It was sort of beautiful. When Paris was ravaged and perverted by Akuma. Almost as if someone had ripped a scab off and the festering sore was shown to everyone in the bright, vivid colors.

Perhaps beautiful wasn't the right word? It was aesthetically marvelous, and beautiful had too positive of a connotation. It was as gruesome and grotesque as it was pretty, but it almost seemed to keep all of her attention constantly.

She wondered if the others felt the same way. She wondered if it might've just been the adrenaline rushing through her system that made everything look so much brighter and clearer yet foggies and dimmer than any other time in her life.

It was for those same reasons that she loved whom she loved. They made feelings coarse through her veins and excitement and confusion rush through her.

She didn't know how to handle this type of emotion. Emotion wasn't something she could dissect and categorize. It wasn't that she could research the scientific papers and choose which emotions were merely infatuation and which were actually true love. Only she could judge them.

How does she compare such different experiences to each other? Especially when they overlap and shift so much. She was told it was just because she was young, but she doubted that even scholars and adults truly knew how emotion worked.

Chat Noir is like a tornado. She is filled with excitement and Adrenaline when she saw him. It was almost as if his very presence screamed to the part of her that was an Adrenaline junkie. She felt like a superhero when he looked at her. She felt strong and smart and wonderful. She was sassy and loudmouthed as ever and sometimes she was almost too harsh.

She didn't know why but she seemed so much…bigger when he was around. She NEEDS Chat Noir to be around, but the words can't come out. She plays her feelings off as a joke because she knows he likes her, but she doesn't really believe his feelings are serious.

Chat is so much like a tornado. Destructive and beautiful and she couldn't even see which way he was going. She didn't even really know who he was deep down. Who was her love under that mask?

Nathanaël is like the sunshine that finds a way to shine down through the clouds. His smile makes her day brighter and it's so confusing too. How her heart doesn't seem to rush a race, but it seems to slow. As if she was truly comfortable.

She felt every day, like life was a series of incorrect twists and turns and she looked at him and all of a sudden she recalled all the good and joy to be found. He was comforting, and she could not feel content unless she knew he was.

His art inspired her and, though she couldn't articulate it in any concrete way, he was as much her muse as she was his. She felt she could trust him with any secret and she could be happy with him even when she wasn't doing daring stunts.
It felt like electricity when Nathanaël held her hand and she was so confused because she found him adorable, her heart slowed down yet when she looked at him she saw someone who she would fight for and save. Like all superhero's would do with their chosen loves.

Adrien was so different and yet the same as the other two. He made her feel as if she were walking on air and tasting the sky. Her brain seemed to turn to mush when he looked at her and she could hardly heat whatever she said because her blood pounded in her ears like thunder.

When she saw Adrien doing something nice or sweet she could feel her heart swell in her chest and she wanted so much for him to look at her the way she looked at him, and was so nervous to even say so.

She might say the wrong thing. She might ramble and speak like a crazy person and make him think she wasn't good. Let him learn she wasn't powerful or strong. She knew she wasn't heroic. It was just an act. It wasn't even altruistic. She did it to feel the rush and to protect those she declares are hers.

How would she ever be able to tell any of them how she felt when she was such a failure? Even when she eventually won, she failed. Nevertheless, she could never stop. She couldn't quit on something that she needed so much it burned her deep down. She couldn't give up on the one thing she wanted more than her own strength. More than her father's approval and her sugary snacks.

She tried to balance three men in her soul, and she couldn't help but believe one day the veil would lift and she would look back at herself and shake her head at her own silliness. The way she does to Marinette and Felix's tenseness.

Adrien and Nathanaël both put effort into trying to get Kat to be happy all the time. The one thing they both could agree on being more important than all her attention not being on the other, is that Kat's smile lit up the room and they loved to see it.

Kat gave them hugs and spent her time with them and they both knew she was gonna choose one of them, but they came to a sort of truce. It became a sort of "let the best man win" situation. That was completely due to Felix.

Felix gave them both the overprotective big brother act. And a firm talking to on how to treat Kat. "If either of you harm Kat, I will destroy you. She is like my sister and I don't care if you are my brother. Hurt her and I will annihilate you." He sneered at the two of them and added, "Kat doesn't need to deal with two 15-year-old boys fighting over her like kindergarteners on the playground fighting over a toy."

The two of them TRIED to be civil. They weren't good at it because they couldn't help but insult each other under their breath and snark as much as they could behind Kat's back. Nathanaël constantly called Adrien an "annoying, pretty boy". Adrien retaliated by calling Nathanaël a "bratty art snob".

–

Felix, without the drama from Nathanaël and Adrien and Kat's hot mess of a relationship, was just conflicted because now he knew Marinette is Ladybug and he just couldn't seem to reconcile the two as one person.

Marinette avoided him now, because she knew Chat Blanc knew who she was, but she didn't know who he was. She was so conflicted on her own feelings, because she liked Chat Blanc. She could finally admit that to herself. With a lot of prompting and understanding from Kat, of course.

When Kat told Marinette what she did, Mari couldn't bring herself to rage and yell and freak out on Kat. She saw how tearfully her best friend reacted and how bad she felt about it. Kat's eyes could harden and look like almost black safes that no one could get through. But when she told Mari she was sorry, her eyes were deep and sorrowful. She felt sickened by her own failure and inability to do right by herself.

