A/N: Corrections are beginning to be made, including proper British terms and word usage. Again, thanks so very much for the feedback. Things start to get sexy and awful simultaneously. And I have to admit, I LOVE sexy/awful things. I also got to use a nickname for Snape that a friend and I created years ago but never got to put in a fanfic- poor Severus. I was going to speed things along- but I wanted to appease you all by putting in some romance. Please review.
Chapter Seventeen: We've Only Just Begun
Year Five: Late August until October
"You act like you're fourteen years old- everything you say is so
obnoxious, funny, true and mean. I want to be your blowjob queen.
You're probably shy and introspective. That's not part of my objective.
I just want your fresh young jimmy jamming, slamming, ramming in me."
-LIZ PHAIR, "Flower", Exile in Guyville
"It was very nice to see you, Tom," Professor Slughorn was saying, shaking Riddle's hand vigorously but not quite looking at him in the eye anymore. Riddle had just stepped down from his place in the front of the room and everyone was mingling again, speaking in excited tones. "I am afraid I forgot about my massage appointment—er—she gets irritated if I arrive even ten minutes late, so… you understand, of course…"
Severus looked past Mulciber and Rosier, watching their professor in great interest. He'd never seen Slughorn so uncomfortable, so out of his element. Since the speech, he'd been sitting on his own and twisting his mustache worriedly. Severus wondered why his mood had changed so drastically. With a smirk, Severus supposed it was perhaps because he was not being treated like a celebrity. On the other hand, most everyone had flocked around Riddle, all of them vying for one moment of his time. Riddle had a cool expression on as Slughorn shook his head. He bent in and whispered something in Slughorn's ear. Slughorn shrugged, and averted his gaze even more drastically.
"Of course, of course," he nodded rapidly, "it's just, I keep private about these matters is all. Of course, you understand, of course? Goodnight." With that, he was gone.
Riddle stared, his eyes flashing, and then turned to his left to accept praise from Bellatrix, who was clutching her heart.
"My father would love him," Rosier went on, "he's been saying for ages that Hogwarts needs to stop admitting Mudbloods. I mean, just look at Pettigrew. He's a bloody disaster, can't even do simple spells—"
"Pettigrew's a Pureblood. My mother was in school with his mother," Mulciber put in, and at Rosier's raised eyebrow he chuckled quietly. "I know. Pathetic, isn't it? Anyway, my parents feel the same as yours, Rosier. What about your mother, Snape?"
"I've never cared much for Muggles, and my mum's that way as well. Of course, I think a lot of them are stupid but some of them are actually dangerous, like Riddle was saying—"
"That's the part I don't get," said Mulciber. "Muggles have absolutely no control over us. They have no magic powers—they think they're well-equipped, what with their weapon and all but they don't understand that wizards and witches are a billion times more powerful than they are. That's what my mother says—"
"They have the upper hand because we have to hide," argued Severus. "My mum knows about it firsthand. She saw something really bad happen when she was a kid—"
Rosier and Mulciber looked invigorated. "What did she see?" Rosier pressed.
"She and her brother were looking for potions ingredients outside near their house, and some neighborhood Muggles were making fun of them. Well, her brother took out his wand, which of course made the Muggles realize they were right about what my mum and uncle were. They beat my uncle's head in and he died. My mum saw it all," Severus explained. Rosier and Mulciber were staring at him with their mouths hanging open.
"It happens more than the Daily Prophet reports it occurring, I can assure you of that," said Riddle from behind Severus. He patted Severus' shoulder. "Excuse me for eavesdropping, but I just couldn't help but hear your story." He stepped into their circle, pressing his long hands together as though in a prayer. "These are the kinds of things we are supposed to forgive and forget. I'll assume your mother has not forgotten."
"Absolutely not," Severus responded. "She's got no one left, really. We're… we're on our own now, practically. She's really careful about who knows us. When I was little, I couldn't really play with anybody because my mum didn't want anyone knowing she was a witch." He had no idea why he was sharing all of this, but Riddle was such a good listener.
"I'm sorry," said Riddle simply. "I hope you know now that you were not the problem, and that your mother was only acting on your defense." Severus nodded.
Mulciber and Rosier were silent, regarding Riddle as though he were prime minister. But Severus spoke. "You're a really good speaker," he said, looking Riddle in the eyes. "I didn't know things like what happened to my mum go on so often—"
"Oh, since the beginning, Muggles have been shoving wizards into the dark," explained Riddle calmly. "When Abraxus and I went to school at Hogwarts, it was already changing. I recall seeing a Pureblood student harassed because the Muggle-born students argued that their magic wasn't learned, it was simply talent. Which is absolutely ridiculous. Everyone knows that even the purest families can produce squibs. Magic is not hereditary—"
"Are there exceptions to all this?" Severus asked logically, enjoying the academic way that Riddle was speaking to him. "I mean, can there be some Mudbloods who aren't bad, who wizards can trust?" He was, of course, considering Lily. She was no threat—if anything, she was more understanding than many Purebloods of Severus.
"Oh, obviously," said Riddle, and his eyes glittered. Severus felt relieved. "There are always exceptions. But they sometimes are very few and far between. However, I've seen a few remarkable Mudbloods in my day. As long as they know their place, they can be wonderful assets to the cause. Most of them would die to be Pureblood. They'd crawl on their hands and knees and grovel to make up for the acts of their ancestors. Those Mudbloods know their place."
Severus nodded slowly. It made a lot of sense, but there was something bothering him. He figured it was something he needed to take up with Riddle one on one.
"Is everyone enjoying themselves?" asked Lucius pleasantly, joining their group.
Riddle put an arm over his shoulder. "Lucius, my young friend… You have invited some choice guests. I hope to get to know everyone in time, but I've been enjoying myself learning more about Regulus and Severus. You know, you all remind me of when I was in school. I've always found that Slytherins have the strongest bonds. Though I'm not going to discriminate." He smiled softly and looked back at Lucius. "Didn't you say you also had a few Ravenclaw friends?"
"Gilderoy is being a flake," Lucius said, rolling his eyes. "He's on holiday somewhere in France—"
"He's the one who is gifted in memory charms, Lucius?"
"Yes, he was the best at Hogwarts—"
Riddle nodded to himself slowly. "Yes, I would like to meet him. But no matter. And Evan, we've hardly gotten to speak, but Lucius says you're quite good at defensive spells—"
"Sure," said Rosier, looking nervous. "Most curses bounce right off me—"
Severus snorted. "Because I taught you how to block them so well. Really, you'd be nothing without me."
Rosier reddened and looked appalled.
"Oh, I like Severus!" said Riddle delightedly to Lucius, chucking delicately. "I like Severus a great deal."
Feeling just as appalled as Rosier looked, Severus felt a strange sensation seeping through him. He actually felt somewhat respected by Riddle. Usually, people hated him at first and only slightly liked him later, especially adults. This was a welcome change.
