Well, it just means that Shishio was his brother-in-law, as everyone probably guessed… but, Shishio is never a quiet character, now is he? -evil laugh-

Disclaimer: I can paint a little, but I draw much better. That doesn't mean he's mine.

Chapter 18: Paintings Full of Longing

"This was almost ridiculous, Kenshin. I can't believe the men wore this many layers of clothes, too. Pore Sae has sore fingers now, and I even left out that stupid over-tunic thing." Golden eyes shot a look at her over his shoulder, and she made a face, her hand going to her hip. "It was completely stupid, and I would laugh at you if I ever saw you wearing it. I'm not going to even mention that hat Sae showed me." Shrugging, she picked up the ribbon she had dropped to get her point across. "The shoes were pretty cool, but I wouldn't ever wear them either. They look like something you would display for decoration or something."

Kenshin snorted softly, and Kaoru giggled. It was amusing now, realizing how big of a difference there was between the age he had grown up in and hers. The clothes had similarities, but Kaoru would choose her father's clothes over Kenshin's any day of the week. For one thing, there were three layers to the kimono, not counting the over tunic she had discarded, and while that wasn't quite so bad, the hakama had two layers by itself too. The undergarment was plain and comfortable, but the outer one was a six panel hakama that, she had learned, was made to crease in a specific pattern to show rank. They even tied off at the ankle to make them balloon out, which was a comical picture to imagine, and Kaoru was thankful Kenshin preferred not to do that.

Now sitting behind him, Kaoru was fitting the last layer of kimono on him to make sure he would be comfortable wearing all of them at one time. It had been a simple idea, really, nothing fancy, but it had still required an expert hand to pull it off. Sae was such a genius with a needle. After hemming all of the clothing, they had made marks on the backs of the kimono to accurately cut out a square flap from the collar to the exact length where the bottom of the base of his wings were. Then they made a hole for his wings, hemmed that, and then attached small loops on the underside to lace up the rest of the kimono back to the collar, effectively creating a kimono for Kenshin to wear. Of course, the only draw back was, he could not get in or out of his kimono without some kind of help. A small issue, Kaoru thought, since wearing the clothes was going to keep him warm.

Now lacing up the second incision above his right wing, she bowed the tie and tucked it under the collar so that the ends would not show. Patting him between the shoulder blades, she stood to back up a few steps. "Ok, try it out." Obediently his wings stretched, searching for any position that would pull or hamper their movement in any way.

"It fits well, Kaoru-dono."

"Great. Now, here's the hakama. I'll wait outside while you try them on."

"It is too cold for that, Kaoru-dono, and you were just recently sick. Stay here where it is warm. I will go in here." Gathering up the two hakama folded neatly in her arms, he retreated to the smaller room within his quarters, the doors closing firmly between them.

Smiling, Kaoru smoothed a hand over the haori she was once again wearing, her mother's kimono covering her underneath that. The fever had only lasted a day and a night, and no other symptoms of illness had plagued her, but she had to admit it was the most interesting sickness she had ever contracted. At home her mother would have been the one to pamper her, a role her father had taken up after her death, but as she had told Kenshin, she was hardly ever sick, and when she was it never lasted long. So seeing Kenshin react with such anxiety was amusing, and nearly cute. It had definitely attracted the attention of his servants.

Megumi had looked at her and confirmed the presence of a fever, gave her something to bring her temperature down, and then left it at that. After stripping off the court kimono and wrapping herself in a soft yukata, she had been confined to bed rest, where she had slept for much of the day. Around early evening, she had found herself with a tray of soup, a pot of soothing tea, and a wet cloth dipped in cool water. Tae had served the soup and tea, but the master himself had sat on her other side with the cloth and water, and there he had stayed until she had once more fallen asleep.

In the morning she was informed by Misao that she should not fear for her reputation, because the weasel had made sure she was always in the room when the master was, too. An insistence Kenshin himself had required. Another formality she would have never really given a second thought to. What difference would that make when she was already going to be staying there forever and no one else besides the servants would even know that their master had been in the room of an innocent woman? Really, he was just too sweet sometimes.

"Lord Kenshin did everything himself, my lady. He carried the trays of food, and collected the snow to melt for the water, and barely left your side afterwards. It was really cute, my lady. He wouldn't stop asking why you were sleeping so much and if it was normal. I don't think he even remembers what it's like to be sick. Of course… Lady Kinuko slept so much near the end… I bet it kind of scared him."

