Eriana and Nathaniel sat on the railing that surrounded the Vigil's Keep training yard. She had one leg pulled up to her chest and was resting her chin on her knee as she and Nathaniel watched Sigrun and Soris circling each other in the ring. Sparring daggers came together, their metallic clashes filling the otherwise quiet morning air. The elf and the dwarf would come together, their weapons meeting in precisely aimed blows before one or both would spin just out of reach; then the dance would start anew. "I think she's holding back a bit," Nathaniel said, leaning over to whisper in her ear. Eriana nodded in agreement. She knew the legionnaire could easily take out her cousin, but pride welled up in Eriana as she watched Soris move. It was clear that the young elf could hold his own in a fight; a fact that was not lost on the perky dwarf who had to focus all her attention on the duel in order to keep Soris from landing a surprise hit.

"You know," Nathaniel said, "in a way, he reminds me of you out there." Eriana glanced over at him, eyebrow raised. "He moves like you do, only he's not as, well, you know…"

"Scary and deadly," Oghren finished, walking up beside them to watch the fight. "He is starting to look better."

Eriana grinned, "He's getting his old form back. There was a time when he could consistently beat me; now, granted, we were just kids at the time and he was about three years older than I was."

"You two fought like this as kids," Nathaniel asked, glancing down at her.

"Yeah, my mother trained us both. When he found out she was teaching me how to use daggers and archery, he insisted that she give him lessons as well. According to him, his little wisp of a cousin wouldn't be able to defend herself properly even if she knew how to handle a pair of daggers, so he should learn to fight as well." She smiled as she glanced back over toward the red-headed elf. "He always was so protective of me and of Shianni as well." She sighed, "You know, if his wife had been killed that day instead of Nelros, I think Duncan would have probably recruited him instead of me. But as it happened, Soris was back taking care of his wife when the guards came to arrest us, so Duncan had to save me instead."

"And you become the Warden while he stays behind and deals with the consequences," Oghren added.

Eriana sighed, "I know; I still feel so guilty about that. If I had made sure all those guards were dead, that there were no witnesses left to bring suspicion on him; then I would have gotten all the credit for it, and he wouldn't have been forced to spend all those months in that dungeon."

Nathaniel looked over at the two of them, a slightly confused look on his face, but didn't say anything. "Don't focus on that, kid," Oghren said. "You did the best you could. And who knows what might have happened if he had stayed in the alienage. You remember what happened there, the riots, the plague, the slavers. His wife disappeared with the first group of elves they took, didn't she? Who's to say that he wouldn't have met the same fate? He may have been killed in the riots or whisked away or killed by the plauge, and you would have never seen him again."

Eriana shuddered at the thought. She had come so close to losing her father to those slaving bastards; in fact, for a time, she honestly believed that she had. She fought through the entire alienage, thinking that her father was already lost to her. Fortunately, they found him locked up with the other elves about to be shipped off Maker knows where. Had they arrived in the alienage only a day later, her father and her friends would have been gone, lost to her forever. To have lost him and Soris…she couldn't bear to think of it. Pushing the image out of her head, Eriana turned back to the sparring ring just in time to see Sigrun knock him to the ground. "Come on Soris, you can do better than that," she shouted as he rolled back onto his feet.

"Hey, I'm trying here; I haven't had anyone to practice with since you disappeared, you know. I'm bound to be a bit rusty here."

"Well, it's clear you need the practice, that's for sure. Maybe with a little work you can get to be as good as me." Soris turned and made a face at her. While he was distracted, Sigrun hit him square in the back, sending him rolling again across the training yard. Eriana doubled over in laughter. "Then again, maybe not. Maybe you can become as good as I was, you know, before I joined the Wardens."

Soris feigned laughter, flashing an obscene gesture her way before turning back to the dwarf. "Bite me!" he shouted over his shoulder as the two faced off again.

Eriana giggled, leaning forward on her knee to watch as the two rogues faced off again.

"I think he's been good for you, you know that right," Oghren said. "That's the first time I've heard you laugh like that since you got here."

"I think that's the first time I've ever heard you laugh like that," Nathaniel said. "You're like a whole different person when he's around."

Eriana sighed, "I know. It's been so nice having him around these last few days. I'm really going to miss him when he goes back to Denerim."