"He'll get over you, Lily. He's just completely horny and sort of insane about you," Mary chattered to Lily as they walked around Flourish and Blots for their school books. "Yuck, I can't believe you actually want to be in Advanced Potions. I'd sooner drink poison—"
"But you're good at Potions, Mary," Lily replied, "and please, don't ever talk about Potter being horny again, that's an image I don't need in my brain—"
"Don't be a prude, Lily. All boys are horny. I would take him out of his misery, but our friendship would get too complicated. He agrees. We're trying to find each other someone, it's just not working out too well which is weird because I know for a fact we're both really good-looking," said Mary, shrugging and picking up a copy of From Apoozles to Zuskees: An Alphabetical Guide to Demented Magical Beasts. Lily couldn't resist smiling at her friend's overblown ego. "And Slughorn didn't give me a high enough mark. Though I suppose I could have worked harder. I put all my effort into making my relationship with James work, and look where that got me—"
"Not all boys are horny," Lily replied, thinking of how she and Severus had barely kissed at all. Their snogging at the ball had almost been too good—what if that was it? He'd never returned to Spinner's End, no doubt still hanging out with that pompous Lucius Malfoy. He hadn't even sent post. Not that Lily had either. Still, she felt she'd been communicative enough. Every day, she thought about him, and wished he'd come back. "Honestly, I think sometimes that's all you care about—"
"Boys are my life," Mary said firmly. "There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. I will have a proper man by mid year, I promise you." Apparently she'd had a very exciting summer. Her family had gone to France and she'd ended up meeting and snogging a Hogwarts graduate named Lockhart who she said was very good-looking. They'd spent vacation frolicking on the beach and applying suntan lotion to each other's backs. "Gildy would be perfect, but he has a girlfriend. And Astrid Greengrass is cute enough, but I think because Gilderoy and I both have curls, we'd look better together," Mary explained for the thousandth time. "I wonder if she knows we fooled around." She sighed. "Things might be odd back at school, but I'm going to be sure to look really fantastic everyday in order to scare her away. Then Lockhart might pick me."
Lily stuffed a copy of Advanced Potion Making into her basket. "Sounds like a fool-proof plan."
"Or James' friend from the Quidditch team, Patil," Mary went on. "He's gorgeous. I've never seen such big, brown eyes—"
"Is there anyone you don't fancy?" asked Lily quietly.
"And he's a great player as well," Mary said.
"It's a serious question. Is there?" asked Lily.
"At least we could snog in his room," Mary went on, fingering a book on love potions.
"His room?" Lily inquired, confused. "Wouldn't you get in trouble?"
"If we were caught. Sirius told me girls can go to boys' dorms, just not the opposite," Mary replied. "Besides, no one would dare tell. I'd curse them." Mary gave Lily an evil look, which Lily figured was because she'd announced to her friend only minutes ago that she'd been made a Prefect.
"How are things with Sirius, anyway?" asked Lily, mentally damning him for telling Mary she could go to boys' dorms.
"Sirius-smearius," said Mary reproachfully. "I've forgotten about him." Lily somehow doubted it. "James tried to set me up with Remus, but Remus said he wasn't really ready for a serious relationship. I think he's scared to lose his virginity. Either that, or he's self conscious about all his scars—"
"Mary," Lily chided. "That's rude. Did you ever stop and think that perhaps he just doesn't find you attractive?"
Her friend made a face. "Don't be daft," she said, flinging back her black curls. "Of course he does. He's just shy. I think he'd be better suited for Muruvi anyway."
Lily was about to tell Mary to stop trying to set everyone up when she saw a black-haired, pale teenage boy walk toward the back of the bookstore. "Hold this, I have to pee," she said to Mary quickly, shoved her basket in her friend's hands, and ran off.
"Oy! Where should I meet you?" called Mary, but Lily didn't answer. She ducked past a cluster of chattering young children, went the long way around the Cauldron Keep-Up section to make herself more hidden from Mary's viewpoint, and peered over Dark and Defensive Spells.
"Psst, Sev," she whispered. Severus was bent over, looking at a book on the opposite wall. Fortunately, it looked like he was alone, and the entire back was deserted. "Severus—Severus Snape!" He stood up and looked back and forth, everywhere but behind him. Grinning, Lily ran around the section. "Severus!" she greeted.
He turned around instantly. His expression of confusion quickly became a small smile. "Hey you," he replied, raising his eyebrows. "Good summer?"
"Is that all you have to say?" Lily declared. "I missed you!" Unable to contain herself, Lily rushed at him and wrapped her arms around his neck. She pressed herself into him, and drank in the familiar smell of Severus—metallic ink, old books, and musk, with a faint hint of cigarette smoke. Lily ran her hands down his chest and over his back and she kissed him right on the lips.
Breathing in shallowly as though surprised, he kissed her back hard. She felt her knees wobbling and her entire body tingling up. It was perfect timing; she'd just been about to think he didn't fancy her as much as she'd thought he did. She'd thought their few times kissing was going to be it, and now she didn't have to worry. "I missed you, too," he said finally, a sort of happiness in his black eyes. He paused as though he was about to say something else, and then instead planted another kiss on her cheek. She beamed. Whereas it was easy to trivialize her feelings for him, when he was right in front of her, she could barely contain her excitement. "What have you been doing?" he asked, smirking a bit triumphantly.
Lily snickered. "Nothing much at all. I'm with Mary now- I told her I had to use the loo so I could come see you. I noticed you right away," she said, running her hand up his arm.
To her great delight, he shuddered slightly. "Mary's here?" he asked, looking around. "So, she doesn't know about us?"
Lily looked at him strangely. "Well, no, I just… I thought I was supposed to keep it a secret from her," she replied, wondering why he was asking. After all, he'd wanted to keep their kissing a secret, too. Right?
"Yeah, you're right, I just thought you told her everything." Severus' eyes shifted focus, and Lily wondered if she should ask what he'd meant. But that might make it obvious that she hadn't told Mary because she didn't want anyone to know. Lily figured she should keep her mouth shut, and feign ignorance. Luckily, Severus had changed topics. "So how is Blabbermouth MacDonald?"
"Very blabbery," Lily replied, grinning. It didn't even strike her that in the past, she would have corrected Severus' name-calling. Now, she even thought it was kind of funny. "You would have died. She was just talking about how horny Potter is, and that she could take him out of his misery and take his virginity but it would complicate things."
Severus cringed, and then looked interested. "So, Potter's a virgin? That's rich. From the way he talks himself up, you'd think he—"
"I know," Lily said, nodding, "I know… You'd be surprised what he and Black talk about, how big they think they are. But listen, I don't want to talk about Potter—how has your summer been? Are you here by yourself?"
"Yeah, there have been too many people around lately at Lucius'. It was making me kind of crazy so I lied and said I was going back home to get a change of clothes. If I had said I was going here, some fucking person would have wanted to trail along. Though I really get along with Tom—"
"Who is Tom?"
"Tom Riddle, Lucius' friend. He's really cool. He's told me all about his collections, he really appreciates the Dark Arts and he's going to host another party at his loft this coming December. Apparently he's got all sorts of memorabilia from Hogwarts—like, I'm not even doing it justice, like, Salazar Slytherin's old things—Helga Hufflepuff's jewelry, and things like that. Tom is really smart. He's got the best stories, and he's a very classy person, I mean, he has all the best stuff," Severus said, and Lily noted his excited tone. She'd never heard Severus so excited about another human being. After all, she'd always found it interesting that the only people he seemed to fully like were her and Lucius Malfoy, and even Malfoy he couldn't stand a lot of the time. Lily found herself intrigued by this Riddle person, and even a bit jealous that he'd captured Severus' attention so drastically.
"It sounds interesting," she said. "Maybe if it didn't offend Lucius too much, I could come meet Tom Riddle at that party. I want to see Helga Hufflepuff's old knickers," she said jokingly. After all, she hardly cared if the Malfoys saw her with Severus. It was her Gryffindor friends she wanted to keep it a secret from. But Severus suddenly looked serious.
"Not sure if he's got her knickers," he said solemnly. "And anyway, you and Lucius don't get along very much at all, and I know you don't like Bellatrix, so… Probably not the best idea."
