Sorry this took a bit longer then I intended. I didn't get to sleep on the five hour ride home like I expected and so I went to bed instead of writing. The shame! And this one didn't seem to want to be written…
Oh well. Enjoy and just so you know, next chapter is one of the things you all have been waiting for.
Neal looked out the window of his rented room, his knuckles white as he gripped the sill. How could a single place be both heaven and hell at the same time? Emma's here but she hates him. His son's here but has no clue who he is. His father is here looking like his papa but acting like the Dark One.
It was all too much. Neal knew something had to give soon or he would break into a million pieces, too small to be reassembled into anything resembling human (would that make him humpty-dumpty or did that particular story ready exist in this world?)
A knock sounded from the door and a part of Neal couldn't help but be excited thinking that maybe, just maybe, Emma was here to give him a chance to finish explaining, to tell her every truth he never wanted to say.
His hopes were dashed when he saw who was at the door. It was a dark haired woman in her late thirties or early forties, with a powerful, business like demeanor. But Neal had been in the same state enough times to recognize the deeper truth underneath. She had cracks along the edges, as if her world has recently shattered and she was struggling to hold it together.
"Mr. Cassidy?"
"Yeah, and you?" he said, careful to sound hostile.
"Regina Mills."
His eyes widened as he recognizing the name and he stepped aside, inviting her in.
"Henry's mom," he murmured and she seemed slightly surprised, as if most people had forgotten that fact since the curse broke. "Come in."
"To what do I owe the pleasure?"
It was odd, standing here talking to the woman—who was not Emma—who had raised his son for the last ten years. The woman who had been there for everything he wasn't. Or perhaps couldn't be. He was still wrestling with the true consequences of doing the 'right thing' so many years ago and he honestly doubted he would ever really forgive even if it was what had to be done for the bigger picture. Even if it was what he had to do to clean up his father's mess.
"I brought a fruit basket. I grew them myself."
She handed the peace offering to him and Neal couldn't help but be surprised at the contents. August had filled him in on just about everything and he had heard the stories.
"Apples?"
She looked down at the apples as the set the basket on the table.
"Perhaps that was a poor choice," she said, her voice strong, yet the cracks in her armor still showed. Or maybe Neal was just really good at seeing them.
"They're not poisoned," she reassured, but he hadn't been worried.
"I believe you," he said, grabbing one and taking a large bite. Juice trickled down his chin and he wiped it on the back of his sleeve. "Delicious. I must compliment your choice of fertilizer."
He wasn't even kidding. Those things were good and he had never been much of a fruit person.
She looked at him, surprised the he would even take it and his lips twitched. Right now Regina was one of the safest people in town to take an apple from. Everyone knew her fondness for the particular cures. If he suddenly started showing the same symptoms, the town's people would know exactly where to look and with how close he was to Henry…she gained nothing by risking it.
Besides, a small voice in the back of his mind reminded him, his true love was in town. If by some small chance she did decide to poison him, maybe it would be the catalyst needed to reach out to Emma—to get her to give him another chance.
"I'm not trying to be rude," he said, setting the rest of the apple down on the bedside table and looking Regina strait in the eyes, "but I've had a long day and would really appreciate it if you could go ahead and get to the real reason you're here."
Regina ran her hands over her skirt, smoothing it out. "I want to know what your intentions are towards my son."
Her voice gained strength as she talked about Henry and Neal couldn't help but be glad. It was clear she cared about him and the kid deserved that. He deserved to be loved by as many people as possible. He deserved never to be alone.
"What do you mean?" he asked, sitting on the edge of the bed, even though he already had an idea of what she meant.
"Let's not play games. I know that you are Henry's" she paused and swallowed, as if her next were logged in her throat, chocking her, "biological father."
Neal gave a harsh little laugh and ran his hands through his hair. "Does the whole town know?"
"Not Henry." Her words were measured and Neal couldn't tell if she took any pleasure in them. Either way, it didn't change the cutting truth.
Neal snorted, unable to keep the slightly bitter tone out of his voice.
"Miss Swan told me that you didn't know about him." Her voice had lost all hesitation and she was back to business—all back to that regal airs that she had probably learned as queen.
Neal could see through it all. She was ready to turn this into a pissing contest, but what Regina didn't know was that Neal wasn't a coward—that he would never allow himself to be one, even if this wasn't about his kid—and he sure as hell wasn't going to back down now.
He narrowed his eyes but kept his voice steady, careful not to sound like his was threatening her and yet making it clear that he wasn't playing. "She was right. If I had known things would have been different."
"Be that as it may," Regina said, walking over to the window. Neal knew enough about how to manipulate people to know what she was trying to do. "You're here now and I can't help but wonder why."
She was trying to get the upper hand, but Neal could play the game too.
"You seem like a smart woman. Seeing as how I didn't know about Henry, what other reason would I have to be here?"
