Lori had just gotten home from school and was sitting in the kitchen drinking a soda without much enthusiasm when the doorbell rang. She looked around and didn't see anyone else so she went to the door and opened it to find Declan standing on the doorstep.
"Lori," he said in a mildly surprised voice.
"It is my house," Lori said. "You rang my doorbell. Are you here to see Kyle? He and Jessi are out."
Declan looked embarrassed, "I'm actually here to see your mother."
Nicole had heard the doorbell and was coming as well. She saw Declan and said, "Lori, I'll take care of it." She turned to Declan, "Declan, welcome. Come on in."
Declan hesitantly came though the door, "Thank you for seeing me, Mrs. Trager." He glanced at Lori, who was standing to the side with an expression of curiosity on her face.
Nicole said, "Let's go where we can have some privacy." She glanced meaningfully at Lori. "I gave up my office for Jessi's bedroom, but Kyle said we can use his room." She led him through the house into Kyle's room and closed the door behind them. "Why don't you sit over there," she indicated a chair, "and I'll sit here."
Declan sat in the indicated chair and looked apprehensively at Nicole. "What do we do?"
"Mostly we just talk," Nicole explained. "I should start by saying that I am not your therapist. It would be unethical for me to formally treat you because of all the interactions you have with members of my family. I am your friend and we can have a friendly conversation about the things that are troubling you. Everyone needs someone to talk to from time to time. If that helps, fine. If not, and we think you need actual therapy then I can help you find an appropriate therapist. Is that all right?"
"I suppose so," Declan was still nervous. "I'm not sure what good just talking will do." He sat for a moment and added, plaintively, "I just want to be able to sleep."
Nicole nodded and picked up her notebook and pen. She said, "You'd be amazed how much good just talking can do. Frequently trouble sleeping results from your subconscious trying to tell you something. Let's find out what it is." She noted something on the pad.
Declan looked at the pad with consternation.
Nicole noticed him looking, "Since this is not an actual therapy session, I'm not going to keep any records. I'm used to noting things as we talk that I want to come back to without interrupting the conversational flow. I'll destroy them afterword."
Declan nodded, "So what do we talk about?"
"Well, anything you want to, of course," Nicole said. "But I suspect that what's most on your mind is Cassidy and Foss. Kyle and Jessi told me about what happened, so you don't need to worry about what you can tell me. You can tell me everything."
Declan looked away for a moment and then said in a small voice, "Do you think I did the right thing?"
"Of course I do," Nicole said with certainty. "From what I've heard if you hadn't acted decisively Kyle would have been killed. I'm very grateful for what you did."
"Then why does it feel so wrong?" Declan asked.
"We operate on many levels," Nicole explained. "Logically, we are able to balance choices. We are able to logically decide that doing something that would normally be terrible, such as killing another human being is preferable to the consequences. But on another level we just know that we've done a terrible thing. That part of our subconscious can't do the calculation and exacts its own punishment."
"It certainly does," Declan agreed.
"Why don't we start by you going through what happened, step by step," Nicole suggested.
"All right," Declan thought for a moment and began, "When I looked out of Cassidy's house and saw him go into the building following Kyle and Foss …"
In the kitchen, after Lori had finished her soda she went up to her room and brought her guitar and her song notebook down to the living room and sat on the sofa with her notebook in front of her. She then proceeded to play softly, quietly working on her latest songs. As she did, she kept an eye on the hallway.
About an hour after he arrived, Nicole and Declan came down the hallway. Declan was saying, "I think that helped. I certainly feel better at the moment; let's see if I can get some sleep tonight."
"Don't be discouraged if you still have trouble," Nicole cautioned. "One conversation is probably not enough by itself. We should get together again in a few days. Let me know when you're ready."
"I will," Declan promised. "Thank you for taking the time to talk to me."
"Declan, we all owe you a debt of gratitude," Nicole assured him. "I'm willing to do anything I can to help you deal with the aftermath."
"I'm grateful for your help," Declan glanced into the living room and saw Lori sitting with her guitar. He said to her, "Hi, Lori. It's good to see you playing your guitar again."
"Well I have to get ready," Lori explained. "I'm going to be playing at 'Pockets' on Friday night. You should come and hang out with us, bring Jackie."
Declan glanced at the floor for a moment then said, "Well, I'll be there. I try not to miss your performances." He turned back to Nicole, "I'll call tomorrow and let you know how tonight goes." Nicole opened the door for him and he left.
Nicole closed the door and turned back to the living room. She smiled at Lori, "You don't usually practice your guitar in the living room."
"I just wanted a different scene," Lori said, transparently. "Is Declan all right?"
"You know I can't talk about that," Nicole said. "Sometimes it's just good for people to talk. You know you can talk to me too." She gestured toward the guitar, "I'm glad to see you playing again too."
"I had a talk with Jessi," Lori explained. "She got me to call Gary Baker. I was afraid he wouldn't want me to come back. He was glad to hear from me, he had a cancellation and wanted someone for Friday night, so I agreed."
"Well I'm not surprised," Nicole assured her. "You're popular with the audience. We'll be there of course." She walked over to Lori, bent down and kissed her on the forehead. "I'm sorry about Mark. We can talk about that if you want."
"I don't think there's anything to talk about," Lori said. "It had nothing to do with me. There's nothing I could have done about it." She sighed, "I just have to get used to him being gone."
"I'm sorry, honey," Nicole said.
"Yeah, me too," Lori agreed. She strummed an E minor slowly, letting the sound resonate.