"So, why does he have to go back so soon," Oghren asked, looking up at her. "After all, there's plenty of room here for him; plus there's plenty of stuff here to keep him busy."

"It would be a shame to have him come all this way only to have him leave so soon," Nathaniel added.

Eriana turned and looked at the two men. "Alright, you two, I know an ambush when I see one."

Oghren chuckled, "It's not an ambush; we were just getting used to havin him around, that's all. I never did get around to challenging him to another drinking contest; I'd be interested to see how he'd stand up against my new Warden stamina."

"Oghren, you drank him under the table before you became a Warden; he could barely hold his head up by the time you were through. I shudder to imagine the state he'd be in if he tried to keep up with you now."

"So if I promise not to challenge him to a drinking competition, can I keep him?" Oghren said with a grin.

Nathaniel shook his head, "Look, drinking contest and all that aside, I think it would be good for you to have someone else here that you feel comfortable around; you know, someone you trust completely."

"I would be, and there's a part of me, a selfish part of me, that would like to keep him here. But he lives with my father, looking out for him while I'm away."

"Doesn't Shianni live there too?" Oghren pointed out. "She can look out for him if Soris moved up here."

"It's not just that; I mean…" Eriana sighed and hopped off the fence, next to the two men. "I'm just afraid I can't keep him safe here with everything that's going on. I mean between the nobles and the darkspawn…I'd never forgive myself if I let something happen to him. If he got hurt or killed while he was here for me…" she shook her head, looking away. "Too many people have gotten hurt trying to protect me, and I can't let that happen again, not to Soris."

"Whoa, whoa, there, kid. I'm not askin you to make the kid a Warden or anything; I'm just sayin it'd be good for you to have him here. Weren't you saying to me that you were worried about opening up with us about your true feelings because you're supposed to be our commanding officer? Well, if he stays, problem solved, right? You can be all weepy around him and get it out of your system; that way you can still be all "commandery" around us."

Eriana glanced over at Oghren, "You know, it really helps booster my confidence in my leadership abilities when you use those air quotes every time you refer to me as your commander."

Nathaniel rolled his eyes as Oghren continued. "Hehe, you know your'e more than just a commander to me, Ana. That title doesn't earn you my respect, and you know that. You've had that since I first joined you and your rag-tag gang back in Orzammar. Just think about it, okay." Oghren patted her on the back.

Nathaniel spoke up, "Look, Ana, all that aside, I know you want to protect him; you want to protect everyone all the time. But you can't shield him from everything. Besides, no one outside of the Wardens and Varel even knows that he's your cousin, so the nobles need never find out who he really is. As for the darkspawn, where would he be more safe from darkspawn than here, surrounded by Grey Wardens? Your other cousin can look after your father for you. Let him stay; I think it would be good for you to have family close by."

Eriana was quiet for a moment. "Look, Ana," Oghren said, "I remember how much you missed your family while we were traveling around during the blight. You may have tried your best to hide it and take comfort with our presence, but I know we were never a substitute for them. Don't forget, I was there with you when you were reunited with each of them. You soaked up their presence like the parched earth absorbs the rain. And I saw the same thing appen when you walked in and saw him the other day."

Nathaniel looked down at the dwarf, "Ah, Oghren, that was beautiful. I didn't know you had it in you."

"What can I say; I wax poetic from time to time. Just don't tell anyone, ok; it might ruin my reputation, ya know."

Eriana grinned, "It will be our little secret."

"What's your little secret," Anders asked cheerfully, as he and Keenan walked up to join them on the fence.

Nathaniel shrugged nonchalantly, "We were just discussing how poetic Oghren can be sometimes."

Anders rolled his eyes, coming up to lean on the fence next to Eriana. "Sure, Oghren poetic, I'll believe that when I see it." Nathaniel glanced over at Eriana and winked once Anders turned to watch the two duelists move around the ring. "So, boss, what's the plan; what do we have next on the agenda?"

Eriana shrugged, "I guess we'll pick up the patrols after court tomorrow. We still need to figure out where all these darkspawn are coming from, so we'll probably need to split up and scout out the arling. Keenan and I should probably need to split up since we've been Wardens long enough to really scout darkspwan from a distance."

