Days. Weeks. A month. The battlefront spread as Aiden tried to push through their defenses. There had been a lot of minor skirmishes but the Storm pack was lucky. They all stuck together to keep Gabby safe and Gabby was highly protected by the Thompson pack and their allies as well. She was their only chance of defeating the Coward Alpha if he showed his face. The war had barely begun and already fear and sadness hung heavy over the pack. The boarders held, however, and there was hope mixed in with the fear. There was hope that with Gabby, Aiden would fall and his reign of terror would end.
Gracie came into the lounge where the pack was waiting. She had called a meeting but had been secretive about what. She immediately began handing out folders with detailed plans for once more raiding the compound but this time as a full frontal attack. As Gabby's second, Gracie had been in the Intel meetings with the Alphas from the start.
"What is this?" Ralph asked as he flipped through the pages.
"A plan."
"For what?" Saffron asked,eyeballing the papers.
"For another raid." Gabby answered for her as she flipped through the pages. "You want to attack him outright."
"We've done enough dancing around. It's time to hit and hit hard. If we don't start doing some serious damage, he's gonna come down hard on us. We should take the fight to him."
They all looked at her in shock. No one wanted to be in a war. No one wanted to be the first to charge in or the first one to die. They had all kind of just assumed they would wait until Aiden set his forces against theirs. They assumed they would fight to defend. They hadn't thought of bringing the fight to him. Gabby looked over the plan.
"There are too many things that could go wrong. If our spies were outed and he found out about our plan, it would be a blood bath. None of us would survive."
"That won't happen." Gracie replied with assurance.
"How do you know?" Gabby asked. "There are too many variables here."
"There were too many variables in your plan but we pulled it off." Raph pointed out.
"That was different." Gabby said.
"No it wasn't." Raph said. He agreed with Gracie. It was time to bring the fight to them.
"The whole pack will be in danger." Gabby protested. They wouldn't all make it out of there alive. She had lost so much in her short life. Why did she have to lose more?
"The pack is in danger as long as that asshole's alive. We gotta do somethin' before he does." Ralph said.
"I can't believe you're agreeing to this." Gabby said. "Especially after fighting me tooth and nail when I thought we should do a raid."
Ralph knew he was in dangerous territory here. What could he say to her that would make her understand? The fear of an attack by the tyrant had been growing in him. If they attacked first, they might be able to catch him by surprise and spare the lives of his pack and their allies. Plus he would be there to keep an eye on everyone. Gabby wouldn't be off on her own this time around.
"The timing was off before." Ralph tried lamely.
"Really?" She asked menacingly. She was giving him a chance to change out his answer for a better one.
"It's different now." He tried again.
"Why? What's so much better about my sisters plan? Is it cuz we all get to stick together?"
"We're stronger together." He replied.
"Great. Yeah. Let's do it. Let's run in there together and you know what? It'll be really beautiful WHEN WE ALL DIE TOGETHER!" Gabby stood and stormed out of the room. She was boiling mad. It took her a few minutes to realize why. She was terrified. She knew both Raph and Carl would support this plan. Gracie had done her homework and was just as good a strategist as anyone in the pack. Gabby hadn't named her as her second for nothing. No, it was a solid plan and a smart move. It did, however, ride on Gabby's ability to keep Aiden's powers in check. The last time she had come up against him she had failed without much effort from Aiden. He had toyed with her then and she was terrified beyond any fear she had ever felt. What if she failed? They would all die because of her and then she would be taken and bred and everything she wanted and loved in the world would be lost to her forever. Now that she was faced with it, she couldn't bear it.
Gabby made it to her room and began to pace, Trying to hold the panic at bay. Her door opened and closed and she could feel the thunderous anger coming off of Raph. It only served to agitate her further.
"You hurt Gracie's feelings." He said flatly.
"She'll live." Gabby bit back.
"You were out of line." He pushed.
"Now you know how I feel ninety percent of the time." She jabbed at him, making him more angry.
"What the hells the matter with you?" He growled. He didn't understand why she was so set against this. She wanted to raid Aiden's compound in the first place, why not again?
"What's the matter with me?" She asked incredulously. "I think the better question is what's the matter with you? You want nothing to do with my plan but Gracie pops one out and you're ready to charge off into battle. Maybe you would prefer HER as your She-Alpha!"
"At least she would be reasonable!" He yelled back, finally rising to the bait.
