Peeta

I gulped at the sight of Rues family, and Threshes. They were both stationed at the platform directly in front of the stage. I wasn't prepared to face them. Soon, the massive crowd that was not nearly as large as the entire population stopped cheering. I look down apologetically at Rue's family, their faces filled with grief and sorrow, her five younger siblings resembling her so closely and yet looking as though everyone of them had their own story, their own passions, but one shared loss.

The mayor begins his speech of honor, and Peeta drags my attention away from the poor family before I can start crying. I have to play it happy. Two little girls scramble up to the stage with a huge banquet of flowers.

Peeta replies as he rehearsed and I continue his thanks with my part of the script, a feeling of emptiness washing over me.

"So what's your favorite color?" he smiles, crossing his arms and leaning back against the pillows.

"Green, and yours?" I reply, taking his hand, needing the physical comfort. Once we'd returned from District 11 I had gone into shut-out mode (as Peeta calls it), and wouldn't speak to anyone. I had retreated to my room immediately, fighting off the urge to break down in tears. I missed Prim, oh god I missed Prim so much, and my mother. And...Gale. But I was in love with Peeta, and I was going to be with Peeta forever despite my current 'want' status.

"Orange," he replied. I chuckled."What?"

"Nothing, it's just odd," I shrugged. He squeezed my hand affectionately.

"I don't see how that's so odd."

"I can't think of anything but Flavius," I chuckle, thinking about his bouncy orange hair. Peeta smiled at me and I felt as though I would die if I didn't get in his head. I moved from sitting in front of him to beside him, unable to bear the distance.

"It's supposed to be more along the lines of the sunset, or the sunrise, either will suffice." He took my hand and kissed it, making my heart melt.

"I need you Peeta...," I whispered, the memories from last night all rushing back to me.

"In what way?" he answered back, his voice falling as well.

"In every way." He looked at me, his eyes thoughtful, holding a thousands memories, a thousand dreams, a thousands losses. Just like every soul in Panem. But he was different. I couldn't put my finger on it and I couldn't back it up with any important proof, but he was. Peeta Mellark was different. I tangled my fingers in his hair and we lost ourselves in a kiss. Our millionth kiss, but still it felt like the first. It felt like this boy had waltzed into my life and saved me, and he has, so many times. How will I ever thank him for the things he's done for me?

I think about today about how I had witnessed one of the most disgusting things of my life. Peacekeepers shooting a man from Rues district in the head for whistling her song. I know that tonight I'll most likely have nightmares about it. I don't know why I was kissing Peeta this way, I didn't know if it was to fill my head with something different, or if I truly wanted to make love to him. I told myself that I wouldn't use his body until I knew that it wasn't for any other reason other than love. I wouldn't ever do that to him. That was too far.

"Peeta?" I whispered, pulling away. I know we were both surprised by our lack of breath. I was starting to get light-headed. Had I really been so consumed that I didn't notice I couldn't breathe?

"Yes?" he whispered back. I sighed, oh god, I loved him so much.

"Will you make love with me?" I breathed, kissing him again and again. I felt the need to make love with him, to be a whole, to let him know exactly how much I love him.

"Okay," he says. I think for a moment, and gesture to his leg. "I should take it off shouldn't I." It was more of a statement than a question. I kissed his lips gently and he removed his artificial leg, gently propping it up against the wall at the north side of the bed.

"Can you take your shirt off?" I whispered, knowing that by now a lot of the blood in his body must be flowing south. He nodded and it came off, his toned yet slender chest just icing on top of my cake. He chuckled at me, gesturing to my mouth, which I just realized was hanging open.

"I never really knew I was this attractive," he murmured as I pressed my lips against his once more.

"Attractive doesn't do you justice, Peeta," I told him in between kisses. He moaned quietly and I straddled him, pinning him against the pillows and pressing my lips against him harder and harder, more passion. I needed more passion, and he was giving that to me. After a few minutes he pulled away, breathing erotically and rubbing my sides, my legs, my shoulders.

"It is normal to be scared your second time?" he panted, whispering as well. I looked into his eyes, glazed over with fear. I couldn't think of anything but to hug him, to just rub his back and say that it'll be okay. But I have no proof of that. Who's to say that Peeta was ready when had first lost our virginity together? I felt bad all of the sudden, I should have never rushed into it like I did, it wasn't just about me. It was Peeta too, and I didn't respect him when it came to who's ready and who's not.

