by the side of the couch and his chin rested in to his palm.

"You ok man?" Nick sat on the sofa next to them.

"Yeah… I'm just… I wish I hadn't pulled that trigger."

"Just try to forget about it…"

"Yeah…

"Come on man… try to cheer up a bit."

"Cheer up?"

"Yeah… The others are starting to worry about you."

"So what?"

"Nick… you... " Before the conversation could go anywhere else Adeline, still sleeping, started shifting until she grabbed Luke's leg and pulled herself in his lap. The poor guy simply raised his hands as if in surrender and watched as she found her place on his legs. Her head snuggled in to his muscle torso grabbing with both of her hands on to the hem of his shirt like a little child. Even Nick smiled at the whole image.

"If you stay in that position you might get what I got when she wakes up." His hand pointing out at the nice little bruise on his cheek.

"She grabbed on to me!"

"Well… a few years ago you'd pray to God for something like this to happen."

"Yeah… not how I imagined it, though."

"What happened between you two? I've been trying to find out for days!"

"I don't know, man… she simply came to me and we kind of... had sex"

"Kind of fucked?"

"Yeah… kind of… and in the next morning I simply try to kiss her and she gives me this hurt look and says 'no strings attached'. Fuck if I know what that meant at the moments… it seemed it was translated as a one nightstand."

"Oh... men... even in the apocalypse women are just women."

"The first smart thing you said in months, Nick." They kept on talking until Walter called everyone to dinner that is when Luke had to find some way to either wake Adeline up or escape her grip. After a few attempts in which he realized he couldn't get her to free him he had to wake her up. After moving away some of her wayward strands of hair from her forehead he finally spoke.

"Hey… Adeline… Del… wake up." He earned a few grumblings from her so he started to shake her shoulder gently for a little until the girl just raised and stranded herself around his shoulder.

"Tom... just a little while… I am so tired… so God damn tired." And now he heard Tom's name again… and being so attached to him and dreaming of this guy could only mean that she was much closer to him than just a survival buddy. Somehow the pieces were starting to fit.

"Sugar… I'm no Tom. It's Luke… wake up… dinner is ready." Her eyes widen in shock as the haze of sleep slipped from her gaze.

"I am sorry Luke… I don't know what gotten in to me." Her cheeks were fiery red and she just couldn't look the man in his eyes, she simply jumped in the furthest corner of the couch with her hands wrapped in her lap.

"No problem… dinner is ready… let's go eat." His hand as if summoned grabbed a long curl from her raven hair and pushed it behind her ear. "Let's go."

Dinner was awkward in especially because Clementine went to Kenny's table which kind of brought Luke down, his disappointment present all over his features. In the end the group talked about the lights Adeline saw. After some debate and hard facts they, halfheartedly, decided to leave in the morning. As the conversation continued Luke and Nick went to the other table around Clementine. Somewhere deep inside Adeline felt a bit jealous until she realized that this feeling was directed to a little 11 years old girl and it was simply putting stupid… still she couldn't hold it in so after eating she simply went in front of the fire to find warmth. She stayed there for quite a while until slowly her eyes started surveying the place. Christmas lights, a duck, fireplace, some chairs, a nice carpet, a little table, a photo with the guy that Nick killed and Walter… fuck! She jumped so suddenly that she almost fell back on to the ground. Almost crawling her way to the little picture on that little table she freaked out completely. Her feet quickly led her to Luke who was still trying to savor his bowl of peaches and beans.

"Luke… we have to talk… it is urgent!"

"What could be so urgent?!" She practically stuffed the small frame in to his face but when he saw it he almost choked with his food.

"Dammit!"

"We are fucked!"

"Dammit Nick! We have to tell Clementine!"

"She's 11 what can she do about this?!"

"She knows these people or at least she knows Kenny… she could have a clue on how they will react."

"Fine… tell her."

And so everything fell apart and the chaos began. A bad thing after the other the domino pieces were falling one by one, firstly Walter already knew, secondly the walkers came and then Adeline with Luke were watching from their cover in the woods as Carver's group started to raid the place.

"Fuck! No!"

Family. There is nothing more important sometimes. They are the ones that get you out of troubles, the ones that might be the pillars of your whole life… so Adeline wasn't going to let this one just go… just like that because a maniac said so.

"We have to go and help them."

"What? Are you nuts?"

"We can't just abandon them, Luke!"

"We are not, but we'll surely as hell going to be much more useful from the side ways."

"Luke!"

"You don't know Carver, fuck, you can't imagine what that man is capable of!"

"I don't care!"

"Del… please… trust me! What you gonna do anyway? Who is the big hero now?!"

"I don't know…"

"Exactly. We'll stay behind and make a plan… that is our only option!"