"Great! Why don't you and her go plan up some more ways to get yourselves killed. Leave me out of it. Oh, and good luck beating Aiden without ME! Or did you forget that thing he does with his mind? You know, where no one can move or do anything? Yeah. Good luck with that." Her sarcasm was dripping and Raph was furious at her goading.
"I WILL order you." He threatened.
"Okay, Aiden." She spat.
Raph had her up against her wall in an instant. "Don't you ever compare me to that piece of shit." He said, deathly quiet.
"What are you gonna do?" She mocked cruelly. "You gonna hurt me? Do it. Show me how much like him you are."
Raph couldn't do it anymore. How such contempt and meanness could come from the same person who had held him together at his lowest and cooed to babies and reassured the sick and the scared was beyond him. He released her and left, leaving her to her own fear and now self loathing. She hadn't really meant anything she had said to him. It was just easier, less painful, to make everything his fault and to point the finger at him than it was to own up to her own fear and her disappointment in herself for succumbing to it. With a loud, anguished cry she shifted to her wolf form and ran for the woods. Her bonds all lit up with the calls from her pack and her family but she sealed them, making sure the only information they would get was that she was still alive. How could she face them? How could she call herself She-Alpha? She couldn't beat Aiden and she couldn't even keep a cool head. She was a failure. All of this had been for nothing and would always be for nothing. She would never be strong enough to beat Aiden. He had been using his mind for many years longer than she had used hers and he had no weakness where her own pack was hers and he knew it. She stopped running and sat down, raising a muzzle to the darkening sky and howling her despair until she felt empty. She couldn't go back to them. She couldn't be the savior they needed. They were all doomed.
Three days passed. Raph was worried. He had been angry at first. She had said some truly horrible things to him and he had reacted as anyone probably would have but Ronnie and Gracie had both asked him what had happened and when he told them both of them had shaken their heads.
"That's not like Gabby." They said. "Somethings wrong." They had hoped she would take a few hours to work through it and then return home to talk it out, but when she hadn't returned or released her bonds by the next morning, they knew something was really wrong. They began looking for her but she didn't want to be found. She was using her tricks to keep them off of her trail. The thing with wolves, however, is that they expect to be tracked by scent. On the third day, desperate and running out of options, Raph took to the forest and he tracked her himself, with only the use of his eyes and his gut instinct. He must have been lucky because the wind was just right and his silent stalking went undetected. He came upon her, dirty and tired, resting on the banks of the stream. Having the element of surprise, he burst out of hiding and tackled the she wolf to the ground just as she had lunged to her feet. She writhed but she had no energy and she was quickly subdued.
"Shift." He commanded and her body reshape into that of a woman. Her skin was dirty and dark circles marked under her eyes. He had never seen her look so defeated and for the first time since meeting her, he was afraid for her. The conversation he was planning on having with her was immediately put on the back burner. She needed some food and some rest before they got into that. He quickly lifted her into his arms, keeping a secure grip on her in case she decided shifting and bolting was a viable option. The rigidity of her muscles was an indication that he was on the right track.
Raph brought her back to her room, shooing off the rest of the pack as they attempted to get to her. He even sent Brandy away, knowing Gabby needed rest. They entered her room and he immediately began filling the bath tub. Her longing glance toward the swirling water told Raph that was the best move he could have made. He made sure to always stay between her and the exit which meant crowding her back against the counter as he gathered the stuff she would need. He felt her breath hitch at his proximity a few times, like his closeness was causing her physical pain, but he knew Gabby and he knew that for some reason, his closeness was making her want to cry. He needed her to do that right now. He needed her to be vulnerable so he could help her fix whatever was wrong. He crowded her towards the tub and once they were beside it, he began to strip her of her clothing, piece by piece until she was naked before him. He tenderly brushed her curls back as a tear slid down her cheek and her chin trembled. She looked down, ashamed as a sob finally broke through. Raph pulled her close to him and she rested her forehead on his chest, sobs wracking her body. He lifted her and slid into the bath, clothes and all. He laid back so she could lay comfortably on his chest as she had done many times when one of them needed the others comfort. His hands traced down her back and across her shoulders. His fingers trailed warm water over her skin. He soaped up a wash cloth and began washing away the dirt. It would have been an extremely sensual experience had it not been such a scary and desperate situation. Her sobs slowed to ragged breathing and he shifted her so her head was tucked under his chin and his arms cradled her, like a parent would cradle a child. They didn't speak. Raph knew she didn't have the words to explain anything right now and at the moment he didn't need them. What he needed was for her to feel safe with him. He needed her to feel how loved she was and how much they all needed and wanted her there even though she had made a mistake.