"Yes, you know we don't have to do this," I suggested. He took a deep breath and shook his head, giving me an encouraging smile.

"No, I want to, I'm just a little nervous about...," he trailed off. I cupped his face in my hands, suddenly realizing where this fear had originated.

"You know there aren't cameras," I whispered, stroking his cheek delicately with my fingertips.

"Yeah, I know, I just can't shake the feeling that everything we do people will know about," he told me. I nodded.

"I know, I get that same feeling. But I promise you, anything we do together is for us, and only us," I reassured him. He breathed slowly, wincing suddenly, readjusting himself beneath me. I chuckled, it was time.

"Katniss, I'm kinda-," he started, but I interrupted him with my lips against his.

"Shhh, I know. Get under the covers, that way you can be reassured no one is watching," I instructed. "It's only you and me Peeta."

"I love it when you say my name," he murmurs, and I feel the heat rush to my cheeks. He starts to remove every peace of clothing perfectly and gets through with my entire upper torso before pulling the blankets over us. "God, your so beautiful," he murmurs, pulling himself on top of me and kissing down my chest between my breasts. My breathing hits a spike and I feel him smile.

"Peeta! Just make love to me already," I beg, and he comes back up, kissing along my neck and my jaw, teasing me until he reaches my lips. I've never wanted anyone so badly before in my life, much less wanted anyone at all.

It's only a matter of time before he's sliding my pants off, like he's done it his entire life. Or maybe he just has more confidence than I gave him credit for. More confidence than I have myself, because he undresses himself as well.

"Peeta...," I whisper. He moans as he slips inside me. "Peeta!" I gasp and he groans again, holding me tightly to him, his face buried in my neck and my arms wrapped tightly around his. I don't have time to register what's happening before he's moving, and his kissing me. I can't do anything but cry his name, the pain only just tolerable. But this was love, and it was incredible because he was incredible.

"Oh, Katniss," he panted, gently thrusting into me with heated passion. He pulled back and I looked at his eyes, seeing my entire past in his iris', all down to the moment where he first spared me food. I saw both of our pasts, combined into one life, one soul.

He tenderly wiped the tears that streamed down my cheeks with steady fingers. "Does it hurt you sweetheart?" he whispers.

"Yes, but please don't stop, I'll get used to it soon," I answer, holding his face in my hands, touching him, learning him.

"Okay, I love you Katniss," he tells me.

"I love you too."

I memorize the curve of his lips, how his eyelashes frame his crystal clear blue orbs, the pale skin I have come to love so clear.

We continue making love for what seemed like hours, and soon I become numb to the pain, like the constant movement of Peetas manhood inside of me wasn't new anymore. I was immune, and I could focus solely on Peeta and the pleasure that this caused him. He would moan and sometimes whimper, depending on his speed. It seemed like every moment we spent doing this I only knew him more, I only knew what he wanted, what he needed, and how we could both make each other happy.

I couldn't get rid of the butterflies in my stomach, the unexplainable pleasure I got from knowing that he felt good. I liked it when he went faster, because if felt better for him, so that's what I begged him to do.

"Come on Peeta," I urged, starting to moan, because it felt good for me as well. Having him inside me was amazing enough. He gasped, his hands shooting up to my shoulders, holding me so god damn tightly.

"Katniss, I'm gonna...Katniss..." I silenced him. He whimpered into the kiss and I wrapped my legs around him tighter, encouraging him on. Then he didn't pull out, he pushed in as far as he could go and threw his head back with a wild gasp.

I could feel the pleasure radiating off of his body, his arm and back muscles trembling in ecstasy. He squeezed his eyes shut and tears sprang loose, the blood from his lips appearing as well. The low cry in the back of his throat was the only sound he could afford to make on this train. Any other sound would have woken everybody up. His body pressed against mine was warm, the slight perspiration of his hard work coated on him and slightly I.

I ran my thumb in circles over his lips, urging him to stop biting them. Eventually, it was over and he released his lips, which I soon captured for a passionate kiss. I tasted Peetas blood on them. He soon fell still in my arms, his head resting on my shoulder and his breathing evening out.

I nudged him gently and he pulled out, rolling off to the side and pulling me into his arms.

"You never cease to amaze me, Katniss," he murmurs before we fall into a blissful sleep.