Sorry for the wait! Long, busy month, so of course, this is no longer just a Halloween project, but a regular story. :) Ambiguous Cake, cheesy is what I aim for. ASmallNestOfWarmBees, that's one of my favorite tropes! Enough with my words, on with the story!
Ephemeral: Lasting for a very short time.
The Teacher and The Sleuth
The end of November brings with it another cold front, followed by more rain that quickly turns into snow. It seems colder this year than normal, or maybe Jake is just weak when it comes to ice and frost. He tells himself the fall was well worth it, all those beautiful colors and scents, and soon enough it will be spring. He just has to be patient.
He and Dirk get together with Roxy to discuss birthday plans. They usually all celebrate together, since all their birthdays are lumped into one week. Jake has no idea what to get either of them, and really, he has no money to get them anything even if he did have an idea. He relies on Jade for everything, and he's often told her he'd like to get a part-time job to earn money, but she won't hear of it. She wants him to focus on school at least until graduation, she says. She doesn't want him to work until college. Jake runs this through his head as he walks home after school, his boots crunching in the newly fallen snow, Dirk, for once, not at his side.
Jake told Dirk he needed a day to shop without Dirk's prying eyes. Dirk looked a little miffed, but agreed, and he gave Jake a forlorn look as he walked towards his own house in the opposite direction when they parted ways. Jake is still struggling with why Dirk is so keen to follow him everywhere, and Jade still won't share her theory with him. He does wonder, sometimes, whether it has to do with fox mating habits, and then he tells himself not to get his hopes up, because that's probably not it at all.
When he walks into his house he's instantly assaulted with the scent of baked goods and the heat from the fireplace. He shivers and immediately bounds to it, standing in front of it and rubbing his hands together.
"Jakey?" His grandmother pops her head into the living room, then smiles at him warmly. "I thought I heard your teeth chattering." She looks around. "Dirk isn't here?"
"Not today! I told him I needed a day to myself for shopping. I've got to make my way to the mall soon but I was wondering if you'd like to accompany me?" He can't quite conceal the hopefulness in his voice. While he told Dirk he wanted to go alone, he actually hates going anywhere alone. His grandmother gives him a knowing smile.
"That sounds fun. I've got to wait until this cake is done, though." She walks to him and kisses his forehead before pinching his cheek, a wistful look in her eyes. "I can't believe you're eighteen... Just yesterday you and Dirk were both in diapers!"
"Gramma," Jake says, not wanting her to upset herself again. Just the day before she got emotional over Jake's baby pictures.
"I can get sentimental if I want to!" she says huffily before she hurries back into the kitchen. Jake sighs and continues warming up before trailing after her, knowing she wants to spend time with him.
He puts up with an hour of taste testing the cake, helping her frost it, cheek pinches and wet, tearful kisses before they're on their way to the mall, Jake driving and Jade in the passenger seat. The mall is packed, of course, people trying to get all their Christmas shopping done, and Jake is very grateful he didn't come alone, knowing he'd feel pressured and hurried if he didn't have someone with him.
Roxy is fairly simple to buy for. He'd like very much to get her the new video game that just came out for her PS4, but he won't ask his grandmother to pay all that money. Instead, he picks her out a gaudy Christmas sweater with cats on it, knowing Roxy has a weakness for all things cat related and ugly sweater related. He picks up some cat toys for her cat Jaspers while he's at it. Roxy doesn't like receiving gifts without her cat getting a present, too. It's just how she's always been.
Dirk is the hard one to buy for. He and his grandmother both look from shelf to shelf in every store, wondering what on earth to get him. This birthday feels more important than most for some reason, probably because it's their eighteenth, but also for reasons Jake can't put into words. He wants to get Dirk something that conveys his feelings, but also isn't extremely obvious about it.
"How about car parts?" Jade asks. "He definitely needs those."
"No, those are practical. I want to get him something he doesn't need, but will want," Jake replies. "It's just that I can't think of what that entails."
"Well, I know for a fact Dirk Strider is also a huge fan of hideous clothing. We can get him a sweater, too."
Jake makes a face, and Jade holds her hands up in surrender.
Another hour passes of them walking aimlessly through the mall, and Jake finally has to call it quits. He picks out a vinyl record he knows Dirk wants, because Dirk is one of those "No, man, CD's can't even compare to vinyl, holy fuck" kinds of people, and then, while he's waiting in line to pay, he has an idea. A very cheesy idea, but one that sends exactly the kind of message he's hoping to send.
