AN: This chapter took quite a different turn than I had intended it to. Since Lily and Severus are getting older, the story will have three or so chapters for each school year rather than two. I've been really sick this past week and a half, and I had hoped what that meant was that I'd get this chapter up by Tuesday night. Wrong. It just meant that I've spent a longer time than usual reworking how the plot is going to go for the next couple chapters. I know you probably don't care about all these details so I leave you to the reading. Let me know what you think.
Edit: My old laptop plus this site's doc manager made for some odd errors (all the italics running together and some other strange things). I tried to fix it, but I may not have caught all of them. Ugh!
Chapter Seven: Made You Squirm
End of summer until November of third year
"I've got a crush on a pretty pistol.
Should I tell her that I feel this way?
I've got love songs in my head.
Killing us away."
-Marilyn Manson
Lily,
You said I could write you so I'm writing you. How's old Mary doing? This summer sure hasn't been boring so I guess I can't complain too much. Lucius' manor is even huger than I thought. I don't even think they use half the rooms. I guess his father just wanted to buy the biggest one and show off to everyone. Lucius' family is all a bit of crazy. I wasn't expecting that. His brother especially. It's like he has two personalities, one for their parents and one he only uses in front of Lucius. They have all these house elves who cook, clean, and do everything in the house. If the house elves do anything wrong they beat themselves. I guess it can be funny at first but then it's just sort of depressing. I wish we could use our wands. I've got all these ideas for spells I would like to make and no way to test it besides Lucius testing them on me and really, that gets old after the third or fourth time. Did you get all your books? Lucius' father bought me all of mine, all new copies, too. That means I had extra money, plus the money I earned tutoring, and that's how I'm sending you this message. The owl that's delivering it is my own owl! You're the first person I'm sending post to. I'm still thinking of a name for her. That's all I can think of. Write me back.
Your friend
Severus Snape
"Who is that for, Severus?" drawled Lucius, who stifled a yawn. He was poking his head into the guest room where Severus had been staying. Severus was all ready in his pajamas and was lying across the bed, his new schoolbooks strewn out around him. Immediately, he folded up the letter and stuck it into its envelope. His small black owl hooted excitedly, snatched envelope and set off out the window. She'd been waiting all day to deliver a letter, and Severus was quite glad to be free of her for a bit as she'd been hooting nonstop and nibbling his fingers since tea time. He supposed he had to go easy on her—she was an owlet after all—but he'd never had a pet before and it was a little overwhelming.
"Mulciber," Severus lied. "He asked me to correct his last History of Magic test before the summer was out."
"Ah," said Lucius, strolling into the room. He was wearing black silk pajamas, his hair swept back from his face, looking put-together as usual. Severus had learned enough about Lucius in the short time he'd visited Malfoy Manor to write a series of character studies on his friend—not that he'd ever want to. Lucius seemed to switch effortlessly from being boastful, smooth and confident to anxious and high strung in a matter of seconds, something Severus had never experienced from him at Hogwarts. Lucius' family seemed to put him in a highly defensive state. Lucius and Hagawthe had a particularly unusual relationship, which Severus figured he did not understand because he did not have any siblings. Lucius spent copious amounts of time on both his appearance and making simple decisions, which his father and brother teased him about mercilessly. The family had gone to a fine restaurant in Knockturn Alley, and Lucius had spent almost fifteen minutes deciding on what to eat, wringing his hands the entire time.
"Deciding drives him insane, " Hagawthe announced loudly to Severus, just as Lucius was voicing how perhaps he should have gone with the steak instead of the mushroom risotto, " you'd do well to know that if you're going to be spending all your time together." To Lucius, he sneered, "You're going to throw it up anyway."
Lucius' father joined in on the verbal discourse but in Severus' opinion, he was just as loud as Lucius was, and twice as bigheaded. He seemed intent on letting everyone around himknow how much money he had. Anywhere they went, he would come out of the store with something new. Lucius' mother was almost disturbingly apathetic to everything that was going on and seemed to be very good at pretending all of them did not exist, which must have taken years of practice given how loud they all were. Hagawthe's wife had at first seemed to be uncomfortable with the ways of the Malfoy clan, until Severus had realized that she liked to join in on the heckling and snobby comments, but under her breath. She particularly seemed to dislike Lucius. Severus had never met people like this in his life. It was like reading a novel. It had not been a bad visit, but Severus was wholly ready to be back at Hogwarts.
Lucius yawned again, and perched at the end of the bed, crossing his legs primly before him. "Want to do something?" he asked. "I'm bored."
"What would we do? You've all ready broken my nose twice today and you're not very good at putting it right," Severus replied, rubbing it to prove a point. It still stung. Lucius was practicing for his new class, Magical Maladies. He told Severus that he'd only signed up so he could curse the people he hated in his year. He admitted he did not particularly care about healing injuries, only creating them.
"Sorry," Lucius said with a smirk. He gave a slight chortle at all of the books. "Are you looking forward to going back tomorrow or what?"
Severus nodded. "I can't wait to use magic again. And I've got that double period of Defense Against the Dark Arts."
"Yes, but with Gryffindors," Lucius replied, wrinkling his nose. "Maybe you can find a way to kill Potter and Black and make it look like an accident. I'd help you."
Severus laughed. "Yeah, maybe," he said, but he was more excited about showing off to Lily. Ever since that first dueling lesson he'd given her, he'd been thinking endlessly about her, touching her. He was beginning to think he was going a little mad with it. He didn't just think about her while he was wanking off either; he thought in broad daylight about how much he liked positioning his hand on her back, whispering directions in her ear. He figured he just liked dueling. But this summer had confused him. Not only had Lily asked for him to show her how to duel again, she'd made a big deal of not knowing how to position herself. He'd never known Lily to forget something so easily. Not to mention the time at her house when she mistakenly touched him during playing Scrabble. His entire body had tensed up, and he'd had to get out of there before she could notice the instant erection she'd given him, his too-small jeans tenting up around it. It had been abysmal. And then, he'd tried to hang out with her but she'd avoided him. And then,she'd invited that idiot Mary MacDonald to come stay. Severus was afraid Mary was going to snatch Lily's brain. Lily was all ready becoming gigglier—he didn't want Mary putting ideas in Lily's head about how dreamySirius Black was. Lily was his friend, and if she ever decided she fancied a stupid, over-blown prat like Sirius, Severus was going to have to protect her from what could be a terrible fate. It was the least he could do.
"Narcissa wrote today," said Lucius, studying his fingernails. "She's looking forward to seeing us. She wants to sit together on the train."
"Are you two even going together?" Severus asked, and it was then that he realized he hadn't heard much from Lucius about her since the double date that past winter.
Lucius gave a small shrug. "It's a bit complicated. She's very shy," he said, and it was obvious he did not wish to give any more details, which did not bother Severus in the least. He'd rather talk to Lucius about other things now, and keep thoughts of girls to himself. Otherwise Lucius might pry about who he fancied and he had no idea about how to answer that. He hardly thought he fancied Lily. He just liked her a whole lot and very much wanted to touch her. He wondered if Lucius would understand. "She hardly speaks to me now. Sometimes it would be helpful to be able to read girls' minds," Lucius was saying.
"Can some wizards actually read minds?" Severus asked suddenly, unable to believe he'd forgotten to ask until now. "I've looked throughout some of our schoolbooks and I've never seen anything about it."
"I don't know," said Lucius, looking interested. "Why do you ask?"
"I think my mum can read minds," Severus replied, "but she wouldn't say. I don't know why I can't find anything on it—"
"It's called the study of Legilimency," said Hagawthe from the doorway, and then he stepped into the room, wearing a wide grin that showcased his perfect teeth and seemed to make his chin jut out even further than normal. "Look at you two, getting all cozy."
Lucius immediately jumped off of the bed, looking red in the face, and Severus backed up against the headboard. "Get out of here! I'll tell Father you won't leave us alone—" Lucius said.