Mari couldn't help but hold her and try and comfort Kat. She saved the world and Mari herself, yet sees herself as the failure. Marinette loved Kat, and deep down, she realized didn't know what she would do if it was her job. To fight Kat and purify the Akuma herself. Could she even beat Kat? Kat is so much smarter and better than her at just about everything she tries.

Marinette couldn't hold Kat accountable for making a single mistake. She made oh so many mistakes in her life. And Kat was always there to help her through her mistakes. (Even if she HAD to say "I told you so" and complain the whole time). It took a while but Kat and Marinette got back to their old tricks, they texted each other about cute boys and daydreams and said everything to each other and could never tell a lie.

Kat hung out with Felix whenever she wasn't busy with her now booming social life. "Two dreamboats are blowing up my phone, Felix…H-how do I deal with this? How do people deal with many people having crushes on you? I have three and I already feel like that is way too many. I mean, how do YOU deal with it?"

The two of them had put their phones on the table near his bed as she had this conversation with him. They both had a pet peeve of answering phones while talking (unfortunately they also shared the HABIT of doing that same thing to others).
Marinette was texting Kat because she had to tell Kat about her internally freaking out. Kat was always good at calming her down. Her text was a rant about Felix and how great he was and how even though his flaws she could see how genuinely good he was.

Unfortunately, Marinette wasn't really paying attention to whom she sent it to, and she only had two numbers on speed dial. "Kitty-Kat" and " Felix " and her thumb slipped, sending that text to Felix's sleek black phone instead of Kat's glittery red and green phone. (Halloween DID just end, but Kat wasn't ALLOWED to freak over Christmas Time until at least a week before Thanksgiving.)

Kat took a few moments to decide what to do, running her fingers through his hair. The tips had been temporarily dyed red and green for the Christmas season. (She had been decorating everything but not Felix's or Mari's rooms. She got to do that after Thanksgiving.)

When she made the decision, she grabbed his phone and ran out of the room as her thumbs frantically tried to type "FelixTheCat" as fast as possible. She definitely deserved friend brownie points, especially since Felix was now chasing her down and swearing revenge because she took his PHONE.

She went to the new text. It was funny that Mari's name was made when he was torn between his crush on her and how annoying he felt she was. The Contact ID was "Mariughnette ".

They ran all the way to the front door before Kat deleted the text and was immediately wrestled to the ground by an angry blonde.

"Give me back my phone!" Felix growled. The two of them were now just wrestling on the cold marble floor.

They stopped abruptly when the door opened. Kat's eyes widened and she looked up and saw Adrien looking jealous. So, Felix was on top of her in a suggestive position as she laid on the floor and she couldn't even explain why…. UGH. Why wasn't anything EVER easy?

Felix just got up and rolled his eyes at his brother. "You always assume things. I'm in love with Mari- DAMMIT!"

Kat began to chuckle and hold her sides. God damn it, that is just completely hilarious.

Adrien smirked, especially as he was distracted from ranting about the last time Adrien and Mari made assumptions about the two of them.

Felix found it hilarious and it made his head bigger when it happened and Kat just got annoyed.

It wasn't Adrien's fault! Mari and Adrien go near Felix's room and they hear moaning. And Kat is standing on top of a bare-chested Felix as he moaned in pleasure from her back walking. What else were the two of them supposed to think?!

Kat was extremely angry at how her friends disrespected the Christmas Spirit. Felix was making her listen to him whine about the fact that all of a sudden, the girl who was obsessed with him, actually rejected Chat Blanc.

Kat was annoyed because she was in the middle of watching a Christmas movie when he came into her room and started to whine about it.

~ Flashback ~

Felix was finally able to relax and decide that Marinette was a beautiful, wonderful, and amazing girl. The fact that she was Ladybug was just icing on the cake.

She wouldn't talk to him right now as Felix, because he didn't know how to apologize for accidentally breaking her heart when he was unaware that she was snooping.

So, as Chat Blanc he went to Ladybug during their patrols. Chat Blanc, for the first time, actually spelled out his feelings and how much he genuinely admired her.

No matter how gentle it was, her rejection hurt. The only reason his emotional concoction of anger, jealousy, and genuine hurt didn't incite an akumatization was that he was still wearing his ring.

She told him she loved someone else. Someone…someone better than him? Who? Someone smarter or more handsome? Or nicer? What could it be?

~End Flashback~

It filled him with anger and jealousy as his fists clenched angrily. He whined and pouted and acted like a child who had things taken from him.

Simultaneously, he now spent his time around Marinette and sent out possessive vibes. She was probably in love with someone she knew. He would just have to scare everyone else off.

Kat was busy trying to get both of them to calm down with their overly emotional relationship. "I swear to god, you two. It's Christmas! Can't you tome down the ANGST for like a week or two?"

Nathanaël and Adrien tried to make her feel better, even though she wasn't really THAT angry, they were just being a thorn in her Christmas excitement.

That, of course, involved several snowball fights. And by mid - January was stuck in bed with the flu. She was always the first to get sick, the others would get sick later on.