Lily shrugged, but felt a spark of jealousy that Severus had been seeing Bellatrix. She hadn't thought about that, though it made sense she'd be around. She hadn't known much about Bellatrix during school, but she didn't like that Severus had fancied her. She was opposite Lily in every way: petite, dark, mean, and worst of all, experienced. "I'm just interested in what Riddle has going on—"
"Oh, he's brilliant. I think you'd appreciate him, at least. He's very strong in his views, but they make a lot of sense. What he's asked me to do is even better than I previously thought," said Severus importantly. "He's looking for Death Eaters, that's what he calls his followers. He's basically going to start a revolution against the way things are in our world. In five years from now, he's hoping to fully transform Hogwarts, not to mention make things much more orderly in the Ministry of Magic. He's brilliant, he's just brilliant," Severus repeated.
"Death Eaters?" asked Lily curiously. "Sounds sort of freaky."
"Not at all, though you would like that," grinned Severus. "No, it's just a name he got from history—it's what wizards and witches called themselves who fought hard to overthrow Muggle warriors in the Dark Ages—"
"Are you going to spend your time after graduation overthrowing Muggle warriors?" asked Lily slyly, weaving her hands back around Severus' neck.
Severus swallowed hard. "Not exactly, though if you want to think that, you can," he informed her pedantically. "More like trying to fight for changes in laws and things like that—"
"I think I need to hear more about this Death Eater thing, but if it makes you happy, then I think it'll be great."
"Yeah?" Severus asked. "Well, thanks. Wish you weren't here with MacDonald. Because I've got all the time I want. I'm tired of talking to people I don't want to talk to. It infuriates me."
"Infuriates you?" Lily said, laughing lightly. "That's a bit strong, isn't it?"
"No, it's not," Severus replied instantly. "This morning, not only was this bloke MacNair singing in the shower, I saw Rosier only wearing a bath towel. Honestly, if she didn't have that obnoxious voice, I would swear she was a boy, she's got like nothing on top—"
Lily smacked his chest playfully. "Severus, that's rude—"
"It's true, though, isn't it? Not like you," he said, and then instantly turned a strange shade of cream. "Urgh—sorry—"
"Nonsense," Lily said, smiling. Her heart was beating fast. "You like what I've got on top, then?" she asked, and was surprised at her confidence.
Severus seemed a bit surprised as well. "Well… yes, of course," he said.
"If I got out of hanging out with Mary, what would we do?" asked Lily. She managed to press up on him just a bit more firmly, and suddenly became very aware of the fact that he was hard through his trousers. She tried to ignore it, though she wanted to see what it looked like. She wondered what exactly had done that to him. It excited her.
"I bet we could think of something," he said dryly. He was very hard to read sometimes.
"Well," she said, pondering quickly. "I couldcome down with a terrible sickness. Mary was leaving me in an hour anyway to meet up with Potter and see a movie. They wanted me to join but I said no way… I'm sure if I send her an owl later, she'll understand." This was shaping up to be perfect. Her mother thought she and Mary were together, and that she'd be coming home in the evening anyway.
"A terrible sickness sounds appropriate," Severus said. "I think I also have been known to come down with a terrible sickness anytime Potter is near. Uh oh: Lily, I just spotted a glimpse of MacDonald's very big hairdo—looks like she's walking toward the loo, no doubt looking for you—"
"Bollucks," Lily cursed. "Come on—we've got to sneak upstairs!" With that, she grabbed Severus' hand and they hurried up the staircase to the second floor. "Hopefully she's not too mad," she said, as they watched through the top window as Mary walked out of Flourish and Blots, still looking back and forth. "Or that she doesn't worry about me—"
From behind her, Severus said, "Do you really care that much?" He placed his hand lightly on her hip. Lily could feel his nails grazing her skin slightly. Her insides turned pleasurably.
She turned to look at him, "Well, I—". She trailed off. He was right. Surprisingly, she didn't care much at all.
A man named Cornelius Fudge had begun to give a boring lecture on some new book he'd apparently written, so Lily and Severus decided it was high time to ditch the bookstore. Severus didn't care much about where they went—he just wanted time to perhaps snog Lily, as it was all he'd thought about lately. He'd been having a better time than usual with his Slytherin friends, but being with Lily was different—simpler. With Lily, he had a better time being himself, though in all honesty he was beginning to feel more at home with the others at Lucius' manor. They'd been spending their days debating endlessly over magical history, and discussing Muggle and wizard relations. Severus felt he'd never learned as much from Hogwarts as he had in those past few weeks. He felt like he never wanted to go back to Spinner's End— if Lucius asked him to move in, he'd do so right away.
"So, where to now?" Lily asked, and Severus' eyes traveled down her body. She looked better every time he saw her, and today was no exception. Her hair was free and wavy, cascading over her shoulders and hanging just above her breasts. She was wearing a short dress that showed off her long, smooth legs.
Severus tried to pry his eyes off her, but she didn't seem to mind. She grabbed for his hand as they left. "I don't know," he admitted. "I haven't been here much for anything else besides schoolbooks since I was a kid—"
"What about Knockturn Alley?" asked Lily, indicating a rickety sign on the opposite side of the street.
"What about it?" he asked, caressing her fingers. He definitely hadn't been there for ages, not since his mum had stopped taking him.
Lily shrugged. "You've mentioned it. I just think it could be interesting—I've been to all of the Diagon Alley shop so many times, I'm sort of tired of them. Come on, let's go!"
Before Severus could protest, she was dragging him across the street and through the dim alleyway that led into the lower shopping centre. She led the way into Borgin and Burkes, a novelty shop that Severus had only been to a few times with his mother. He recalled really wanting a shrunken head when he was younger; it seemed so long ago, nearly five years before he'd even gone to Hogwarts. Lily seemed interested enough in the wares (she generally liked creepy things, Severus mused), but he wasn't really in the mood to browse. He was beginning to feel a bit furious that he couldn't just take the plunge and kiss her. He'd become brave, and then he'd just give up afterward. A few kisses just didn't seem to be enough, especially now that they were finally alone for the first time in ages. But still, he dutifully followed Lily around as she admired various objects. She "oohed" over a withered hand in a jar, and she "aahed" at a three-headed stuffed crocodile.
"That's beautiful," she said, fingering a silver and blood-red jeweled heart locket. "But do you suppose it's really cursed?" she asked, reading the sign next to it.
"Who cares?" Severus asked, beginning to feel a bit edgy.
Lily ignored his tone, wandering over to small pedestal that was displaying a statuette of a large hand, stretched open so that its palm faced upward. "Touch my hand," Lily read from the sign, "and I will call out your blood status." She laughed. "Let's try it," she said.
"No," Severus replied quickly, scanning the room. "I don't want to."
"Come on," Lily urged, "I want to see if it works. If only one of us does it, I'll just figure it's a fluke—"
"NO!" Severus said more firmly. From the front of the store, the shopkeeper looked over at them inquisitively. Severus lowered his voice, trying to sound calm. "I just don't want you to, okay? And I don't want you to, either—"
"Are you blushing?" Lily asked, a little louder than he would have liked. "Come on, Sev, what's the harm in it?"
"It's my own private business," he whispered. "I'm done here. I'm leaving." With that, he walked briskly out of the store. There's no way I want everyone knowing I'm just a halfblood. It's not for anyone to know but me. It doesn't even matter much, anyway!
Lily followed after him. "Severus!" She grabbed him by the shoulder. "What's your problem? What happened back there?"
"It was stupid!" he replied. "I didn't want to touch that thing—"
"You're not still being weird about being part Muggle, are you? Because you—"
"I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!" he shouted, his lip curled, the color draining from his face.