"And I'll tell him you were snuggled up in bed with your little third year friend," Hagawthe replied. "Honestly, Lucius."
Exasperated, Severus shook his head. "That's not what we were doing at all!" he said, attempting a tone that was both polite and assertive. He was only a guest, after all, and besides, he wanted to ask Lucius' brother more about this Legilimency thing.
"Oh, I know that's not what you were doing," corrected Hagawthe.
Lucius looked ready to spit fire. "You get out of here! I'll tell—"
The two brothers were nose-to-nose, looking remarkably Yin and Yang with Lucius' pale face and blonde hair, and Hagawthe's dark hair and black cloak. "We both know you won't tell, Lucius," said Hagawthe so quietly and eerily that the hairs on Severus' neck stood up.
Lucius seemed to experience the same reaction. His face became very somber and he bid them goodnight, brushing past his brother and going back to his room.
"He never could take a joke," said Hagawthe, and then to Severus' annoyance he took a seat in the leather armchair across from the bed. "They don't teach you how to be a Legilimens at Hogwarts, which is why you cannot find any information on it in your current books. It's a dangerous subject, see. Hogwarts is a very safe school. You can thank Albus Dumbledore for that."
Severus raised an eyebrow. "How does anyone know it, then? Is it something you can learn once you've aged up?"
Hagawthe ran a hand through his dark wavy hair. "You can learn a great many things once you have graduated from Hogwarts. However, should you want to get started earlier, they may have text on it in the Restricted Section, but as you probably know, you'd need a note to access anything there."
Severus shook his head slowly. He hadn't known that, but now that he did he considered all of the text he could read on all sorts of subjects not fit to be taught at Hogwarts. "How do you get a note?" he found himself asking.
"You need a professor," said Hagawthe, "unless you're good at forging spells. That was how I checked out most of my books at the end of my school career. I daresay you can teach yourself—you'll find out how in any old book on simple spells—"
"Won't the librarian know?" asked Severus. "I mean, don't they check that sort of thing?"
"Say you're writing a big report. And don't look suspicious," was Hagawthe's simple answer. "There wouldn't be any reason for her to check, then, would there?" Severus wondered if it was really that easy—he could just imagine the self-important Hagawthe, prized Quidditch player and loved student, lying to get all of the answers he wanted. It irked Severus and made him a little jealous. "If your mother knows Legilimency, she must be quite a talented witch. It takes a lot of drive to be able to pull the thoughts out of other people. Of course, she could just be nosy."
"I don't know," said Severus. "All I know is that I want to know as much as I can at Hogwarts—I want to be the best in my year."
"You seem intelligent, which is more than I can say for others my brother has brought back with him. I daresay that's why he's kept you around this long—no doubt he was tired of his usual sort of companion." Hagawthe flipped his wrist with a mock-haughty expression. "No, surprisingly my brother is not totally stupid… but he's improvident."
Severus stared at Hagawthe, trying to figure out why he was prattling on so much. What did any of it mean? Part of Severus felt satisfied he'd been one of Lucius' "longest" friends, but given that they'd only really begun getting to know each other, he had no idea whether that was a good thing. He didn't want to be dropped by Lucius, particularly now that Lucius knew Snape's father was alive.
"Yes, you're certainly different," Hagawthe went on, and his eyes suddenly searched Severus' face, wandered down his torso. Instantly, the piercing gaze locked back into Severus' eyes. "It's uncommon for a Pureblood wizard to be unaccustomed to seeing house elves," he said suddenly.
"I… I've seen them before," Severus lied.
"But you don't own any," said Hagawthe skeptically.
Severus' heart was pounding. It would be bad if Lucius knew he was a halfblood but he had not even considered Hagawthe finding out first. "No… but it doesn't mean I haven't seen them before," Severus said, trying to sound normal.
"I knew it. You're not from any money at all, are you, Severus?" Hagawthe asked. "My father guessed it—it's not a horrible thing, but I must admit I am going to have a chat with Lucius about the sort of company he's keeping these days. Intelligent or not, it doesn't look good for Malfoys to be parading around with just anyone these days, not with Father's recent successes."
Severus stared blankly at Hagawthe. This had not been what he was expecting.
"Your accent, your clothes… No doubt my father thinks helping you out will make him look even more charitable to the public eye, but frankly, I have no idea what you're doing, staying in my house. We may all be wizards, but you've got nothing in common with our family, Severus. I trust you'll remember that? Goodnight," said Hagawthe briskly and left the room, shutting the door behind him.
Severus sat there alone, his face burning at Hagawthe's words. He really, really hated Lucius' brother and he decided that if he was lucky for anything, it was growing up as an only child. For a grown-up, Hagawthe definitely acted immature. But then again, Severus wondered who he thought he was kidding—it was pretty obvious he was not from money now that Hagawthe mentioned it. Embarrassed, he thought about how he must have looked, clutching the envelope of coins his mother had given him before he'd gone to Lucius', wearing his robes that were now higher than his ankles. He'd felt out of place with Lucius' family, watching them argue over which new clothes Lucius should get from Diagon Alley for back to school and he'd never been in a fancy restaurant before. He wondered if the way he'd stared at all the different silverware had given him away.
Again as he'd done with the thought of Lily, he asked himself if Lucius knew, or if he would care. Lily was the only person who knew about his background, and it did not seem to bother her much. Of course, she was different than other people. She was amazing.
His face burned more at that thought. What's wrong with me? he thought, she's just my friend. He sighed. My very nice-looking friend.
"Lily!" greeted Remus Lupin, giving her a hug outside the train compartment Lily and Mary had chosen. "How was your summer?"
Lily's heart gave a nervous little leap at the interaction, and Mary laughed from behind her, which made her blush. "It was really good. Marycame to visit." She shot her friend a little glare. "And yours?" Lily took a seat next to Mary and put her book bag down on the floor.
"Oh, it was just fine," said Remus. "I'm really glad to be back though, honestly. Summer at my house gets a little dull. Can I sit with you both?" The train whistle sounded and the engine began to pump.
Mary giggled. "Of course you can!" She made a giant show of scooting over in the compartment so that there was a giant gap where Remus could sit between her and Lily.
"Hey you lot!" greeted James Potter, who slid in the compartment and immediately sat down in the space between Mary and Lily. Mary sighed, shaking her head. "What's with you?" James asked. "Oi, Remus, what're you standing around for?"
Remus sat across from them, his expression unreadable. "Hey James," he greeted. "How was your summer?"
"Fantastic! I never wanted to leave! I mean, who would want to come back to homework?" James groaned. "Not that I didn't want to see all my favorite people though." He grinned. "All right, Evans?"
Lily made a face. "I'm fine, thanks. But unlike you, I'm quite glad to be back—"
"How am I not surprised? SIRIUS! PETER! GET IN HERE!" James yelled.
The two boys waved and grinned, basically falling into the compartment on either side of Remus.
"Hiya!" Peter greeted, his pockets so stuffed with sweets from the trolley that they were bursting at the seams. He began distributing candy to everyone. "My mother gave me extra money," he explained, "I think she wanted me to get new robes but I found this hemming charm so I'm saving my money for Hogsmede—"
"A hemmingcharm?" James burst out. "Peter, you hang out with your mum way too much—"
"Hello, ladies," said Sirius with a mock-cheesy grin.
Lily rolled her eyes, but Mary waved. "Hi Sirius. Did your brother ever get his racing broom?"
Sirius blushed. "Let's not talk about him, he's a whiny little brat."
"He and Snivellus are probably best mates in Slytherin," chimed in James.
"Actually, Severus doesn't like him," Lily replied. "He says he's babyish—"
"Takes one to know one," said James. "Ah. Speak of the devil! HELLO SNIVELLUS! "
Severus and Lucius Malfoy were standing in front of the compartment, and Severus turned around and frowned.
