AN: I had to go back and add something that I forgot to the last chapter. It's a minor detail, but it comes up later in the story. At the end of Zev's letter, there are a few lines written in Orleisan, and as none of them read Orleisan, none of them know what it says. That's all. You can reread it if you want, but it's not exactly necessary.

That being said, I'll go ahead and put my normal thanks at the beginning this time. A big thank you to everyone who has been reading regularly and reviewing. Just knowing that people are enjoying this is enough motivation to keep me going. A special thanks to my regular reviewers. Enpowera, Danyal, Eva Glanda, and Jen4306, you guys are awesome! Thank you too to the people who added alerts: Taisenokami, Ereneviana, Enpowera, and YukinaAmonYoukai, as well as the favorites: WhenNightmaresWalked, RubyPele, NorthernBreeze, and Akuma Mame. I hope you all enjoy.

For the first time in his life, Anders felt like he was actually being useful. He had never felt like his magic was a burden per say, more of an inconvenience that made most sane people cower at the sight of him. Ever since he was taken from his family and placed under chantry control, he felt like his life and his magic had been one big waste. But now, now he was a contributing member of society again; now he could shoot lighting and fireballs at things and actually try to kill them; now he was surrounded by people who didn't look at him like a demon was about to burst from his chest. Granted, those people were Grey Wardens, and he was pretty sure that they were somewhat crazy, but he didn't care. It almost made him feel normal. Well, as normal as one can feel covered from head to foot in darkspawn innards. The only thing that actually bothered him was how normal he felt. Maybe he was a bit crazy, too. Either he was becoming slightly masochistic or he derived great pleasure from finally feeling useful. "Yeah," Anders thought, "let's go with the later; useful, useful is good."

Anders had spent his first day as a Warden with Oghren and Eriana, cleaning up The Vigil's basement, and by cleaning up, he meant killing lots of darkspawn. After seeing how the dwarf and elf worked so seamlessly together the day before, he thought that he might feel like an intruder, but he found it to be quite the opposite. He fell in easily with the light-hearted banter between the two and worked quite efficiently with them, healing and supporting them with timely offensive spells.

"You know, sparkle fingers, you're all right," Oghren said, slapping him on the back as they waited for Eriana to climb up the ladder leading out of the basement. "I think you'll fit in just fine, once you get used to all the blood and gore. You probably didn't get much of that back in the tower, especially if you weren't there for the whole Uldred thing." The commander had just given him a nod before turning to Varel to discuss their situation. Well, if the dwarf approved of him, he must be doing something right.

As he was walking back to the Keep, Anders overheard Eriana talking to Varel. "I brought some health potions and herbal remedies with me from Highever, but I think the guards used most of them last night after the attack. I'll have to get some supplies while we're in the city later this week, but neither Oghren nor I know anything about herbs. I guess we'll have to hire someone to mix up the potions for us."

Anders turned around, "You need an herbalist? I studied herbology in Circle. Would you like me to look over your stores and try to replenish your stock? I could head over there right now."

Eriana smiled, "That would be such a help, Anders, but you can do that tomorrow while I see to some paperwork Varel's been bugging me about. Don't worry about it tonight; it's been a long day. Get yourself some dinner then get some rest. We'll be heading into Amaranthine in two days, so rest up."

Anders smiled, happy to find another way to be useful. He hoped that if the Commander decided that he was worth keeping around, she may not send him back to the Circle. She had told him that she would protect him from the templars and keep him out of chantry hands, but he wasn't about to give her any reason to doubt him. Stay useful, make yourself essential, and she'll keep you around, that was his mantra. With that thought in mind, Anders made his way into the storeroom the next morning to evaluate their supplies. He soon discovered that Eriana had a good stock of herbs, some of them things he had never used or seen before, but she was lacking several essentials needed to make the most basic health potions. Making a quick list of the things he would need, he made his way, hoping he didn't get lost in the unfamiliar keep, to Eriana's office.