Sighing, Kaoru knelt back down by a small bag she had brought with her, rummaging through its contents. It was easy to forget that his own mother had died young, and it made her feel bad about being sick and worrying him. Such life changing memories were not kind, and it made her sad to think her own thoughtlessness might have brought about their return.

Slowly the door opened, and Kaoru automatically looked up, watching as Kenshin stepped back into the room. Nervously, almost reassuringly, his hand flattened over his chest, smoothing out the fabric of his kimono. The under layer was pure white, a stark contrast to the red of his throat and the partial area of his sternum that showed. The second layer was a dark purple, like eggplant, and the outermost layer was yellow, a color that matched the tint of his eyes and horns. Swirling patterns in straight black created a pleasing design within the golden hue, and matched perfectly with his new pleated hakama.

Smiling, Kaoru nodded. "You look good all dressed up, Kenshin."

A frown pulled at his features as he rotated his shoulders. "It feels strange wearing a kimono again."

"Don't worry, you'll get used to it. Now come here." Smacking the floor in front of her, she motioned for him to sit down. "It's about time we do something about that hair."

"What is wrong with my hair?" Hesitantly doing as she asked, he gave her his back reluctantly.

"Nothing is wrong with your hair, Kenshin, I just don't know how you fly with it loose like that. I'd think you would pull parts of it out by getting it caught in your wings."

"Only a few strands." Petulant, his voice mumbled, and his wings slumped with his shoulders as if waiting for something undesirable but necessary. Shaking her head, she unearthed the comb she had brought with her and began gathering all of his hair together at the back of his neck. The first couple of snags produced growls from his throat, but soon the comb was traveling cleanly through his locks and the muscles in his back were slowly relaxing. When she finally stopped his head jerked up as if he were trying to keep awake. Laughing softly, she parted the thick strands into three and deftly wound it into a tight braid.

"Alright, all done." Knotting the tie, she dropped the braid, and put away the comb. "Does it feel alright?" Shrugging, he seemed indifferent, and she rolled her eyes. "Well, anyway, Sae's still working on the other set of clothes, so this set will have to be enough for the time being. Just in time, too, since Katsu's surprise party is tonight. This is going to be so fun."

Kenshin looked over his shoulder at Kaoru, her lips smiling at nothing. It took little to make her smile, and yet he liked every one of them. Especially when she was smiling at him. Sometimes, it tickled an angry feeling inside of his chest when she smiled at or because of another.

"Do your feet get really cold, Kenshin?" Blinking, his eyes focused back on her face. "If they do, we could wrap them or something…" Frowning in contemplation, he could practically see the wheels turning in her mind.

"I am much warmer now, Kaoru-dono, and in fact, warmer than I am used to. Wrapping my feet, I feel, would be overkill. Do not worry, I will be fine."

"If you say so." Skeptical, she agreed, but only, he was sure, because she couldn't figure out a solution to the problem. Studying him back, she suddenly grinned. "You know, Kenshin, I kinda like your hair this way." There was a teasing note to her voice that suggested she was getting him back for the comment he had made the other day. "I can see more of your face without all those loose hairs getting in the way. You really do have a good face, I don't know why you were hiding it."

"Perhaps because it is disfigured." The nasty sarcasm in his tone did not trip her up in the least.

"Oh come on, your scar's not that bad." Deliberately misinterpreting his meaning, she touched three fingers to the crossed scar indenting the scales on his left cheek. Slowly his head tilted away from her and she let her touch slide off to his shoulder. "I think it makes you look kind of roguish, and I bet you have quite the war story to go along with it."

"You make it sound impressive, Kaoru-dono." Bitterness tainted his voice now. "If you knew the truth of anything I am sure you would not feel so kind."

"Don't be silly, Kenshin." Voice low and gentle, she dropped her hand back to her lap. "I've heard some of the stories about the master that used to live here. I'm not completely ignorant." Turning to halfway face her, his wide golden eyes seemed nearly wild; with fear or danger she couldn't tell. "He died in a war, right? So that means you fought with him." Looking at her lap, her next words were a little forced. "I realize that… you've had to kill people, but that doesn't change anything." Smiling happily, she placed a hand back on his shoulder and leaned forward to share her next statement softly. "I don't know if you realize this, but you're a nice person, and I really like you. You just need to loosen up a bit." Relaxing with her words of reassurance and confession, a small smile touched his lips. Glad that he was once more calmed, Kaoru brushed a hand over the wrinkles in the back of his shirt.