Lily smiled, giving him a little wave. She'd missed Severus for the remainder of the summer, and she'd been looking forward to seeing him again even if she was still a bit mystified by what she'd seen him do in the clearing.
He gave a short nod of acknowledgement and Lucius stuck his face on the compartment window and pointed to the Head Boy badge on his robes with a big smile. Lucius and Severus walked away laughing, and Sirius made a rude gesture at the window. Lily bristled—she did not like the way Snape had regarded her. What was he trying to do, look big in front of Lucius Malfoy? That wouldn't do at all. She crossed her arms, annoyed.
"Oh bloody hell. With Malfoy as Head Boy, no one will be able to so much as fart in the hallways now," moaned James, putting his face in his hands.
"Severus, can I speak to you?" Lily asked, sitting down beside him. They were in the Defense of the Dark Arts classroom, waiting for class to start. To the side of Snape, Rosier laughed and leaned in.
"Sorry Evans," she said. "There isn't enough room for your boobs here."
Severus gave her an annoyed expression and turned to Lily. "What do you want?" he whispered.
"Don't ask me like that! You haven't even tried to talk to me once! Why are you acting weird?" Lily said back.
"I'm not acting weird," Severus said quietly, "I've just been busy. It's only the first day of class after all."
"Well, I think it's odd you haven't talked to me once."
"You didn't hang out with me most of the summer and I didn't come over and yell at you," Severus replied, lowering his voice.
"I'm not yelling," Lily said loudly. "Why are you acting off?"
"I'm not acting off," Severus retorted. "Can we talk about this later?"
"If you'll even talk to me," Lily snapped.
"Anothernew professor?" sighed Rosier, looking glum as a dark-skinned wizard in purple robes walked up to the front of the room. Lily folded her arms and looked away from Severus.
"Why are you sitting next to Rosier anyway?" she asked Severus out of the side of her mouth.
"Not by choice," he replied quietly. "She always tries to cheat off me."
After taking roll, the man stepped up to the podium. "As many of you know," he boomed," Professor Rughvaught was summoned back to take his full-time position at Saint Mungo's. My name is Salvander Shacklebolt. I am first and foremost a worker for Ministry of Magic in the Department of Cursed Objects. I graduated from Hogwarts almost twenty years ago. I am a Gryffindor alumnus—"
James and Sirius cheered.
Shacklebolt held up his hand. "Butdon't think that means I will favor you. Gryffindors can be a right pack of over-confident dunderheads, and yes, in my school days I would include myself in that category. Now I believe you've had the regular curriculum so far, first year focusing on the history of how dark magic was forged, and also histories of ancient beasts and monsters, second year was focused on… Well, wake up, all—someone tell me what you learned last year—"
Severus promptly raised his hand and Shacklebolt nodded. "We focused mostly on the ways to identify dangerous creatures and half-breeds, namely vampires, werewolves and giants. We also began to learn dueling strategies, we did an end of term report where we chose a half-breed to focus on, we learned several disarming spells and a few defensive strategies," he said quickly and then drew a breath. Several students in class laughed quietly.
"Five points to Slytherin. Snape, was it?" said Shacklebolt. Behind Snape, Sirius groaned.
"Good job, Sev," whispered Lily in his ear. He felt his body tingle up and he sent her a little smile. She couldn't be too mad at him, then. That was good. He absolutely couldn't stand being at the wrong end of her temper, even if she wasacting wonky.
"He asked for what we learned last year, not every detail we ever learned in our lives," whispered Potter from the seat directly behind Severus, and poked him in the head with the end of his quill. Severus turned around and glared.
"Shut up," Lily said harshly.
James hissed at her like a cat. Sirius meowed.
The second week of classes, Lily excused herself from Charms to the lavatory, feeling a bit off. Once she sat down in a stall, she was completely horrified—she even gasped out loud. Dark blood had soaked through her pants and was even all over the back of her robes. She had read about the menstrual cycle two summers ago in her puberty book, but she figured that was something that only happened to unlucky people. She was completely distraught. Obviously, she could not ever leave the loo. That was it. She was going to post up in this stall forever. She sighed loudly, feeling dangerously close to both tears and anger.
"Are you all right in there?" asked a smooth, quiet voice from the next stall.
Lily turned bright red. In her horror, she hadn't realized she was not alone. But now she noticed the fancy, pointed-toe boots on the floor of the stall beside hers. "Everything's okay," she said quietly. There was a moment of silence, and Lily decided maybe she was being a bit ridiculous. She couldn't very well stay in here forever. She had Charms still, and next was Potions, and after all, she was rather hungry for dinner. "Actually," she said slowly, "I've got a sort of problem. I think I've got my… my…" She took a deep breath and took the plunge. "I've got my period. It's my first time."
"Oh dear," said the girl. "I'm sorry. Hold on a moment, will you? I haven't got anything for you, but I can take you up to the hospital wing. Nurse McIntire always stocks these pads that keep for a week without you having to change them or anything." The girl got out of her stall, washed her hands, and Lily slowly emerged, embarrassed.
The girl turned out to be the Slytherin fourth year Narcissa Black. "You'll be okay," she said gently, and though Lily had previously thought she was pretty, she'd never seen such kindness in her eyes. "I'll walk with you. I've got a free study period before Care of Magical Creatures."
"Narcissa, right? You're in my friend's house," said Lily. "Severus Snape?"
"Oh yes, Severus," said Narcissa. "He's my boyfriend's—well, he's Lucius Malfoy's best friend. And your name?"
Lucius Malfoy's best friend?Thought Lily, a bit irritated. "I'm Lily Evans," she replied. "I'm in Gryffindor—"
"That sounds familiar," said Narcissa quietly. "I've never heard the Evans name before."
"I'm the first of my family to go to Hogwarts," said Lily.
Something shifted in Narcissa's eyes but she said nothing.
When they reached the nurse's, Lily beamed. "Thanks a lot," she said, "it was really nice of you—"
"Yes, well, don't mention it," Narcissa replied, her tone a bit frosty. "Good luck."
"Don't tell Severus about this," Lily said quickly. "Please?"
"I wouldn't do that," Narcissa told her, and she seemed earnest.
"What's the Slug Club?" asked Remus, staring over Lily's shoulder at the rather flashy invitation she'd just received for the first start of term gathering. They were sitting outside in the courtyard on one of the benches, waiting for James to get off Quidditch practice. The three of them had a project due for Transfigurations that they needed to work on.
"Slughorn invites some people to banquets and dances," replied Lily, reading over the invite which was supposed to admit her to a formal dessert social. "I don't quite know how he picks out who he wants."
"You're brilliant at Potions, Lily," said Remus, "I'm sure that's part of it. Not to mention everything else. I just can't quite throw myself into school the way you do—"
"That's rubbish," she replied, opening her bag and putting the invitation inside. "You got the best marks in our year on that paper you did on werewolves. Severus was quite wound up about it."
Remus turned a bit pink. "That was really nothing. I sort of—well, I wasn't really proud of that. I all ready knew a lot about the subject. It was honestly kind of cheating, I only did it because I procrastinated and James told me I should, Severus probably should have gotten the best marks-"
"Don't be silly," Lily said with a giggle. "You did a great presentation!"
Behind them, there was a crash. They both turned around to find that Severus had fallen into some bushes just beyond the bench. He stood up at once, brushing himself off and looking a bit wild.
"Severus, were you spying on us?" Lily asked.
"No," he said shortly, "I was out here to find you because I got my Slug Club invite, I didn't know you'd be with Lupin—"
"Hello, Snape," smiled Remus falsely.
"Anyway," Severus said, "are you going?"
"Of course, Severus. It sounds like a lot of fun—"
"Dessert, formal, social," Severus rattled off bleakly. "All things I hate."
"You hate dessert?" asked Remus, sounding a bit amused.
"He's being funny," Lily said.
