Nathaniel couldn't help but be confused by his Commander's less than typical behavior. True, Eriana had always smiled and occasionally laughed at the jokes Oghren and Anders were constantly cracking and had always allowed herself to be pulled into their playful banter, but in reality, her heart had never seemed to be completely in it. No matter how many times Oghern would tease her or Anders would make her laugh or smile, that smile always seemed to be shallow, as if it was a thin paper mask, desperately trying to cover what was really there, hidden just beneath the surface. And never once did those smiles ever reach her eyes. Nathaniel knew smiles like those, knew them quite well in fact. They were his mother's smiles, the smiles she would show to the other nobles when they could come to visit Vigil's Keep, the smiles she would show to his younger siblings after his father's nastier nature turned its ugly head, the smiles that tried so desperately to hide just how miserable she really was. Nathaniel had come to recognize those smiles easily, and though they were usually enough to fool his younger siblings, he was never fooled. His mother had always been good at hiding her pain from most people, but she was never able to hide it from Nathaniel's keen and discerning eyes. And like his mother, Eriana was never able to hide the fact that she was hurting.

He was somewhat familiar with the source of Eriana's pain; after all, he had been with her when the older mage had questioned her about Zevran's absence. He had never gotten the whole story, though, of how and why her assassin had left, but he was fine with that. If she felt it was necessary for him to know, she would have told him. That was why the sudden change in her attitude was so confusing to him, nothing had really changed for her, yet she actually seemed happy. For the first time since he had first met her, her laughter seemed genuine and unrestrained; her smiles lit up her entire face and there was no shadow of the hurt that had been lingering for so long behind her eyes. Not only that, she seemed to tremble with energy like she was anticipating something. She reminded him of the way Thomas would act when he was young the day before the Winter Solstice celebrations, jittery with energy, full of hope and excitement. It was good to see her like this, genuinely happy, the old traces of her melancholy gone, but he was confused by what might have been the catalyst for the change in her.

Nathaniel spared a glance to the mage who was walking beside him sporting a smug, slightly knowing smirk on his face. He remembered that the assassin mentioning something the other night about having seen the two of them together, but Eriana had never really explained what that had meant. Was Anders responsible for this sudden upturn in her mood? Surely not, the overly-flirty apostate just didn't seem her type…or was he? Nathaniel glanced back at Anders again, whose attention was fully fixed on the elven woman in front of them, the annoying grin still plastered on his face.

"Okay, okay, Commander," Oghren's gruff voice barked, pulling Nathaniel from this thoughts, "now I know something strange is going on. You've been as giddy as a prepubescent dwarf who's just beheaded his first genlock. And now I hear you say you wished we had more horses. More horses?"

Eriana giggled, "Yes, this trip is taking forever. A few horses would really speed things up."

Oghren glanced up at her, "But you hate horses."

"No, I hate riding horses. The horses themselves I like just fine. Besides, if we had a few horses, we could use those wagons we have stored back at the keep; it would make trade with the city much easier."

"Humm," grunted Oghren, evidently unconvinced by her explanation. "So why are you so all-fired excited to get to Amaranthine all of a sudden? And don't say that you aren't because I know you better than that. Something is going on, and I want to know what."

Eriana smiled, "Nothing is going on; I'm just glad to be out of the Keep, that's all. The fresh air and being on the road again is nice."

"Yet you want to speed up the trip with horses. Nah, I'm not buying it; there's more to it than just that," Oghren said, shaking a finger up at her. "And even if you don't tell me, I'll figure it out. You can't pull one over on ole Oghren."

Eriana gave the dwarf a slight nudge, but turned away, saying nothing. Well, if Oghren notices a change then he definitely wasn't imagining things, Nathaniel realized. She was acting differently, and apparently there was something in Amaranthine that was responsible for that. Nathaniel smiled slightly to himself. He wasn't sure exactly what had brought about this change in her, but he hoped, for her sake, that it lasted.

The party made their way into Amaranthine with little trouble. Keenan, who was clearly eager to see his wife again, suggested that they start looking for her at the local tavern and inn, the Crown and Lion; he told them that his wife had been staying there while they looked for a home to buy. Nathaniel, who knew the city better than the rest, lead the group through the bustling market place to the inn. Eriana was happy for Keenan; after all, who knew better than she what it was like to be separated from the one you love? She had hoped that both of them would have a happy reunion today, but neither she nor Keenan was prepared for what they found at the inn.

