Waiting on the siege

Sharon's viewpoint

I was sitting in my office, pretending to work but really staring at nothing very much. Brenda was leading her squad into a lethal situation and there was nothing I could do about it. I was scared for her and more than a little concerned that I was behaving like a girl with a crush, not a senior officer in the LAPD.

I was so absorbed in my thoughts that it wasn't until I heard them knock that I was aware I had visitors. I looked up to see Maura and Natalie standing in my door, both looking about as well as I felt. I noticed they were both holding handbags.

"Oh hello, what brings you here" Natalie didn't mince around.

"The same thing you're thinking about" I blinked.

"What do you mean?"

"What's about to happen downtown" Like they had to remind me.

"Well yes; so?"

"Maura suggested that we go get a coffee, out of the building. Way out of the building" I frowned, I wasn't following them.

"What do you mean?" Maura turned an exasperated look on me.

"I mean about a mile or so from where they are" Ah. Now I understood what they were suggesting. Natalie jumped in.

"Look Sharon, when this is over, there's likely to be a dead sniper, so Maura will need to be there, shot by a police officer, so you will need to be there as it'll be a FID case, and someone's going to have to talk to the media so…"

"So you think it's appropriate that we be near there, just not on the scene?"

"Absolutely"

"Totally"

"Certainly, let's go" I grabbed my bag.

The trip passed mostly in silence, until we were sitting in a coffee shop a few suburbs from the disused bakery. We ordered coffees and once they arrived we sat there, just staring into them. Finally Maura broke the silence.

"I watched Jane pull on a vest before she left, even though we both knew it would not stop a 50 calibre projectile" Natalie signed.

"I thought the same thing when I saw Ana wearing hers" I looked at them, both lost in thought.

"What did you say to them?" They both looked at me, obviously struggling. Maura looked back to her coffee.

"Be careful" Natalie looked out the window, then back at me.

"Be safe. What did you say to Brenda?"

"I didn't say anything, but I kept thinking come back to me" Natalie nodded. There was silence for a long moment as we each lost ourselves in our thoughts then she spoke again, softly.

"Aren't we a right mess?" I looked up at her.

"Yes" She looked levelly back at me.

"This is what we get for falling for the brave ones" Maura looked up from the coffee.

"I've seen Jane almost die once. I sat by the bed for days after she put a bullet through her chest to save her brother and me. I do not think I can do that again" Natalie looked out the window at the passing traffic, her voice reflective.

"Ana took a knife in the chest from a cornered sex slaver before she put two shots through his head. She spent two weeks in intensive care while it was touch and go. I don't want to do that again ever" I snorted.

"Neither of you are actually helping here. You're supposed to be positive role models for anyone entering a relationship with a police officer" Natalie sighed.

"I think you've got the wrong women" I looked at both of them, understanding what was worrying them. Weaver hated beautiful women and all three of the women we cared for were exceptionally beautiful, each in their own way. I knew if Weaver saw them she would take a shot at them. I kept thinking of Brenda dead, just like Nicki Black had been, sprawled in the road without a face.

Finally Natalie just sighed deeply before speaking.

"My god, this is like a wake and for all we know the whole thing will go down without a shot being fired" I shrugged.

"Do you believe that?" Natalie tried to smile, not her best effort, but it was a start.

"Hope springs eternal" Maura smiled slightly, raising an eyebrow.

"I believe the appropriate response is hope is illogical" Natalie's jaw practically bounced off the table, with mine right behind it.

"You watch Star Trek?" Maura blushed.

"Jane likes action movies and science fiction, so we went and saw Star Trek at the theatre" Natalie smiled, a much more normal approximation of her usual.

"Well that checks both boxes, although I rather preferred the earlier series" Half paying attention, I nodded.

"I didn't mind them, but I actually preferred the later series, Voyager in particular" Natalie snorted.

"Figures, a strong female authority figure and a hot blonde" I smiled, thinking this was an insane discussion to be having while Brenda was in danger, but I understood that we had to do something to try and take our minds off what was happening not too far away.