He found her pacing the floor, dictating a letter to Varel. She waved him in and motioned for him to take a seat as she finished the letter. "So we need to send a copy of this to each of the Arls in Northern Ferelden, let them know about the potential threat and how to protect themselves. Until our numbers are up, we can't see to isolated attacks, and since the main darkspawn threat seems to be here, we'll be focusing our efforts on clearing up this mess first." She sighed, squeezing the bridge of her nose as she leaned against the table.

"What about your Banns?" Varel asked without looking up.

"I suppose we can inform them of the situation while they're here for the fealty ceremony next week; until then, we need to make sure we increase the guards in the city and increase patrols on the highways."

"Do you want me to pass these letters on to the Couslands?"

Eriana nodded, "But I need to add in some personal correspondence with them, too. I need to thank them for their generosity and let them know what is going on. I'll also need to send information south to my other Wardens. They'll need to know about the talking darkspawn so they can keep an eye out for them."

"Are you going to recall them to Amaranthine?"

"No, I wish I could, but the situation in the South needs to be dealt with, too." She sighed, running a hand across the back of her neck. Anders summoned a healing spell and enjoyed the relaxed look that crossed her face as she began to feel its effects. "I'm not sure how to get in touch with them, though. Chances are they are deep in the Wilds. If I wrote a letter using our cipher do you think you could transcribe a few copies for me; I'll have to send letters to several places to make sure they get them, and I can't risk them falling into the wrong hand." Varel nodded and took the letters into the adjoining office.

"We have a cipher? That's cool." Anders said walking up to her desk.

"Yeah, we have a lot of trade secrets so it's important that we have a secure way to communicate. Only senior Wardens are taught the code." She chucked to herself. "If it wasn't for Riordan, Alistair and I wouldn't even know about it. He was horrified to find out the only two Wardens in the nation facing a Blight were so ignorant when it came to Warden secrets." She perched on the edge of her desk and looked up at him. "So Anders, what can I do for you?"

"I was going through your supply of herbs and potion making things, and I have to say, you have some strange stuff in there."

She shrugged, "Well, most of my herbs are used in poisons, not health potions. I may not be able to make anything that will heal you, but I can concoct a potion that will stop your heart in a minute and a half."

"Well that's not scary at all," Anders said with a laugh. "Well, I was wondering if it would be alright with you if I went out to the courtyard to talk with those merchants who came in yesterday. I bet some of them would have the supplies I need…What?

Eriana was looking up at him with a confused look on her face. "Are you asking my permission to go outside into the courtyard?"

Anders got a bit nervous; had he overstepped his boundaries? "I'm sorry, of course I'll take someone with me; I should have realized…"

"No, no, it's not that; Anders, of course you can go outside. This isn't the Circle; you don't have to ask permission to leave the building. I do ask that you inform me if you plan to leave the Keep though, so I can find you quickly if I need you."

"I can leave the Keep?"

"Yeah, though, I don't advise that you do it alone seeing as we have a darkspawn problem on our hands right now and you don't want to be caught alone. In fact, just let the merchants know you're getting things for me, and I'll settle the bill for them later."

Anders was surprised, "So I can just go out whenever I want?"

Eriana reached out and patted him on the arm, "Anders, Virgil's Keep is your home now; it's not a prison, not like the Circle was. Here you're a Grey Warden first, mage after that." She tucked her legs under her. "You know, it's easy for me to forget how strange this kind of freedom can be for someone who has never had it, but I do understand where you're coming from. When I first became a Warden, I felt weird wearing a weapon for months."

"Really, why is that?"

"Well, in most cities in Ferelden, it is illegal for me to carry a weapon; elves can be killed on the spot if they caught bearing arms."

"So how did you get away with it during the Blight?"

"We stayed out of most major cities, and when we did arrive in most of them, they were usually being attacked by something nasty. Needless to say, they didn't care who was swinging a sword, as long as they were killing darkspawn or zombies or demons. Actually, the only place I had any problems was in Denerim, and I got past that by pretending to be an Antivan Crow whenever the guards questioned me."