They stayed there until the water began to cool. Raph called an Omega, Bethany, to come and attend to them. She brought him fresh clothes and enough food to feed three grown wolves and then she dismissed herself. Raph climbed out of the water, bringing Gabby with him. They both dried off and changed into some fresh clothes. Raph made Gabby put on pajamas and then he crawled into bed with her and the tray of food. He handed her food and she ate over half of the tray. She must not have eaten at all out in the forest. When she started slowing down, he joined her in her meal and finished off what she didn't eat. He set aside the tray as her eyes started drooping. He readjusted so she would be sleeping on top of him and stroking her hair, he finally spoke.
"Sleep, Gabby. You'll be safe with me." He said softly. Her tight hold on her bonds released and he was flooded with relief. She was starting to open up. His pack wisely kept their bonds to her quiet as she drifted off. Raph settled in as her breath deepened into slumber. He hoped that when she woke up, he'd be able to get some answers.
When Gabby finally woke, the sun had just sunk below the trees in the forest. She felt groggy and disoriented, but her memory quickly returned. She didn't want to raise her head and face her Alpha. She didn't want to have the conversation she knew he would want to have. She didn't want him to know how desperately afraid of Aiden she really was.
"I'm going to go talk to my mom." She said quietly and she slipped away from him and out of the bed. He let her go. They would have their conversation before she headed back to bed. He would make sure of it.
Gabby found her mother sitting in the lounge, talking to Splinter. Splinter smiled kindly at her as she walked in hesitantly. She sat on the couch and cuddled up to her mom who wrapped her up in a tight hug. Splinter stood to leave.
"You can stay." Gabby said. She knew he was a wise man and maybe he could help calm her fears. Splinter sat back down and waited patiently.
"What's bothering you, baby?" Brandy asked, rocking her back and forth.
"I'm scared." She said, her voice trembling. "He's too strong. I can't beat him. If we go there everyone will die and it will be all my fault." Tears began coursing down her cheeks again.
"Gabby, if anyone dies because of Aiden then it's no ones fault but his." Brandy said.
"But I could protect everyone, and if he gets past me then it means I failed everyone." She sniffled.
"I don't think you'll fail." Brandy said to her daughter.
"He beat me before with hardly any effort." Gabby said.
"You were on heat." Brandy reminded her. "You were distracted, and you hadn't even started to really use your gift as a weapon and a defense. You've come a long way since then."
"And I believe you have an advantage over him." Splinter said. "You have a family who loves and believes in you. You will face him someday, Gabriela, and when you do you will succeed."
Their faith in her made Gabby's heart swell with love. She was still afraid, but it somehow felt more bearable knowing that the elders in her pack believed in her abilities and wouldn't blame her if she were overpowered by him. She still wasn't sure of her own prowess but her mothers warm embrace and comforting words took the edge off of her terror and made it something more manageable.
"Whatever happens, you won't be alone." Brandy promised her daughter.
"Thanks, mom." Gabby said.
"I love you. I always have and I always will, but now I think you have a few apologies to make." Brandy said.
Gabby straightened and wiped tears from her eyes. She knew she needed to fix things with both her Alpha and her sister. Raph was right. Gabby knew she must have hurt Gracie's feelings by doubting her plans. She gave her mom one last hug and headed out for her room.
"Poor child." Splinter said. "She carries great responsibility for one so young, but she has great strength and power. If she would only believe in herself, I believe there is nothing she couldn't overcome."
"She's got her father's spirit." Brandy said. "He was a great leader and a fierce opponent. She'll overcome this. I know she will."
Gabby entered Gracie's room tentatively, unsure of the reception she would receive. She had barely entered when she was nearly tackled, long light brown hair blotted out her view.
"I'm sorry." Gabby said as she returned her tight embrace. "It's not that I doubt your plan…"
"You're afraid. I know." Gracie said. "I am too. I don't like the idea of facing him and putting us at risk of being recaptured either but we need to do something Gabby, and taking him by surprise is our best shot at getting out of there alive while still causing enough damage to him to make a difference."
"I know." Gabby said. "I'm just worried he will overpower me again. He's stronger than me, Gracie."
Gracie cradled her sisters face between her hands. "I've seen the stuff you've been through, Gabby. There's no one stronger than you."
"You didn't run away for three days." Gabby pointed out.