"That wasn't the reason. Well, not the only reason. I liked the fact that they had a captain who was female and strong and who didn't have to be a bitch to be the boss" Natalie couldn't let it go.

"And a hot blonde in a skin tight catsuit had nothing to do with it? As if" I could tell that Maura wasn't following us so I tried to explain.

"Maura, in Star Trek: Voyager, a Starfleet ship gets lost in a different part of the galaxy and has to make a decade-long trip back home. The captain was a woman, a strong character while still being a woman" Natalie jumped in.

"It had some strong storylines, but ratings weren't great, so they introduced a Borg character, who had been a human girl before being assimilated, turned into one of the Borg" Maura nodded, indicating she at least knew some of the background.

"Anyway at the end of the episode where she was introduced they stripped all the Borg bits from her and presented her as a flawless stacked blonde in a skin tight silver costume, basically a blatant play for the male demographic" She smirked. "Of course it worked" I smiled.

"Who needs characterisation, plot, character development, drama? Seven of Nine's appearance proved was that all you need to hook the Star Trek demographic is a stunning blonde in tight clothing" Natalie sniggered.

"Not just the Star Trek fans either. Maura and I know two people who don't object to that; and I'm pretty sure you wouldn't object to Brenda in something similar" I smiled softly, filing that image away for another time. Maura smiled gently back at us, toying with her cup.

"There is something to be said for a brunette in something similar" Natalie grinned.

"Well Ana has the hots for the Black Widow, I mean Scarlett Johansson as a redhead in a skin-tight costume, what's not to like" Maura smiled.

"There is much to be said for an attractive, strong role model. Jane rather appreciates Angelina Jolie as Lara Croft, even though she is not too complimentary about the realism of some of the gunplay" I couldn't help it, there was no way I was going to let that statement go unchallenged.

"Hang on; you're talking about Lara Croft and realism in the same sentence?" Maura at least had the grace to look a bit shame-faced.

"Well, it is Jane's choice, not mine" Natalie smiled indulgently.

"So who's your choice as an action hero role model then Maura?" She paused for a moment, obviously considering her choice before continuing quietly.

"I rather like Kate Beckinsale as Selene in the Underworld movies. I like the idea of a women walking away from her previous life to pursue love" I smiled.

"Not to mention she looks incredibly hot in a latex catsuit and corset" Maura tilted her head to regard me, with a small smile playing on her lips.

"Well yes, there is that. What about you Sharon, you must have one as well" I took a sip of my coffee before answering.

"I suppose I do, in the traditional sense it was Wonder Woman when I was growing up, I mean she one of the first female superheroes and there weren't a lot of female action heroes back then. After that, well the next big one was probably Sigourney Weaver in Alien and the sequel. I didn't like the others but in those two movies; well she was the hero, which was a rarity I suppose"

"These days, well I'm a fan of Mila Jovovich. Her Resident Evil movies are a really guilty pleasure. I've never told a soul that I've watched them, and I'll deny it if you repeat it to anyone" They both nodded.

"Anyway there was this other movie, Ultraviolet, where she plays a kind of vampire, not the Twilight kind, more a victim of a disease, anyway, she's fighting to save a child, which I can completely understand. Besides, she wears the most amazing outfits, mostly crop tops and tight pants, so it's really an extended homage to her pretty sensational abs" Natalie smiled.

"Looks like I know what the next movie night's going to be at our house" Maura turned to look at her.

"Well, Sharon and I have explained our choices, who might yours be?" Nat chewed her lip for a moment.

"Well, Trinity from the Matrix movies. She was willing to do anything, to follow her destiny to find love. I can appreciate that" I rolled my eyes at her.

"Another hot woman in a catsuit, I'm seeing a trend here"

"C'mon Sharon, there's nothing wrong with that. I've seen Ana in one and I'll never forget that particular night" I just looked at her, raising an eyebrow, and waited. She looked over at Maura to see her staring at her as well.