"Hardly," said Severus.
"I guess dessert isn't quite dark enough for you," remarked James, striding in and standing opposite Snape, dressed in his Quidditch uniform and flexing his snitch-arm.
"Potter," Severus said angrily. "What are you doing here?"
"I go to school here, smarty!" James said.
"We're working on a project," Lily said. "You're welcome to hang out with us if you want—"
"Evans—" protested James.
"Don't worry, Potter. I have better things to do," said Severus, and hustled off.
"Yes, fly away, bat!" called James.
"Don't do that," Lily snapped. "I'm going after him. You two can sort out the project. I've done a lot on it anyway." She tossed a notebook at James' face and then ran off after Severus. When she caught up with him, he was wiping his face. "Severus?"
"Ugh, go away," he said thickly. She noticed he had a twig stuck in his hair.
"Were you crying?" asked Lily, trying to ignore the twig.
"I don't cry," Severus sniffled. "I'm just a little angry, okay? Every time I want to see you, you're hanging out with Potter and Lupin or some other damn idiot—"
"I'm not hanging out with Potter. What does he have to do with this? We're doing a project together, a project that's going to be late because all he cares about is Quidditch," Lily said.
Severus' expression brightened. "Still," he said. "When can I see you? You said you wanted to, and I haven't seen you anywhere besides class—"
"I could say the same to you. You're always with your new best friend," said Lily.
"New best friend?"
"Lucius Malfoy," Lily replied," Narcissa Black says you two are best friends. I thought you didn't see him besides dueling—"
"Oh yeah, well, I do see him sometimes. It would be impossible not to," Severus said slowly, "but that's not why I haven't seen you.I haven't seen you 'cause you're always busy. I haven't even gotten to talk to you about summer or anything. You kept avoiding me before I went to Lucius' house. Did Mary MacDonald tell you you'd get cooties from me or something?"
Lily avoided his eye contact, remembering instantly how she'd walked in on him touching himself, and how odd that had made her feel. There hadn't been a night over the summer that she hadn't thought about that—the sounds he made, the way he pumped his member in his hand, the feeling of guilt and fascination she had while watching him… "No, she didn't say anything," Lily said. "I just got busy, that's all."
"So you wanna go with me to Slughorn's stupid thing?" asked Severus.
Lily nodded, "Yeah, if you try not to complain the entire time. Honestly, Severus. You hate dessert now?"
"It's not my favorite," he said, but he was smiling slightly. Lily watched him. Something about him was different. It could have been the fact that his voice was no longer alternating between squeaking and going low. He was speaking in a new, solely deep register that made him sound older and more cutting, if that was possible. He'd also surpassed her in height again, despite her own growth spurt over the summer. Her eyes were about level with his nose. His face was still thin, but it had filled out, making his nose look less dramatically large. She was surprised at how different her friend had gotten in such a short amount of time. Or perhaps it was just that she hadn't studied him like this in awhile. "What're you looking at?" he asked her.
"Nothing," she said. "You have a stick in your hair—"
"Oh," he replied, and shook his head, his shoulder-length hair flipping from side to side.
"Wait—that didn't do anything, here, lemme—" She took out the twig and grinned. "I can't believe you fell in a bush."
"Shut up, you," he said.
"I'd better go help them with that project," Lily said.
"Aw," Severus protested. "Hang out with me instead?" he asked throatily.
Lily's insides did a little somersault. "I'd really better go, but I'll see you Saturday night at the party, okay?"
Severus nodded glumly. "Okay."
Severus was leading a study group in the Slytherin common room on distraction spells that Shacklebolt had taught them that day.
"Spell to make a windstorm," read Avery from a note card.
"Airrealius," Mulciber said. "Spell to make a snake come out of your wand?"
"No idea," replied Avery, throwing down his cards. "To hell with this test. I'm going to fail it—"
"Serpensortia," Severus snapped. "Honestly, that's the easiest one. Not to mention the best."
"Not all of us are as nerdy as you, Snape," Rosier said. "Give us a break, we've been studying three hours now."
"You asked me to help you," Severus said," and I'm just being honest. The test's on Friday, so you've still got time. If you were better at studying, you'd be getting this straight away—"
"Who is Shacklebolt kidding, anyway?" Mulciber voiced, ignoring Severus' annoyance. "This kind of memorizing work is completely ridiculous. I can't learn this way."
"If you don't memorize spells, you'll just be waving your wand around while you get cursed!" Severus said tersely. "But see if I care. Get cursed. I'm going to bed."
"Sweet dreams," Rosier said, with a tone of disdain in her voice. They handed Snape several Galleons, which he pocketed immediately. He packed up his books and headed down the stairs to the common room.
"Hello, Severus," greeted Lucius, who was coming up, followed by Regulus Black. "How are you doing?"
"Hello, Severus," echoed Regulus.
"I'm tired of knowing so many stupid people," replied Severus, sending Regulus a glare. "Other than that, I'm okay."
"That's too bad," Regulus replied sympathetically, completely missing Snape's sour expression that was directed at him.
Lucius snickered. "I know what you mean. Being Head Boy really puts this entire school in perspective. Plus, working with Andromeda again is just plain hysterical. She's so furious I got the position that she hardly speaks to me. Thank Salazar. You'll be free to duel tomorrow, won't you, Severus?"
Severus nodded eagerly. "I want to try out some new spells."
Lucius' eyes lit up. "Regulus," he said enchantingly, "would you like to start hanging out with Severus and me?"
The younger boy grinned. "That would be great!"
Severus smirked knowingly at Lucius. This was going to be great fun.
"I've decided I'm never going to get married or have children," said Scarlet, whose summer had apparently been ruined by her cousin coming for a visit, bearing his newborn infant. "It seems really annoying."
Scarlet, Muruvi, Alice, Lily and Mary were all spread out in front of the Gryffindor common room fire, talking and studying the newest spells they'd learned in Charms. Alice flicked her wand and turned a Galleon coin into a cockroach and back again, which took a lot of effort because the cockroach moved so fast.
"I want to have one child," she said. "Only one. And I don't care if I have a husband or boyfriend or not—"
"Well, you'd have to at some point," laughed Mary, "unless you're just going to get yourself pregnant!"
"Can that happen?" Muruvi asked, looking disturbed.
"No," Scarlet said quickly, "though I read in Witch Weekly that some woman in Yorkshire used a potion to get herself pregnant, but the potion was faulty and now she has a hundred kids…"
"I heard it was fifty," said Alice, "and anyway, all I meant was I just want a baby. I think they're nice. I would teach mine all kinds of useful things."
"Ugh, I don't want a baby," said Lily, turning her sickle into a button. She sighed, said the spell again, and it became a cockroach and scurried away before she could fix it. She'd never voiced this opinion aloud, but really, she thought pregnancy was a bit frightening. "And I don't know if I want to get married. I don't want to stay at home."
"You don't have to stay at home," said Mary. "You can do anything you want. My mum works for the Ministry and my dad stayed at home to raise me."
"Well, my mother does everything around the house and even though she seems happy, I just never want to be like that," Lily said with a shrug. "I'd rather do something exciting, like invent new potions or work in a bookstore—"
"That sounds boring!" Mary said.
"Not to me. I like books and I like potions. Imagine if I could open my own shop and just read all day?"
"I want to help people," said Alice. "I want to work for the Ministry and help out in some way, maybe fight some dark wizards—"
"That sounds good," Lily agreed, "something like that would be fun." She and Alice struck poses reminiscent of "Charlie's Angels", which Lily had told them all about, and Mary laughed. "What are dark wizards, though?"