Keenan stood in front of the door, shifting nervously as he waited for Nida to answer, and the fact that it was taking a bit longer than usual was obviously making the young Warden more nervous. Then a small, dark-headed woman answered the door. The moment she saw Keenan, though, the color drained from her face, but he was too distracted to notice. "Nida," he said, pulling her into a tight embrace. "You have no idea how much I've missed you."

The young woman started to stammer in response when a man appeared in the doorway behind her. "Darling," he said, "who is this?"

Keenan dropped his arms and stepped back as if he had been struck; he glared at the man who was standing in his wife's room. "Who am I?" he said, looking from his wife to the man behind her. "I'm your darling's husband."

The man paled slightly, "The Warden?" Keenan nodded, crossing his arms to regard the man. Eriana noticed the man's eyes flicker to the massive two-handed sword strapped to Keenan's back before he turned his gaze first to Oghren, who was casually leaning on his massive ax, then to Nathaniel and Anders, who were both standing behind Keenan, arms crossed, and finally to Eriana herself. "Um, well, I guess I should let you two…well, talk." He almost reached out toward Nida but thought better of it when he saw the hard expression on Keenan's face. "I'll be downstairs," he stuttered before scrambling past them and heading for the stairs.

"Nida," Keenan said, throwing his hands up, "how could you? I've been missing for less than a month, and I come home to find you already in another man's arms? Did I really mean so little to you?"

She stepped up to him, and tried to touch his arm, but Keenan jerked back, just out of her reach. "Of course not, Keenan, when I got news of what happened at the Keep I was just devastated."

"Oh, well, that's obvious," Keenan spat bitterly.

Eriana glanced back at the other Wardens and whispered, "Come on; let's give them some privacy."

"No, Commander," Keenan said, putting out a hand to stop her, "I think I'd like you to hear this." He turned back to his wife, "So tell me, Nida, how long did you wait before falling into another man's bed; two, three days, or did you manage to make it a full week? Did you even bother coming to the Keep to see if I was alive?"

"How could you be, Keenan? When we heard what happened, that everyone had been killed, we just assumed…"

"We?" Keenan shouted, "We? What is this we?" Nida's face fell, and she suddenly found the ground very interesting. "Maker's Breath, you were already screwing him, weren't you?" Nida still didn't say anything, and, in Eriana's book, her silence was as good as a confession. "You were, Andraste's ashes, you sodding whore! I can't believe this; I pick up and move here, trying my best to give you a better life, and how do you repay me? You screw the first guy you meet."

Nida's eyes flamed in anger, "Don't even pretend you did any of this for me, Keenan. You ran off and joined the Grey Wardens without even considering my feelings on the matter; then you drag me here so you can work with the famed Hero of Ferelden. You know I'm not good on my own; I got lonely, and Phil was there for me while you were off seeking fame and glory with the Grey Wardens."

Keenan growled, "I many times do I have to tell you; I didn't have a choice about in that matter, but you had a choice and you chose to betray me." He threw up his hands, "You know, I can't even look at you anymore. And to think, the only thing that kept me going for the past three weeks was the thought coming home to you. Some homecoming this has been." He pulled the ring off his finger. "Here," he said as the threw the gold band back at her, "I don't need it anymore." Then he stormed off down the stairs, leaving a stunned Nida behind him.

Eriana motioned for the other Wardens to follow him downstairs. "I need to talk to Mrs. Nida here; I'll join you in a moment," she whispered quietly to them and waited for them to leave before turning to face the young woman. "What in Thedas do you think you're doing?"

The woman's eyes narrowed as she looked down at the elven woman, "Excuse me?"

"Do you realize what you just let walk away?" Eriana said, as she pointed toward the stairs where Keenan had fled, "You just sent away a man who loved you with every fiber of his being. Do you have any idea how rare that is?"

"Oh, don't act like you know me."

"No, I don't know you, but I know Keenan. And I know that when I found him, the only thing he could think about was you. The man spent three weeks being tortured and beaten by the darkspawn who imprisoned him, and all he wanted to do was see you again. The thought of you, knowing that you were here, waiting for him, was the only thing that kept him going. You would be a fool to let that kind of devotion just walk away."

"And who are you to judge me?"

"His commanding officer, for one; another Warden who joined the order against her will for another; and some who has known real love. Real love isn't something you throw away so casually. It's too special to treat so casually."

Nida scowled down at her, "Well, forgive me if I don't take advice from you; it seems to me you're a teensy bit biased."