A sudden thought came to her and she tilted her head and spoke without thinking; a habit she was developing now that they were more comfortable with each other. "Did your brothers die in the war, too, Kenshin? Is that why you are here by yourself? I mean, you were the youngest, right? So doesn't that mean you would have been the last to inherit your father's lands?"

Anger returning with a nearly audibly snap in his ears, the questioning of past events he would rather forget brought about a bite to his voice. "You ask too much!" Standing to his feet, he paced away.

"I'm sorry." Chastised, she twisted her fingers together. "I just wanted to better understand…"

Struggling with his anger, his claws biting into the palms of his hands, he clenched his eyes shut. A selfish, unbending part of him wanted her to be frightened, wanted to make certain his first conclusion of her reaction was true, and if she was not horrified by the thought of him participating in war, then he would let her know something worse. Something darker.

"Isamu died with Father in the war." Harsh and uncaring, he told her of one. "Tenshi and Shinta-sama were murdered." A small gasp of sympathy and the horror he had initially expected filled the silence, but his anger was not yet abated. He wanted to punish her further for being so kind when it was not deserved. "By their brother." When his golden eyes finally met hers his unreasonable anger melted into shame, for even though her brows curled and her eyes spoke of shock and a touch of uncertainty, she was still trying to find a way to understand. The lovely young lady before him was still wanting to know his side. And not just know… but take.

The buried pain inside his chest that only she had found twisted once more. He could never be worthy of such devotion. Not in the way that she deserved, and he suddenly didn't like how she was wasting her time on him. Rounding on the door, he left her in his rooms unattended.

X

Tae was trying hard to repress her smile, but every time she looked behind her at the adorably confused look on Katsu's face, the corners of her mouth would tilt traitorously and his confusion would become deeper. A return smile still graced his features, an unconscious reaction to her own, and that only made her happiness jerk just a little harder at her chest. Katsu was the sweetest man she knew, and so talented and amazing with a brush. It made her sad to think that there had ever been a moment in his life that made him doubt himself or his skill. There were some that still remembered and accused… and for that reason alone, she wanted everyone to attend his party and see just how wonderful he was. No one could blame him for what had happened. It wasn't fair to.

Mood plummeting with the direction of her thoughts, Tae slowed and found a frown pulling at her eyes. "Is there something wrong, Miss Tae?" Shaking her head, her smile came back.

"Of course not. Now hurry up." Grabbing his hand, she tugged him along, turning her head to hide her embarrassment at the contact.

"But where are we going, Miss Tae?"

"I told you. The Lady wishes to speak with you in the training hall. I think she has an idea she wishes for you to paint."

"But I thought we had already finished the discussions about the screens, and she knows that I cannot paint the rest until it is warmer."

"Oh, stop being so difficult, Katsu-san. I do not know the mind of the Lady. You will simply have to ask her yourself when we get there." Unable to stifle a giggle, she was rewarded with a suspicious look from the painter. Once at the closest door to the hall, she let go of his hand and scampered inside ahead of him. Left with nothing else to do but follow, Katsu pushed the door open a little wider and stepped in after.

"SURPRISE!"

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

The multitude of shouting nearly toppled him over backwards, and he overbalanced with a thump onto the floor. Sitting on his backside, he stared in shock at the hundreds of others already within waiting to wish him well. All of his friends were in attendance, even the lord and lady, though they were at opposite sides of the hall, which was strange since he had heard they were getting along. Then Tae was next to him, a hand on his back to help him up, and he forgot everything else but the soft tan eyes mere inches from his face.

"Happy Birthday, Katsu." Smiling shyly at the use of such informality, she looked away. "I hope you… did not have other plans."

Still in shock, he stared, then jumped as if startled from his trance to grab one of her hands in both of his own. "Any plans I would dream to make would always include you, Miss Tae." Thinking suddenly of something he had tucked away inside his room, he felt a certainty of action that only ever accompanies the instinctual knowledge of feeling complete. Today was the day. He was sure of it. But first he would make her happy and enjoy the party she had obviously worked hard to put together for him.

"T-thank you." Happier than she had ever been in her life, Tae turned and led him to the middle of the room.

Well-wishers and close friends congratulated him as they walked through the crowd, the entire room circulating to make sure everyone had a chance to speak briefly with the man of the hour. A moment of tension tugged at his spine when the lord wished him well, and even Tae seemed worried by the return look of depression, anger, and sadness in their master's eyes. Tae was not about to let the mood darken, however, and as everyone finished with their rounds, she tugged him further into the room to a layout of food and desserts.

