Chapter 8 - Trauma

We often learn our most important lessons from our mistakes, even if it is when we open our eyes to life's injustice or when we realize that relationships are not in black and white… they all hit us hard sometimes and in those moments we learn our lesson and try to never do that again… well, right now I might just learn to behave myself because I will pay the ugly cost of challenging authority and I will realize just as small and insignificant I am.

"Luke?! Luke what the fuck are you doing?"

"Stay here… I am just goin' to grab a can or somethin'."

"No! It's just too risky! ARE YOU crazy! Come back here!"

"Shh!"

"Fuck you, Luke! Come back here!"

Adeline simply stared from her corner as the man made his way towards the food supply. He actually got pretty close until Adeline saw Troy turn a corner, but before she could actually do anything the man already raised his gun towards Luke.

"What do we have here?"

"Fuck!"

"Oh… you don't even know. Russell!"

"Yes?!" A boy not older than Adeline came and his eyes widen in shock as he saw Luke.

"You really didn't see this asshole here?"

"Must have slipped me."

"Well. YOU SHIT HEADs SHOULD TRY TO DO A BETTER JOB NEXT TIME! IT'S LIKE I'M THE ONLY ONE ACTUALLY DOIN' SOMETHIN' HERE! Go call Carver… He'd like to see him." But the man was already there as he saw the entire thing from his window at the first floor. Troy, still holding a gun at his head, went behind Luke to give Bill some space.

"So you finally paid us a visit…" Before Luke could actually answer Carver punched him, as the man was weak from this entire week he went down hard on to the floor. Spitting some blood he just tried to get up only to end up again on the ground from a kick in the stomach this time. Adeline was long since out of her cover and as that blow hit Luke she was already on to Carver. With her knife out she could hear her each steps on to the floor tiles. Her hand was trembling but her fingers were tightly clenched on to the handle of the blade as she sunk it in to the man's shoulder. He barely flinched and that might only be because the girl surprised him. She managed to also punch him before Troy intervened. She fell on to Luke before having one nice blow from the butt of their capture's gun right in her right cheek. It hurt like hell but she still kept clenching her teeth as she tried to get back on to her feet but Carver had other ideas. After getting that knife from his shoulder he punched her again and again until the woman stopped squirming, only her gaze keeping its rebellious energy. Luke tried to help her but Troy wasn't going to let him so they both ended up beaten as hell.

"I see you brought your girlfriend as well. You know I just hate surprises, Luke." His fingers grabbed a fist from her hair as he brought her up from the ground. "Still she's such a looker… "He grabbed her chin with his other hand. "You know? Luke… you took something of mine… I might just do the same." The girl spit, more blood than saliva but it's the gesture that counts. "Too bad she doesn't know what manners are… don't worry I'll fix that." Still, fumbling the floor she grabbed her dagger and quickly she cut her long hair being released from Carvers hold. He didn't give her much of a break as he incapacitated her once again with a kick from her knee in to her abdomen.

That is when Luke snapped; desperately trying to get out of Troy's hold he started screaming.

"Don't you dare touch her! Leave her be… she has nothing to do with you and me!" Carver simply laughed. The woman curled in to a ball as everything inside her hurt.

"Troy! Go bring our little friends…"

"On it."

All the others soon appeared and Carver as he always does he kept one of his speeches but with one last defiant act Adeline simply started laughing as she finally managed to break from that fetal position and come up on to her feet.

"How stupid can you be?" She still laughed even though she saw his glare; if looks could kill she'd be dead. The man's fist grabbed her shirt as he pulled her closer to her.

"You are lucky I like you… "He whispered as his fist once again punched her. Throwing her back he raised a radio and continued his little discourse. Soon he ended the little show almost killing Kenny. Lucky to them Bonnie decided to intervene.

"All right, everyone come with me. Bonnie, you stick around. Make sure these folks don't get into anymore trouble. "

"Yeah… okay."

"And no supper for y'all tonight. Maybe an empty stomack'll give you some perspective… then we'll try this again tomorrow…. Ah and the new girl… the one playing with fire… I want to see her in to my office."

"What?! Bill she's already done… can't you…"

"You didn't hear me Bonnie?"

"Will do."

"Good."

Now you must understand what I was talking… about challenging authority. I actually never thought I had it in me but as Luke said… I didn't know what that man was capable of. It is a shocking moment when you realize you are fucked. The moment when you realize just how alone you actually are on to this world. The people we take for granted might not be what we think, the family we loved might take the blow for us but not save us from the after effect. The man we love so deeply perhaps won't be able to help. And then we could end up all by ourselves in the hands of a mad man.