"I always forget you're Muggle-born, Lily," said Muruvi. "Dark wizards—"
"That's right, she'd be the expert, being that her family's all in Slytherin—"
"Quiet, Mary. Dark wizards are just people who choose to perform the dark arts instead of using defensive spells against them. They use curses that actually hurt people, or curses to get people to tell them what they want to hear… to get information that the people wouldn't share if they weren't cursed," Muruvi said. "They use the Unforgivable Curses—"
"What does that mean?" Lily wanted to know, and a tingle went up her spine like it used to do when she'd read the scary stories she loved so much, like learning about the Dementors.
"There's three, the first one's the Imperius Curse," replied Mary. "That's the one she was pretty much just talking about. You can get someone to do whatever you want."
"A lot of crimes have to do with it," Scarlet said. "Most of the crimes in the DailyProphet have to do with the Imperius, because you can't prove whether someone was acting on it or not—"
"Then there's the Cruciatus Curse," added Alice, "which is one where you make someone feel such horrible pain that they can't move—"
"Sometimes it makes people go crazy, and then they aren't right after that," Muruvi said.
"Why would you want to use it on someone?" Lily wanted to know, her heartbeat rising.
"You get sent to Azkaban if you get caught using any of them, but some people have used it in defense, you know, like I heard about a girl getting raped and using the Cruciatus," Mary explained. At the other girls' stares, she said importantly, "You know what that means, right? She didn't want to have sex with this boy and he made her."
Alice made a face. "That's awful."
Lily nodded, her eyes wide. Being that she could hardly imagine having sex, she had no idea what that must be like.
"It is, so she found the boy again and she put the Cruciatus Curse on him. My mum was all for her to get off trial but she ended up going to Azkaban anyway. They said she was dangerous. Other people just use it for fun, though. Or because someone made them mad," said Mary.
"Then the third one is the worst," said Muruvi. "It's the killing curse. Just one spell, and you can kill someone. Then they're just gone."
"Wait… I remember hearing about that one," Lily said. "I think Severus told me about it one time a few summers ago—"
"He would know about that. No offense, Lily, but Severus always seems to know quite a lot of creepy things. I saw him in the back of History of Magic making himself bleed," Scarlet said with a grimace.
"What?" Lily asked. "What do you mean?"
"Just like I said. He was muttering some curse on himself and putting his wand on his hand and blood was dripping out. And to top it all off, he was just sitting there smiling!" Scarlet said. "He's sort of insane—"
"He's not insane, he's just Severus," said Lily, but she was picturing the scene and felt a little chill. Why did Severus always have to draw attention to himself in such odd ways?
"Oh, I'm not angry. I'm used to it," Regulus was saying cheerfully from the floor, despite the fact that his face was bleeding, "think about it. My cousin Bellatrix, my brother, they're always testing things out on me. I have to say though, Snape, your curse needs a bit of work. It wasn't very funny. As a matter of fact, it hurt quite a lot!"
Severus gritted his teeth. "It's not supposed to be funny." He'd been working on a spell that made the recipient's face break out in scratches, the Sectumsempra. As he'd thought, the curse still needed work, but it had been pretty impressive to see Regulus' face shred into a bloody mess. Severus needed to work on his delivery, though. He wanted a lot of scratches and a lot of blood.
Lucius bent over Regulus, and muttered a healing curse. "That Magical Maladies class actually comes in handy for things like this."
"Thanks Lucius. Bellatrix never fixes me up after she curses me, so this is lots more fun. Do you two get together here all the time? I want to join. I wish I was better at dueling. I love to read about dark magic and spells—you two are so good at it. My brother tried all summer to study up on new spells, he said he needed it to fight you, Severus, but I told him you were always reading spells on dark magic and that he'd never stand a chance with his stupid pranking spells and he got mad at me—but I was telling the truth, everyone says so, even if they also say you're weird and call you Snivellus—"
"Reg," warned Lucius, looking over at Severus. "That isn't polite."
"I don't care what they say," Severus replied, "but are you telling the truth about Sirius? He actually tried to study so he could fight me?"
Regulus nodded, and began talking very fast. "Of course, he promised me not to tell but then he went and ruined my favorite dragon action figure and he cursed my pet Kreacher and so I don't really care about telling you. You can ask me anything you want about Sirius and I'll tell you. Kreacher and I don't like him. Our mother doesn't like him much either. In fact, she thinks he's a show off and a big disappointment. She's still mad he didn't make Slytherin—she says she shouldn't have been surprised though since he wasn't good enough. She says he deserves to be in Gryffindor with the Mudbloods and the attention seekers, she says he fits right in. He and my mother fight all the time. He's usually up in his room upset about it."
Severus smiled unpleasantly. Overconfident, charming Sirius Black seemed to have more problems than Severus ever would have dreamed. This was completely satisfying news. "Does he cry about it in his room?" Severus asked nastily.
"Sometimes," Regulus laughed. "He told Mother to stop hassling him about his grades last year and he cried about that. He also gets really mad when I hide his Gryffindor pride stuff. Bellatrix fixed it all this summer so it was Slytherin colors and he got really mad at her. Then she taught me how, so when I'm able to use a wand at home, I'm going to make EVERYTHING in his room Slytherin colors. Really, it's easy to make him mad even though he acts like it's not, I can help you! Let me hang out with you and I'll tell you anything I find out about Sirius. Please? Please!"
Lucius and Severus exchanged a glance. "And you'll let me test out my spells on you?" asked Severus. Regulus was annoying but it was almost preferable if they were going to hang out with Lucius. Severus had a guarantee that he'd still be Lucius' top friend.
"Yes," Regulus nodded, "as long as you teach me some of the stuff you know. Please? Please, Lucius?"
Lucius nodded. "I think it would be fine," he said.
Severus nodded too and Regulus beamed. "YES!" he shouted, "Sirius is gonna go crazy when he finds out!"
Lily entered Slughorn's classroom, wearing a shiny purple dress. Muruvi had helped her put her hair back in a French twist. She'd never seen the Potions dungeon look so bright and festive. Slughorn had enchanted little fires along the wall so that instead of the regular chilly atmosphere, it was quite comfy.
"Ah! Evans!" boomed Slughorn, and he strode forward gripping a goblet of red wine. "How lovely to see you! It is so charming to see all of my students out of their humdrum robes." He gave her a little hug and she couldn't help but think of Severus' comment that he was in love with her. She knew that was ridiculous but it didn't stop her from blushing when Slughorn gave her a peck on the cheek. "Come meet the others, now—come get some victuals!"
Lily followed behind the professor, who she noticed was walking rather wobbly. In what was usual the front of the classroom, Slughorn had placed a large wooden table filled with all kinds of sweet things—cakes, cookies, tarts and puddings. There was a chilled cauldron of pumpkin juice and a few bottles of wine. Lily smiled at the gathering of students that were all hanging about the food. Severus was nowhere to be seen.
"Everyone, this is Lily Evans. Lily is one of the most skilled Potions students I've taught in ages. I've also heard she's quite gifted in Charms," winked Slughorn. "Lily, this is—ah, well, you can all introduce yourselves!" He gave a booming laugh.
There was Andromeda Black, Rainworth Zabini and his sister Claudette, Damocles Belby, Amos Diggory, Yuko Kimura, and some Gryffindors Lily all ready knew, Sheila O'Flaurety, Sonja Bell, Trav Johnson, and William Jordan. All were in the Slug Club for various reasons, whether they were skilled Quidditch players like Kimura and Diggory, keen minds like Black, or all ready inventing elixirs like Belby apparently was working on. Lily checked her watch before helping herself to a piece of chocolate cream pie. Severus was all ready fifteen minutes late.
"Andy," she heard Slughorn say to Black, "where on earth is Lucius? I haven't seen that boy in ages! I need to catch up with him!"
"He was complaining of a head cold earlier," Andromeda said a bit bitterly, in Lily's opinion. "We were supposed to be studying all day for—"
But Slughorn cut her off merrily, "That Lucius, he's always the life of the party. It's quite a shame if he's ill. Now, Kimura, I've been meaning to chat with you. Great game last weekend, though I do of course wish my house had won. You're fairly slight for a beater, but you're no pixie! No sir!" The professor had moved on to the next group of students, leaving Andromeda looking a bit annoyed.