"Oh ok" She smiled softly in remembrance.

"Well it was a television or movie fancy dress party and we decided to go as Catwoman and Marilyn Monroe. I did the whole Gentlemen Prefer Blonde's red dress, 50s hair and dripping in fake jewellery, Ana got a latex cat suit and a domino mask from a fetish shop, cat's ears headband and teamed it with a whip and a pair of the most ridiculously high stiletto-heeled leather boots you could find. It was the first time a lot of people had ever seen her outside work suits and their reaction was…um, positive"

"Positive, in what way?" I'm glad Maura asked that because I was just about to.

"I ended having to get very territorial, a couple of people wouldn't take no for an answer. One guy didn't believe that we were an item and Ana almost slugged him. Fortunately I stepped in to demonstrate that we were very much an item thank you very much. He got the hint. The other was a woman dressed as Alice in Wonderland; I ended up 'accidently' spilling my glass of wine all over her" I laughed.

"That's hardly diplomatic of you Natalie"

"Yeah, well she was hitting on my girlfriend and when Ana pointed out that I was her girlfriend standing right there she suggested that Ana dump me as she would be a lot more fun than some dumb blonde" Maura grinned.

"Ooh, nasty"

"I apologised to Ana, but she told me she liked seeing me being territorial when she was being hit on. It was a strange feeling; normally it's the other way round. It made me understand what she sometimes has to go through and ever since I've gone out of my way to make sure that I turn down offers pretty hard, to make sure people get the message the first time" She shrugged.

"Can't say as I blame people though, that costume really emphasised her body, it was probably a size too small and there wasn't much left to the imagination" Maura smiled gently.

"I know what you mean, Jane and I were at an annual Boston PD fancy dress party last year, I went as a police officer in an extremely tightly-tailored version of the Boston police uniform, to be honest I was going through a rough patch at the time and wanted to attract some attention, to be admired. Jane went in naughty nurse's costume, her then boyfriend was going to be dressed as a sailor and they were going to be the iconic couple at the end of the Second World War" Natalie looked intrigued.

"So what happened? Was that when you first got together?"

"Unfortunately no, Jane's date turned up very drunk and she dumped him on the spot, which I have to say made me feel so much better. We were both getting a lot of attention and just starting to get flirty with each other when we were called out to a crime scene, which led to a really nasty case chasing a serial killer which side-tracked us. We didn't get together until weeks later in New York" I shook my head.

"What is it with serial killers these days, it seems like no one kills just one person anymore; they have to turn it into some weird mass production ritual" Maura tilted her head to the side and looked at me.

"Studies show that the serial killer has always been with us, it is just that between a combination of mass media coverage highlighting their activities and improved police capabilities allowing for the discovery and closure of otherwise unknown serial killing crimes, the incidence just seems to have risen" I nodded.

"Intellectually I know that, it just seems that there's a lot more of them today than there used to be" They both nodded. I noticed both of them repeatedly dropping their eyes to their cell phones on the table, waiting on the call. I'd left mine in my bag to stop myself doing exactly that. Maura looked, up, smiling.

"Oh, while I remember, I had an interesting phone call last night; friends of ours from New York are coming to visit. You may remember that we got help from Olivia Benson, a detective with the NYPD, on the car bombing case?" Natalie and I both nodded. "Well her partner, Alex, is an Assistant District Attorney. Alex has to attend a conference here the week after next so she will be staying with us" Maura chuckled.

"Jane made it quite clear to Alex that if she did not bring Olivia with her then Alex would be sleeping on the couch. Olivia and Jane are really rather close" Natalie nodded.

"Cool, it's always good to catch up with friends. What have you got planned?"

"I am not exactly sure. Alex is due in late on the Wednesday evening from New York, attending the conference on Thursday and Friday. Olivia is taking the Friday off and will be arriving on the Thursday night. They will head home late on Sunday" Natalie smiled.

"Then you have to bring them over for dinner one night, I'll get Ana to whip up something great for dinner. Sharon, you and Brenda have to come too" I smiled.