The next day is Jake's birthday, and it's also Saturday. He's woken up to his grandmother barging into his room, causing a racket with party poppers and more tears, and then he gets to eat a slice of cake with breakfast. Sure enough less than an hour passes before knocks on their door signal his friend's arrival, and he hurries to let them in. It looks like Roxy drove them all over in her car, none of them looking pink or cold from walking. He accepts a hug from Jane and Roxy, and then a quick embrace from Dirk, who doesn't linger when other people are around, though he does seem to stay closer to Jake's side than normal when they part.
They go to the living room to exchange gifts. It's technically only Jake's birthday, but he always feels awkward when they focus on only him, and it's become a tradition for them to give each other their presents at the same time.
"Oh, Jakey! It's hideous!" Roxy squeals delightedly when she opens her sweater. She immediately pulls it on and twirls around, showing it to Jane, who merely shakes her head, a forced sour look on her face. Roxy puts the treats for Jaspers in her purse and then tosses Jake a lumpy present. It's always amazed him that as smart as Roxy is, she can't wrap anything in paper without making it look like a disaster.
Roxy got him a bunch of movies she tossed into a box, little bits of newspaper placed inside here and there as if she was hoping that would help make the present look more presentable. Jake laughs at her efforts but is happy to go through the box, seeing plenty of movies he hasn't even heard of. He'll be sure to check them out later, probably with Dirk.
Dirk got Roxy a video game, and Roxy got Dirk a box-set of some obscure anime he's been wanting. Jane got them each a box of her homemade fudge (no nuts in Jake's, of course) and tells them, as she does every year, that they'll get their real gifts for Christmas, which is only a few weeks away.
Dirk opens his record from Jake and grins, his eyes wider than normal, and Jake smiles at the fact he knows Dirk so well he doesn't even need Dirk to say he loves it.
Finally, Jake starts to open the large present from Dirk, which is meticulously wrapped as usual. Inside are a number of rolled up posters, each from his favorite movies, such as Indiana Jones, and a vast array of Bill Murray movies. He can't help himself from excitedly hugging Dirk around the neck!
"Are you even gonna have room for those new ones, Jakey?" Roxy asks, examining some of the posters. "Your walls are already covered."
"I may have to take down a few..." Jake muses. "I suppose I don't like as many of them as much as I used to."
He finally pulls away from Dirk, who is looking very pleased with himself.
"You forgot something," Dirk says, pointing to the box.
"There's more?" Jake asks, digging through it. His hands brush against something fuzzy, and he pulls a stuffed fox out of the box, a confused expression on his face.
"Awwww! Di-Stri got you a stuffed animal!" Roxy says, giggling at Jake's face.
"That's so cute," Jane nods, nibbling on a corner of the fudge she gave Roxy.
"Inside joke," Dirk says simply, nudging Jake. He tucks the fox into the collar of Jake's shirt, that smug look on his face again, and Jake is sorely tempted to punch and kiss him all at once.
Jade invites them all to stay for dinner, and regales them with stories about Jake as a baby, and Jake hurries away from them all to decide which posters to take down in his room to make space for the new ones. He's thinking about it very thoroughly when he realizes Dirk is in the room with him, simply watching him.
"You still making your executive decisions?" Dirk asks, moving to flop in Jake's bed.
"It's not as easy as I thought. I love all these movies!" Jake huffs and looks around. "There's only one solution. The ones you got me will have to be hung on the ceiling."
"Can you even reach your ceiling?" Dirk asks, amused.
"Yes!" Jake defends. He moves to stand on his bed and finds that he can still barely reach. Definitely not well enough to tape the posters up there. He frowns at Dirk. "Well. You're tall enough."
"You only use me for my body." Dirk stands and steps on the bed, holding his hand out for the first poster, which Jake eagerly hands to him, as well as some tape. Together, they get most of them hung up before Jade is calling them for dinner.
"C'mon, English. Dinner ain't gonna eat itself," Dirk says when he notices Jake is still standing in the same spot.
"Um...a moment, please..." Jake hops down and moves to his computer desk, giving Dirk a shy look. "I got you something else. But...I didn't want to give it to you in front of everybody."