Adeline woke up on a chair with the worse headache she ever had. Getting up she needed to lean for a bit by the desk next to her, her hand came to her abdomen as a shooting burning pain came from there. Raising her shirt she could see a huge bruise forming. Let's hope it is just a bruise. Taking a few steps around she soon spotted Alvin.

„Alvin? Are you... ok?" Trying to make her way towards the man she stumbled over her own feet and fell to the floor where she started coughing. Soon she even threw up a little... some blood and whatever was left in her stomach. „Well... this is not good. Dammit." Breading hard she managed to get back on to her feet only to crash on to one of the walls there. „Alvin... Alvin?" Her voice was so weak she couldn't recognize herself but soon she managed to get to the man. After checking his pulse she realized the man wasn't dead but he was in a much worst state than her.

"Well don't concern yourself with his wellbeing… not with you being in the same position." She didn't hear him entering but judging from the deep scratchy voice no doubt who that was.

"What do you want from me?"

"I am trying to teach you a little discipline."

I already knew what he meant… and it wasn't discipline… maybe just some way to get revenge on Luke or even myself for my disobeying as he'd call it. That was my worst fear even before all the zombie shit.

Adeline sitting on the chair Bill showed her felt numb… like nothing else mattered. Why wasn't she fighting back?… that is because just the thought of what that man will do to her was traumatic enough. Her head became flooded with emotions; it felt as if some circuit in her mind broke and as if the centers of her brain fried out… or maybe she was simply putting too exhausted to fight anymore. The cost of this blown circuit is the lack of emotions everything for her was just like some retarded movie that wouldn't end. She simply allowed the man to undress her, to feel her skin, to bring more pain where the wounds were, he allowed him to do anything to her until in the end as he threw a blanket over her she woke up… the only sign of that fact were the tears that simply started rolling down her skin… no sound, no sobbing, nothing… just her tears simply flowing.

"She said she can get us out of the pen if we can get the PA system going. Second she hears it she'll run over and spring us."

"That's great."

"It's not great."

"What are you talking about?"

Before Luke could answer them Carver brought Adeline back. He simply pushed her on to the ground afterwards throwing her clothes in.

"I have to check on something. They are all yours for tonight Bonnie."

Adeline was simply clutching the blanket she had over her, the tears still not stopping. Luke rushed towards her crashing to his knees.

"Del… Dely. What did he do to you? Talk to me… its Luke."

"What do you think he did to her… he raped her…" Before Mike could continue Nick pulled the man aside.

"Shut up!"

After a few minutes in which Luke simply wanted to get through to Adeline he simply took her up bridal style and took her to one of the beds. There slowly he started dressing her.

"Hey… you hear me?" He pressed his forehead to hers as he took her in to his arms. Her gaze was empty as if she wasn't even there but this little warmth Luke was offering her finally managed to touch her. Finally she escaped a sob so hard that it almost burned in her chest. Her hands grabbed his shoulders as she actually began to cry.

"Hey… hey… all is going to be ok."

"You don't believe that yourself!" He didn't disagree but he simply sat next to her in the bed taking her on to his lap, letting her tears flow and taint his chest. Every sob and cry she made simply enraged him even more… from all the things Carver did this was the last drop. He was stroking her back as he was trying to hold on the trembling in his arms. Soon the girl stopped but her grip on to him simply tightened. He kissed her forehead gently while wiping the tears from her cheeks.

"Better now?" Her answer was a sigh. "Hey… speak to me."

"And what should I say?"

"I don't know… anything to keep your mind off from all of this shit."

"Do you like my new hair?" Luke couldn't hold in a small chuckle.

"I always loved short hair on girls… it gives them a sexier edge."

"I'm glad…" The smile on her lips slowly faded as her head fell in to her chest. His fingers grabbed her chin pulling it up in to a kiss. At first she froze, tangible she was petrified but slowly realizing this was no Carver she melted in to the man's touch which seemed to at least for a bit erase her worries and thoughts. Again the tears sprang but she answered to his kiss. She felt hollow inside as if everything that made her was burned to ashes by Bill… now she understood Luke's and the others fear… the man was a monster.

In that kiss they both promised something to each other… Bill was going to pay for this. Bill was going to die for sure… if not by their hand at least by their intervention.

It doesn't matter how tough I thought I was… or how tough Luke thought he was because all of this marked him at least just as much as it marked me. Trauma will always leave a scar which will simply burn us anywhere we go… even back then in his arms, with his taste on my lips it haunted me… it surely changed the both of us… it surely messed me up… But maybe all of that happened for a reason… maybe all of the pain, fear and everything else that this event brought had a point. Maybe going through all of this crap was what will help the both of us to keep going… to push us. Getting a little messed up will help us step up… in his anger Luke will surely want revenge… and in my terrible state I will surely want revenge… we'll see if we get it.