Lily closed her mouth and set her jaw. She nodded, and walked off further down the lane.
"Oy!" he said, trailing her. "Don't go, don't be like that—I didn't mean to yell—"
"I know you don't want to be associated with your father," she said, turning around. "But…It's okay to be yourself, even if you don't like your father, so you're a Halfblood—so what?—"
"I told you, he's not really even my dad anymore. I disowned him—"
"I know, I know," Lily nodded. "But it's…" She trailed off and then looked at him in the eye. "Severus, you're not embarrassed by me for being a Muggle-born, are you?"
His eyes widened. "No," he said instantly, though the really answer was I'm not sure. He forced a laugh. "What gives you that idea?"
"Just… I know you've been hanging around Malfoy an awful lot. I wondered if maybe he put you off me," she said, smiling slightly.
Relieved she wasn't being serious, he smiled back. "Nobody could ah… Nobody could put me off you."
"Why, Severus," she said, "I believe that's the most romantic thing I've ever heard you say." And before he could protest, she fell back in step with him, picked up his arm and put it around her shoulder.
"Don't get too used to it," he said derisively, though he enjoyed feeling her next to him. From this angle he had a better view of her cleavage.
Lily grinned up at him, causing him to avert his gaze. "If you were any more corny, I don't know if we'd really work."
What does that mean? he thought as they walked. We'd work? We'd work? I wonder if she thinks of me as a boyfriend? He was brought out of his thoughts as soon as he realized where Lily had steered him. They were standing in a deserted alley just beyond the old bookstore he'd frequented as a young boy. "So uh… what's here?" he asked stupidly, looking around. The alley was dim and dirty, and a slight chill hung in the air. Wanted posters for various suspicious-looking witches were posted up across from them.
Lily laughed, and then without saying anything, she pressed herself against him and snogged him, pushing them both back against the wall. Reminded of their first kiss at school, Severus was a bit taken aback. He liked that Lily was kissing him (what idiot wouldn't?) but it irked him momentarily that he hadn't gotten the gumption to make a move on her first. That thought faded as soon as she pushed her waist against his. He'd had an uncomfortable erection for the first part of the afternoon, and now he felt himself stiffening again as he felt her hips slightly rubbing against him. He about lost it when she applied pressure, pressing her hips against his hard cock firmly while still kissing him on the mouth.
He broke out of the kiss and clenched his teeth. "What are you doing?" he said quietly.
"Is it okay?" she asked, alert. She pulled away slightly. The look in her wide eyes made him feel even more aroused. Grabbing her hands, he nodded.
"It's more than okay," he said, "it's just… it's a bit embarrassing. Ah…" He looked down, indicating the front of his trousers, where Lily's lower waist was still pressed.
Lily shrugged. "Not to me," she said. "Anyway, I know what it is. You have an erection," she announced, blunt as ever.
"What—" Severus' ears turned pink, and he scanned the alley nervously. "How do you know that?"
"I'm not stupid," Lily said, smiling. Is she trying to drive me crazy! he thought, his heart palpitating in his chest. He settled against the wall, trying to figure out what to say. But it was Lily who continued to talk. "You look nervous," she said worriedly. "We can stop if you want."
"I'm not… nervous," Severus managed to say with an embarrassed shrug, "I'm just… it's not something I've really discussed with people. It's… Something I usually want to hide." He furrowed his brows. "Though it seems that without my robes, it is rather out there."
Lily giggled, and he raised his eyebrows. They dropped each others' hands. "I'm just laughing at your wording," she explained. "Anyway, I don't know why you're so nervous—"
"I said I wasn't nervous," he argued instantly.
"All right, so not nervous but… Uncomfortable?" Begrudgingly, he nodded. She certainly knew him well. "Well, I just wish you weren't. After all, I've seen your thing before—"
He cringed. "My thing?" He gave a slight laugh. "I forgot about that—well, I didn't necessarily forget, but it seems like a long time ago. And I didn't have a hard-on then—"
"A hard-on?" she repeated, nodding, as though she was learning something very important. "I guess back then I wouldn't have really known to notice a difference—"
"Yes. But it was much different. And don't call it my thing—"
"Your willy, then?"
"No!" Severus protested. He averted his eyes, smirking slightly. "It's my cock."
"Ohhh," said Lily, laughing but nodding. "Okay. Noted." There was a moment of slightly awkward silence, and they both laughed lightly as though unable to think of what to say. Finally, Severus decided it was high time to kiss her. He brought his hands to her waist and pressed his lips to hers, pulling on her bottom lip slightly with his teeth. Lily's body instantly pressed to his again and she held him around the shoulders.
She slipped her tongue between his teeth and they touched tongues while kissing; it felt so good that Severus was having a hard time remembering to breathe. He did a quick look around of the area. It was still deserted, so he tentatively trailed a finger down her front, over her right breast.
Lily shivered a bit and moaned slightly into his mouth. He adjusted his hard dick and continued kissing her, moving his mouth to her neck. He stroked her left breast with his pointer finger nail, and felt as her nipple hardened. He smirked against her neck and kissed her there, his heart pounding against hers. He started at the base of her neck near her chest, and then rapidly moved his mouth around, enjoying the way he could feel her squirming in his grasp.
"That feels good," she muttered quietly, "that feels really good—"
"Okay…Good," he said into her neck, and continued kissing it, grazing her with his teeth, eliciting another moan from her. He breathed hot on her neck, using his teeth more and more. Lily moaned again, a sharper sound, and held one of his hands, entangling her fingers between his. She bent her head inward and made light imprints of her lips on his neck. He sighed outwardly at how pleasant it felt, and ran his hands through her thick, soft hair. Working her hand along his back, she pressed deeper onto him and to both his delight and surprise, she brought her hand down to his groin and cupped the bulge of his cock through his black jeans.
"Jesus, Lily," he grunted softly, looking over the top of her head again and into the alleyway. No one was to be seen, which he figured was good. Not that he really would have wanted her to stop anyway.
She pulled her head from the crook of his neck and looked up at him, her eyes locked into his. "Does this feel all right?" she asked softly, and began to slowly stroke his cock. He ceased to be able to think straight and simply nodded rapidly, licking his lips, drinking in the scent of her peppermint shampoo. He gave a small moan, and leaned back on the wall, closing his eyes. He wanted to touch Lily, too, but this felt too good—he could only focus on this.
"A bit faster," he muttered and she complied. The friction was almost unbearable. He bit his lip and moaned again, gripping her shoulders and then running one hand through her hair.
"Oh no," Lily said suddenly. "That can't be the time!" She held out Severus' arm, where his father's old watch was ticking away. "It's five! Five o'clock! We've been out for hours—"
"What's the problem? You're watching the clock?" he asked, his eyes fluttering open. "Keep going—"
"Severus, I have to leave! Mary and I got to Diagon Alley at eleven in the morning! That means I've been out for nearly six hours, I can't let them know I wasn't with Mary! I have to get home and make sure I send her an owl!" Lily adjusted her purse.
He grabbed her hand. "Come on… Just a few more minutes?"
Lily shook her head and pulled away. "No. I can't. Write to me, okay?"
"I'll come with you," he said darkly, unable to hide his disappointment. He hadn't expected her to fully wank him off their in the alley, but now he wished she would have. They headed back toward Diagon Alley. "I have to get my schoolbooks yet. Mr. Malfoy's getting me the ones my mum didn't already have for me. You're taking Advanced Potions, right?"