"Miss Tae!" Dark eyes widening, he stared at the lineup of dishes. Everything there was something he enjoyed; everything there was his favorite. "This must have caused you a lot of trouble."

"Oh not at all!" Breathless with joy, she seemed eager to share. "I have even made your favorite ice cream."

"But…"

"I saved some mint leaves in a jar, and Sanosuke-san went down to the village and found me a few blocks of chocolate. I made him leave something in return, so do not fear that he stole it. I even made a few jars of strawberry and raspberry preserves and mixed them in for flavoring, if you would like to try those as well. And…"

Listening to her go on, he felt content and impatient all at the same time. Now that he knew, now that he had made up his mind, he no longer wanted to wait, but he could not in turn ruin everything she had worked hard to create for him. Taking a deep breath to calm his nerves, he let the evening progress naturally… even though it felt slower than a lazy turtle in summer.

As night set in and lanterns were lit to illuminate the party now in full swing, Katsu was feeling a little warm from the small amount of sake Tae had allowed and the large amount of food he had consumed. Sano was roaring something in the background, far beyond drunk by now, and a smile pulled at the lemur's mouth as a certain fox doctor scolded him for his behavior. His best friend still hadn't learned a thing about women, but… upon closer inspection, Katsu briefly wondered if the fox didn't like that mangy dog regardless of his lack in tact. Or rather, because of his lack in tact. As beautiful as he remembered the doctor to be, he had no doubt that many had tried to woo her, back when they were all human.

Looking to his right, he smiled at Tae as she happily chatted away with the weasel and their mistress. The lady was looking just a bit flushed, and he vaguely recalled her being sick that week, but then she giggled, an action that lasted longer than was necessary, and he realized she too was feeling the effects of the alcohol. What a strange sight that was, a lady, in their midst, drunk. Why, if they were still in full swing at court, she would be the scandal of the month. All of the other ladies would shun her, and her family would be hard put to find her a suitor. Of course, warriors, whether women or men, were given more allowances, and their lady did not seem the least bit concerned about what others thought of her. Independent. That's what Tae had said she was.

Tae. What a sweet name. He couldn't wait until she belonged to him and him alone. At the moment of their transformation, she had been young. Just graduating into the roll of chef, leaving behind her days of apprenticeship, and entering into a world that would allow her to finally be courted. If Katsu wanted to think about it, and he had thought about it many times, he had much to be grateful for. Tae, as a young woman, had a beauty that was different from Megumi's, a sweeter, gentler beauty that attracted the heart more than the body. It would not have taken long for someone else to have noticed and won her over. If that had happened before the curse had been landed on them, he would have never had the chance to quietly make his own feelings known. Once the curse had set in, all interest in such things not previously acknowledged had been given up. Longing had only ever visited their palace once since then… and it had left its scar.

I must give it to her tonight. I have waited too long already, hoping for this curse to wear off so that we may be human again before…

After a thousand years I know that it doesn't even matter what our appearance now is, I want to be with her for the rest of my life, and I want her to know that. I want her to be happy, and I want neither of us to be alone any longer.

Standing, he gave Tae a reassuring smile when she glanced at him in concern. "Do not worry, Miss Tae, I will return shortly. There is… something I must take care of."

"Oh." She seemed embarrassed, and he realized she had misunderstood his meaning. Stuttering to correct his mistake, he frowned when the weasel, drunker than Sano, piped up.

"Too much info, buddy! Just go already!"

Mumbling, he ducked his head, and retreated out a side door, dodging in and out of others as he went. Once out on the veranda, he quickened his steps, doing something he tried to refrain from by dropping his front paws down and running on all fours. Once to his room, he dug around under a pile of scattered papers, popped up a loose floorboard, and removed a box covered in a thick amount of dust. Retrieving its contents after a moment of hesitation, he replaced the floorboard and pressed the large scroll to his chest.

He'd had it for years, for centuries; a masterpiece he had worked hard to perfect, and now he was finally going to present it to the woman it had been painted for. Excited, nervous, and feeling like he was going to vomit, he turned to the door. Sparing the large painting on his wall a brief look, he dismissed it from his mind, telling himself he would hide it later, before he shot back out into the cold night air. There were other, more important matters to attend to.