Anders laughed, "How did you pull that off?"

"Well, my mother was Antivan, so I kind of look the part, and I can mimic the accent and speak the language pretty well. Plus, I had an actual Crow with me, so that made things a lot more convincing." A sad wistful look suddenly crossed her face and for a moment she seemed lost in the past. "Sorry," she said when she realized that she had zoned out, shaking her head as if to banish whatever memory she had just lost herself in. "Like I was saying, you will probably need to adjust to your new freedom, so don't be afraid to ask for anything."

Anders looked down at the elven woman. Her situation was like his in many ways. People judged him because he was born a mage, and he imagined that people judged her the same way since she was an elf, and not just an elf, but a beautiful elven woman. While he could disguise his true nature, there was no escaping it for her; maybe that's why she worked so hard. He smiled down at her, "Thank you commander."

"Eriana, Anders, I thought I asked you to call me Eriana. Anyway, if you have a minute, I did have something I wanted to talk to you about. When we were clearing out that basement yesterday, I realized that there are only three of us."

"Wow, so to be a Warden not only do you have to be a murder, but you have to be able to count to three, too."

Eriana smiled and rolled her eyes. "Well, I'm not used to fighting with such a small group. Usually, I would hang back and attack with our mages from a distance; that way I can defend them if something gets too close. But I can't do that, I would have to send Oghren into melee combat alone, and I can't risk him getting overwhelmed."

Anders summoned a small ball of fire in his hand, "Commander, I think I can handle myself if anything gets past you."

"I know you could, but your robes don't offer a great deal of protection and you're not exactly experienced in combat just yet. It only takes one blow for things to turn very bad very quickly, trust me, I know, and we can't afford to lose you." She reached into the desk and pulled out a small scroll and handed it to him. "When I was in the Brecilian Forest, I came across a phylactery that taught me the mechanics behind an ancient form of magic. Of course, I couldn't use it, but I wrote it down, thinking it may come in handy one day. The spirit in the phylactery called itself an arcane, and from what I could gather, these spells allow you to use weapons and armor, channeling your manna and transforming it into strength."

Anders took the papers and read over them with great interest. "We could have Oghren or the guards give you a few lessons on handling a sword so you can defend yourself should things get close to you. It's probably not chantry approved magic, so if you don't want to risk it, I understand completely. I just thought all three of us should be armed since our numbers are so few; plus you have good reach, so I'd say you'd be pretty good with a sword." She glanced up at him. "So, what do you think?"

"Commander, you had me at non-chantry approved magic. I'm in."

She smiled a rare genuine smile, "Excellent, when we go into Amaranthine tomorrow, I will see about getting you some custom armor made." Then she muttered almost to herself, "I wish we had someone here to take care of armor."

"We do," Varel said, as he put some papers down on her desk for her to sign. "Herren and Master Wade arrived from Denerim last night and set up shop in the Keep. Didn't I tell you that I'd hired him to arm our guard?"

Eriana lit up. "Wade is here?" she said excitedly. "Oh, Varel, you really are the best! Come on, Anders; I'm going to introduce you to the best blacksmith in all of Ferelden."

After an hour or so of talking about armor and enchantments and designs, Anders returned to the keep with the promise of a new set of armor that was suitable for a mage by the fealty ceremony. "Why would I need my armor by then?" Anders asked as he walked alongside the elf. "Aren't they just swearing fealty to you?"

"Because you are a Grey Warden, so you have to be there. They are swearing fealty to the Wardens, and as the Warden Commander, I am the acting Arlessa, but it doesn't make me a noble. They're vowing loyalty to you as much as they are to me."

"Bollocks!" Anders said, giving her a slight nudge, "You just don't want to be there by yourself. This is one of those if I have to, you have to too things isn't it."

"You better believe it, and as your commanding officer, I say you have to, so there," she said, nudging him back. "Anyway, we'll be leaving for the city of Amaranthine in the morning and will probably be staying for a few days, so pack for a few days." She gave him another brief nudge before disappearing into her chambers.