"Velanna will be happy about that," Anders said. "I'm not sure she's enjoyed staying locked up in the keep."

"Well, that was her decision. I asked her if she wanted to stay here when I realized that we would be heading into the deep roads."

"Whoa," Anders said, turning toward her. "So we have the choice of opting out of missions that we don't like. Why didn't I know that?"

Eriana chuckled, "She got to opt out for two reasons. One, she Dalish, and the Dalish aren't all that fond of being underground for extended periods of time. And two, she's a woman, and I want to keep women out of the deep roads at all costs."

"Um, not sure if you realized it, but you're both of those things."

Eriana rolled her eyes. "Ignorant, shem," she muttered to herself. "I'm not Dalish; I was raised in the city, remember. Therefore, according to them, I am a lesser class of elf, seeing as how, you know, I had complete control over where I was born and chose to grow up surrounded by humans who looked down on me for simply being who I am."

Oghren chuckled, "Hit a nerve there, mage. You would be wise to remember that – never call her Dalish, unless of course you want to lose your dangly bits."

"But you are a woman; my, ahem, dangly bits are safe in that assertion, right?"

"That much is true, but as your commander, I had to go down there with you. I couldn't very well let three brand-new Wardens go wandering around the deep roads alone."

Nathaniel looked over at her, "So why do you try to avoid taking women underground anyway?"

"You know those things we killed down in Kal' Hirol; those broodmothers, those used to be women, probably humans and dwarfs judging by the types of darkspawn we encountered."

"You encountered broodmothers, wow," Keenan asked, looking over at her, amazed. "I've only heard stories about those things, but I've never been deep enough to actually encounter one. I've heard they can be really tough."

"Well, we were able to kill the ones here from a relatively safe distance, not like the one we fought during the blight." Eriana shivered, "When we ventured into the deeproads to secure the dwarves' alliance, we had to fight one up close and personal. I didn't sleep for a week after that."

"So darkspawn turn women into those things," Anders asked, horrified. "How is that even possible?"

Eriana and Keenan glanced at each other for a moment. "Well," Eriana began, "for some reason, the taint reacts differently in different people. The darkspawn will take women and use the taint to twist them into those abominations. I've seen the taint kill people outright, and I've seen it kill people over a long period of time, changing them into ghouls before they die. Yet, in my time in the deeproads, I met at least two dwarfs who had been living with the darkspawn taint for years, eating darkspawn flesh to survive. It twisted them and corrupted them, but somehow they were able to survive and maintain their memories and personality. There's no telling how people will react to it."

"It can turn you into a darkspawn, too," Keenan added.

Eriana turned and stared at him, "What? I've never heard that."

Keenan nodded, "Yeah, according to Duncan, that's what happened to the Grey Wardens who allied themselves with the Architect. He sped up the taint and turned them into darkspawn like creatures."

"Wait a second, Duncan encountered the Architect, too?"

"Too, what do you mean, too? He fought the Architect nearly twenty five years ago when he was a young Warden. He, King Maric, and an elven mage were the only ones to survive the encounter; he told you about it, right?" Eriana shook her head. "Then how do you know about the Architect?"

"Because he's…it's the darkspawn that's been causing all the trouble around here. He's the one who led the attack on the keep, abducted you, and experimented on us." Keenan paled. "You mean you didn't know," Eriana gasped.

"No," Keenan said, "He never spoke to me; I never saw it. Are you sure that thing was the Architect?"

She glanced over at Anders, "That's what he called himself in his writings," the mage said slowly, "and that's what that elf referred to him as, too. I've been working on translating his writing, but it's tricky. All I've gotten out of them so far is something about a plan to free his brethren, or something like that. You wouldn't know what this is about?"

Keenan nodded, wide-eyed. "I can't believe you don't know about this; I mean it's told to every new Warden in Orlais, and Duncan was your commanding officer."

"In Duncan's defense, I was a Warden for a day and a half when he died and Alistair had only been in the order for a few months. Neither of us knew how to kill an archdemon until Riordan arrived from Jader and told Loghain and me," Eriana said.

"Look," Nathaniel said, stepping between them. "We need to figure out exactly what we all know, but perhaps this isn't the best place for this discussion."

