Beca made it back to her dorm room (wrapped tightly in a thick black dressing gown and towel-turban ensemble) just as her cell phone stopped ringing. She picked it up; two calls from both Chloe and Jesse. She punched out a quick text to the latter (I'm off work sick; what do you want?) then - biting her lip anxiously - redialled Chloe's number.
"Hello?"
"Hey, sorry, I um, I was in the shower when you called..." she said her voice trailing off as anxiety got the better of the deep of her stomach.
"All day?"
"What?" Beca perched on the edge of her bed and tried to unwrap the towel with one hand, the other keeping the phone pressed firmly to her ear.
"Nothing-" she heard Chloe say. "I just... I tried to call. After you left, Aubrey came back, said she'd seen you running away and then we- I mean, w-are you alright? Why did you... go?" Chloe's voice finished quiet and small and Beca felt riddled with guilt.
"Sorry. About that." Beca said, but Chloe stayed quiet. "I didn't, I mean, I shouldn't have - we probably shouldn't have -"
"Oh."
"No- that's not what I mean-"
"That's okay."
"Chloe- wait, please - It's really not what I meant -" Beca stopped, suddenly searching for words. What did she mean? She knew it was a breach of their friendship, and that it was dangerous and wrong - but god, hadn't it felt really, really right? Hadn't he been feeling like she'd been stopping herself, telling herself time and time again that this wasn't what Chloe wanted - and now she did and Beca was turning her away?
"You're probably right." Chloe's voice came weak in Beca's ear.
"W-what do you mean?"
"I was stupid to think you'd want anything like this."
Beca thumbed her temple with her free hand. "No, Chloe, I... I do. I do want this. It's just..."
"Beca, I'm out on a limb here, you're gonna have to start... I don't..." Chloe's voice trailed away once again. Take control, Beca thought, take control for once in your life.
"I'm scared." she said suddenly, finding herself on her feet. "I'm really really scared."
She had never admitted fear to anyone - about anything. "I'm scared, but it's in a good way. I've never had like, a girl friend. Not even a 'girlfriend' - just a friend who was a girl. You're different - like me - and I like that about you. I push everybody away - maybe now's the time I stop..."
"It will be alright you know." Chloe said after a moment, and Beca felt the tension in her voice ease.
"I know."
"You're like... I don't know. We're like two things that don't go together, but they do, and that's alright."
"I don't really know what you mean..." Beca said, smiling a little, despite her eyebrows knitting together in confusion.
"Okay, you're like an old sweater." Chloe said confidently.
"What?!"
"Alright, that sounds worse than I meant it to. What I really mean - I guess I'm trying to say -" Chloe took a deep breath. "Beca, I'm scared too - but I'm also so comfortable around you, I want.. I want to be with you, you're my comfy sweater that I feel like I've had in my closet for years & when I put you on I just want to hold onto all those little threads that poke out from the sleeves and the hems and the arms, and I want to wrap them around my fingers; that's what I like about you. Everyone else wants a brand new sweater; I just want you."