So eager to be back at her side, Katsu could not stop fast enough as one of the doors to the training hall opened in front of him and released the form of his master. Slipping and sliding on the slick surface of wood, Katsu slammed feet first into his leg, the scroll jolting from his arms to jump in the air. Concerned more for the painting, Katsu reached for it, a cry of anguish tearing from his lips as he could clearly imagine it landing in the drifts of snow and ruining the colored ink he had painstakingly made himself. Time seemed to stop, his heart felt as if it might rip in two, and then one red hand snatched it from midair.

Relaxing with a sigh, Katsu let his head thump back onto the floor and his eyes close in relief. "Thank you so much, my lord. I don't know what I would have done if…"

"Katsuhiro." There was a level of rage in his lord's voice that he had not heard since that day, over seven centuries ago. "What is the meaning of this?"

No. He's seen! Opening his eyes quickly, he found that his worst fear was true. The scroll in his hand was open, the painting bare to his gaze, and the hands that held it were shaking. "Please, my lord, you must understand…" Breathing heavily, suddenly panicked, Katsu scooted backwards and repositioned himself to his knees. "I have done as you asked. I promise there have been no others." Wincing as he knew what he spoke was a lie, Katsu trembled at the sharpness in the harsh golden eyes of his master, and hung his head. "I-I'm sorry, my lord… there has been one other that I have given to…" Unable to bring himself to say who, he stopped. "but it was not asked for, I promise you that. I gave it to… I gave it as a gift, nothing more. This one as well… it is… it is my engagement gift… my lord." Bent with his head pressed into the icy wood, Katsu shivered, his stomach churning and knotting. Today had felt so perfect, how could it now be like this?

A moment of silence stretched his panic to new heights, and then the sound of the shoji sliding shut assaulted his ears, muffling the sounds of the party inside. "Come, Katsuhiro. You will show me your quarters. I will see for myself that there are no others."

Mind halting, he remembered the other he had left hanging on the wall. Already having lied to him once, Katsu said nothing. It did not matter anymore anyway what was to happen now. The lord had his precious painting, and he was going to burn it just as he had every other painting of their human portraits.

Trailing along behind, defeated and feeling decidedly sick, Katsu spared only one glance at the scroll held tightly in his masters black claws. One look to say goodbye to the happiness it represented and hello to the loneliness of eternity. He could not ask her to spend the rest of her life with him without a gift… he could not ask her to do such a thing when he was responsible for the tragedy his master was now reminding him of. Was that not the very reason he had stopped pursuing her for all those years? What had made him forget that worthlessness living in his being?

"I am in a foul mood already today, Katsuhiro. I cannot believe you would go against my decree and paint such atrocities behind my back. Do you wish for all that happened back then to happen again? Do you wish such a thing upon my cook?" Voice snappy and harsh, unforgiving, Kenshin shook with the rage he felt. "I have asked little of everyone since I became master. Very little. What few rules I have made I expect to be followed. This rule, Katsuhiro, this one rule was the only one I gave to you. You cannot expect me to believe you have forgotten it. Even after seven hundred years." Stopping to round on the lemur, his voice rose to a shout. "Do you have nothing to say for yourself?"

"N-no, my lord, I have not forgotten. And no… I would wish nothing bad upon Miss Tae… nor anyone living within the boundaries of your lands. I had only thought…"

"You had thought nothing! You have painted this as an engagement gift?" Holding up the scroll for reference, Kenshin snorted. "A nice thought, and one that would have been appropriate were we all once again normal, but have you thought one second past that moment you would have given it to her? Have you thought about what might happen afterwards? Obviously not or you would not have painted it to begin with." Letting his arm drop, Kenshin looked out across the yard, the half moon sparkling off the snow. "Together you might be for many years, but what happens when she, or you, become frustrated with the distance, the boundaries of your relationship? What happens when that same longing and depression that ensnared my people those seven centuries ago finds itself within her heart? And every day she looks upon this painting you have given her and she thinks of the way she was, the way she wants to now be, the way she no longer is and cannot be rid of those feelings of longing and frustration. Soon, every day she will look at you and wonder if you did not love her only because of the way she used to look. And on that day everything becomes too much for her to bear… she will take her own life… just as they did."

Breathing once more labored, tears burning his eyes and throat, Katsu buried his head in his hands. "I did not know such a thing was going to happen because of my paintings. I thought only to make everyone happy. You must believe me. I did not know."