"I was just about to offer to have them over to our place for a meal as well. Well, I'll cook, Brenda has many talent's but cooking isn't one of them" Maura cocked her head to one side.

"How did Brenda survive living on her own then?" I smiled at the question.

"A parasitic relationship with far too many of LA's home delivery and take out outlets" Maura smirked.

"Good thing she has you then, that sounds far too much like someone else we both know" Natalie jerked like she'd been stung.

"Hey! I can cook, just not often"

"Really, that is not the impression Jane has conveyed from Natalie"

"And you'd take the word of an FBI agent over your best friend?" Maura smiled happily.

"Yes"

"Why?!"

"Apparently you have a myriad of other talents that she appreciates more, like that little trick you do with your tongue where you..."

"Maura! We have company" Maura looked over at me and smiled, giving me a clandestine wink. I smiled in return, as we silently agreed to tease Natalie; normally the shoe was on the other foot.

"I'm sure Sharon is always interested in improving her technique's, after all, she is tutoring Brenda"

"Tutoring, is that what you're calling it now?"

"Well, Brenda admits she has a lot to learn, fortunately she's an eager student"

"I just bet she is"

"So tell me Nat, what exactly is it you do with your tongue that Ana likes so much"

"I'm sure it's nothing you haven't done before Sharon. Besides; I saw the look on Brenda's face when she came traipsing into work the morning after the weekend you two got together. Believe me, that woman has absolutely no complaints with your technique" I smiled softly, remembering that weekend, drawing smirks from both blondes.

Normally I'm a private person, especially about my relationships, but given the role both of these women had played in getting Brenda and I together, well there was really nothing to worry about. Besides, they were friends, good friends.

"Well, we did quite a bit that weekend that was all new for Brenda, but she's a quick learner. I have no complaints" Maura smiled.

"I would say that is quite obvious, based on the look on your face Sharon"

"I do need to thank you both, without your example, your help and encouragement, Brenda and I wouldn't be this happy" Maura smiled softly.

"It was our pleasure, you and Brenda deserve to be happy, we are just pleased to have been able to help" Natalie nodded.

"If we could help you two get together and be happy then it's been a good year" I smiled softly, reflecting.

"I am happy, really, really happy. In fact I haven't been this happy in years" Natalie nodded.

"We're not meant to be alone Sharon"

"Indeed not, we need company, companionship, love, we need it to be healthy" I felt a thrill go through me when Maura used the L word, made up of equal parts fear and longing.

"It's a bit early for that concept don't you think?" Natalie shrugged, she knew what I meant.

"If it happens, it happens" Maura smiled.

"There is no set timeframe for love, it happens at a time and place of its own choosing" I felt they were moving a bit fast.

"We've only been together for just over a week" Maura looked me in the eye.

"And known each other for how long exactly?" I shrugged, I could see where she was going but I really didn't think it was relevant.

"About five years all up" Natalie nodded slowly.

"And been friends for what, two years and good friends for more than a year?"

"Yes, but we only just got together" Maura smiled.

"Sharon, you have been very close for more than a year and considering each other as lovers for over a month. The fact that you have been intimate for a relatively short time does not detract from the fact that you have been close for much longer" Natalie grinned.

"Hell yeah, Ana and I went from first meeting to deciding we needed each other in under four months. From wanting each other to sleeping together was only a couple of weeks" Maura nodded.

"And how long before you decided that you loved each other?"

"Not long after we got together actually" I raised an eyebrow as she continued.

"Hey, we were both happy, we complimented each other and felt more comfortable together than we'd ever felt with anyone else from day one, we just clicked" Maura nodded.

"Let us be honest Sharon. From the air of happiness that both of you are displaying, you are both where you should be. Brenda is yours and you are hers, all else is irrelevant" Natalie nodded enthusiastically.