"I agree, too many non-Warden ears," Eriana said. "Anders, find Velanna; everyone else, meet in my quarters in an hour. I'll have some lunch sent up. We need to figure out just what we know about this Architect." She turned back to the forgotten duel. "Sigrun, wrap it up, Warden meeting in an hour."

The dwarf nodded and moved as quick as lightning, knocking a dazed Soris to the ground and bringing her daggers down to his throat. Nathaniel chuckled, "See, I told you she was holding back."

-0-

Eriana wished she had waited till after the Warden meeting to eat lunch. Her stomach churned as she paced in front of the fire, listening to Keenan as he explained what had happened to Duncan when he first encountered the Architect. Apparently, several of the Grey Wardens who accompanied Duncan decided to ally themselves with the sentient darkspawn, allowing him to speed up the corruption in their blood, turning them into distorted shadows of their former selves. And for what? For a vague promise of the end of the darkspawn threat. According to the two Wardens who survived the encounter, the Architect planned to taint the surface, making everyone immune to the blight disease by corrupting every human, elf, qunari, and dwarf alive, killing millions. It was a price far too high to pay. Not only that, but apparently the commander of their group revealed to the Architect the location of the three sleeping old gods, including Urthemil, the god who rose and led the blight against Ferelden.

When Eriana heard that last part, she stopped in dead in her tracks, a dizzy feeling rushing over her as the blood drained quickly from her head. Nathaniel stood up quickly, catching her in his arms and leading her to a chair, telling her to sit before she passed out. "So you're telling me that this thing could have started the blight."

"It looks that way. He said he was looking for a way to free the darkspawn from the call of the old gods. According to Duncan, he wanted to find the old gods so that he could change them."

"Maker's breath," she muttered, cradling her head in her hands, trying to make the world stop spinning around her. "All those people, the King, the Wardens, all because of this…this creature! We have to destroy it."

"Well, what are we doing here then," Velanna asked in a snippy voice. "I've been hanging out in this keep for weeks now, only leaving when some shem needs us to come investigate some attack. We need to be out there, tracking him down."

"And where exactly do you expect us to look, Velanna," Eriana snapped, getting back to her feet. "We've taken out a huge breeding nest; what more do you expect. Warden senses aren't super powers, you know; we can't just summon him to us and wandering around aimlessly in the deeproads is simply foolish with our small numbers. He wants us, and apparently he needs us, too. He's losing control of the situation; that's probably why they are fighting each other. It's likely that he'll come to us," she said, and the rest of the Wardens nodded.

"And when he does, we finish him," Oghren added. "We already saw the result of siding with that thing; ancestor's tits, we all nearly died sopping up the mess those Orlesians left behind."

"Agreed," Eriana said with a sigh. "Okay, I have to hold court in two days. Once that is over, we spread out and try to root out any darkspawn cells in the arling. Maybe if our presence will draw him out."

"Or he could try to draw us into another trap," Nathaniel said. "We need to be cautious here. He seems to need Wardens for his experiments; we cannot afford to have any of us captured by him again."

Eriana sighed. "Look, we aren't going to solve any of this today," she said, rubbing her temples. "And I'm going to need some time to process all this." She sighed again and got to her feet. "Nathaniel, do you think you could meet with Varel for me…after this, I just don't think I could handle going over all that political stuff right now."

"I'll take care of it," he said, lightly touching her arm as he and the other Wardens began to file out. He turned back to her when he reached the door. "Are you going to be okay, Ana?"

"Yeah," she said, sitting back down on the couch. "I've just got a lot to think about, Nathaniel. I'll see you in the morning." The rogue hesitated at the door, and for a moment, it looked as though he was going to say something more. Instead, he just sighed and wished her a good night.

Eriana curled up on the couch; unable to summon the strength to make it to her bed, she merely pulled a blanket over her and stared ahead into the dying embers of the fire. That day had brought so many questions, but one, more than the others, was troubling her. What did the Architect promise to make seasoned, experienced Wardens abandon everything they believed in, everything they had fought for and join forces with him? Or was it something else, something more than a promise that made them make such an inconceivable decision? They were old Wardens, close to their calling; did that have something to do with it? Did a lifetime of living everyday facing the horrors and terrors of the world drive them to abandon all hope? Yes, as a Warden, you paid a high price, but Eriana had seen firsthand why that cost was necessary. The Wardens shielded the world, protected every living soul in it, but to do so, they sacrificed so much. Perhaps it was too much for them; maybe those Wardens wanted to put an end to it all so that future generations wouldn't be forced to make the same sacrifice, the sacrifice that Eriana herself was forced to make.