"You're Sirius Black's cousin, aren't you?" asked Lily, trying to be friendly. "He's in my year."
The older girl brightened considerably. "Yes, I am. Sirius and I are rather close. You have to stick together in our family. I'm sure he's told you."
"Not really," Lily replied, "he doesn't seem to like getting into any details, except I know he doesn't like his brother."
"Regulus," chuckled Andromeda. "He's spoiled rotten. He wasn't so bad when he was younger but now he's intolerable to be around. Not to mention he's been hanging around Lucius." Andromeda lowered her voice. "I don't like Lucius, but you won't hear me saying that around Slughorn—it would break his heart if he knew how cruel Lucius really was, he interprets Lucius' snide attitude as having a good sense of humor. I like Slughorn, but sometimes he can be a bit too concerned with image-"
"I don't really like Lucius, either," said Lily. "He called me a Mudblood when I was a first year—"
Andromeda shook her head. "That's awful, though it doesn't surprise me. Don't listen to him. His family is like mine—years of pushing hatred and old fashioned thinking onto the next generations. I've tried to understand Lucius. My sisters have both fancied him and so I've even tried to like him, but I can't get farther than his vanity. Most of my friends are Muggle-born and personally I've never seen a difference."
"My friend Severus, you should know him, he practices dueling with Lucius. I wish he wouldn't," Lily said honestly. "Severus says they're not really all that close but he went to Lucius' for the summer so I'm not sure—"
"You're Lily Evans?" Andromeda said and snapped her fingers. "Yes, I've heard your name before—you grew up near Severus, right? Severus is… Well, he's different from Lucius, but he told you they're not really close? In my opinion they're a bit attached at the hip. I don't think Severus gets on with many people, though I have no issue with him—I'm not around him enough. He and Lucius are into all of that dark stuff together, I'm sure that's why Regulus has been trying to persuade them to admit him in their little group…"
"Dark stuff?" asked Lily, recalling the conversation she'd had with the girls the other night. "I suppose Severus likes curses an awful lot—"
"Yes, it's part of that bad boy Slytherin image that he and Lucius try to keep up. Personally I think Severus will grow out of it once he realizes what a bigot Lucius is, especially if you're his friend," Andromeda said. "He seems sensible at least—where is he, anyway? I thought he got an invitation, too?"
"I have no idea. He's really late at this point, maybe he's not—" Lily trailed off, her eyes moving to the door where a boy had just entered—"coming."
Andromeda turned around, "Oh, here he is!"
"Severus!" boomed Slughorn, heading to the door and wrapping the boy in a hug.
"Severus?" Lily questioned aloud. It was Severus all right, but he was wearing different robes and his hair was pushed back out of his face and tied in a pony tail. It seemed odd to actually see his entire face, as it was usually half-covered by his hair. The only thing that was Severus-like about him was the irritated face he made when Slughorn touched him. Lily had to smile.
As he approached Lily while giving her the same nod he had on the train, she felt that weird somersault feeling again. His idea of looking "formal" wasn't particularly handsome at all; in fact he looked uncomfortable more than anything. His dark eyes were darting around the room, and with his hair back, the places where his pale face was raw with acne showed even more. But there was still, as usual, something interesting about his features, something familiar.
"All right?" he asked in that new deep voice, and then gave a nod to Andromeda.
"Hello Severus," said Andromeda. "I was just getting to know Lily. She's very sweet." She went back to the beverage table to talk to Claudette.
Severus looked embarrassed and nodded again, his ears red.
"Hey, Sev. What kept you so long? All the good desserts are nearly gone," Lily joked. "You look…different."
"Lucius helped me get ready. These are his old robes. He wasn't feeling well so I told him he should probably rest," Severus said, his eyes surveying Lily's dress. "That's new," he observed.
"Yes, it is," replied Lily and lowered her voice. "Andromeda says you and Lucius are attached at the hip, I thought you said you hardly see him—"
"Andromeda doesn't know a thing," Severus whispered back callously, "she's kind of a bitch."
"Severus!" Lily declared, a little perturbed. "Why would you say that? She seems nice!"
"She's nosy. She's always jumping down Lucius' throat and for no reason either. Don't listen to her—"
"She had nice things to say about you," Lily said, frowning.
"I don't have to like her if I don't want to," Severus replied.
"Severus!" Slughorn said, breaking the tension and putting his arm around Snape's shoulder. "Oho, I thought you'd forgotten! Come, meet the group—GROUP! This is Severus Snape… He's Lily's good friend and a wonderful potioneer as well! Say hello, Severus!"
Severus looked like he was about to kill Slughorn, who laughed and refilled his own goblet. He did not seem particularly interested in introducing Severus to the others, nor did the other students seem interested in meeting Severus. Several of them whispered to each other, and Lily felt a bit embarrassed for her friend though vaguely annoyed at Severus' attitude.
"Well, there are a lot of good things to eat," said Lily, trying to be friendly.
"I'm not really hungry." There was a long pause. "So, how are you?" he asked.
"I was fine," she said, irritated at how odd he was being. For him to show up late, have nothing to say and not even be hungry? It was aggravating.
"Well, what's that supposed to mean? I came here to see you and you sound like you're mad at me," Severus said back, scowling, his eyebrows even more prominently furrowed with his bangs out of his face.
"I'm not mad at you, Sev, I just wish you'd tell the truth. If you're friends with Lucius, then I'll try to deal with it. But I still think what he said to me was rude and Andromeda agreed—"
"You told Andromeda? Lily, why are you telling her everything?" Severus was looking a bit panicked. "Why can't you just keep your mouth shut? I told you, Lucius and I, it's not—"
"Don't you dare tell me to keep my mouth shut, Severus!" Lily said, hurt. "I can talk about what I want—"
"I know. I didn't really mean it." Severus had his head down. It was obvious to Lily that he was wishing he could hide behind his hair. Slughorn laughed loudly at something Belby was saying and Severus looked at Lily with his eyebrows raised. "How pissed is he?" he asked, looking bothered.
"Sev-er-us," Lily said, lowering her voice. "He's not pissed, he's just had some wine—"
"All right, he's not," said Severus derisively.
"What is your problem?" Lily asked.
Slughorn popped up in front of them with a camera. "Hello, you two—look alive!" He clicked the camera and the flash blinded them. "Oh my," Slughorn said, since the photo that had been taken was, no doubt, of Severus glaring and Lily blinking her eyes. "That won't do at all. Act like you know each other, act like you're thrilled to be here—" When they did not move, Slughorn shoved them together and placed Severus' hand on Lily's waist. "Yes, there! Now you look acquainted, we're all friends here, right?" Lily's eyes widened and the camera flashed. "Well, they say a picture is worth a thousand words," said Slughorn, "but I'm not quite sure what those words were. Better luck next round, I hope!" He took an unflattering candid photo of Yuko Kimura eating a chocolate frog.
Severus instantly took his hand off Lily's waist.
"Sorry," he said.
"It's okay," she said.
"Maybe I will get something to eat," he said, and walked off toward the food.
Lily sighed, her face hot. Why does everything with Severus have to be so hard? He tries to be so mysterious. I'd be angry if he really was Lucius' best friend but he should at least tell me! He says it all the time—we're supposed to talk about everything! Except lately, we don't talk about anything anymore. It's like nothing's the same.
When Severus returned, he was carrying a plate with one small pumpkin pasty on it and glowering. "Belby's over there asking everyone from Gryffindor if you're single. I told him to get stuffed."
"You didn't have to do that—"
"Why, do you like him?"
