Bella's POV
As soon as Carlisle had completed his examination, I ran to the parking lot. But it wasn't Edward I found waiting for me in the Volvo.
"What's up, Bells?" I heard Emmett say from inside the car.
"What are you doing here?" I asked through the window.
"Well," he said, a goofy smile planted on his face. "I was sent on a mission to keep you from harm. My agent has trusted me with his most prized possession, and I have sworn not to let him down!" He was talking like one of those superheroes in a lame movie.
I rolled my eyes. Trust Emmett to make a joke out of everything and anything.
"In plain English, please Emmett."
"Okay, well, Edward told me that I need to watch you and make sure you don't hurt yourself while he's away. I'm not supposed to let you out of my sight for a second."
I rolled my eyes again. "I don't need a babysitter, Emmett."
"Too bad," he said, the same goofy smile on his face. "Get in."
"No," I said, crossing my arms. This was all just utterly ridiculous!
Emmett sighed. "Listen, Bella. This has to happen. And I'm sorry that it has to be this way, but just trust me. We know what we're doing."
I still stood outside the car, not budging.
Now it was his turn to roll his eyes. "Bells. You have a choice here. Either you get into this car and come with me willingly. Or I get out of this car, pick you up, and put you into this car. You choose." The smile dropped, and I could tell he was serious.
I groaned. "Fine!"
Once I was in the car he drove me home quickly, trying to be subtle with the glances he made towards my arms.
As soon as we got home, I made a beeline for the door. Charlie wasn't home, so I just went straight to the bathroom.
"I need a human moment!" I yelled as I ran up the stairs.
I heard Emmett shuffling around the living room.
Once I was in the bathroom, I locked the door behind me and scratched around in the sink cabinet.
I gave a loud sigh when I found what I was looking for. My antidote. My release.
This was where I kept one of my many stashes of razors.
I grabbed the first one I saw, pulled up my sleeve, and pressed it forcefully against my wrist, drawing an obscene amount of blood.
Within two seconds, Emmett was in the bathroom, having busted down the door, and the razors were out of my reach immediately.
He said nothing. Grabbing a nearby towel, he held it against my freshest cut, shaking his head. He looked…disappointed.
I couldn't stand to see Emmett like this. I looked away. What was wrong with me?
I could tell he was struggling with the blood, so I don't know what possessed him to pick me up and run me all the way to his house.
When we got there, Alice's was the first face I saw.
She didn't greet me. All she did was look at my rapidly bleeding arm and then back at Emmett.
"The bandages are in the kitchen. I would hurry if I were you."
Emmett set me down and led me to the kitchen, where he secured a bandage around my cut.
I held my ground. Never crying, or showing any emotion.
Alice walked in just then. "It's alright, Em. I'll take it from here."
Emmett nodded before walking out the door, after looking back at me with a heartbreaking expression.
I sighed. This was too much. Where was Edward?
"He's talking to Carlisle," Alice said, as if she was the one that could read minds. "He'll be here in about a half hour."
"What are they talking about?" I asked.
"You," she said simply, wrapping a second bandage around my cut, which was now spilling blood. It actually started to make me feel a little faint.
"And your…habits," she continued softly. I wondered whether she meant for me to hear.
"What's up with Emmett?" I asked, trying to steer the conversation away from me. "I mean, I know that there's a lot of blood but he was acting really shook up."
Alice sighed, cutting off an extra piece of cloth. "Bella, he wasn't shook up because of the blood. He was shook up because it really hurt him to see you do what you did," she said, bringing the topic back to me. "Especially since it happened a few feet away from him…and he was too late."
"That's not his fault!" I jumped to his defence.
"Oh, I know," she said, wiping away the excess blood on my arm. "He doesn't."
She finished up and stepped back. "Your clothes are soaked. I have a shirt for you laid out on my bed. Go change before Edward gets here."
I did.
When I got downstairs about 30 minutes later, I saw Edward, Alice and Carlisle sitting at the dining room table, engrossed in conversation.
I walked up to the table.
"Bella, how are you feeling?" Carlisle asked.
"Good, I guess." Then I noticed the box full of razors that sat on the table before them.
My razors!
I was about to ask, when Alice spoke up.
"This is for your own good, Bella."
Edward just stared at me, not uttering a word, but his face was pained. Almost resembling Emmett's, but Edward's was by far the most painful to look at.
"I went to your house earlier and found all of your razors. I am personally going to dispose of these."
My mouth fell open. What was going on?
"We have to do this, Bella," Carlisle put in.
I pursed my lips, and folded my arms. There was no way I was giving in that easily. I could find razors, somehow.
"Someone will be with you during the day time when Edward isn't available. You will always be watched so that there is no possibility of you sneaking around, trying to replace the razors." Carlisle seemed to be in doctor mode again. I wanted to scream.
"Take me home," I said as calmly as I could manage at that moment.
Edward got up and took my hand, leading me towards the garage.
As we passed Rosalie, I saw her shoot me a glare. Great. Just what I needed at this moment.
