11: The Morning After

Blaine awoke with a start as the shrill buzz of his alarm clock filled his ears; and with the sound came pain.

Oh god, my head… What happened last night?

Blaine sat up to find he was only in his pair of tight boxers, which was odd since he usually wore pyjamas. There was a note on the pillow next to him.

Hey, my mam called and I have to leave. Didn't wanna wake you. We need to talk later.

Ryan

We need to talk; sounds serious. I wonder if Sam made contact.

He stood up and walked out of the room and downstairs to his kitchen. There were a few empty bottles on the countertop. The house was empty. His parents wouldn't be home from their business trip for another few days, as per usual.

I stink of alcohol… How much did I drink last night?

Blaine continued into the living room to find the rug placed over the couch and the pillows thrown across the floor. There were a few more bottles on their sides on the floor, thankfully empty.

What a mess! Why can't I remember this?

Then he saw his bowtie on top of a black jumper; Ryan's. He walked over and picked it up. The moment he caught a whiff of the lingering aftershave left on the jumper, the memories came flooding back to him.

The Valentine's concert… Ryan and I decided to get drunk… There was dancing… I kept flirting… I kissed him… We kept kissing… We went upstairs… what happened then? I can't remember? I'm in my underwear right now… Did we… Have sex?

Blaine… What have you done?

/

Blaine cleaned up the house before deciding to lie on his bed, allowing the realization of what happened to come over him.

Why did I do that last night? What was I thinking? I flirted from the minute I had my first drink last night, without even realising it. I put my head on his lap. I initiated the kiss. I was drunk… But I can't keep kidding myself… I like Ryan.

But what about Sam? Ryan is still hung up on him. I think Sam might be too… But I can't know for sure since he won't talk to us… But there is something else going on with the whole situation. Ryan was drunk. He probably doesn't like me. He loves Sam. He even said yesterday that he was only thinking about Sam when he sung at Breadstix.

But he kissed me back? But maybe it was because he was drunk…

It's unlikely; but maybe he does actually like me too?

I was telling him the truth last night; I am over Kurt. We wouldn't have worked out. We're better off as friends. With Kurt, and with most people, my family included, I feel… restricted? I have to keep up appearances; the hair, the clothes, the bow ties. I have be a gentleman, the perfect guy. I have to act like I'm in a Rom Com. But when I'm with Ryan, especially lately, I just feel relaxed. I can be myself. I don't have to worry that he's gonna judge me. He even saw my un-gelled hair last night and he didn't laugh… He even said I looked cute. He doesn't judge me even a little bit. I need that. I need to feel relaxed and to be able to be myself, not what someone wants me to be. Ryan swears a lot too, which I think is really cute.

And the funny thing is… Ryan is so great and making me and everyone feel better. Everyone seems to go to him for advice. He never judges us. But he always judges himself. He doesn't realise just how great he really is. He always puts himself down and can't take a compliment. I'm sure Sam was great at making him feel better… But now Ryan is alone again… I could be the new Sam. And I'd never do anything to hurt him.

But then again… Ryan isn't out. I haven't been in the closet in forever… Do I really wanna go back in? I know it's not Ryan's fault. It's his family's hatred. Sam and Ryan had a pretty good year as a couple, even though they're not out… It didn't hinder them… Maybe it really isn't a big deal?

Blaine's phone bleeped suddenly, startling him out of his little trance. He picked it up to see a text from Ryan.

Hey, can I call up now? Hope ur awake :P

Sure now's fine :-) Blaine replied, forcing a smile.

He's coming over… Should I say something? I like Ryan more than a friend. I can't deny that… I'll never know if he likes me back if I don't ask. I'm gonna ask him on a date.

/

Blaine frantically got ready for Ryan to arrive. He had a shower, put on some cologne, gelled his hair a little and made some tea. It was ready just in time for the door bell to ring. Blaine ran to the door.

"Hey" Ryan said, with a small smile.

"Hey! Come in!" Blaine said enthusiastically.

"So how are you feeling? You hungover at all?" Ryan asked as he sat down.

"I'm good now, I had a really bad headache earlier and I'm still a bit fuzzy last night…" Blaine replied.

"Well I'm not surprised; we drank a shit load last night! I'm lucky though, I don't seem to get hungover, or lose my memory… I just get tired… So you need me to fill ya in with what happened last night?" Ryan asked.

Blaine nodded.

"Cool well this works out well anyway cause I wanted to talk to you about this anyway. Well we came here and got absolutely pissed. We were dancing around and then laughing and joking, and then something happened; I fell and we got really close together and then we kissed… I think you kinda initiated it? Anyways we started making out full on and then moved up to the bedroom, ripping off each others clothes, except for boxers, y'know, the works… And then we got into to bed, made out a little bit and then just cuddled and fell asleep."

Blaine's face was hard to read, like amusement mixed with shock mixed with disappointment.

"Anyways so I was just thinking about what to do now… We're both in such weird places right now; you and Kurt, me and Sam. We were lonely on Valentine's Day and just got carried away. So I'd say we should just forget about it? That cool with you? We were both drunk last night, it was only a few kisses. It didn't mean anything, right?" Ryan said lightly.

Blaine paused for a moment before replying. "Uh-Sure. Like you said; It was only a few kisses. Didn't mean anything" He said softly.

"Cool well that's sorted. I was gonna help you with the cleaning up but you seem to have it sorted so you wanna go meet up with some of the guys at the Lima Bean?" Ryan asked.

"Sure, let's go" Blaine said, faking a smile.

/

Blaine got homes shortly after. He told the others that his hangover started coming back. He walked up to his bedroom and lay down, only to smell Ryan's aftershave on his pillow from the night before. He started getting slightly emotional.

Why did I kiss him? I've got all these feelings and I can't get rid of them. But I can't do anything with them now…

Ryan doesn't like me back.

A/N: That was fun, trying to write in such a different perspective for the whole chapter. I kinda feel like Blaine wasn't written very well but hopefully I'll get better :P His point of view was important.