"No, I don't even know him. But you don't have to bother with that. Besides, if he fancied me enough, he'd ask me to my face, I guess," Lily shrugged, and sent a glance over to the other side of the room where Belby had his arms crossed and was frowning. Lily was slightly flattered but a little taken aback. Belby was a fifth year Ravenclaw, striking in a friendly way. Lily had never spoken to him but she'd heard he was very smart.
"I know you wouldn't like him," Severus went on a bit frantically, picking up his pumpkin pasty and then setting it back down. "He was acting all cocky about it, too. I've met him before. You wouldn't want to talk to him."
"Well, thank you, Severus. What would I ever do without you telling me what to do?" asked Lily teasingly.
"I don't know," replied Severus seriously.
"You know, next time someone asks a question like that you should let me deal with it," Lily said. She didn't have any interest in Belby in particular but he was older, and she definitely had an interest in getting asked out, even just so she could tell her friends about it. Mary had all ready French-kissed and Lily hadn't even been told she was fancied yet. The only thing she'd been told was that her breasts were too big and that was mortifying. All that gave her points was seeing Severus half-naked and she couldn't very well bring that up again because someone was bound to work it out and realize it was Severus she'd seen—and then the entire school might find out.
"Well, fine," barked Severus, "see if I ever help you again!" He picked up the pumpkin pasty like he was going to eat it. Instead, he mashed it into his plate.
Lily stared. "Severus—what's—?"
"I was just trying to help!" Severus said, more loudly than before. His new deep voice did wonders for making him sound stern. It would be a bit frightening were it not such a stupid reason for him to be mad.
"Oh dear!" exclaimed Slughorn, popping up between them. "Is there something wrong? I just knew I should have ordered more éclairs—I knew they'd be everyone's favorite!"
"ARGH!" shouted Severus and stomped out of the room. The other students stopped talking momentarily to gawk at the absurd sight, and then they all broke up laughing. Conversation resumed.
Slughorn looked amusingly horrified. "He's a bit moody, isn't he," he said sadly. He took out what appeared to be a small, leather-bound notebook and wrote something in it.
Lily did not want to admit it, but at that moment she could kind of see why James and Sirius had nicknamed him "Snivellus."
"Your friend sure didn't want me to meet you," said Belby smoothly from behind Lily. She turned around to face him, wondering how she should act. "Is that why he left?"
"Severus doesn't really like parties," Lily explained to the older boy, feeling like she should somehow act cooler than she knew how to do.
"Sounds like a lot of fun," Belby said sarcastically. "Want a drink? I could get you some wine. Slughorn wouldn't mind. He never does."
Lily blushed. "I'm not—I don't think so… I'm thirteen," she explained, and instantly felt very young.
Belby's easy grin clouded over. "Oh," he said, giving the front of her dress a look-over. "I thought—you look a lot older, I thought you were at least a fourth year."
Lily blushed a bit deeper. "Well, I'm almost fourteen," she added, but Belby had all ready gone away.
"Oh no," Sirius Black said, slowing down in the hallway to stare, "You've got to be joking, Reg."
"I'm not joking," said Regulus, grinning from his spot walking between Lucius and Severus. "You only wish I was."
"What's going on, Sirius?" asked James quickly, looking at the Slytherin boys disapprovingly.
"It seems my brother's got himself some friends," Sirius declared. "Nice job, Regulus. I thought you couldn't be anymore stupid than usual but here you have it."
Lucius narrowed his eyes into slits. "Want detention for loitering in the hallway, Black? How about a double detention for loitering and calling the Head Boy stupid?"
"I wasn't even calling you stupid. For you, I could do a lot worse than that," Sirius spat. Lucius bristled.
"Sirius," whispered James, nudging him. "He's not worth it."
"You're twelve years old, Reg! You're a little kid—why are you getting mixed up with those two?" Sirius went on, getting red in the face.
"I'm not a little kid! I can do anything I want, Sirius. Besides, there's nothing wrong with them! You're just upset that I've got way cooler mates than you'll ever have," Regulus said triumphantly.
At this, James lost it. He broke into snorts and giggles. "Sorry—er—but, you're talking about Snivellus here—"
"He's like the anti-cool, Reg," added Sirius, "in case you haven't heard. Or maybe you're running low on cool people in Slytherin—"
"I think they are," Peter put in.
Regulus seemed unsure of what to say.
Severus flashed them a glare and took out his wand. "I don't care what you think."
"Really?" Sirius asked, taking his wand out, too. "Seems like you do—"
"Expelliarmus!" Severus bellowed, but he was seconds too late. Sirius used a tickling spell on him and he broke up laughing hysterically.
"Probiscus vino spurtis!" shouted Regulus, aiming his spell at his brother. Sirius doubled over, his face dripping with blood.
Lucius laughed. "Well done," he said.
"What the hell, Regulus?" Sirius boomed. Regulus looked momentarily sorry, but Lucius shook his head and patted the boy's shoulder.
Severus went to curse Sirius with the spider spell, but James was too quick.
"Langlok!" he said, and Severus could not speak. His eyes were dangerous. How dare he,thought Severus insanely, how dare he use my own spell on me! Serves me right for showing people, no one even knows it's mine! He mentally cursed himself for being so slow today—what was his problem? Was the Lily and Belby situation weighing so heavily on his mind that he couldn't duel properly? He'd been incensed all of yesterday evening, and even most of today. That wouldn't do at all. Luckily, since Lucius had practiced dueling with him, he knew the counter-curse.
"Serpensortia!" Severus shouted at once. A long, blood-red cobra sprang from his wand and landed on the floor between James and Sirius, whose eyes widened. From behind them, Peter shouted out.
Regulus and Lucius laughed and laughed.
"Let's see how you do with this," Severus said threateningly, smiling in a sinister way.
"Severus!" shouted another voice. Lily's voice. "Severus, what are you thinking?"
Severus blanched. Lily was behind the group of Gryffindor boys, her arms filled with books from the library. How long she'd been there—he did not know. Her face was twisted into concern and terror. Severus wondered if perhaps she thought the spell was impressive. After all, they'd just learned it that week.
"Yes, Evans, tell him to get rid of it, he'll listen to you! Come on, Snape!" said James, his voice high with fright. The snake was rising up slowly, its head bobbing from side to side, looking between James and Sirius and hissing. In the mix of everything going on, Severus found it momentarily very amusing that he was only "Snivellus" was James did not need something.
"No, he won't," Lucius said calmly. "Severus doesn't take orders from Mudbloods."
Severus felt a very bad feeling down deep in his stomach. He'd convinced Lucius to stay back from the Slug Club last night as soon as it had dawned on him that Lily would be there, too. He knew it would only be a matter of time before there was another social, but he'd decided he could work everything out by then—or in the very least convince Lily not to go. But now, despite all of his efforts, here it was, the situation he'd been most dreading and had been up until this point miraculously avoiding. Lily and Lucius were together with Severus at the same time. And Lucius had gone and called her a Mudblood. This weekend was the worst ever.
The snake hissed and made to strike, but Sirius and James kept walking backward.
"Ignore him, Evans," said James, "ignore him and make Snape to get rid of this snake!"
"Is it going to hurt them?" Regulus asked Severus quietly.
Severus was looking from Lucius to Lily, trying to weigh out his options. He didn't want the snake to strike Potter and Black—he might get expelled if it did, but he wanted to frighten them. He was not sure how to act, so he stood there, stony-faced.
Lily's facial expression quickly changed from terror to irritation. "You can't talk to me like that, Malfoy. I know what it means now—and I know that it doesn't matter if I'm Muggle-born!"
"Evans," said Sirius through his teeth, blood still caked around his face from the nosebleed curse. "A little help here—"
"You don't know anything," said Lucius coldly, staring down Lily from across the hallway.
"Severus, tell him," Lily insisted.
"Tell me what?" Lucius snapped. "There's nothing to tell me, Evans—"
The snake hissed, and struck the air.
"Severus!" Lily exclaimed, apparently snapping back to reality. "Do something about it—I know you can!"