Once we were in the Volvo and on the road I let out a sigh of relief, grateful to be under the intensive watches of the others.
Edward said nothing, though he was driving unusually slow. It was a sign that he had a lot on his mind. And the fact that he hadn't voiced any of his thoughts was actually rather scary.
"Edward?" I tried.
No response. I started to panic.
"Edward?"
Nothing. Okay this was too much.
"Edward, you can't ignore me forever, you know."
This earned me a slight glance, but other than that, no reaction.
And suddenly, I knew what was happening. This same thing happened all those months ago, on my birthday.
Of course! Why hadn't I realised it sooner?
The silence, the short glances, the pained look in his eye.
He was going to leave me again! Of course he was!
I couldn't believe this was happening again!
Without even noticing, I felt tears on my cheeks.
Then, my anger flared.
"Stop the car," I told him, calmly.
"What?" he asked, speaking for the first time since this morning.
"Stop the car!" I screamed.
"Bella, be reasonable-"
"Stop the car or I swear I will get out while it's still moving!"
He did, seeing that I was serious. We might not have been going very fast, but he could tell that we were going fast enough that if I were to jump out of the car, it would do some damage.
I opened the door, got out the car and started walking.
"And where do you think you're going?" Edward asked, driving slowly enough to follow me on the road.
"Home."
He sighed. "Bella, get back into the car."
"No."
"Bella, please?"
I turned, facing the window. "Edward, I know you want to leave me! I can tell! Stop pretending! If you want to go, just GO!"
He stared at me, stunned. "Bella, what on earth would make you think I wanted to leave you?"
"Because you've done this before! I'm familiar with the signs, okay?" I started walking again.
I was frustrated and tired and just wanted to get away from him.
"Bella? Please talk to me?"
I turned back towards the car. "What, Edward? What? What could you possibly say to me that would reassure me?"
"Bella," he started again. "I love you. So much. You will never know how much I love you. I will never leave you again. Not in a lifetime! You should know that!"
I sniffed. "Then why are you acting the same way you did when you-"
I got cut off by a strangled hiccup coming from my own throat.
"Bella, you have no idea how much I despise myself, right now. Time and time again I've vowed to keep you out of harm's way, and time and time again I fail you. I'm not angry with you, love. I could never be angry with you. I'm angry with myself. I couldn't even save you from yourself! How could I not be angry with myself?"
At that moment I yanked the car door open, got in and grabbed Edward's face, looking him in the eyes.
"Listen to me carefully," I said to him slowly. "This. Is. Not. Your. Fault. At all! So please, don't blame yourself! It will only make me feel worse!"
He nodded slowly, then reached over and closed the door behind me.
"Will you let me drive you home, now?"
I nodded.
I was about to sit back in my seat, when Edward grabbed my face, and pressed his lips against mine, roughly.
I was confused, but I would never turn down Edward's kisses. So I kissed him back forcefully, knowing it wouldn't last long. As soon as things got…hot, Edward would pull away and mutter something about 'life threatening danger'.
So it surprised me when he kissed me back with even more force.
I kissed him earnestly, wishing this would last forever.
But he never pulled away.
Instead, I felt his tongue on my lower lip, begging for entrance. I all too willingly obliged, opening my mouth, allowing him to explore the contours of my mouth.
The iciness of his breath and tongue made me shiver…in a good way. At this point, he would draw the line and pull away.
Ususally.
Now it just caused him to push against me harder. Our tongues fought for dominance, until his won out, and continued to explore my mouth.
I knotted my fingers in his hair, drawing them through his locks.
I heard a low growl emit from his chest.
Then, he was gone.
I opened my eyes, panting unbelievably hard, and found him starting up the car again.
"Wow," I muttered, then saw his smirk.
Then he got serious again. "Don't worry, Bella. We're going to get through this. Together."
He took my hand, and held it tightly. I was still panting, trying to catch my breath.
When we pulled up into my driveway, neither of us got out. I saw Charlie's car in the driveway, and I noticed that it was almost 11pm. I had been at the Cullens for hours and hadn't even told him where I'd been! I hoped Edward had a good lie cooked up, because I had nothing.
Of course, there was something more…pressing on my mind.
"Um…Edward…"
"Yes, love?" he asked, turning to me.
"That…kiss…um…would you ever…like…want to do…that...again?" I said, absolutely embarrassed. I looked down.
Edward chuckled.
He pulled my face towards his, so that I was looking straight into his amber eyes.
"Of course, love…" he murmured, pulling me closer, until our lips were inches apart.
"As soon as you start improving."
Then he pulled away, getting out of the car.
As I stepped out and closed the door behind me, I suddenly decided that maybe this wouldn't be very hard at all.
With the proper motivation, I was pretty sure I could do it.
With the right motivation…
X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X
A/N Awwwww E+B 4ever!
What a LONG chapter! Phew! Hope you enjoyed!
Please R&R! You guys have no idea how much it means to me when you do! :D