A Good Word With The Goddess

Deadpool/Sif

DeadSword

Theme song:

Billy Joel – Uptown Girl

Loads of people voted for this. And I sat there for AGES staring at the ship and wondering HOW IN THE HELL I would actually get them to meet. And in the end, I decided to totally cheat.

So this is set in the same AU as Thor/Ororo and Loki/Rogue. It's the night of Rogue's bachelorette party.

"Oooh, hello again! I love these."

Shut up, Wade. You're not supposed to be talking to me.

"But they're so much fun! The idea of having a soulmate is fantastic. Especially for me. Nobody understands me, you see, the thought of someone who would, who'd get me, it's just so enticing…"

Do you want to find out who I've paired you with or not?

"Yes, please!"

Then shut the fuck up and let's start the story.

"Princess Anna-Marie," Wade drawled, sliding onto the bar stool beside Rogue. "Sounds like so much fun."

"Fuck off, Wade," Rogue said without heat. Leaning into him for a moment, letting their shoulders brush. Wade was one of very few people who'd willingly allowed her to touch him, before Loki. He didn't mind the pain, and he could heal from it anyway. When her desperation to feel human touch had become too much, she'd gone to him more than once, and he'd given her what she needed, even stripped off his shirt and let her touch his scarred torso, held her in his arms and pressed his lips to her brow as she cried on his shoulder. It was a debt she'd never be able to repay, and they both knew it.

Not that he would ever ask for payment anyway. It wasn't Wade's way. He was unbelievably generous to those few he considered his friends. Rogue had heard through the grapevine about how he'd gone to Gambit once word reached the Cajun of Loki and Rogue, let Gambit beat him half to death to take out his pain and rage.

Another debt she'd always owe Wade. Rogue cast him a sideways smile. "So what boon would you ask of a Princess, Deadpool?"

He was watching the dance floor. "Put in a good word for me with the goddess?"

"Huh?" Puzzled, Rogue followed his glance. Saw Sif there, dancing gamely but rather awkwardly as Kitty and Illyana tried to show her the steps. "Oh dear God no. Sif? She'd have you for breakfast."

Wade licked his lips. "I certainly hope so."

"Wade!"

"Oh please tell me you're not innocent of sex still. Am I really going to have to give you the birds and the bees talk? Because I'd really hoped Loki had taken care of that by now…"

"No!" she blushed red. "I mean, yes, he has – we have – Wade, stop it!" as he began to laugh.

"Ah, lass," he reached out and ruffled the white streak in her hair fondly. "Still so innocent, and getting married tomorrow."

"Shut it," she groused, pushing his hand off, "or I won't introduce you to Sif."

"Introduce who to Sif?" the lady herself said, striding up to the bar. "Another, my good man, I pray you," she said to Bobby, who was acting as bartender. He grinned and held his hand over a glass, ice cubes forming and tumbling into it before he poured scotch over it and handed it over. Sif smiled and took a gulp. "Ah, most refreshing!" She leaned one elbow on the bar and smiled fondly down at Rogue. "So who have I not met?" She glanced beyond her at Wade, cocked a dark brow as she caught the blond staring at her. "You have not been to Asgard."

"I'm afraid no one in their right mind would trust me to behave in a way befitting a diplomat," Wade said cheerfully. "I have a tendency to say very inappropriate things to important people, and then take it amiss when they try to kill me."

Sif smiled. "A kindred spirit. I have no skill at diplomacy either, I fear. My negotiations occur at the point of my blade."

Wade was gazing, positively love-struck. Feeling a little surplus to requirements, Rogue grinned and eased off the bar stool in between them. "I'm going to dance, Sif. Have a seat, you two can discuss fighting styles. Wade likes swords too."

"Katanas, get it right," Wade grumped, but he gave her a wink and Rogue winked back and headed off to join her girlfriends.

"The curved blades the samurai of Japan use?" Sif slid gracefully onto the vacated stool. "I fought against them once, long ago. They were most skilled."

"Wade Wilson, m'lady," he remembered his manners, what little Jean and Ororo had managed to beat into his crazy head, held out his hand. "Also known as Deadpool, but please call me Wade."

"You may call me Sif," she declared with a smile, "as I hope we will spar and you will show me your skill at blades." Her slender hand curled around his.

Both accustomed to pain, neither cried out at the sharp, stinging agony in their palms.

Sif's grey eyes widened as she stared at the blond man.

"Fuck me you're the best author ever, she's hot like the sun!" Wade exclaimed.

Wade, now would be a really good time to talk to your soulmate and not to me.

"Oh, yeah, I s'pose – goddamn, I am the luckiest guy in the world," he said very sincerely to Sif, "and I'm really sorry."

"What for?" she frowned slightly at him, puzzled.

"You're so fabulous you undoubtedly deserve better than a fucked-up science experiment like me."

Sif's smile was slow, her eyes sparkling as she retorted; "No doubt many Asgardians will tell you that you deserve better than a woman who plays at being a warrior."

"From what I've heard, you don't treat it like a game," Wade shook his head, "and I doubt anyone would have the guts to say that in your presence." He grinned at her. "And if they say it to me out of your presence, I'll remove their guts for you, how's that for a deal?"

She was still holding his hand. Tightened her grip now. "That sounds like a deal I would like." Her free hand came up, touched his cheek lightly. "And if anyone else tries to use you for a science experiment, I will cut them into tiny pieces and feed them to bildsnipe."

Her hand was a warrior's hand, strong, callused from gripping a sword. Wade turned his head and kissed her palm softly, saw a faint blush come to her pale cheeks. "Come dance with me," he said suddenly, standing up and tugging gently on her hand.

"I am – not very good at this way of dancing," Sif shook her head, her blush deepening as he tried to pull her towards the dance floor.

"That's okay. I'll make a complete idiot of myself and everyone will be so busy laughing at me, they won't notice!" Wade said gaily, and Sif started to laugh, letting him tow her along.

Just as they got to the dance floor, though, the music changed and a slow song began to play. Wade glanced up at the DJ's box, gave Jubilee a discreet thumbs-up. She grinned back at him.

"This kind of dancing is easy," He pulled Sif into his arms, sliding his hands to the back of her waist. She went stiff against him instantly.

"In public?"

"Look around you," Wade suggested, and Sif did, her eyes widening as she saw couples swaying together on the dance floor.

"This is – acceptable? To be so close, in public?" Sif seemed rather shocked. Asgardians, with their long lives, were rather more reserved than humans, apparently.

"Certainly." Wade mentally revised his plan of getting Sif into bed on the first date. Well, he had time. The rest of his life. She relaxed slowly against him, putting her arms around him and leaning in, resting her cheek on his shoulder.

"People are looking at us," Sif whispered in Wade's ear.

He grinned. "They're thinkin' I'm the luckiest guy in the world." He was, indeed, receiving a lot of incredulous stares. Being Wade, of course, he was totally used to that.

Sif laughed, let him hold her a little closer. And when he turned his head and sought her mouth, she kissed him back. Wade broke the kiss to look up at the ceiling briefly.

"You're fuckin' awesome."

Thank you, Wade. Now get back to kissing your soulmate.

Author is awesome. And author very much hates writing Deadpool because he won't stop TALKING TO ME.