"I hate it when you're right."

Soon their friends were tied up and thrown into a truck.

"How are we going to follow that thing?!"

"I don't know… we'll have to improvise."

"Luke…"

"I don't care how but we will follow that thing… also I know where their camp is. I theoretically knew where they are heading."

"Theoretically?"

"I already told you to trust me… so trust me."

"Fine… I am all yours."

"It's going to be a tough way… like a few days or so… and we won't be ready to catch much sleep… So if you really want to help me… I won't judge you if you don't…"

"What are you implying, Luke?"

"You know… if you want to leave or something."

"Luke…"

"I don't know… I just said…"

"Then shut up next time."

"Ok… thx then."

"Let's go you big dummy."

And so both of them ran after the truck tracks. The easiest were the first steps, but when tiredness caught up with them, that is when this entire ordeal started to show up. In a few days they reached a city. What was worse was the fact that they were deprived of sleep and starving so yeah… the best way to face Carver was not right now.

Adeline was snoozing on her watch. Luke found her like that, sitting on the ground, hugging her bow as her head stayed between her knees. He knew they were at their limit, but this wasn't supposed to be easy so they just have to keep on going.

This is what I learned from Luke in that week. Failure is inevitable; even so never let it take the best of you. Failure is not meant to have the last word, you have to hold on to that last grain of hope with everything you have. Never give in, never give up. Stand up and face the truth.

"Del… Deli?"

"I told you not to call me that. It's annoying."

"I know… but I am too tired to call you Adeline… and Deli is nicer."

"Gosh… something happened while I was out?"

"No. Don't worry."

"I'm so sorry. I didn't realize I fell asleep."

"Don't worry about it… we just..." Luke was just as spent as her… as his eye lids were closing the girl knew he needed rest more than her.

"Dammit Luke… sleep." His eyes opened again.

"No I can't… we have… to help the others. Help each other… let's keep going."

"We'll fall asleep walking."

"Then we have to keep each other awake…"

"And how do you intend to do that."

"I can see talking does the trick just well."

"I guess so… Talk about what?"

"I don't know… You could talk about yourself."

"You are really desperate in finding out my history, huh?"

"Ehh… not really, not anymore… I was… but then i got that each one of us has its own closet skeletons."

In that moment maybe I was just too tired but I just started talking to him. I could barely see in front of me, my legs weren't under my body anymore and my head kept bumping in to my chest from time to time but I told Luke almost everything about me. I guess history is just bound to repeat itself otherwise why would it resurface time, after time, after time?

"Then Tom took me with him. I was a mess, you can imagine… worse than n-now."

"Hey… wake up… You are just getting to the important part."

"I am sorry *yawn* where was I?"

"This Tom just took you with him."

"Yeah… Tom. We then found a small group of people, neighbors and acquaintances… we were doing fine in a huge mall we had in the city until a fucking ambulance entered right through the front doors with its horns screaming for dinner time. Later I and Tom found these bandits that actually wanted us dead… anyhow… from that just a few from the group survived and so we were on the roads again with nothing on us. As the days passed the others passed as well… one by one, either suicide, bitten, eaten, shot, quite irrelevant."

"What happened to Tom? He seems the important thing in your story."

"I remained with him alone. As useless as I was he taught me what he knew and as if his sole purpose on this planet was to teach me he... he died soon enough."

"I… I am sorry."

"And it was this useless death… The lurkers, an entire horde was after us and we managed to enter in some kind of a football field which had these really tall gates and a shower cabin. Tom helped me on to the cabin but I just couldn't get to him…" Even though she was talking more or less conscious she felt as if she was reliving the moments because as she spoke tears began rolling down her cheek and she only spoke between sobs and deep breaths. Luke grabbed Adeline in a tight hug letting her bury her head in to his chest. Some of our wounds, we carry them everywhere… and though the cuts are long gone, the pain still lingers… the pain from that day still lingered. "As the things got to him he offered me his backpack and knife and screamed: 'Don't forget the promise, A. Keep on, for me! I… I love you!" Her fingers grabbed the torn fabric of Luke's shirt as she tried to calm herself.

"I am sorry… I shouldn't have asked."

"Then he came back as one of them… I stayed on that fucking roof for a week begging my fingers to kill him… he soon left, limped somewhere else." She couldn't' tell him how she watched the poor man scream in pain as those things started eating him, how the lurkers grabbed and shredded at his flesh, how their teeth pulled and chewed his muscles, his screams of pain after what seemed like hours simply stooping abruptly, she couldn't tell him how Tom's dead eyes were always looking at her accusatory with their fish like glare… she couldn't tell him how she blamed herself for the man's death and final mutilation… she couldn't tell him how she followed him for days afterwards simply looking how it preyed on to the weak and how she couldn't save any of his victims just because she couldn't hurt Tom… she just couldn't.