"Probably, and that's probably because I think Keenan is too good a man for the likes of you. But, he loves you, and even though I don't necessarily think you're worthy of his affections, it doesn't change the fact that you would make him happy." Eriana stepped up to her and looked Nida. "You don't realize what a rare thing you have, and I'm warning you, you may come to regret this."

Eriana turned to go find her Wardens, but stopped and turned back toward the young woman. "Nida, our life isn't easy, not by a long shot, but we serve a noble purpose. We sacrifice a lot to protect humanity from a great evil. We don't have much, but our lives are a lot easier when we know there's someone back home who cares; it puts a human face to those nameless masses that we're trying to protect. I'm not saying you have to do anything; I just want you to think about what you're giving up and consider if that man is worth the cost."

Eriana turned and made her way down into the tavern and found her Wardens surrounding Keenan, who was sitting in a corner stall, a half-empty tankard in front of him, his head cradled in his hands. "I knew she was unhappy, but I never thought she would sink this low. It is just so unlike her," he muttered, grabbing his drink and finishing it in a single gulp. Eriana sighed and slid into the seat beside him.

"Keenan, I am so sorry," she said, taking his hand.

He shook his head, "I should have done more; I mean, if I had stayed in Orlais, then maybe…"

"Keenan, there was no way you could have known just how unhappy she was because she wasn't honest about it. You can't change what you don't know." She took his chin and turned his face toward hers. "You are a good man, Keenan, don't ever doubt that. You did everything you could to take a bad situation and make the best of it, and you deserve better than this. Don't blame yourself. You didn't drive her away; she made the choice to cheat."

"I just can't help but wonder…"

"Well don't," Oghren said, slapping the young man on the shoulder. "Take it from someone who's been there. You will drive yourself crazy second guessing every little decision you made concerning her, but in the end, there was nothing really you could do. Women who are willing to cheat will always find a reason to."

"Listen, Keenan, why don't you head back to the Keep for a while? You need some time," Eriana said.

"No, Commander, I couldn't," he said, half-heartedly.

"Nah, I think it would do you some good to get out of here. In fact, Oghern and Anders, why don't you guys head back with him? Nathaniel and I can stay here and take care of some things, and we'll meet the two of you back here in the morning. "

Keenan looked up at her, "You don't mind."

"Of course not. Keenan, we're here for you; you're not alone in this. Besides, Oghren's private stash is much better than anything they've got here. You hold down the fort, and when we all get back, we'll all get good and drunk."

Keenan smiled weakly and thanked her before grabbing his things and making for the door. As they walked away, Eriana grabbed Oghren's arm. "Take care of him." Oghren smiled. "I'm on it, Kid; he's in good hands," he said as he headed for the door.

Once they were alone, Eriana sighed and looked up at Nathaniel, "Do you think he'll be alright?"

"He's a strong one; I'm sure he'll be fine. And if anyone can cheer him up, it's those two," Nathaniel said. "Now, what do you say we get some lunch before we try to find those smugglers?"

The two rogues ate their lunch quickly, and, much to Nathaniel's surprise, Eriana finished her entire meal, another odd change in her behavior. For as long as he had known her, the elf had always picked at her food, and he had never once seen her eat an entire meal. Perhaps her improved mood had somehow improved her appetite as well. As soon as they finished, they made their way to the gates to speak with Constable Aidan to see if there was any new information about the smuggling ring. Aidan informed the Wardens that the new elves who had joined the Amaranthine Guard had observed an increase of activity around an abandoned house just beyond the city gates. Eriana wanted to investigate immediately, but Nathaniel disagreed. He pointed out that if it was the smuggling base, then they would likely need Oghern and Anders with them to investigate properly as neither of them was what he'd call a heavy-hitter. Grudgingly, Eriana agreed and decided to wait, so the two of them spent the rest of the afternoon strolling through the marketplace, browsing the wares of the local merchants while waiting for the meeting with the Dark Wolf.

"So, Commander, do you think we'll really be able to trust this Dark Wolf? I mean, going with an outsider doesn't really seem your normal style; you're more of a take charge yourself kind of girl," Nathaniel pointed out as they made their way to meeting point. "You haven't even told Anders and Oghren that the nobles are out to kill you."

Eriana sighed, but didn't meet his eye, "I don't know, Nate; I just have a feeling about this one. Besides, it never hurts to just talk to him, you know, see what he has to offer."