"What is it?" Dirk asks curiously, moving closer.
"It's nothing big! It's just...it's between the two of us. Much like your ridiculous fox." The fox is still hanging from Jake's collar. He gives Dirk the tiny case, watching Dirk's expression.
"A mix CD?"
"Yes. It's...you know. It's all the silly things we've listened to over the years. That I can remember, at least..." Jake is starting to stammer under Dirk's eagle eyes. "I-it's just that soon you'll—be going off to college and...I tried to think of something to give you but I couldn't and you've always been so fond of music that I thought this was the best thing to give you! But it's cheesy and that's why I didn't want to give it to you in front of Roxy, because you know she would have made fun of me! And so...there you are!"
"Jake, hey, calm down," Dirk laughs, putting his hands on Jake's shoulders. "I like it, okay?"
Jake nods and swallows thickly, heart still pounding wildly from embarrassment. "You're just very hard to buy for..." he mutters.
"So you say every year, but you always get me stuff I love."
Jake wants to say more, but his grandmother calls them down again, and they hurry downstairs before Roxy can give Jade inappropriate ideas of what the two of them are doing upstairs that's taking so long.
The rest of the month passes by uneventfully, and all of the students are looking forward to the holiday break, especially after midterms. Jake feels like his head is ready to burst from trying to study, and it puts him in a foul mood that he feels only a few weeks of sleeping late and holiday food will fix.
The last day of school finds him trudging through the hallway, in search of Dirk, who was supposed to meet him outside. It's way too cold to just stand in front of the school, so Jake makes his way to Dirk's last class, which is AP chemistry. He feels his temples pounding from lack of sleep and too much studying, and by the time he's entering the classroom, Jake is prepared to give Dirk an ear-full for making him wait.
Except Dirk is talking to someone Jake doesn't know, and that makes it a little harder to gripe at him.
Dirk and the unknown man turn to Jake when he enters, pausing their conversation, and Jake feels like a deer in headlights, his anger quickly evaporating.
"Hey, bro, sorry for the holdup," Dirk says. "He was just talking to me about my midterm."
"Not...bad news, I hope?" Jake asks weakly, his eyes wide and focused on the man, who gives him an eerie vibe he can't really place.
"Not at all. Mr. Strider here had the highest marks in the class. I simply wanted to talk to him about scholarship offers he might consider taking to various schools in the area," the man says, and Jake's frown deepens. Who is this? Is he a sub? He isn't Dirk's usual teacher.
Dirk gets his bag and zips it up before turning back to Jake. "We can get going now though. Thanks for waiting for me."
Jake wouldn't have waited if they weren't going to Dirk's house. While he likes Dave well enough, when Jake is alone with him, Dave has a tendency to be very...Roxy-like with his questions and insinuations about Dirk. Of course, Dirk's presence doesn't change that much, but at least Dirk can tell Dave to fuck himself. Jake can't exactly do such a thing, even if it would be nice.
"It's fine..." Jake says, looking back to the clean-cut teacher. He seems fine but...something about him is off. Jake isn't sure whether it's the meticulously cut and tailored suit or if it's the way the man slicks his hair back like a 50's era gangster, but Jake wants to be as far from him as possible, and wants to pull Dirk with him.
Dirk leaves the classroom first, and Jake trails after him, but only after glancing back at the man, who is...leering at him, teeth too sharp and wide to be completely human. Jake freezes in his steps, fear trickling up his spine, and he knows he's messed up, because now the man knows Jake knows something is wicked about him. Jake closes the door and hurriedly scurries after Dirk, staying pressed close to his side, practically worming his way under Dirk's arm, who looks flustered, but otherwise doesn't complain.
Jake stays quiet all the way to Dirk's house, and even remains silent once they get there, not rising to any of Dave's taunts and jeers. Dave has a lot more free time to bother them since his latest deadline is up, and he takes to hanging around the garage while Dirk tinkers with the car, spouting off ridiculous stories and words of half-witted advice until Dirk snaps and throws a wrench at him.
Dirk is tossing Jake these little concerned looks, but determinedly works on the radiator hose. He finally pinpointed where the leak was, and is simply replacing the hose instead if the radiator itself, saving him a lot of money. Dirk finally opens his mouth to say something when the garage door opens and Dave slinks in, moving directly to their side. He looks Jake up and down and then raises his eyebrows.
