A/N: My goodness guys, here comes a wammie right here. My goodness... dont hate me! (anymore than you already do ;))

Chapter 18

Two weeks. Fourteen days without him. Three hundred twenty-seven hours since I saw him last. I've been in a hospital. I'm still here because I have no home. They tell me I can leave, go anywhere I like, but they want to interview me. But I don't know when, and I don't know if I want to. I've been haunted by his dying face enough. I can't relive those moments. And there's a secret I might have to tell if I do the interview. I pace around my room for another hour, trying to think of something else. I fail. I suddenly feel sick, whether it's the smell of lunch cooking or the thought of all the blood, and run to the toilet. I lose my breakfast and gasp for air. When I get up to clean myself, I accidently glance at the mirror. My blonde hair has grown in at the roots of my dyed head. Although I brushed it last night, my hair is an untamed mess. My eyes are starting to get bags underneath them; they're rimmed with red. I'm wearing the standard medical dress thing over a simple tee-shirt and some sweat pants. I look sad. Sick. I quickly turn away. I walk out in my main room to find my prep team waiting for me. They all smile at me.

"Congratulations!" Merimee sings.

It's followed by many more cheers from my prep team. I smile in the slightest. I don't feel like I should be congratulated. I feel like crap and I want to die, but I know I can't.

"Your interview's today!" Rhoda cheers.

They take me to a car outside and we drive to the studio where the interviews take place, since the Remake Center is being destroyed. They take me to a room lined with mirrors and something that looks like a dentist chair. They tell me to sit in that chair. I obey. And soon my eyebrows are as pin pointed as they were when I began this whole experience. They begin applying make-up. Light green eye shadow with grey eyeliner hides my sad eyes. Light pink lipstick with dashes of light green tints makes my poker face look almost joyful. And it feels like pounds of cover up disguises my tiredness. Next comes the hair. They ask me if I want my hair to grow out in its natural colors. I don't really care, but I feel like my old hair dye is too young for me. They decide to temporarily dye my roots black and white. Then they cut my hair to get rid of the split ends. My hair is styled into two braids that form a crown around my head, leaving the white part of my hair down. Green circular jewels are sprinkled in my braids. They make me get up and fit me in my dress. It has a sweet heart neck-line, edged with white lace. There's some sort of belt made of lace leading to the skirt of my dress which is like a ballerina's skirt. My heels are light green ribbons laced up to the middle of my shin.

When they finish, they lead me to the room where my interview will be taking place. I sit in the chair and wait for Caesar to arrive.

Tigris walks in to make sure I look good. She makes me stand, and turn around, sit down and position the dress to make it look "camera-worthy."

Then she surprises me, "Look, Esmerelda, I know you miss him, but I need to you to smile."

I lift the edge of my mouth a little.

She practically hisses at me, "I need you to smile like you mean it."

I try to do something with my lips, but it probably looks like I'm baring my teeth.

"Imagine you're talking to him, when you talk to Caesar," she suggests.

"I can't."

"Yes, you can."

"I'll just start crying," I whine.

"Don't you dare," she says. "Do you know how long it took me to pick the perfect shade, and show those fools how to place it perfectly on your eyelid? If you cry, you will ruin a master piece."

"Selfish much?" I'm not in a good mood.

"Esmerelda? Would he want you to smile?"

I pause. I think of his sweet smile, his wonderful eyes, and his soft lips. I almost smile.

"How about instead of smiling at him, imagine you're giving him one last smile. One last notion of love."

I think about this for what seems like forever. Then Caesar sits next to me.

"Are you ready for this Esmerelda?" he flashes me his brilliant TV smile.

I nod slightly.

"Remember to smile," Tigris hisses as she struts away.

Caesar fixes his suit, and I just feel inclined to smoothen out my dress. The camera moves to shoot both of us. Caesar tests out his smile on the camera, and the camera man gives him a thumbs-up. Then the director starts a countdown.

"Three… Two…" Then he mouths the number One, and points to Caesar.

"Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to what will make the end of the Hunger Games forever. I'm here with Esmerelda Snow, the victor of the last Hunger Games." All of a sudden he turns to me, "So, Esmerelda, congratulations."

I smile a little, "Thanks."

"How does it feel to be the last victor to ever walk the earth?"

"Not how I thought it would," I answer.

"Hmm…" is all he says in reply. "Let's watch some highlights and talk about those."

Oh no, I don't want to watch it. Not one minute of it. A screen comes to life above the camera. A view of the cornucopia appears. The tributes rise from the ground and I see me in the middle of it. I see the girl fall on the mines and Hunger Games start and everyone running. The video cuts to when I find Mercury.

"So, how scared were you?" Caesar asks in a humorous fashion. Although, nothing about this thing is humorous.

"I was terrified," I try to laugh, to feed off of his positive energy, but I'm too numb. "He couldn't remember a thing." He was lucky. I wish I couldn't remember.

"You looked extremely disappointed when you found out he couldn't remember, why?"

"Oh," I start to stutter, "Y-you know, he wouldn't remember me, his partner, and what if he went totally feral, and attacked us?"

We go over many moments like this, meeting Rom, fighting Tiamy at the river, Telly's death, the mutt, and the cave.

Then, Caesar goes onto the next clip.

Mercury's death.

Before it starts playing, I say, "Look, I-I don't know if I can-"

"It's alright, sweetheart," Caesar says. "You can do it, for the audience."

But I don't want to watch this video for the audience. I want to go far, far away from anything that can hurt me again.

He continues to play the clip.

I see Balthazar holding me over the river. I grabbed onto the branch, he let go, and before I knew it, Balthazar was in the lava. Then I see myself realize that we were the last two. Tears form in my eyes as we kiss, and I look away before the knife enters his stomach. The clip ends and there's a strange silence for fifteen seconds. I feel Caesar's arm go around me.

"Are you alright?" he asks.

I nod and pretend I wasn't crying, although my makeup is probably smudged. I smooth out my dress for no particular reason, and clear my throat.

"How was it?" he breaks the silence. "Losing him, I mean."

I think a lot before answering. "It was the worst possible feeling anyone could have ever felt. I would rather be left to the lava with Balthazar."

He looks surprised at my answer. "Do you miss him?"

"A lot. Although he left something behind for me."

"And what is that?"

"I- I'm afraid that's private."

"Okay," he puts his hand on my knee. "That's all for tonight. Thank you, Esmerelda, for being with us tonight."

"You're welcome," I reply softly.

"Good night everyone." He waves at the camera.

The director yells, "That's a wrap!"

I'm rushed away. When I get back to the hospital, I'm told, I have to pack up as much as I can and pick a place to move. I change out of my interview clothes, wash away my make up, and change into something comfortable. I catch myself in the mirror again. This time I don't look at my face. I look at the small bump growing in my stomach. Mercury did leave something behind… I'm pregnant.