The painter was clearly upset beyond consolation, and Kenshin closed his eyes, his jaw clenching painfully. Only Kaoru's influence would make him feel such sympathy for a servant. Only Kaoru…

"The fault belongs to me, Katsuhiro. I am the reason for everything that has happened to this palace… and my people." Walking the last few steps to Katsu's room, Kenshin slid open the door and stepped inside.

A candle was still burning in the corner from his earlier search, an oversight Katsu did not usually make. Though the light was small and flickering weakly, Kenshin's amber irises still found without pause the large painting directly across the room. Freezing only a few paces beyond the door, he stared, Katsu stopped with his head bowed beside him.

"It is the only other one, my lord. I have painted no others besides the one in your hand and the one I have given away already. I promise to get that one back, and I will dispose of them properly, if you wish for me to."

The lemur went on to apologize again, but Kenshin heard nothing but the ringing of… jealousy. Yes, that was this emotion in his chest. That was the emotion he could not describe earlier this morning. It was jealousy now destroying all other sound in his ears but a vengeful roaring of anger. Anger for a man that had been dead some thousand years.

"Tell me why, Katsuhiro. Why have you painted my brother with her?"

"My lord?"

Swallowing, he realized he had never felt such anger for his oldest brother before. Shinta had demanded nothing but respect and adulation. Shinta had been the closest thing to a friend he had ever had growing up. But no matter how greatly he admired his brother, he could never allow Shinta to be so close to Kaoru.

"My brother, Katsuhiro! Why is he in this painting? They have not met! They never will!" Pointing and shouting, his eyes left the painting only long enough to make sure Katsu understood the gravity of the situation. How could he do such a thing? How could he insinuate such an awful, tormenting thought into his already distraught mind? How could he paint the two of them, standing so casually together, laughing so easily with one another, looking so comfortable and… right? With Kaoru looking so beautiful in her spring kimono, her hair loose in the way he liked, her arm pointing at the pond below them as she leaned against the railing of the pavilion. Wind was teasing her hair, her blue eyes were smiling at the other next to her, and she didn't seem to mind at all that this other was holding her free hand warmly within his own.

"But my lord…" Confused and anxious, unsure of his lord's sanity, Katsu glanced at the painting himself. "your brother is not in the painting."

"Do not test me, Katsuhiro! He is here." Stomping his way up to the hanging portrait, he pointed at the man standing next to Kaoru. The man that was smiling tenderly at her amusement, with his pale skin and normal features, his high ponytail of red hair teased in the same wind as hers, and his soft amber eyes meeting her blue ones as they shared a moment that was theirs alone. "Right here. Is he not?"

"My lord…" Taking a tentative step back, Katsu stumbled on. "has it been so long… that you do not recognize yourself?"

Feeling just a touch unstable, Kenshin's eyes darted between the painting and the painter. "I think I remember what my own brother looked like!"

"Of course, my lord." Forcing himself to come closer, Katsu relaxed as he distinguished the problem. "But the resemblances between yourself and Master Shinta were impeccable. Everyone said so, remember?" Pausing to wait for a reaction or interruption, Katsu continued slowly when there was none. "Only, Lord Kenshin, you were younger than he, and so his features were always more matured, and also, I think, he was taller than you, ne?" Pointing at the portrait now in front of him, Katsu brought the man to Kenshin's attention. "If this were Master Shinta, he would be much taller than Lady Kaoru. You two, on the other hand, are closer to each other's height. Also, you have aged since… Master Shinta's death, so your features have matured. Much like his were."

With each rational explanation his tense muscles loosened, his angry golden eyes draining of their rage and softening to near exhaustion and weary wonder. Much like the longing he had seen on those faces seven hundred years before. Dark eyes widening, Katsu felt panic once more take precedence within his body.

Gently, clawed fingers trailed over the painstaking detail placed into each stroke of the paint, envious of that moment in time that would never happen. Wanting that stolen glance to be real, her smile to be his, and to feel the warmth of her strong fingers. Never in his life had he ever wanted something so badly.

Then the lord jerked, his hand shooting up to rip the painting off the wall and throw it to the floor. Crossly his tail twitched back and forth, his wings trembling, and a multitude of emotion tugged upon his features. Twisting back to the open door, he stalked halfway across the room and then hesitated, his hands fisting desperately.

"Why would you paint such a thing?" Accusing, pleading, lost; his voice was not the one of their master, but a man tormented.