"You're right, but I don't have the scars you have. And I don't have the responsibility you have. People break sometimes. It's when they decide to pull themselves together and keep pushing that you see their real strength. I've seen you pick yourself up so many times. I know how strong you are. Even if you can't see it yourself."
Gabby worked to swallow the lump in her throat as she embraced her sister again. How was she so lucky to have a family that believed in her so much.
"I knew there was a reason you're my favorite sister." Gabby said, her voice thick with emotion.
"I'm your only sister. And I'm awesome." Gracie smiled. She pulled back and looker her in the eye. "And as long as I'm alive, you won't be alone in this."
Gabby gave her a watery smile. "I love you." She said.
"I love you too. Now go talk to your boyfriend." She said, pushing her out the door.
"Not my boyfriend." She called to the closing door. Gracie had been teasing her with that for a few weeks now. She shook her head and her heart kicked up a notch as she contemplated facing her alpha and friend. She had been truly cruel comparing him to the monstrosity that was Aiden. She felt especially guilty since he had brought her home, fed her, bathed her, and hadn't grilled her like she deserved. She walked back to her room, knowing he wouldn't have left. He would wait for her to return. She knew he wouldn't let this conversation slide.
Gabby opened and closed the door, keeping her eyes averted until she couldn't avoid him any longer. She looked at him, still laying in her bed. He seemed relaxed, patient. She marveled at how far he had come since she had first met him, like a piece of him had settled and stabilized. She felt so guilty standing before him like she was. The way he looked at her made her feel like he could see right into her soul. It almost overwhelmed her and made her feel particularly vulnerable. She finally met his eye.
Raph watched Gabby come in. She looked skittish and unsure so he didn't attempt to get up. He didn't want her to feel threatened or like he was looking down on her. He just looked at her, waiting. She fidgeted under his gaze but her eyes finally came up, dark and sad. His heart leapt into his throat and all he wanted to do was grab her and hold her tight 'til everything was better. Instead he brushed her bond with his, letting her feel his concern for her wellbeing and his willingness to help in any way he could.
Gabby felt Raph's concern and again guilt washed over her. "You deserve better." She said, looking at the floor to escape his penetrating gaze.
"You're exactly what this pack deserves, and you're exactly what I need." Raph replied, sitting up and facing her. "You're the strongest girl I know. You take your responsibilities seriously. You're a patient teacher. If anyone's not deserving someone, it's me who don't deserve you. I've really made a mess of things more than once and you were always there to clean up after me. You never left me alone in this and I ain't about to leave you alone now. Whatever's goin' on, we'll fix it. Together. As a team." Raph said. He heard her breath hitch as she tried not to burst into tears for the millionth time in the last twenty-four hours. "C'mere." He said, holding out a hand to her and she didn't hesitate. She crawled into her bed and right into her alphas arms where she always seemed to be able to find a measure of peace, no matter what was happening.
"Now tell me what got you all upset." He said as he tucker her in close to his chest, resting his cheek on her head.
Gabby knew she didn't have the words to explain to him the absolute and unending fear she had for her old Alpha. A large part of her didn't want him to know, but there was a pice of her that wanted to let him in, that wanted to share the burden of the fear. She linked their bond and showed him.
Raph knew Aiden was a nasty piece of work and he knew Gabby had suffered greatly at his hands but she had never shown how afraid of him she really was. She had never physically trembled at the mention of him the way her mind quivered now at the thought of him. He had never seen her flinch at his memory the way her mind flinched at his mention. She streamed to him her feelings of inadequacy and inferiority and how afraid she was that she would fail everyone and her and her packs lives would be over once the raid had concluded. He hadn't known a person could feel that much panic. Raph, however, would do what he could to ease her fears and so he let his belief in her well up and flow down their bond along with his love and pride in her. She relaxed in his arms and her tears ceased to flow. Her peace came, as it always did with him.
Raph stayed with her that night, as they were in the habit of doing when stuff went sideways. She woke well into the morning to the feeling of him climbing back into the bed to cuddle her. She wondered where he had been and why he had returned if he had already been up. She rolled or face him only to see him propped up on his elbow giving her an excited grin. She gave him a suspicious look.
"What?" She asked. He held out his fist in response and when he opened his hand her heart melted. It was the hand carved wooden statue she had requested. She had forgotten about asking for it but apparently he had not. She sat up and reverently took the beautiful piece from him. It was carved in absolute and unerring detail, so much so that it felt alive.
