Late night loneliness

The call on her cell was what dragged me out of a deep sleep, that and her reluctantly moving away from me, her voice thick with sleep as she took the call.

It was work of course, who else calls at 2.45 in the morning?

Getting them to text the address, she ended the call and dropped the phone on the dresser, before moving back to the bed. I reluctantly opened my eyes as she knelt next to me, the mattress dipping as she leaned in to kiss me.

"Sorry love, it's work, I have to go" I wasn't happy, but that was life, it was what we did, though it didn't stop me from whining a little as she went to move away.

"Don't go" I heard a gentle chuckle.

"Believe me, I don't want to" I tried to wrap my arms around her in the dark, but she was too quick, stepping away before I could pull her back to me. "Uh ah, if I let you do that, I'll never get out of here" I pouted at the thought of her leaving me.

"Mmm, let me make it worth your while" She just chuckled as she stepped away from the bed.

"Believe me, I know, but…" I rolled over in the bed, into the area she'd just left, feeling the warmth of the sheets where her body had been. As I watched she turned on the lights in the en-suite bathroom, giving enough light to get dressed. I frowned.

"You don't want me there?" She turned, allowing me to see her partly nude silhouette in the light spilling from the bathroom, making me smile gently.

"No, it's just a routine call out, stay in bed and go back to sleep, I'll be back when I can" I nodded slowly, still partly asleep.

The tone from her cell announced the arrival of a text with the address, an unwelcome reminder of the world outside this room, crime and death and pain, something far removed from the love and happiness and tenderness we'd shared only a few hours ago here in this bed.

I watched as she finished getting dressed, pants because it was December after all and contrary to what the LA tourist people tell you; it does get cold out here, especially at night.

I felt a little anxiety; I always did when she headed out. A little fear that she might not come home, that something terrible might happen. I always calmed my fears by telling myself that she would be at a crime scene, surrounded by cops, that it would be safe, just about the last place on earth a criminal would want to be found.

Still I worried, that's what love did, it made you worry, over even the smallest of things.

Dressed, she disappeared into the en-suite where I could hear her finish getting ready. Shortly afterwards she reappeared in the doorway, before the room was plunged into darkness again as she turned the lights off.

I felt the bed move again as she leaned over, my nose filling with her unique scent, making me smile and instinctively turn my face towards her as she leaned in and kissed me softly. I reached my head up towards her, seeking to deepen the kiss, to feel her, all of her, to convey my love in a kiss, something I always did when she was called away from me.

"Be careful" I felt the breath on my face as she spoke, her lips close to mine.

"Always, see you soon"

"Hurry back" I felt the bed move as she stepped off it.

"I will" I could hear her footsteps as she left the room, followed by noises through the place as she grabbed keys on the way out. The closing of the front door, a gentle click as she carefully closed it as quietly as possible to not further awaken me, was a final reminder that she was gone.

I sighed, a sad sound in the dark as I felt her absence, the bed cooling without her beside me. I moved a bit, snagging the other pillow and pulling it to me, it carried her scent, a comforting presence now she was gone.

I unconsciously smiled as I buried my nose into the pillow and breathed her in, her scent reminding me of how we'd made love earlier tonight.

We'd been slow and loving and gentle, coming with a gentle rocking, each wrapped in the other's arms, slow teasing kisses and our names whispered in the dark, full of love and passion. I unconsciously smiled, I couldn't help it.

She'd given me her love, a gift without price, there had been times I'd thought I'd never find it, that I wouldn't find the one to fill me and make me whole, complete and loved, but here she was, filling me with her love.

I carried that love with me through the day, knowing that no matter how bad my day, she was there, closer than a caress, deep within my thoughts, knowing that I would see her soon, either there at work or at lunch or back at home, that she could banish the evil we saw every day and bring a smile to my face, just by being there.

She didn't have to do anything, just the tilt of her head as I walked in, as she leaned up for a kiss with a smile, the quiet intimacy of working together in the kitchen, washing up after dinner so we can go snuggle on the couch, everything she did made me content.

She often told me that I did the same for her, that just me being there made the rest of the world recede a bit, that when we were together there wasn't room for the ugly parts of our jobs to intrude.

Truth be told, recent times were some of the happiest times of my life, I loved a beautiful woman and somehow, in spite of all the odds, despite everything, my faults and flaws and failures, she loved me.