"You look spooked, kiddo."
"Do I?" Jake laughs nervously, avoiding both their eyes.
"Yup. Did you see Dirk without pants on or something? Shit's traumatizing."
"Okay, you have one more fucking time, Dave," Dirk hisses.
"Hey, I'm being a concerned adult here. If he was traumatized by your Chicken Little legs, I should give him a pep talk. Let him know it could be worse," Dave shrugs.
"Like you're one to talk. You looked like a stretched out noodle."
"I look like a reasonably sized adult."
"Who had two bigger adults pull him from both ends till he stretched into what we currently know as Dave Strider."
"At least if I had a crush on J-" Dave starts, but he hurries out of the garage when Dirk lifts a wrench threateningly.
"Goddammit, he's just the worst person I know," Dirk murmurs, glaring after him for a moment before turning back to Jake. "But...uh. You do seem kinda...out of it? I guess. You okay?"
"What happened to Ms. MacBurnette?" Jake asks him all of a sudden, startling him.
"Huh?"
"Your chemistry teacher. The one you had a vendetta against for not giving you bonus points?"
"Oh, her." Dirk snorts and moves back to his work. "I guess she realized she was a shit teacher, 'cause she just up and left a week ago. I don't even think she quit. Just didn't come back."
Jake gives him a horrified look, and Dirk's expression turns back into one of concern.
"I mean, I'm sure she's okay, dude. Probably just found a better job."
"You didn't tell me you had a new teacher..." Jake says.
"I didn't think it was a big deal. But yeah, Mr. Droog is pretty cool, I guess. Kind of an asshole though. He kicked this guy out of class for sneezing the other day," Dirk says.
Jake falls silent again, letting Dirk get back to the car. After about a half hour of silence, Jake turns and goes into the house, feeling Dirk's eyes burning a hole after him. He goes to the fridge and pulls out a can of root beer, and suddenly, out of seemingly nowhere, Dave is upon him, leaning against the counter with his arms crossed.
"So," he says, and Jake blinks confusedly.
"So?"
"So, you're in love with my bro, right?"
Jake opens his can of soda and hurriedly starts chugging it to save himself from having to answer that painfully obvious question.
"Yeah, you totally are. I mean, I guess we always kinda knew you were. Even when you were babies you looked at the kid like he was the greatest thing you ever saw." Dave uncrosses his arms and stands up straight. "Just had to ask, though. Now I can gossip more adequately about it."
"Gossip?" Jake asks meekly.
"Oh, yeah. Me and Jade like to talk about you two an awful lot."
"Not Gramma too!" Jake wails, forgetting his other woes as his face burns red at the thought of his grandmother and Dirk's brother getting together over mimosas and whatever the hell else they do, laughing about Jake and his pathetic crush on Dirk that will probably never be requited.
"I mean, it's not that big of a deal. You know he loves y-"
Dirk comes out of the garage with black greasy fingers, and he moves to the sink to wash his hands, all while giving Dave a suspicious look. Dave winks at Jake before he heads back to the living room.
"Ready to get going?" Dirk asks. "I think that's about as much as I'm willing to get done today. I feel like if I have to keep looking at that damn car I'll smash my brain to pieces."
"Yes, that's...I mean we can get a move on..." Jake says glumly, his mood further darkened by the conversation with Dave, even though he knows deep down that Dave was probably just messing with him.
They crunch through the snow as they make their way to Jake's house, and Dirk continuously seems like he wants to say something but thinks better of it at the last moment. Dirk's never been good with words, and Jake doesn't expect him to say anything too deep or inspiring. As a matter of fact, last time Jake cried over anything, which was getting a horrible grade on a test he studied really hard for, Dirk merely patted his shoulders with an exasperated look on his face, and Jake ended up smacking him.
As soon as they step foot inside the house, Jade is upon them, hurrying them to wash up and sit down for dinner, waving a wooden spoon through the air in a mildly threatening manner as she speaks.
"Honestly! You two know what time dinner is!" she says under her breath.
"I'm sorry, it's my fault," Dirk interjects. "I got carried away working on-"
"No excuses! Eat!" Jade huffs, pointing to the bowl of chili in front of Dirk, who shuts up and immediately shovels a spoonful into his mouth to appease her.