"This is why you helped me with Pete." She nodded in his chest. "And this is why you wanted to bury him?"

"A human being should be allowed to at least say goodbye, bury or put down their loved ones… I couldn't do any of those…"

"Those last words from him were a goodbye."

"No!... That was a confession."

"If I was in his place I would have done the same. What he did was a goodbye." What's worse? New wounds, which are so horribly painful or old wounds which never heal? That is what I asked myself… Why would he say that he would try to bring the same pain to me as Tom did?! Why would he say he'd leave me all alone in a world like this? Adeline simply pulled away from his embrace; her tears cleaning the dust on her face in a straight line were still coursing, her moist red eyes eyeing the man with fierce anger.

"Why would you?"

"If it meant saving your live why wouldn't I?"

"This is what I spoke about… this thing growing between the two of us it is dangerous and consuming."

"Thing? Lovey- dovey?"

"Yes… lovey-dovey... it already made you blind…."

"No… I'm no blind man."

Our lives are brief. So why are we left on this world? Why does God offer us the breath of life? I'd like to believe it is because we need to find meaning from this pathetic line of pain and wounds. We must find a way to fight through, because life can't be outrun and neither can pain… the sick fact is that those two are in a tight connection… life always breeds more pain… so we must find meaning from all of this we have to endure. Some can find it through family, or in the warmth of their friends, some search it through control and cruelty… they finding it from the feeling of superiority and some simply aren't smart enough to even look for it so they find it through ignorance. Then, there are those who make their life meaningful by making a great sacrifice… to the humanity, some country, group or even their own believes… or by saving the life of the one they cherish the most. I never understood that… I never got why Tom never fought for his life… he was simply clinging to mine, he was simply content with the fact that I kept on going… he…he…

As Adeline simply stared at Luke it started raining. All of the sudden the sky cracked releasing torrents of small drops of water. Drenched to the bones Luke took the girl once again in his arms and slowly pushed her in to a small pharmacy right next to them. The place wasn't the most secure but it would keep them away from the rain.

Sitting between two shelves he found a small blanket which he strapped it around Adeline's frail shoulders. Pain... You can only hope it goes away on its own. Hope that the wound that caused it heals. There are no solutions. No easy answers, no easy way out. You just breathe deep and wait for it to subside. And that is what Adeline did until finally whispering a 'Thank you!'

"No problem."

"No… I really mean it…for everything," Her lips came on to his cheek and they lingered there until his lips came to hers.

"I guess we are just two puppets now." That kiss they shared drenched in a ruin of a pharmacy was like a first kiss… or it felt like one anyway. Kisses are often such an overrated act from a 'lover'. The truth is that not the act itself is meaningful, no! If people would pay more attention they'd realize just how important a kiss can be, how much energy it can convey and how many emotions it can create. A kiss which was only meant to excite is empty, just an exchange of saliva as some would say… but what they shared there it was something true, something filled to burst with promise… promise of happiness.

In that night I realized that if it was for me to die… at least I was going to die together with Luke… with no remorse of breaking that promise.

Happiness? Huh? We are all spending our lives hunting for it when most of the times she's just a bitch exposing herself right in front of us but you wouldn't see her curvy forms because of her pathetic and disappointing state… so many deny it. They deny its frivol touch and they hate its inadequate way of simply pushing herself on to them… yet I realized that this whore was right in front of my eyes and it wasn't so bad to accept her embrace.

Drops of rain were still dripping from their wet hair on to their soft, heated skin some of them even reaching their lips as they parted for each other. Her hands kept his face at close reach and his hands crushed her back as they explored… They both needed this… this pure and honest moment… a true pact between the two…. To get tangled between the strings their fate will twist. Even as tired as they were and as starving as they felt it didn't matter, all they wanted was to sink in to each other. Somehow this road brought them together back from the pit they fell because of Adeline's own selfishness and pride. Finally they took a breath and simply stared in to each other's eyes as they panted.

This was the moment that it occurred to me that God worked in mysterious ways, but, perhaps out of boredom, he isn't quite subtle as others believe.

She took an interest in all of his features, his big brown eyes, the messy hair all sticking to his face, all the cuts and bruises tainting his pale skin, all the sharp edges, the unshaved chin and his red moist lips she just had. He looked scruffy… but not in a bad way.

"This is what I wanted?"

"Huh?"

"Back before the ski lodge… you said I didn't know what I want… this is what I want."

Without this tiredness to fog our minds I am sure none of this would had happened. He'd be too absorbed in finding the others and I would have never stepped on to my pride and on to Tom… but all is for the best or worse… Life is messy… Why not make the best of it even with some sacrifices here and there?