Anders found the Commander in the dining hall the next morning, already fully dressed in her shimmering leather armor, picking at the half-empty plate of food in front of her. She gave him a weak good morning, and he realized that something was off with her. Something told him that those straps of leather and buckles wasn't the only armor that she put on that morning. "Hey, you don't look so well, is something wrong."

"It's nothing," she said, leaning back in her chair. "I just didn't sleep well last night."

Anders summoned a rejuvenation spell and watched as the warm light washed over her. She gave him a weak smile and returned to picking at her food. "No, Commander, I'm not sure it's that. I think there's something more. You should let me do a full exam once we get to the inn in Amaranthine."

"Anders, it's just the taint you're sensing; I promise, there's nothing wrong, but I think you for your concern." He started to protest, "No, I mean it, don't worry about me and don't waste your manna; I'm fine. Come on, let's go meet Oghren."

"So explain to me again why we're walking to Amaranthine when there is a perfectly good horse and wagon back at the keep," Oghren muttered as he walked out of the gates of the fortress between Anders and Eriana. Anders had wondered the same thing but thought it best not to say anything; it seemed like she was something wrong, so he didn't want to say anything to set her off.

"Because Comar is the only horse we have at present, and he's a warhorse, not a draft horse. I promised him that I wouldn't make him pull that cart again. Besides, this will give us a chance to scout the land between the Virgil and the city."

"Did you say you talked to your horse? How would he even know what you were saying?" Anders asked.

"It's an old trick the Dalish taught me; I can communicate with most animals if I can catch them in a calm state of mind. You remember back when we met and I had that wolf fighting with me?" Anders nodded. "Well, that wolf followed me all the way from Highever. It's a handy trick if you know what you're doing."

"I was wondering about that," Oghren said, glancing up at her. "You used to always summon bears or those giant spiders; you hadn't used wolves in ages. Why the change"

Eriana blushed slightly and shrugged. "Honestly? It reminded me of Ramoth; I guess I missed him more than I realized." She looked at Anders and added, "Ramoth is my mabari. He's staying with the Couslands, helping them replenish their numbers in their kennels."

Oghren laughed, "Good on him, the old stud. Looks like the dog's getting more action than you, eh sparkle fingers?"

"A lovely thought, my smelly friend, thank you so much for pointing that out," Anders muttered when Eriana put out an arm, bringing them all to a stop. Standing there in the road, arms crossed, was Nathaniel Howe. Anders heard a low grow rumble out of the dwarf's chest as he slid the ax off his back. Eriana gave him a brief pat on the back and motioned for him to stay back as she moved forward to meet the man.

"Careful there, Commander," Oghren grumbled, "I don't like the look of this one, he just might go all Zevran on you."

The effect of Oghren's words was obvious immediately. The elf immediately stopped dead in her tracks, the color draining from her face as she shot an icy stare at the dwarf. Andres realized immediately that the dwarf had struck a nerve; he must have realized it too because he dropped his head and looked nervously at his feet for a moment. "Too soon?" he asked, looking up at her. "Yeah, I figured as much, sorry kid, shouldn't have brought it up." He put a hand on her arm, "You okay."

She shook off his touch and glared down at the dwarf. "Later, Oghren," she snapped before walking off toward the nobleman, one hand resting on the dagger at her hip, the other fingering the throwing daggers strapped to her chest. "Howe, I have to say I'm surprised to see you here."

"Well, I wanted to talk to you, and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be welcome back at the keep."

Eriana kept her hands on her weapons as Oghren leaned forward on his giant ax. "So, talk."

"You set me free. You just let me go even after I said all those things to you about what I might do. I want to know why."

Eriana sighed, "Look Nathaniel, I had no reason to kill you, but you have every right to hate me. I know I hurt you, even though I didn't do it intentionally, so you were justified in wanting revenge, especially if you didn't know everything that happened last year. I have no fight with you."