"I do not know, my lord. I suppose… I thought it would be nice to see my master, as he is meant to be, together with… his lady. I was not going to give it to anyone. I was simply… compelled to paint it."

A moment of silence pressed upon them, neither moving, only the moon to direct more light through the doorway as it rose above the nearest building's rooftop. Turning abruptly, Kenshin came back to the fallen portrait, picking it up off the floor to roll neatly into a tube. Shoving the first scroll back into Katsu's face, he did not fully meet his gaze.

"I will leave this with you. You may do what you wish with it. Store it, burn it, I care not. As long as you do not show it to anyone else. This one… I will keep." Clutching the larger painting in his hand, Katsu could not help but think his lord looked more conflicted than ever. He also could not help but think that painting that portrait was going to turn out to be the biggest mistake of his life.

"Perhaps, my lord, you should let me dispose of them both. It was my own folly to go against what you decreed, you should let me clean up the mess." Sharp golden eyes bore into his own dark ones, and Katsu ducked his head from such intensity, but bravely continued his plea. "Please, my lord, you were right, and if… if anything else were to happen because of my paintings, I would not be able to live with myself."

"If anything were to happen to me, it would be nothing less than I deserve." Taking those last few steps to the door, he paused to add a reassurance. "I have not the conviction to take my own life. Whatever pain I endure, will be suffered until the end of eternity."

Crossing back over the cold walkways, Kenshin chose a path opposite the one near the training hall and the party inside. Fingers curled through what was left of the hairs in his face, the rest pulled back into the braid, he tried to steady himself; steady everything. This was one of those moments he hated, hated because it meant his path was changing. Change, he had discovered because of Kaoru, was not quite as bad as he had always thought, but this change required him to come to a decision. He had known he did not want Kaoru to leave the moment she had threatened to go, but had not at the time known why. Now it was becoming clear that this emotion that wished to keep her near was much thicker and more complicated than a simple desire to see her face every day.

At first there had been bitterness for her change, then panic that she would leave. Longing to have her stay soon followed, and then sadness at the thought of her gone. Happiness became known to him as they soon learned how to talk with each other once again, and with happiness came a certain level of peace. All of these emotions had not been new, though they had been strange and old with rusty hinges and gears. This most recent sensation, however, was new… and it was threatening the peace he had achieved through her friendship. Jealousy was ugly, and it could not be shaken unless there was no longer anything to be jealous of.

Either she had to leave, he learned how to deal with it, or…

A door slid open and he dropped his hand to peek at the partygoers enviously. How nice it must be to forget such horrible things like their curse… their lives. Shifting his attention from the door to the person who had exited, he stared across the yard into those blue eyes he had coveted not minutes before. Still vulnerable, still weak, his expression showed plainly those thoughts that plagued him. She frowned, concerned, and he thought of how sorry he was for that morning. How stupid of him to let her know even a shadow of his past. How idiotic to create such doubt within a person who knew nothing of such chaos and bloodshed. She was purity and innocence. Whatever way he felt, it was for something, someone, he did not deserve.

Wing lifting to cover him fully, he walked away, his hand still clutching the painting of a life he could not have.

X

A/N: Well, I suppose there were actually two sad revelations, but only one planned one. The other kind of just made sense to put it in now, since I've been trying to work in Kenshin's past into the story. This chapter was not as lighthearted as the last few, but it can't always be sugar and cake, now can it? I was sad doing what I did to Katsu, but his back story isn't a cake walk either. Too bad this means sad days for Tae as well. Ah me. Whatever shall a girl do?

Anyway, so Kaoru is learning a little more about Kenshin's brothers, and it seems something happened that was a bit more conniving than just their warmongering father sending them into battle and getting them accidentally killed off. What a crazy man. Of course, Kenshin didn't say anything about his sister's death, and she was older than him. Although, she would have been married off to some other family for backing and political ties. I wonder… lol. Yes, I know I know. I'm just being mean.

So, Kenshin is discovering a deeper emotional tie to his lady, and finding out that he doesn't quite like it. I had a lot of fun getting him all pissed off at the painting and what he thought was Shinta standing up there with Kaoru. lmfao So cute. Although, I have created a bad omen in the sense that everyone else who has seen Katsu's paintings and longed to have it be real has committed suicide. I do hope Kenshin won't succumb to such extremes. -pout- Ok, so I'm evil, but you're still reading it aren't you? Hope that you are still liking, and see you in the next chapter. Please leave a review.