"Of course—"
"Who else in Gryffindor is going to be in it? Not Potter or Black, I expect," Severus commented bitterly, trying to ignore his painful erection.
Lily shook her head. "Nope, not them. Remus, Xing, Muruvi, Alice and Frank, though. They're the ones I remember, anyway. Who'll be in it from Slytherin?"
"Rosier, Mulciber, Middleton and Moffit," said Severus. Lily made a face (he supposed it had to do with Mulciber), but he ignored it. "Don't know who else from the other dorms. I'm quite looking forward to it."
"I can't believe I didn't ask you!" Lily said loudly and playfully slapped her forehead. "You got your letter, right? I got mine this morning!"
Severus looked at her quizzically. "What letter? You mean, with our school supplies? I got that awhile ago—"
"No, our Prefect letter!" Lily said excitedly. "McGonagall sent me post about it, I'm to be one of Gryffindor's Prefects! It's going to be a lot of responsibility, but I'm really excited. She told me I was her best Gryffindor student by far! Who knows who the other Prefect is! I hope it's someone all right. She said—"
"Wait… You got an invitation to become a Prefect today?" he asked, perking up. "What time?"
"Just before I left for Diagon Alley," she replied.
"Oh, okay," he said, relieved. He'd been waiting to become a prefect for ages. "I probably just missed it. I'll look for it when I go back—"
"There's no way you didn't get," Lily said, "you're the best in Slytherin after all."
He nodded, puffing out his chest slightly. "You're right. It's probably at Lucius' right now." Severus looked around and then awkwardly bent over her and made to kiss her, but he missed and hit her chin. Just as he was hurrying back toward Flourish and Blots, Lily called after him. He turned around.
"Hey Sev," she began, looking up at him from across the paved walkway. "Does this mean we're…" She trailed off, and looked slightly embarrassed.
"We're what?" he asked, trying to tug his overcoat over his erection.
"Going steady?" she inquired, shuffling her feet.
Severus nodded eagerly, excited. "Yeah, all right," he said, trying to sound casual.
"Okay," she replied, "good. Well, tell me when you get your letter. See you!" He wanted to say more to her, but she was off already. Going steady, he thought, trying out the words in his mind. I have a girlfriend! LILY EVANS IS MY GIRLFRIEND! He still wasn't sure what it meant, but he liked the sound of it, anyway. Then a strange sort of thought struck him: Did this mean that, as boyfriend and girlfriend he and Lily would be, just maybe, having sex sometime? Wasn't that the sort of thing boyfriends and girlfriends got up to? Not to mention, unlimited amounts of snogging and all kinds of other stuff that went along with sex? Spending more time together, in general? Suddenly, something that had seemed improbable was now a foreseeable reality. There was nothing that could break Severus' bad mood now. These thoughts, on top of his erection, were overwhelming. He immediately went into Flourish and Blots and jerked off in the restroom. The relief that followed was awe-inspiring.
But, of course, it wasn't for forever. When Severus returned to Lucius' that night, there was no mail for him—not a single postcard, let alone a letter from Hogwarts. Abraxus and Diana were dining out and the house seemed deserted until Severus located Lucius, draped over one of the sitting room couches going over notes from his internship.
"And where have you been?" asked Lucius lazily, sitting up and patting the couch cushion next to him. "Everyone's gone back home for good. I thought you'd at least be here today to talk to me—"
Severus waved him away. "I've been out," he said hurriedly. "Did you see any owls here today with post for me? I'm looking for a letter—"
"No," Lucius replied. "Only this morning. But it wasn't for you. Before Rosier took off, she got her Prefect letter from Professor Slughorn—"
"WHAT?" Severus burst out, unable to control his rage. "Rosier got a Prefect letter?"
Lucius blinked. "Severus, why are you carrying on so?"
"I haven't gotten my letter," Severus snapped, and began to pace. "I know I was supposed to get one! If Rosier got hers, I should have mine! Why hasn't mine come? WHY HASN'T—"
"How do you know you got picked?" interrupted Lucius, crossing one leg over the other and putting down his book.
Severus gritted his teeth and did not cease in pacing. "You're joking, right? How do I know I got picked?" he said mockingly. The volume of his voice reached a crescendo. "I'M THE BEST! I'M THE BEST STUDENT IN SLYTHERIN!"
"Well, don't blame me," pouted Lucius, rolling his eyes. "For Salazar's sake, take a deep breath and stop acting insane. Now, come over here and discuss this with me like a normal person-"
"I can't discuss!" Severus snarled, stomping his foot. "I want to know why my letter hasn't come—"
"Obviously, you weren't made a Prefect," said Lucius, and then shrugged at Severus' furious expression. "Come on. Be reasonable. Nothing else could have happened."
Severus kicked at the carpet. "I've been waiting for this moment forever!"
Lucius' expression softened considerably. "Look, when I was a Prefect, it was awfully difficult to keep track of my time and I am hardly as obsessive about school as you. I had a million things to do. I could hardly socialize! You are better off not being one. You make good marks, and now you'll have more time to study—"
"I want to be a Prefect! I'm supposed to be one!" Severus exclaimed.
"Not if you aren't one," responded Lucius, smirking.
"You aren't any help," Severus said, glaring. "Just because you probably got your letter right away and everything—"
"Oh, calm down, Severus," Lucius said. "I'll indulge you. Perhaps there's been a mistake. So all you need to do is write a letter to Slughorn and ask him why you haven't gotten your letter. I can give you his address if you stop shouting."
Professor Slughorn,
I am writing in regards to my Prefect letter.
Where is it?
Signed,
Severus Snape
Dear Severus Snape,
Greetings! I hope you are having a good rest of the summer, and that you are readying yourself for Advanced Potions. I regret to inform you that, although you are an excellent student and were most definitely in the running for Prefect, I have chosen two people who I think are better suited for the task. I hope this does not discourage you from putting your best foot forward and accomplishing all you wish for this school year.
Enjoy the remainder of break, Severus!
Sincerely,
Horace Slughorn, Head of Slytherin House
"What a load of bullshit," Severus said, crumpling the letter and throwing it in the fireplace. "All that I wished for the school year was to be a Prefect. I wonder who else got it, if not Mulciber or Avery—"
"If you murdered them, maybe you'd be the next up for Prefect," said Lucius, yawning. Lucius' solutions always seemed to fall in the category of violence, which Severus did not mind. Sometimes it was not very helpful, though. "Of course, you'd have to hide that you did it, but I have faith that you could—"
Severus punched the couch. "I just CAN'T believe it. It's such a fucking joke. No one else in my year is as good as me. Rosier? I tutored her! I brought her up to where she is—"
"Usually they pick a male and a female student, though, Severus. And let's face it—Rosier's about the only girl in your year with any brains. Slughorn was really scraping the bottom of the cauldron with that choice," Lucius replied crisply. "Who else is there? Name off the rest of the male students—"
"Well, Middleton's in my dorm—"
"Who is Middleton?" Lucius asked. "I don't remember him—"
"That's just it. He's a complete bore. He's not at all memorable. He's constantly complaining about our dueling club, as he thinks we're breaking some sort of unwritten rule. He's told on Rosier for hanging out in our dorm with me, but because we were only studying, nothing came of it. Like anything else would happen with her. Yuck. He tried to convince Slughorn that Mulciber had illegal fireworks from Hogsmede, and he's just a complete arse." Severus slumped back against the couch. "And then in the other dorm, there's—" He stopped speaking as soon as he realized that Lucius was staring at him. "What?" he snapped.
"I think we've found who the other Prefect is," Lucius replied.