"Even though I was looking for a fight with you. You surprised me with your mercy; I have to say, I didn't expect anything like that. I guess I expected you to kill me." He looked down at the elf. "I went to Amaranthine, completely unsure of what I was going to do next, and I found out that my sister was alive. She told me everything…what my father did to the Couslands…to the Arl of Denerim…I almost can't believe that was the same man I remember." He ran a hand through his hair, "Look, take me with you; make me a Grey Warden."

Eriana blinked up at him, "You want to join the Grey Wardens?"

He shrugged, "I almost can't believe I'm asking this, but yes. You showed me mercy that I never expected and that I certainly didn't deserve. To be perfectly honest, I thought I would die back there; in some ways, maybe I wanted to. There is nothing else for me here. Let me join you; let me do my part to fight the darkspawn. It's what my father should have done; it's what I'd like to do."

"And why should I trust you?"

"You probably shouldn't," Nathaniel said.

"I second that," Oghren mumbled.

"Look, at least let me try; I promise I'll prove myself to you."

Eriana stood there for a while assessing him. "So what could you contribute to the order?" Anders sighed, wondering why she was actually considering accepting this man's offer.

"Well, one more Warden would probably be helpful, considering that there are only three of you at present." Well, even Anders couldn't argue with that logic. "I also have a vast knowledge of poison and trap making, and I won the Denerim archery tournament two years in a row before I went to squire in the Free Marches. I know this arling better than you do, probably better than Varel does, and I may be helpful in gaining the support of some of my father's followers."

"You say you know poisons? So if I mixed toxin extract with ground deathroot, what would I have?"

"Well, you have to distill it first, but in the right quantities you can make pretty potent Crow poison which will slow your victim's reaction by causing their joints to cramp up."

Eriana nodded, still assessing the nobleman. "Fine, I'll tell you what, come with us to Amaranthine; if you've proven yourself and haven't tried to kill us by the time we get back, and then you're in." She reached out and grasped his forearm with a nod. Anders just shook his head; surely this was a bad idea, allowing someone who until recently expressed a deep-seated animosity for them into the order. But, she seemed to know what she was doing, and Oghren wasn't questioning it, so Anders just fell in line behind them, walking with the dwarf behind the two rogues who were talking about arrows and poisons.

Once she seemed sufficiently engaged in conversation with their newest teammate, Anders looked down at Oghren. "So, is she crazy? I mean this is crazy, right?"

Oghren just shrugged and continued walking. "She has this thing about giving people second chances, whether they've earned it or not. It's part of her nature to forgive people and give them chances for redemption; it's part of her charm, too. Don't worry about her; she's got pretty good instincts when it comes to things like this."

"And," Eriana said turning around, "some of my closest friends have tried to kill me."

Oghren grinned, "I should have mentioned that she has great hearing, too, but yeah, she's right. By the time we marched on Denerim, there were three members of our party who had at one point or another tried to kill her. All three of them had fought against her, one on one, and lost, and all three of them were willing to die to save her."

"One of them did," Eriana added sadly before turning back to Howe.

"Loghain Mac Tir," Oghren said. "If it wasn't for him, she would have died on Fort Drakon." Oghren shrugged, "It's a talent she has, I guess."

"So do you think she trusts him?"

Eriana turned again, "You can just ask me, Anders; I can hear you," she added with a slight smile. "And for the record, no, I don't completely trust him, not yet." She glanced at Nathaniel, "Not that you can exactly blame me."

"I would be worried about you if you did," Nathaniel said.

Eriana smiled, "That's why we're walking in front of you. If he tries something, he'll have a rather large ax buried in his skull."

Nathaniel glanced back at the dwarf and the mage. "Do you think he could reach my skull?" he asked with a grin, getting a laugh from Eriana.

"I'd just cut off your knees first, Howe," Oghren muttered with a grin as Eriana started to laugh.

Yeah, crazy, the Wardens were all definitely crazy.