Of course, it doesn't take long at all for Jade's eyes to hone in on Jake, who is still being very quiet, especially by normal "Jake Standards". But thankfully, she doesn't question him about it. At least, not right then.
"Jake, help me with the dishes," she says curtly, shooing Dirk upstairs. Jake helps her scrape the rest of the chili into a Tupperware container, and manages to get it into the fridge before she asks the inevitable.
"What's wrong, Jakey?"
With most people, Jake could say "nothing", and it would pass as believable. At least with Dirk, Dirk would drop it, even if he wouldn't believe it. But with his grandmother, Jake can't do that. He wants to tell her everything as soon as her caring eyes settle on him, and before he knows it, he's opened a floodgate.
"It's just that teacher of Dirk's has me in a tizzy and I can't stop thinking about how he's probably murdered poor Ms. MacBurnette! And then Dave had to go and mess with my brain and—do you gossip with him about Dirk and I? Because that's rude and I have enough to worry about without the two of you having a laugh about my ill-fated love life behind my back!"
Jade stares at him for a moment before she laughs, and Jake feels himself flushing with more anger!
"Now see here!" he starts, but she holds her hands up.
"Well, of course Dave and I talk about you two. But we don't laugh at you. Whatever you think we do, I assure you, it's mostly us discussing your future. And..." Jake is wary of her spreading grin. "Your love life, huh?"
Jake's flushed fury quietly melts into dread at what he's blurted out, not once, but twice today, to both Dave and Jade.
"Oh...sod off!" he huffs, angrily scrubbing at the chili pot with both hands as Jade laughs again and kisses the back of his head.
"Now, what's this about Dirk's teacher?" she asks, and he explains through mutters and grumbles about Mr. Droog and how he possibly murdered Dirk's old teacher in cold blood, possibly with a machete, though Jake thinks that might have been too bloody for the clean cut fellow.
"Hmmm," Jade says when he's finished, "well, based on what Dirk's told me about his old teacher, I can see why she would have been fired."
"She wasn't though! She just up and left! Which I think means she's in a box or something—"
"Jake, honestly, we're going to have to stop letting you watch those crime shows! None of that strikes me as odd aside from the inkling of fear you had."
Jake turns to look at her. "You believe me?"
"Of course, dear. Instincts are the best allies we have in detecting foul play. I've told you that all your life."
"What could it mean though?"
"I'm not sure. I would suggest keeping an eye on things."
"But I'm not in that class! And I'm not smart enough to ever hope of being in that class!" Jake wails.
"Hush!" Jade says, clamping her hand over his mouth, which he continues to whine into. "You're smart enough to do anything you set your mind to! But I was suggesting having Roxy or Jane to do it. Aren't they in that class with him?"
Jake blinks and considers that before he pulls away from her hand. "I hadn't thought of that."
"Well, that's why I'm here! To offer a fresh perspective on things while you wallow in your silly ax-murderer fantasies."
Jake tries to think of which of the girls to ask. Jane loves sleuthing for clues, but Jake has the feeling she would be morally against spying on their teacher, even if it only meant not letting the guy get any of his friends in the room alone with him, like Dirk almost was today. Roxy would probably take the job happily, but Jake isn't sure she would take it seriously, and that's a bigger problem in itself. With a sigh, he unlocks his phone, opening his chat client.
-golgothasTerror [GT] began pestering gutsyGumshoe [GG] at 20:27-
GT: Jane? Are you free?
GG: Hi, Jake! Yes, I am just getting a head-start on my homework so I can enjoy the break without worrying about it!
GT: You smart types and your studying! I dont understand how you do it!
GG: You're pretty smart yourself, mister!
GT: So you all keep telling me. Is roxy with you?
GG: Not tonight. She's having dinner with her mom. She keeps sending me texts about how pretentious her mom's food choices are though. I'm not sure how lo-mein is pretentious, but Roxy assures me it is.
GT: Okay hang on i am going to call you!
Jake closes the chat and opens Jane's contact, calling her. She picks up on the second ring.
"Hello again, Jake!"
"Hello! I have...an odd request. So odd that I knew explaining it over Pesterchum would be silly."
"Oh? And what is this odd request?"
"It's about that new Chemistry teacher. Mr. Droog," Jake says softly into the phone, keeping an eye on the stairs and making sure Dirk isn't coming down them.