Nathaniel glanced down at her; there was something going on here that she wasn't telling him, but he didn't really have time to figure it out. As soon as they arrived at the meeting sight, a tall man in full armor stepped out of the shadows in front of them. Nathaniel felt Eriana freeze beside him and saw her face suddenly tense up; the smile that had been there all day was suddenly gone, replaced by a look of disappointment and what might have been panic. Her reaction startled Nathaniel, so instinctively, he stepped between her and the helmed man, sweeping her behind him with a sudden move of his arm.

"Don't worry, Commander, Warden, I mean you no harm. It's an honor to meet you," the man said in a deep gravelly voice.

Eriana put a hand on Nathaniel's arm and stepped out from behind him. "Dark Wolf?" she asked, her eyes cautiously scanning the shadows. Nathaniel kept one hand on her, his free hand instinctively reaching for his hip where he wore his dagger.

The man nodded and gave a little bow. "In the flesh. I am sorry for the cloak and dagger routine, the less you know of me, though, the better. I have heard murmurings throughout the city. It seems, dear Warden, that your nobles want you dead; your presence here suggests that this doesn't come as a surprise."

"No," Eriana said, "it's not a surprise, but, I have to say, you are a bit of a surprise. Forgive me for saying this, but you don't exactly look the part of a spy and information broker."

"Don't let my appearance fool you; this is merely a rouse to allow me to move through the city undetected."

Eriana nodded, and Nathaniel noticed that her entire demeanor had changed in a matter of a few seconds. This Dark Wolf was obviously not what she had expected. He turned and gave the man a second look, "So, why would you want to help us?"

"I have hope that the Grey Wardens will prove to be more effective leaders than your father was," the Wolf said, glancing briefly at Howe. "I have to say, Commander, your choice of companions is rather surprising to me seeing as how his father's confederates are likely the main conspirators against you."

Nathaniel growled and stepped forward trying to ignore the red haze that suddenly clouded his eyes, "I am not my father, and you would do well to realize that. I have no hand in anything that would bring harm to my Commander; in fact, I am here, right now, working to make sure that very thing doesn't happen."

Eriana's hand lightly touched his arm, and Nathaniel allowed himself to be pulled back to her side. "I trust Nathaniel, ser Wolf," she said, glancing up and giving him a weak smile before turning back to the spy. "You mentioned the conspirators; do you happen to have any names?"

The Wolf shook his head, "I'm afraid not; these things take time and…resources, fifty sovereigns."

"Ah, so there it is, Commander, he is out for money."

"Nate," she whispered up at him. "That is a good deal of money, ser; how do I know I can trust you? You claim to be the Dark Wolf; are you the same one who worked in Denerim last year, the one responsible for stealing Andraste's tears and Loghain's crown."

The Wolf chuckled, "You seem very familiar with my past crimes."

"Well, I should be; after all, I'm the one who committed them." Nathaniel blinked in surprise and glanced down to where she stood beside him, her arms crossed, glaring up at the armored man defiantly.

"Ah, I should have known. Well, that would explain why you are so hesitant to trust me. I was in Denerim during the blight and heard tales of your exploits; then things got quiet. I assumed that the Wolf had been killed during the Battle of Denerim, so I decided to take the name and use it." He shrugged, "It was easier than creating a whole new identity."

"So you show up here, using my name, demanding fifty sovereigns, and you expect me to trust you."

The Wolf shrugged, "I suppose it is asking a great deal, but every day you delay, Commander, the noose grows tighter around your neck." Nathaniel's eyes narrowed as the veiled threat and moved once again to position himself between Eriana and the nameless man, but again, her gentle but firm hand stopped him. "I'll tell you what; as payment for allowing me to continue to use your name, I will do this job for half the price. Hopefully, this will be the first of many business dealings between us." He tilted his head and looked down at her. "Do we have a deal?" he asked, extending a hand toward her.

Eriana looked at his hand for a moment. "Okay, twenty-five sovereigns; you've got a deal," she said, shaking the man's hand. "Send word to the Keep when you have the names of the conspirators." And with that, Eriana spun around and headed for the inn so quickly that Nathaniel had to exert a bit of effort to keep up. For whatever reason, the elf seemed eager to put as much space between her and the Dark Wolf as possible.

He finally caught up to her as she was making her way up the stairs in the inn. "Eriana, hey wait," he said, catching her arm. "Hey, talk to me here; something obviously happened back there that I missed. What's wrong?"