They stayed up until one in the morning planning out ways Severus could sabotage Middleton as a Prefect, which made him feel slightly better. He woke up curled up on the couch, sore and still upset. He couldn't admit he hadn't been chosen to Lily. He'd look like a complete loser. He would have to think of a good excuse.
Lily was more ready to go back to Hogwarts then ever. More than anything, she was excited to see Severus. She hadn't spoken to him since their meeting in Diagon Alley, which she supposed could be considered their first actual date. At last. Lily had been wondering what it would be like to have Severus as a boyfriend for a long time, and now it had finally happened. It was obnoxious that she couldn't tell anyone, though she still felt a bit self-conscious about it. While Mary wrote extensive letters about the love poems Gilderoy Lockhart had written for her (which Lily had a suspicion were plagiarized), Lily couldn't even talk about how she had a proper boyfriend! Not that Severus is exactly a proper boyfriend, she thought as she headed through King's Cross toward the platform and instantly felt guilty. She was beyond thrilled that he was her boyfriend now, but she still had so many worries about what her friends would think.
Her family had been the same as usual for the remainder of the summer. Mary had been a good alibi for the day in Diagon Alley, once Lily had decided to lie and say she'd run into Belby in the back of the bookstore and that they'd spent the afternoon together. Lily figured she should begin to write all these lies down; it was getting tiring. Mother and Father were very proud of her being of a prefect, though Petunia had found a way to make it into a negative thing, as usual. "And what on earth does it mean to be a prefect at a school like yours?" Petunia had asked so rudely that Lily couldn't help but take her otherwise innocent question as an insult. Lily had mostly ignored her sister, and had kept up her habit of reading books she'd gotten from the library.
She made certain to bring her copy of the Charles Bukowski short stories and poems that she'd enjoyed so much the summer before. She thought it might be sort of exciting to share it with Severus, as many of the stories were slightly sultry. She imagined them doing all kinds of things: going for walks, on dates in Hogsmede, snogging around the Hogwarts grounds…
But the thought that had been on her mind since the day in Diagon Alley was that she would very much like to get past snogging with Severus. She liked kissing him very much, and they'd kissed quite a bit—there was nothing wrong with the kissing. But Lily's mind had been wandering, and she wanted to know how other things would feel with Severus. She'd very much liked feeling his erection the other day—the way he'd leaned against the wall and moaned as though he was losing control of his own body. She hadn't been able to get it out of her mind. It didn't help that every time they'd snogged, they'd been outside. Lily would very much like to do it on a bed. She'd been imagining having Severus up to her room at school, and closing the curtains of her canopy bed around them as they snogged. She then would imagine him pulling up her shirt and touching her breasts the way he had in Knockturn Alley. Next, she thought about him moving his fingers to her privates, slipping a finger inside her pants. She often tried imagining them having sex, but she couldn't get as far with that fantasy. She still wasn't quite sure what it would be like, but she was very willing to find out. She figured that as a Prefect, she should be thinking about far more responsible things. A familiar, obnoxious yell broke her out of her pleasant daydreams.
"EVANS!" shouted Potter, waving and heading toward her. Not surprisingly, Remus, Sirius and Peter were at his side.
Lily looked up, somewhat shocked to find herself surrounded by her schoolmates on Nine and Three Quarters. She'd been extremely lost in her thoughts. "Hello," she greeted them, and on Remus' shirt, she noticed a gold glinting Prefect badge. "Brilliant, Remus! I've been made one, too."
He nodded and blushed slightly. "I figured as much. Honestly, I don't know how I was chosen—"
"He's being modest," Potter said, "just a moment ago, he was going on and on about how hard working he's been, how much studying he does and all other sorts of boring things a prefect should say. Badge looks good on you, Evans," he continued, unapologetically looking at her chest and grinning. Sirius shoved him.
"Well, thank you, Potter," Lily said, pursing her lips. "So glad I once again have met your approval."
Potter grinned. "Come off it," he said lightly. "Congratulations, nerd. You deserved it." He stuck out his hand. Lily found it amazing how she'd turned him down twice over the summer and he was still carrying on as if nothing had happened. It was impressive in an obnoxious way.
Lily walked past them. "See you on the train, Remus," she called behind her.
"Ouch," she heard Sirius say loudly. Trying to put Potter's comments out of her mind, she scanned the crowd for Severus. Her letter had told her to meet early in the second compartment with the other prefects, and then to begin assisting younger children on the train. Once in the compartment, Lily was confused to see Rosier and Middleton already there, both wearing their silver Slytherin prefect badges. She'd thought for certain Severus was going to be picked. He was always the top of Slytherin in their joint classes! Remus joined her, smiling shyly. Wynona Mayne and Delvin Michaels joined them, wearing their bronze badges, and Carmine Frank rushed in with her yellow-gold badge, explaining that her fellow Hufflepuff Sylvester Wroggins was ill and would be arriving at school later that week. Astrid Greengrass, brandishing her Head Girl badge, gave the prefects a brief explanation of their duties. But Lily's attention was drawn instead to the compartment window, where she searched the hoards of students for Severus. Once Astrid had concluded her lecture, the prefects began to drift out into the train hallway.
Lily grabbed Rosier lightly by the sleeve. "Have you seen Severus? I thought he'd be a Prefect, too—"
Rosier looked down at her sleeve as though Lily's hand was covered in hairy spiders. She pulled away and grimaced. "I spent an hour pressing my robes, Evans. You shouldn't just tug on my arm like that," she said icily. "I haven't heard from Severus in a week."
Ethan Middleton stared at Lily blankly. "Severus Snape? A prefect? Like that would ever happen. Snape has the worst moods of anyone I've ever met—"
"He's top in Slytherin," Lily snapped. "He's always got the best marks on his papers—"
"Please," declared Middleton, snorting. "Top in Slytherin? Snape isn't prefect material. He's too mean. None of the professors like him much-"
"He's not mean," argued Lily, "he's—"
"Why do you care?" asked Rosier, staring at her in great interest. Lily felt her face get hot. Rosier's eyes seemed to bore into her.
She shrugged, and averted her eyes. "I don't care—I was just wondering, is all." The other prefects pushed past them, eager to jump on their duties. Remus hung by Lily's side.
"I heard you calling him "Sev" once, too," Rosier went on, and Lily's insides did a spin. "On his birthday. You friends with him, or something? Because I've never heard him speak about being friends with you."
"It was… nothing," Lily sputtered out, and Remus stared at her questioningly. "You must have heard me wrong. We live near each other—we don't know each other well at all—"
Rosier smirked at her. "That much is clear. I wouldn't think Severus would spend any time with a shit blood like you."
Lily's mouth fell open, and Middleton gawked. Remus opened his mouth to say something, but then stopped. "Evan, you ought not talk like that," Middleton said quietly. "It's not appropriate—"
"What are you, a Mudblood Lover?" challenged Rosier dangerously. "Not appropriate. You little wimp. I wish Severus was a prefect. He'd never be such a prat. Let's go." She flounced out of the compartment, and then stared behind her. "I said come on, Ethan!"
Middleton looked at Lily apologetically, shrugged, and followed Rosier.
"Can you believe that?" Lily exclaimed angrily, looking to Remus. "I have no idea how she became a prefect! Do you think I should report her?"
"Who to?" he asked, shrugging. "I'd just ignore her if I were you. It's not worth it—"
"Not worth it?" Lily repeated. "I've never even heard the term shit blood before! How foul!"
"She's a foul girl," Remus replied. "If she says anything again, tell her you'll go to Dumbledore. But I wouldn't say anything now. We should really start helping out the first years—" he paused, and then looked at Lily seriously. "One thing, though. Do you actually call Severus Sev?"