"He's a very rude fellow for a teacher. Was Dirk telling you about him? He sent a guy outside for sneezing!" Jane huffs.
"Yes, Dirk told me that. I also met him today. I don't like him very much. He gives me the heebie jeebies!"
"Me, too! Roxy keeps saying I'm being overly suspicious, but I don't like him!"
Jake counts his lucky stars that he seems to have made the right decision in calling Jane instead of Roxy.
"Excellent! Listen to me, Janey. He was having a private chat with Dirk today before I went in the room to see what was taking so long. He seemed rather ill at me for interrupting, even though Dirk seems to think it was just a friendly conversation about academics. I just—I don't want Dirk alone with him. Or you and Roxy either, for that manner. The way he just showed up right after Ms. MacBurnette disappeared just seems much too creepy."
"Oh, I agree! I miss her, too. She was a fair teacher, even if Dirk didn't like her."
Jake knows Jane probably only liked Ms. MacBurnette because Jane has impeccably neat handwriting, and was probably given every bonus point imaginable for penmanship.
"Can you make sure the three of you steer clear from him? Especially after classes? And if Dirk is held back for any reason, could you let me know?" Jake is aware he sounds crazy, but he's not going to let anything happen to Dirk, even if he doesn't know exactly what he's protecting Dirk from.
"You really think he's going to do something bad?" Jane asks quietly, sounding a little frightened.
"I don't know," Jake says honestly. "It's just a gut-feeling, and Gramma always said I should trust those." He also knows Jane Crocker is much more likely to go along with an idea if an adult is behind it, such as Jake's grandmother.
"Okay," Jane says. "I'll keep an eye on him. I don't really think he's dangerous, but he does give me the creeps"
After a few more minutes of more friendly conversation, Jake hangs up with her and goes upstairs to find Dirk sitting in the middle of the bed, tossing the stuffed fox he got Jake into the air and catching it. He looks up at Jake and seems...happy to see him, like he was waiting.
"Man, there you are. Did she have you scrubbing the counter-tops, too?" Dirk asks.
"Huh?" Jake says dimly. He remembers he was supposedly downstairs helping his grandmother the entire time, and hurriedly nods. "Oh, yes. The kitchen was a mess and she was sore at me for being late for dinner again."
"I could've helped," Dirk says. "It was my fault we were late, anyway."
"Don't be silly, Dirk. It was just a bit of cleaning."
Dirk makes a huffy noise like he doesn't believe Jake, and scoots over as Jake flops beside him, tired from the day. Dirk immediately wraps around him like a cuddly octopus, and the same thousand questions fly through Jake's head that he knows he's too chicken to ask.
"What are you doing? Why are you always touching me? If I tried to kiss you, would you freak out? Do you love me like I love you, or should I just give up hope?"
Dirk sighs in Jake's hair, ruffling Jake's crazy locks, and his hands clench in the back of Jake's shirt like he's afraid to let go. They stay curled together like that for a long time before Jake has to untangle himself to turn off the light. As soon as he returns to bed, Dirk grabs for him again, and Jake rolls to him willingly, hoping Dirk can't hear his heart pounding.
"So fuckin' glad we're on break..." Dirk murmurs quietly.
"Mmm..." Jake hums. "I'm sure you're glad for the rest. Midterms were much harder for you than me, I bet."
Dirk laughs and shakes his head, the motions pressing his face further into Jake's hair.
"'M just glad to be able to see you more... Never get to see you in school..."
Again, Jake's heart pounds, but only after seemingly stopping altogether this time. He swallows dryly, trying to get rid of the sudden lump in his throat, wondering when exactly Dirk Strider was able to say such profound things that have Jake turning to putty in his hands.
Jake decides he should at least try to voice his feelings.
"...Dirk?"
"Mmm?"
"I...um... I'm very... I mean." He hides his face in Dirk's neck and speaks in a muffled voice. "It makes me happy...when you say things like that." He finally finishes, because that's safer than "I love you so much it physically hurts me sometimes."
"Yeah?" Dirk says, and Jake nods, refusing to speak again. "Heh. I'll keep saying them, then."
Jake listens to the steady thumping of Dirk's heart and tries to work up the nerve to speak again, but it never seems to come, and before he knows it, he's fallen asleep again, leaving Dirk behind to press a kiss to Jake's forehead that Jake never feels.