"Miss Swan."
This conversation was skirting too close to a topic he didn't want to cover, so he changed the subject. This was none of her business and besides, enough people knew the truth about him and none of them were Emma. She should have been the first to know.
He was tired, he was getting cranky, and he figured it was time to cut through all the crap.
"So what you're really asking is if I'm going to turn this into a three way shit fest of a custody battle over Henry."
It was the only real reason she had to be here and by the way she looked at him, Neal knew he was right.
"If you want to put it that way, then yes, that's exactly what I'm asking."
Neal sighed. He wanted to be part of Henry's life more than anything, but not if that meant tearing his life apart at the seams in the process. Neal knew how it felt to be the caught up between a parent and their desires; he wasn't going to do that to the kid.
And just as much as he didn't want to do that to Henry, he didn't want to do that to Emma. He would never do something like that to her…not again. Neal knew he would walk away from this all before he even thought about trying to take the kid from her.
"I'm not going to do that," he said softly, "It wouldn't be fair to use him as the rope in a tug of war match between us three."
"I couldn't agree more."
Neal narrowed his eyes at his guest. He could hear the challenge in her voice, the unspoken 'then leave' and the last thing he wanted was for her to get the wrong impression about what his intentions really were.
"But now that I do know, I'm not leaving."
"I see." There was a slightly dejected tone in her voice and in that moment Neal could read her a lot better than she would have liked. For someone who was supposed to be so manipulative, she sure had a crappy poker face. She was worried that Neal was another person to compete for Henry's affections.
"Henry does love you."
Regina's face snapped towards him. Whatever she had been expecting to hear, this wasn't it.
"He said that?"
"He didn't have to," he said, thinking the fact should be obvious. When he saw her still confused look, he continued, "Look, all I know about you is what I've heard around town. The curse. The sleeping curses. The murders."
He paused and took a deep breath. According to August, this woman had tried to trap Emma in a fate worse than death and Henry had gotten caught in the middle. In fact, he had actually been pronounced dead in that hospital.
It was a difficult thing to get past, but he had to. Holding grudges never helped anything and besides, there was something about the entire situation that hit home to him in a way few others understood. He knew what it was like to be caught between a parent he loved and the magic that parent loved more. But there was one key difference between Henry's situation and his own.
"But one thing trumps all that—especially when it comes to the kid: you're trying."
Regina eyes widened and Neal figured that she wasn't exactly used to hearing this kind of thing. He was projecting his wishes onto the kid. If Gold tried to be a good person—even if the Dark One was still too much a part of him for Neal to truly get his papa back—it would make a world of difference.
And that was all that mattered.
"Henry's ten, he's too young to really understand this, but I think he will but that little bit of effort makes all the difference. You raised him—and he's a wonderful boy, so you must have done something right. Nothing will change that; no matter where he chooses to live or what happens next, your still his mother."
"You seem to know a lot about how this kind of thing," she said, the suspicion in her tone half hidden by the reappearing cracks in her armor. Even though she didn't know anything about Neal, he could tell his words meant a lot to her.
"Let's just say that I'm beginning to realize that Henry and I have more in common than I would have ever wanted for him."
"I see."
There was a flash of hope beneath her words—a flash that may be dangerous if not extinguished quickly. There would be no miscommunication here.
"Don't mistake me Miss Mills," he said getting her attention, "I'm not saying I'm backing out, or that Emma should do the same. All I'm saying is that I'm sure there's enough room in his life for all of us."
"He's my son." She whispered, in a defeated way that just didn't seem to mesh with the kind of woman she seemed to be.
"You're right. And, in a lot of ways," he choked on the next words, each one cutting into his heart with ever truth, "you might just be more his parent then either Emma or myself at the moment. Honestly, I don't know what I would do if the situation were reversed but that doesn't change the fact we are back in his life."
He sighed, his mind not wanting to consider what would that would have been like. What it would have felt like if he and Emma had made it to Tallahassee. If they had taken in a child and raised him as their own only to have…
But this wasn't about them. Not really.
"The best thing for Henry is for us—for all of us—to figure this out. The only way this will be fair to him is for us not to try and tear him apart."
Regina tried to hide it, but her cracks were deepening. Then again, they say you can't bullshit a bullshitter and Neal definitely fell into the latter category. He could see right through her and could see the hurt in her eyes.
"Maybe it would be best if you didn't see all this as us trying to take him from you. Maybe you don't have all his love any more, but he still has all yours… and mine and Emma's…even her parents are in on it. He has more now than a lot of people when it comes to these kinds of things, and that's the best we can give him."
She looked at him, in this odd combination of disbelief, gratitude, and relief before she spoke, "You're not what I expected, Mr. Cassidy."
"Should I take that as an insult or a compliment?" He asked, curious, as she reached the door.
"Take it however you wish."