Lily's face turned pink and she shook her head. This situation was already becoming disastrous. And where IS Severus, anyway? I'll be sure to tell him I don't appreciate his rude friend Rosier. "Maybe when we were little kids growing up—I don't know—I haven't called him that in forever—"
"It just doesn't really suit him," said Remus quietly, and on that awkward note, they headed out to patrol the train. Lily did not recall being so small as a first year. All around her, little boys and girls were shouting, crying, asking endless questions, pulling her robes, requesting help for missing parcels and pets and shooting all kinds of spells out of their wands. To top it off, Rosier was nowhere to be seen. After dealing with a first year who was crying because he'd misplaced his cauldron, Lily happened to glance into one of the last compartments.
There was Rosier, sitting between Mulciber and Avery and looking quite relaxed. Severus and Regulus were sitting across from them, and they were all laughing. Feeling particularly irritated, Lily stood in the compartment window until Regulus turned to look, and then said something to the group. They all turned. The rest of them continued to laugh, but Severus stopped, looking serious. He made a motion to Lily with his head that Lily irately realized meant he wanted her to go away. She gave him her trademark slit-eyed glare.
"Miss! Miss! I don't have a quill!" sobbed a small girl, tugging on Lily's robes. "How will I write notes?"
Lily sighed and turned away from the compartment. She could deal with him later.
"What's your problem?" whispered Lily into Severus' ear as the students descended into the Great Hall. To Lily's great annoyance, Rosier was now bossing around the other prefects and shouting at crying students as though she'd been involved the entire time.
"Problem?" Severus turned to look at her. "Hello, by the way," he said in a rude tone Lily didn't like. "I don't have a problem. It was you who came to my compartment like some sort of weirdo—"
Lily looked around to make sure no one was looking and smacked him on the shoulder. "I wasn't being a weirdo! I was looking all over for you! You haven't talked to me since Diagon Alley—"
"You either," Severus said sharply.
"I was waiting for you to write me!" Lily replied. "I told you to write me as soon as you got your letter, and you're not even a prefect! When were you even going to say anything?"
Severus stopped walking, and other students hurried around them, talking loudly. "I was in the running to be a prefect," he said defensively, "but I didn't want to—"
"That's ridiculous," Lily replied. "I know you wanted to be one. You either got asked, or you didn't—"
"What do you know about it?" Severus snapped. "You don't know what happened!"
"Middleton said you had no chance," Lily said, not sure why she was fighting with him about this. Obviously, it was a sore subject. "That you're too mean to be one. And judging by who you were hanging around with on the train today, I'd say he's correct."
"What's wrong with them?" Severus challenged, gripping his book bag as though he was going to toss it down the hall. "They're my friends. And if you have a problem with them, then I'd advise you to take a good look at who you hang out with. Besides, I told you. I could have been a prefect. I just didn't want to—"
"You're lying," Lily said back, glaring. "You weren't asked to be one, and you weren't in the running for it. Why can't you just admit that?"
"I expect you think you're something special," Severus replied, "you and bloody Remus Lupin—"
"What does Lupin have to do with this?"
"I bet you're just thrilled that Lupin's your prefect buddy. Maybe now you want to start snogging him as well as me?" Severus asked bitterly.
Lily's eyes widened. "You're acting crazy. How many times do I have to tell you I don't fancy Lupin, you're jealous—"
"Jealous of a boring, scar-covered goody-goody?" Severus yowled. "You're not being fair!"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa!"
Severus and Lily turned around to see Potter and Black walking toward them. Potter was shaking his head. "Snivellus, please," he went on. "Don't make me hex you—it's the first day of school, mate, really…"
"Was I talking to you?" snarled Severus, looking positively feral.
"No, but you were talking to Evans in a very un-gentlemanly way. You should apologize, Snivellus," instructed Potter.
"Please go away," Lily said quickly. She hoped no one had heard the conversation, but judging from the looks on the two boys' faces, they hadn't heard anything out of the ordinary. "We're handling it on our own—"
"Evans. Heh heh. Leave the handling to me," Potter said, and strutted up to Severus, withdrawing his wand. "Leave her alone."
"Potter!" Lily yelled, pointing frantically at her prefect badge. "You can't do that!"
"You're not serious," Black said. "You'd tell?"
"Most definitely," Lily replied, crossing her arms. "I don't want you cursing him. I don't want you talking about cursing him! Now GET OUT!"
Black grabbed Potter and led him away, both of them throwing angry facial expressions back at her. She couldn't care less about what they thought. Lily turned back to Severus, who still looked furious. "We're going to miss the sorting," she said, trying to speak a bit softer. "I just wanted to know what was going on with you for the rest of the summer. That's all."
"You didn't have to do that, you know," Severus responded. "Just because you're a prefect now, it's not like I can't defend myself—"
Lily looked around them quickly. The hallway had become empty. "I'm not defending you because I'm a prefect. I'm defending you because I like you—"
"Still," he said. "It makes me look ridiculous, because I'm a…"
"You're a what?" she asked.
"Nothing," Severus responded quickly. "We'd better go."
"Wait," Lily said, tugging on his robes gently. "There's one more thing. Rosier called me a really awful name on the train. A shit blood—"
Severus made a face. "Why'd she call you that?" he asked.
"That's not really the point, but it was because I was asking about you. She said you'd never spend time with a shit blood like me, or something," Lily replied. "I don't like her, Severus—"
"Why were you asking about me?" he wanted to know. "I'm not saying she was right to call you that, but I'd rather you not mention me to Rosier—"
"So you're taking her side?" Lily asked, and her tone was once again angry. "Is that how you think about me, too?"
"Don't be an idiot," Severus said, lowering his voice and looking around. "You know how I feel about you. Or…uhm…Leastways, you should know."
Slightly relieved, Lily smiled at him and ran her hand up his arm. "I think I have some idea." From within the Great Hall, they heard the Sorting Hat beginning to sing loudly.
"Don't do this again," Severus whispered harshly, but he was smirking a little. "Not when we can't do anything—"
"What would you want to do, if we could do anything?" Lily asked him quietly, running her hand across his chest slowly.
"I can't say that," Severus replied, looking embarrassed. "You'd think I was a pervert."
"I already sort of think that about you," she said playfully, "so, don't worry about it—"
"Oy!" he said, grinning slightly. "I'm not a pervert, I just… I'd like to spend some alone time with you."
"Alone time? Hmm," she said, feigning ignorance and smiling back at him. "I don't know what that means."
Severus' black eyes darted back and forth. "You shouldn't do this to me," he replied solemnly. "You don't know how bad it would feel if I had to sit throughout the whole fucking feast with a huge hard-on."
"You're right," Lily said. "We'd better go." Before he could pull away, she kissed him on the deeply on the lips and ran her hand over the front of his trousers. "Bye, Severus!"
"Fuck! LILY!" he declared from behind her.
"What is it with you and that Mudblood?" asked Rosier, making an ugly scrunched-up face that gave Severus the deep urge to punch her. It was a week into the new school year, and classes had been much more difficult than usual. The new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, Devillose, was assigning piles of homework and even Slughorn's class was challenging Severus this time around. Lily had been busy with prefect duties, which still made him a little jealous. He wished he was going around with her, enforcing rules, instead of Lupin.
He kept his focus on the old copy of Advanced Potion Making that his mum had sent him. He'd been trying to copy in notes he'd taken over the past year as to remember all the shortcuts he'd come up with. "What Mudblood?" he asked, trying to sound very neutral.
