Bella's POV

The next day I woke up to another cloudy day in Forks, and, for once, I was happy I lived in such a dreary town; it gave me a reason to wear long sleeves.
School seemed to drag on for what seemed like forever. These days, it was as if all I could think about was getting back to my razor. All I wanted for this day to end.
I was relieved when lunch finally came. I didn't know if I could handle another moment in class.
"So Bella, trip over any flat surfaces lately?" Emmett's smirk brought me out of my trance and I shot him a glare.
I was sitting in the cafeteria with Edward, Alice, Emmett and Jasper. Rosalie still hadn't warmed up to me, so I supposed that was why she wasn't here. And I tried not to let that get to me.
I didn't reply to my playful big brother, instead I reached across the table to take my lemonade which was in front of Alice.
Then my sleeve rode up and one of my newest cuts was on display. It was like everybody's breaths hitched at once and they all stared at my wrist as I hurriedly attempted to cover it up again.
Surprisingly, Emmett was the first to speak, seeing as both Edward and Alice were in shock. "Bella, what happened?"
I started hyperventilating, desperately looking for an excuse. I tried to calm my heart rate down, knowing they could hear it as clear as day.
"I…um…cut myself accidentally while cooking dinner last night," I stammered. I hoped they would accept this excuse, and they probably would. I did have sort of a reputation when it came to being clumsy.
Everyone let out a sigh of relief, everyone except Alice that is.
"Well you really need to be more careful, Bella," she said, somewhat regaining control of herself.
I just nodded and thanked the man upstairs when the bell rang, signalling the end of lunch.
Edward seemed to have accepted this excuse, but for the rest of the day he was giving me disbelieving looks. And, for some reason, I couldn't bring myself to look him in the eye.

That night I was sitting in the tub. I was on my third cut and I realised my razor was getting kind of blunt, and made plans to get a new one the next day.
Slowly, I made my fourth and final cut, knowing that Edward was waiting for me I knew I shouldn't take too long. I drew the razor sharply on the most prominent vain and the blood brought me the same release it always did. My antidote. Ever since Edward left all those months ago, Charlie and I hadn't spoken much. Another reason I needed this release.

Carefully and soundlessly, I walked back to my room.
I opened the door and saw Edward sitting on my head. Something was wrong. His head was down and when he looked up, the expression on his face was pained. For all the years that he's lived his age had never shown on his immortal face. But today his face seemed to have aged ten years.
I was frozen in place. After a few minutes of staring at each other I moved towards the bed and sat down next to him. I didn't know what this was about but I had a fairly good idea.
He turned to me slowly before looking down at my arm.
He reached for my arm carefully and I tried to resist him but gave in quickly and closed my eyes, letting him push up my sleeve.
"Bella, open your eyes," I heard him whisper. So I did. And I saw him staring at the scars, and I was close to tears. With his finger he traced each scar lightly and I sighed at the cooling sensation.
He looked up at me. "Bella…why?"
And I didn't know what to say. I was frozen. I couldn't even cry. All I could do was melt into his arms and let a few tears slip out while he stroked my hair. By the look on his face I could tell that if he were human he would probably be crying too.
"I'm sorry, Edward."
Then I passed out, in his arms, into a uneasy and dreamless sleep.
What have I done?