I needed her like the air I breathe; something she'd told me as well more than once, it was something that she had a hard time believing too. She'd told me two nights ago that she wondered what she'd done to be so lucky, to have someone so wonderful who wanted her the same way she wanted me, that needed her the same way she did me.

Needless to say, we hadn't had time to say much meaningful after that little conversation, we'd found so much more enjoyable things to do with our mouths. That was another thing that was amazing; we were more and more in synch as lovers despite all our time together. Each time we seemed to be more and more intuitive, we didn't need to say what we wanted, we instinctively seemed to know.

Often just a smirk, a touch, a smile or a gleam in her eyes was all I needed to see to know what she needed, sometime it was hard, rough and fast, filling the room with our screams, cries and entreaties, sometimes slow, soft and passionate, our tears of joy mingling as we came together amid soft gasps and moans and whispered words of love and care. Sex with her had always been wonderful, but it seemed to be getting better as time went on.

Every day I felt more and more that we were truly meant to be together, that we really were two halves of the same whole and that we'd embarked on a journey together, our formerly disparate lives now happily joined as one, bound together by silken chains of passion and hope and tenderness and care and love.

I lay there in our bed, her scent surrounding me, a pale substitute for her presence but all I had until we were together again. I missed her when she wasn't here, so much so that I'd taken to raiding her wardrobe for some of her clothes, more than once she'd found me wearing a sweatshirt or a tee or a sweater that was hers. The first time she'd caught me I'd justified it that I didn't have something to wear, or that I was cold or something, but she'd just arched an eyebrow and smiled at me, leaving me blushing as I realised she'd seen right through me.

Then she'd strolled over and wrapped me in her arms, holding me close while whispering in my ear, telling me that I looked good in her clothes and I could wear anything of hers I wanted, anything would look good on me. I smiled in the dark as I remembered her words and the teasing nibble to my earlobe that followed. A few days later I'd caught her washing the car wearing one of my tees, making me smile at the sight.

Sighing, I rolled over in the bed, unable to settle with her gone. My ability to sleep soundly alone had long ago vanished, about the time we'd started sleeping together, now I only slept properly when she was there with me, as we slept wrapped in each other, her familiar warmth a comfort no matter the temperature. I could kick off the covers on warm nights, but I couldn't do without her touch, her arms around me, my head on her shoulder as the heat of her body filled me with an inner peace, she was my safe harbour, in her arms nothing bad could happen.

It was when she was gone, when I wasn't with her, on nights like this, that my fears got full reign. I found myself wondering if she would be alright, that nothing bad would happen, sometimes I felt the need to ring her, just to put my foolish fears to rest, to hear her voice on the other end of the line. She never minded, though her voice carried her concern that I was awake, not getting enough sleep.

She cared so much, the thought alone was comforting, making me wonder what I'd done to deserve a woman like her, and what I'd do without her.

Tonight wasn't so bad, other nights I could imagine getting a call, demanding I race to the hospital or even worse, a knock on the door, opening it to find someone I knew standing there, a look of dreadful pain on her face as she told me something terrible had happened.

Those were the times I felt an empty horror open within me, the fear of losing her leaving me shaking and crying. The thought of being alone again, of no longer having a life built around her one so painful that the thought left me cold and numb, shivering in the face of my deepest fears and formless terrors.

I don't know how long I lay there, restlessly tossing and turning, unable to properly settle, drifting in and out of half-sleep until, with the first faint blush of dawn staring to tint the morning pink, I heard the welcome sound of a key in the front door. She made her way through the house, trying to be quiet but I was attuned for her return, straining to hear every little noise as she undressed before reaching the bedroom.

Finally she appeared in the door, clad only in a bra and panties, which were left on the dresser as she moved towards the bed. I rolled over and smiled at her, getting an apologetic half smile in return.

"Hi, did I wake you?" I shook my head.

"No, wasn't really sleeping, just wanted you home" The smile I got in return made me melt, she knew exactly what I was saying.

She slid onto the bed and rolled over to snuggle up against me, her lips seeking mine as we kissed, arms and legs wrapping around each other. She was home and everything was right in the world once more.

"Is everything ok?" I felt her nod against me.

"Tell you all about it later" I smiled as we fitted together on the bed, both of us tired. I felt sleep calling me, pulling me back under now that she was home safe. I didn't fight it; I knew she would be there when I woke, here with me, whole, real and safe.

My love was home, all was right in the world once more.