"Wow, Raph." Gabby said, looking at him. "This is perfect. Thank you." He looked down, embarrassed by her gratitude but he was smiling softly at her. Her stomach dropped as she looked at him and realized she wanted nothing more than to kiss him soundly. Sadness swallowed her joy and in a bittersweet moment she gave him a soft smile and brushed his cheek with her fingertips. Then she retreated. She rolled out of bed and displayed the carving on her nightstand and then headed to the bathroom to take a bath, slamming the door closed which she would normally not do. She needed to get away from him, from all of the wrong emotions he dredged up in her. She was falling for him and it was paramount that she never do that. She wouldn't even let herself wonder if he was feeling the same way. The thought of that was unbearable. Anger welled up in her and her heart hardened as she sunk into the swirling water. She would go on is raid alright. And Aiden would pay for every ounce of pain he had ever inflicted on her and was inflicting on her still.
When Gabby slammed her bathroom door, Raph immediately scrambled from the bed and went to see what was wrong. He had thought giving her the whitetail carving would have been a nice surprise. He tested their bond and while she had not closed it to him he could feel the change in her. She had hardened herself. It felt a lot like when he had first bonded to her. She was angry and a sheath of determination and vengeance covered the entire flavor of her bond. Raph halted at the door, his mind racing. What could he do? He didn't know what had caused her mood to change so suddenly and invading her space could potentially just make things worse. With a heavy sigh he just walked away.
It took a couple weeks for them to get everything together and a distance had grown between Gabby and Raph since he had given her his carving. She avoided him when she could, and when she couldn't, she acted like a comrade in arms instead of a packmate, She-Alpha, and friend. It cut him to his core each time he offered her a welcoming smile and she would only nod her hello and look away like he was just some other guy, some other member of the crew that worked to bring Aiden down. The change filtered down through the pack as the wolves separated slightly from the turtles as they tried to support and train their she-alpha. The turtles themselves spent a lot more time together without the rest of their pack because they were involved with helping Raph pull together all of the elements of the raid. All in all it was a tense and miserable two weeks for everyone except Gabby, who had closed herself off emotionally in favor of stone cold determination. She didn't think about love or support or anything other than what she was working on right at that moment. Any pang of guilt she felt while she drove into her family and friends minds as she trained was ruthlessly pushed aside and when training was done she left her pack behind to train physically. She hardly ate or slept for a week before Raph stepped in and ordered it for her health.
"You need to be done for the day." A voice penetrated her concentration. He spoke vocally and trough their bond at the same time. She wondered when he had learned to do that and for a second she wished she had been the one to teach him before she pushed it away and turned to anger.
"I have to train or I won't be able to compete with him." She said flatly while she attempted to push into the minds of three of her pack members at once.
"If you don't eat and rest you ain't gonna be able to beat him anyway. You need your strength."
"I'm fine."
"Just go get some food." He persisted.
"I can take care of myself." She ground out.
"Go get some food."
"I'm busy."
"Go eat!" He finally commanded.
"Fuck off Raph!" She yelled at him even as she walked away, heading for the kitchen. Raph watched her go, arms crossed, face stony. Brandy came to stand by him.
"Thank you Raph." She said. "My daughter is not herself lately. You're right. She won't be able to fight him if she doesn't get some food and some rest. Keep on her until the raid."
Raph just nodded and the three packmates that had been helping Gabby left. Only then did Raph allow himself a moment of weakness. He covered his eyes and shook his head. His friend was slipping away from him and he didn't know what to do. He straightened his shoulders and set his expression back to neutral. He would talk to Splinter. He would know what to do.
Splinter was meditating in his room when Raph knocked. He welcomed his son in and patted a cushion by him. Raph sat across from his father and looked at him. "I don't know what to do about Gabby." He said.
"I have also noticed the change in her." Splinter said. "She seems distant and on edge."
"I try to talk to her but she just won't. It's like she doesn't even wanna know me anymore. Or anyone else for that matter."
"I believe she is trying to defend herself." Splinter speculated. "She has been under a lot of pressure lately."
"But we're friends." He replied. "Why's she acting like that to me too?"
"We may never know what she's thinking." Splinter said.
"What do I do, dad?" Raph asked, his eyes pleading. Splinter put his hand on his sons shoulder.
"Follow her lead. If she needs to feel distanced from you then allow her to feel distanced. Treat her as an acquaintance rather than a friend. Perhaps if she feels like there is no pressure from you then she will act less hostile."
"It's worth a try." Raph said