Without really thinking, Severus said the counter-curse, and the snake popped into thin air as quickly as it had come.
The two sides stood around glaring at each other.
Lucius turned to Severus and gave him a very nasty frown. "Well, this was certainly enlightening," he said. "Come along, Regulus." He took off down the hallway, and paused to throw a look at Sirius and James. "Oh, and expect detention for dueling in the halls."
Sirius and James erupted into loud protests, and Severus, ignoring Lily, who was calling his name, ran off after the two Slytherin boys.
"Lucius!" he pleaded, "Lucius, it's not how it looked!"
Lucius whipped around. "How was it then, Severus? I saw your face back there. You choked."
"I didn't!" Severus protested loudly, his voice echoing off the drafty castle walls.
Regulus stared back and forth between them, wide-eyed. "What's the matter? What happened? I thought the snake was quite good—"
"Severus, you've been dishonest with me," Lucius said succinctly and Severus realized that he actually seemed hurt, of all things. "You lied to me—I saw your face, you are her friend!"
"No—" Severus said.
"Who's friend?" Regulus wanted to know, and Lucius shoved him out of the way, advancing on Severus. Regulus whimpered and took off down the hall, heading back to the common room.
"Tell me the truth," Lucius said, his voice a yowl. "Why did you listen to her when she asked you to do away with it? Why did you look at her that way?"
"Why do you care?" Severus asked boldly.
Lucius' eyes flashed; he looked entirely intimidating and Severus stepped back. "Don'taddress me that way, Severus Snape. I'm making you… I'm making you, and I could break you just as easily."
"I didn't mean anything by it," Severus said at once, shaking his head, his hair shaking in front of him. "I'm not her friend—she just thinks I am, and besides, I wasn't gonna let that snake really bite those two idiots, they would have told on me—"
"Severus, you'd better not be keeping something else from me. I'll tell everyone in Slytherin about your father, and I'll tell them all about this, too—"
"Lucius, you don't know what's going on, you don't know what happened!" Severus said, and his mind was racing. What could he possibly tell Lucius to make this all blow over? What excuse would Lucius accept?
"Then tell me, Severus," Lucius snarled. "Give me one reason why I shouldn't tell everyone what a liar you are, that you listen to Mudbloods and you lie about your father—this entire school thinks you're a joke anyway. You heard Potter back there. Snivellus, they all call you, " he said spitefully and Severus turned an unattractive shade of pink. "You know, I didn't have to invite you to my manor. I don't have to hang around you at all! Everyone asks me why I do! I like you Severus, I think you're smart, but there's something else to you. You're too secretive… You're lying to me! I don't like liars!"
"Lucius," Severus said desperately, and looked around them. The walkway was deserted. "Look, I can't have you telling anyone this—I'm only telling you because… well, because you have to know why… You just have to understand."
"Go on," said Lucius coolly. "I'm waiting."
Severus' heart was pounding. He didn't know why he was feeling so crazy; there was too much going on. He wasn't thinking clearly. "Lily isn't my friend," he said, and Lucius snorted.
"So what is she, then? You know, now that I think about it, I've never seen her following you around like you told me—it's always the opposite."
Severus' heart pounded faster. He tried to think about his words, but they just poured out. "I know—but it's not like how you think. I just sort of… I sort of think she's good-looking. I don't fancy her, believe me, but I think she's—I think she's pretty, and I don't like that I do, and I'm never going to do anything about it, it's embarrassing, I don't know where it came from or why—"
Lucius narrowed his eyes again, thought for a moment, and then leaned back on the wall. "You find that little Mudblood attractive?" he voiced aloud.
"I guess so," Severus said quietly, "I act all funny when I'm around her, and sometimes… Well, it's like Bellatrix, sometimes I think about her in other ways—I know she's a Mudblood, I just can't stop—" He was impressed with himself. He'd been able to put some of his feelings into actual words, and it surprised him. He wasn't proud about calling Lily a Mudblood, but it was necessary. The other words though—those were pure truth. He was jealous of how popular Lily was, he hated that Mulciber and Belby had noticed her. He didn't want to share Lily. He didn't know if he wanted to go out with her, he just didn't want anyone else to. He didn't care at all that she was a Muggle-born, but that part—that part Lucius did nothave to know.
"Ahhh," Lucius said slowly. "Well, I suppose it can happen. I've found a few Mudbloods to be good-looking. Of course, I never acted on it—that would be disgusting. Some Purebloods get up to that for sport, though. Not for marriage, but only for pleasure," Lucius smirked. "I've never had the stomach for it."
'Mudbloods are for looking, not for booking,' Severus remembered Mulciber saying. "Don't tell anyone," Severus said urgently, and this was something he cared about far more than people thinking his father wasn't alive.
"Yes, well, you'll get over it, I'm sure," Lucius said, as though Lily were a disease. "Thank you for telling me, Severus. Come, let's walk together. Dinner should be about finished, wouldn't you say?" asked Lucius as though nothing note-worthy had passed between them.
Severus nodded, wondering whether he should have said anything. The way he was feeling about Lily (insane, light-headed, willing to lie), she certainly seemed like a disease.
"Of course you're going to tell on Lucius," Lily said huffily as the Gryffindors headed back to their common room.
"You're kidding, right?" Sirius asked. "And be on the end of his wrath forever? Evans, you're smart. Think about it. Malfoy knows it—no one's going to tell on him. That's why he acts so awful."
"Here, Evans, you look funny holding all those books," James said, and pulled half the stack out of her hands.
"I can do it myself!" she said.
"Relax," James replied, grinning at her attitude. "I'm just trying to be nice. It's all I can do being you saved me from dying of a snake bite. You should really give your pal my thanks for that one."
"I don't know what Severus meant by it," Lily said with a puzzled expression, following the boys through the portrait hole. "Malfoy's a bad influence—"
"Severus is a bad influence all by himself. My brother's too stupid to learn curses like that one he used back there on me on his own," Sirius said, wiping his face on his sleeve. "I can't believe he's hanging around those two—"
"Severus acts differently when he's around me," Lily said, setting her books down on the table in front of the fire. "He's definitely a better friend for your brother than Lucius."
"Don't be so sure, Evans. Snivelly pretends to be nice around you so you'll keep sticking up for him," James said. "He knows that if we don't listen to you, you'll get those scary eyes."
"I don't have scary eyes!" Lily snapped.
"There she goes again," James said to Sirius.
"We have to find a way to get Snivellus back," said Peter shrilly, flopping into an armchair. "I'm sure we could come up with something. We could do it while Malfoy's not around. He's never as brave-"
Remus, who had been reading on the couch by the fire, put down his book. "What's all this about? If you lot start fighting the Slytherins, you'll be sure to get in trouble."
"Lupin, you're so boring!" Sirius said, sitting next to Remus and ruffling his hair. "It would do you good to curse some people. It would make you less uptight."
"Leave him be," Lily said. "He's fine the way he is. I don't want you to curse Severus. You're mean enough to him as it is."
James laughed. "You're clearly blind, Evans. Did you or did you not just see Snivellus throw a snake at us?"
"Yes, but what did you do to him to make him want to curse you?" asked Lily, perching on the arm of the couch.
"Nothing!" Sirius burst out. "Nothing at all! Not this time. I was upset my brother was hanging round him. That was all."
"We've been leaving him alone a whole lot lately," added James, looking at Lily. "But see what good it's done? He's just gotten better at cursing. I don't care so much about our homework. We need to work out some plans. Right now."
Lily shook her head. "I can't even listen to this. It's silly. He got rid of the snake. Just leave him alone."
"You don't understand this, Evans. The battle may have begun last year, but now it's time for the war," Sirius said.
"For Gryffindor!" James shouted dramatically. A few sparks shot out of his wand.
Peter imitated him.
"Ugh," Lily said.
Remus picked his book back up and ignored all of them.