"Give love a chance Sharon, it may be a day, a week, a month or a year, but it will happen, as long as you let it. Brenda can love you and you can love her, just don't deny it when it comes, you both deserve the happiness it brings"

I nodded, partly to avoid having this discussion; I really felt it was too quick, too soon for this. If love came, well it would happen in its own time, when Brenda and I had grown together to a point where we were both comfortable to talk about it.

We sat there for a moment, each lost in our thoughts when suddenly Maura's phone rang, shattering the quiet. As she picked it up both Natalie and my phones rang,

"Isles"

"LAPD Media, this is Natalie"

"Raydor, FID"

Thirty seconds later we were in the car and on our way, dispatch had just told us that there had been several officers wounded at the seige and the situation was now resolved. More information would await us arriving on scene, leaving us to expect the worst as there were 'officers down...'

The scene was still cordoned off, according to the uniformed officer who stopped us the building was on fire and there were explosives inside, so we abandoned the car and walked the two blocks to the scene.

As we got closer, I could see an ambulance sitting there amongst the fire trucks and black and whites, before I made out long blonde hair in the centre of a group of people. Next I spotted Anastasia's camouflaged combat gear, apparently so did Natalie as I heard her whispered 'oh thank god' from next to me.

A few steps later Maura sighed in relief as she spotted Jane, but all I could see was Brenda, she was alive, oh god she was alive.

Stepping up to where the Major Crimes squad stood we paused for a moment as we took them in, some dressings on Gabriel and Flynn, but nothing on our girls, thank god.

I went to say something when Natalie threw herself into Ana's arms, sobbing with relief as Ana enfolded her in a hug, Maura followed, Jane wrapping her arms around her as Maura cried softly into her neck.

I stood there, looking Brenda up and down. She was a mess, her clothes grubby, shoes scuffed beyond saving, the skirt she was wearing, a relatively new one she'd bought when we were out shopping a month or two back, ripped and torn. Her hair was dishevelled and there were dirt smudges on her face. I didn't know what to say, I was torn between the sheer joy of knowing she was alive and unhurt and the realisation that she could have easily have died right here, in a dirty L A street.

Looking past her I could see the wreckage of her Crown Vic, holes blown right through it, if anything it made things worse. All I could think was she could have died, just as we were starting out. Was this what Brooke had feared every day?

I folded my arms together to hold in the sudden shakes, suddenly terrified of the thought of losing Brenda before I could tell her what she meant to me. Finally I looked up and sank into eyes of warm chocolate, apprehension swimming in them.

"I thought I told you not to mess up that skirt" I don't know why I said that; it just popped out, some grasp at normality given all that had happened.

Looking at Brenda, she looked like a kid caught with her hand in the cookie jar as she looked down and took in the ruined skirt before looking back up at me, her cheeks blushing red. The look in her eyes broke my heart; they were actually filled with regret, as if I meant it when all I cared about was that she was alive.

"I'm sorry" I knew we were going to talk about this later, we had too. It was going to be hard, but we had to, especially if we were going to make us work.

"Oh you will be young lady, later" I suddenly realised how that sounded, but I didn't care. Brenda was here, alive and mine. I looked into those eyes and saw a future I could have so easily lost, that we could have lost.

There was no way I was going to let that happen again. Maura was right, Brenda was mine, I was hers and we belonged together, the rest of the world be damned. I smiled, in relief and gratitude and love.

"But right now, I'm just happy you're ok" Without thinking I stepped forward and grabbed her, pulling her to me as I kissed her. For a second she didn't move, didn't respond, before her mouth opened and her hands slid around my waist and back, holding me tight, as Brenda's tongue slid between my lips.

It just felt right, her body against mine, feeling her vibrancy and life pressed hard up against me, it was all I wanted, to have her and hold her as much as I could.

I was distantly aware that everyone, well maybe not the girls but everyone else, was staring at us, that I'd just made us public, that I should have talked to Brenda about this, about us, but honestly I didn't give a damn.

We'd deal with everything and everyone else later, right now I had Brenda and she had me, nothing else mattered, not now, not ever.