To his annoyance, Rosier sat down next him. "That jumped up Evans bitch," she said. "She seems keen on you, oddly enough."
"What's odd about it?" he asked, flipping through the book and scooting over farther on the common room couch.
Not getting the hint, Rosier scooted closer, and snorted derisively. "No offense, Severus, but you're not very popular with the girls. And that Evans, she was looking for you on the train. Where's Sevy-wev?, she asked." She laughed at her own joke. "She said you used to be friends when you were kids. Why were you friends with her?"
Severus looked over the top of his book. "There was no one else around. Honestly, this is old news and I'm tired of going over it. We didn't live by any other magical kids. Satisfied?"
"Seems like she still likes you," Rosier went on. "What kind of friends were you, anyway? Did you play hide-the-wand with her, or something?"
Being raised mostly Muggle, Severus had no idea what in the world hide-the-wand was, but he could certainly guess. "Don't be disgusting," he said tersely, but he raised up his book to hide his embarrassed expression. "Why do you care so much?"
"I've just never in my time here heard a girl mention your name who wasn't talking about how disgusting you are," Rosier said innocently, shrugging.
"It's not like I hear any blokes talking about you," Severus said, lowering his book and glowering at her. "You and Avery certainly didn't last long. And since him, you haven't had anyone else. Why not, I wonder?"
"I'm too busy to date anyone," she said, shrugging again, but he was delighted to see she looked a bit uncomfortable. "Look at yourself, Snape. Always alone, reading your stupid books—"
"You're not exactly pretty though, are you?" Severus went on, not caring about her insults.
"Like I care what you think," Rosier replied. "Unpopular, ugly Snivellus telling me I'm not pretty. Like I care," she repeated.
"I don't care how I look," Severus told her, staring her down. "I'm smart and that's what matters to me. But you spend time on pressing your robes, and getting your hair cut and you still manage to look like a bloke."
Rosier jumped off the couch, and her face was bright red. "I can't help if I'm not curvy! I'm just built tiny!" she replied loudly. He hadn't even meant it that way, but he'd obviously struck a nerve. "I don't like girly stuff! I'd rather hang around boys. I'm just not a stupid type of girl!" she said, and broke out into tears.
"You're hideous," Severus told her pointedly, and watched as she ran from the common room, sobbing. Satisfied, he settled back on the couch with his book, glad he once again had more room to stretch out.
"You didn't have to call her names," Lily said, raising her eyebrows at the story Severus had just told her.
"I thought you wanted me to get her back. Besides, she was snooping around. I needed to throw her off," Severus responded. They were sitting side by side at one of the back tables in the library, facing outward so they could keep an eye on anyone who walked past. Underneath the table they were holding hands, and Lily had placed her leg close to Severus' and was rubbing against him slowly. There was a pause in the conversation, and Severus sighed quietly, leaning against Lily's shoulder. "Keep doing that," he said.
Lily continued to rub her leg against his, massaging his fingertips with her own. "You could have just told her to mind her own business," she said. "So, what did she say after that?"
"Nothing," he replied. "I made that cunt cry like a little baby."
Lily nudged him with her leg. "Severus! Don't call her that! And, you made her cry?"
"What else was I supposed to do?" he asked austerely. "She called you a shit blood."
"I can't believe you made her cry," Lily said, sounding slightly impressed, and she let out a short laugh.
Severus chuckled darkly. "Do your Gryffindor friends know what a sick sense of humor you have?" he wanted to know, running his fingertips over the bit of bare leg between Lily's skirt and sock.
She shivered, probably at the feeling of his nails on her skin. "No," she whispered, shaking her head. "They don't."
"I like it," he said in a low voice. "I like that you pretend you're nice when you're with them, and then when you're with me you don't give a flying fuck about anything." He felt her smooth leg, squeezing her slightly there with his nails.
"Severus," she said softly, "keep touching me—"
"I wasn't about to stop," he said back, his heart pounding. He was getting hard now just by touching her skin, feeling the expanse of her long leg. He had an urge to stick his hand up her skirt, but he worried that would be much too bold. Besides, he was only brave enough to be stroking her leg by some sort of miracle. All throughout their study session, he'd been fantasizing about touching her breasts, sliding his tongue around in her mouth, pushing her facedown onto his four poster bed…
They'd only officially been together a bit more than a month, but it felt like they'd been together for much too long and with no release. Every time they snogged, she'd have to hurry off to do prefect duties, or he'd have to go hang out with his friends for dueling club, or some other damn thing. She hadn't even wanked him off yet. Every night, he'd masturbate and think of fucking her. It was getting obnoxious. He wanted her, not the fantasy of her.
He continued feeling her leg, and she held his other hand strongly, gripping him hard. She leant into him and kissed him on the jaw line, then moved her lips down to his neck and kissed him there. Turned on, he squirmed in his chair, grabbing her leg harder and pulling his palm down it.
"Ouch!" she said in a high voice.
Quickly, he took his hand off her, and withdrew his other hand from hers. "Er—sorry?" he said, slightly irritated.
"Your nails," she said by way of explanation. "They're pretty sharp—"
"All right," he said, slightly humiliated, adjusting his hard dick in his trousers. "I didn't mean to hurt you—"
"It's fine," she said, looking at him curiously. "Well…"
"I'd better go," he said. His good mood had been broken. He knew it was stupid, but it was embarrassing having her cry out like that in the library, and besides, he didn't want to hurt her—he'd meant to make her feel good. Without another word, he got up and left, holding his copy of Advanced Potion Making in front of his groin as a barrier.
"Where are you going so fast, Snivellus?" called out Potter. Black and Pettigrew were with him. Lupin was probably off saving the world.
Why are they everywhere I am, all the time? Severus thought angrily, and tried to look casual despite his erection. "I'm doing to the dorms," he said. "I mean, going to the dorms."
"Doing to the dorms," mocked Potter. "Sounds fun. What's that book you've so curiously placed over your nether regions?"
"Advanced Potions," Black announced.
"Advanced Potion Making," Severus corrected instantly. "Now I've got to leave—"
"Why are you doing that?" pressed Potter. "Are you reading to your willy?"
Severus did not remove the book, but tried desperately to move past the boys. Nimbly, Black snatched the book from his hands. "GIVE IT BACK," Severus shouted, not sure how he should handle the situation. He could cover his dick with his hands, and risk everyone really noticing. He could run away, and no one would notice. But he needed his book.
"What's so special about this, other than all these bloody notes?" Black asked loudly, opening Severus' book and looking through it. He flipped from the front. "Eileen Prince? Who is Eileen Prince?"
"You couldn't afford a new one?" Potter asked, laughing.
"Give it back," Severus said desperately.
"Does it have some sort of powers?" Black asked, and mockingly put it in front of his own groin. "Does it engorge your dick, Snivellus? Why are you putting it there?"
Potter burst out laughing.
"What?" Black asked, grinning in anticipation. "What is it, Prongs?"
Surprisingly, Potter snatched the book back and handed it to Severus. "There you go, Snivellus," he said. Then, to Severus' horror, he added, "He needs that to shield his boner."
Pettigrew, Black and Potter cracked up laughing. "You're right, Prongs!" Black said loudly, pointing. A group of Hufflepuff girls slowed down to listen. "I'm worried that you noticed, however—"
"Why? It's so obvious it's practically its' own person!"
His ears red, Severus took off running down the hallway. He could hear them all laughing and shouting behind him. The next day, he had a new nickname: Severection Chafe.
It only lasted until Transfigurations, during which McGonagall banned it from ever being used at Hogwarts again.
A/N: What did you think?