The elf turned toward him, the sad, haunting look back in her eyes. "Nothing, it's just…I guess I was expecting someone…something else…I don't know. I…I just need to be alone."

Nathaniel looked down at her, not quite ready to release her arm, "Are you sure because it looks like you could use some company. Why don't I go and get us some dinner, and you can fill me in on what I'm missing."

Eriana shook her head. "No, Nathaniel, I'm not hungry…just leave me alone, alright," she said softly before pulling her arm away and disappearing into her room. Nathaniel sighed but realized that there was nothing he could do as long as she kept pushing him away. All he could do was be there for her if and when she finally decided she needed him.

Eriana managed to hold herself together through the conversation with the phony Dark Wolf, but it was difficult, holding back the ebbing tide of emotion that was threatening to overwhelm her when she finally realized that Zevran was, in fact, not there. She tried hard to focus on the problem at hand, to conduct business as usual, ignoring the fact that it felt like an ogre had punched her square in the chest. What were the odds that she would be contacted by someone who had taken the alias that she and Zevran had used? She had never once considered the fact that the Wolf might not be Zevran. She genuinely believed that she would be seeing him that they would be together, and that the past month where she had been in so much pain would be a distant memory.

So when it turned out to be a stranger behind her name, it had felt like she was back in Highever and had lost him all over again. No, it was worse than that; in Highever, she had a vague feeling that he was planning something like that. Deep down, she had known what he was thinking, even though she had denied it. But today, today she had anticipated his return, convinced herself that he still cared for her, that he was still there looking out for her, so the fact that he wasn't was absolutely devastating to her, crushing her spirit completely.

Nathaniel, Maker bless Nathaniel, he had tried so hard to help, to understand. He wanted more than anything to help her, but Eriana just couldn't bring herself to talk about it, the pain was just too raw, the hurt too deep to even think about, much less talk about. So she had blown him off, escaping to her room and sealing herself off just before the flood of tears began.

The moment the door closed behind her, Eriana completely broke down, clutching her stomach and sliding down the door as she sobbed uncontrollably, allowing the pain to fully consume her. She wasn't sure how long she stayed there, crying huddled against the door, but suddenly her stomach, still heavy with the full lunch she had eaten earlier that day, began to churn, and she was forced to run for the chamber pot. Bile rose up in her throat, and she violently voided whatever was left in her stomach. She stayed there for several minutes, curled up on the cool floor as the waves of nausea passed. Once the wave of sickness was over, Eriana struggled to her feet, wishing she still felt sick; at least when she felt sick, she couldn't concentrate on how much she was hurting, on how empty she felt inside.

There was no way she was spending the entire night wallowing in this pain; she had to stop it, somehow. Then Eriana remembered the bottle of Orlesian whiskey she had found in the market earlier that day. She'd bought it with the intention of giving it to Oghren, but he'd never miss it she mused as she downed a long drink straight from the bottle. The bitter liquid burned down the back of her throat and settled heavy in her tender, empty stomach, but she didn't care. Quickly she threw back a second drink then a third, waiting impatiently for the effects of the liquor to set in. She wasn't usually a heavy drinker; in fact, she could count on one hand the number of times she'd actually been drunk. But tonight she just needed to be numb. She just couldn't bear the pain any longer, so she just kept drinking until the warm feeling of alcohol in her blood started to course through her, until she lost herself in the void, until the pain was a fuzzy thing of the past.

Stumbling across the room, she managed to find her way to the bed and was just able to pull the covers over herself before falling head-long into a deep and restless sleep.

Sometime later, there was no way to tell just how much later, Eriana heard the door to her room open then close gently, but she was unable to quite summon the strength or the will to open her eyes to see who it was. In the foggy recesses of her mind, she realized that she could be in danger, but her whiskey addled brain simply wasn't responding to the threat. Soft footsteps crossed the room and paused for a moment beside her bed. Then she felt the blankets lift and someone slid into the bed beside her. She rolled over and opened her eyes and found herself looking up into familiar honey colored eyes.

"Zevran?"

Wow, the response to that last chapter…I'm overwhelmed. Thank you all so much for your support. I'm going to be bumping the rating up to M on the next chapter, so if you want to keep following, I guess you'll need to adjust the settings if you want to keep following.

So, again, a special thank you to my reviewers: Jen4306, Danyal, CyderJenn, Zeeji, Eva Galanda, Warrose, Judy, and Fairy. Luv you guys, thanks for the support!