The light outside her window began to fade as twilight began to creep across the courtyard; Eriana pulled the blanket tightly around her. It had been a long time since she had really thought about all she had given up by becoming a Warden. It had always seemed to be a more than fair trade for her; after all, had Duncan not been there, she would have been executed. But what about those who did have something to lose, was it worth it, siding with the Architect, if doing that could shield others from this life? No, this life was a worthy sacrifice; at least that's what she told herself, anyway. Thirty years is a long time, especially now that the thing that had made her life worth living was gone. But if she could have him back, have more time with Zevran, would she make the same deal those other Wardens made? She didn't know, maybe. Not that it mattered now, anyway. Zevran was gone, and there was no suggestion that he might be coming back. It had been two months since he left, and according to him, it only took two weeks to sail from Ferelden to Antiva. He'd had over a month to write, to let her know that he was alright, that he still cared, but there had been nothing, no word, no letter, no messenger, nothing.

If the Architect offered her the one thing she wanted, the only thing she desired, would she make the same decision? If the Architect offered her a way to spare others the pain of losing their loved ones, what would she say? She didn't know. Maybe Wynne was right, maybe love and the Grey Wardens don't mix. Maybe she was would be a better Warden now that she no longer had Zevran. Maybe if she kept telling herself that, it would make things easier.

Eriana felt herself beginning to drift off when she heard the door open and someone enter. Soris, it had to be Soris; he was the only person in the whole keep who would enter her room without knocking or asking permission to enter. She felt him gently lift her head as he slid onto the couch beside her, laying her head gently in his lap. They were both quiet for a moment, Eriana staring at the fire as Soris ran his fingers through her hair. "So, bad news for the Wardens, huh?" Soris said, finally breaking their comfortable silence.

Eriana smiled, "Now what gave you that idea?"

"Maybe it was the fact that a casual conversation turned into a very serious looking conversation, which in turn became into a two-hour private meeting. A meeting that produced a bunch of dour looking Wardens, if I may say. So, what's going on?"

Eriana shook her head, "I wish I could tell you, Soris, but…"

"Nasty Warden secrets, got it. You'd tell me, but then you'd have to conscript me." He said with a smile as he continued to stroke her hair. "Mum's the word, then. All the more reason for me to head back to Denerim then, right?"

"Well, that's up to you, actually."

Soris raised an eyebrow and looked down at her, "Really, because two days ago you seemed quite set on sending me back to the alienage as soon as possible."

"I know, but I'm starting to reconsider that. Some very smart people pointed out the fact that you would, in fact, be quite safe here, and that it would be silly to send you away." She rolled over onto her back so she could look up at him. "So I thought I'd leave it up to you. I'd love to have you here Soris. I've missed you, and it's been good to be around family again. I know it would put Ada's mind at ease if you stayed here for a while; I'm sure he's been worried since he got my last letter, but I don't want you staying because it would make me or my father happy. If you stay, I want it to be because you want to be here, not because you feel like you have to. I mean if you're happy in Denerim…"

"I'm not," Soris said curtly. He ran a hand across the back of his neck. "In fact, I think half the reason Uncle Cyrion sent me here was to give me an excuse to get out of the city."

Eriana sat up and looked at her cousin. "What's happening in Denerim?"

"Nothing really, it's just everywhere I look, there is some reminder of how I've failed, of what I've lost. I mean, every time I walk past the gates to the market place, I remember how Shianni and I found you there nearly bleeding to death, and I can't help but feel like I failed you by allowing that noble shem to hurt you. Then there's, Valora. Everything reminds me of her and of the fact that I failed her as a husband. I mean, I let her get abducted from our wedding then she gets sold into slavery while I was locked away. Then there's Shianni, what I let that pig Vaughan do to her." He rubbed his eyes and looked down at her. "All the alienage is to me anymore is a blatent reminder of how I have failed, of everything that I've lost."

Eriana threw her arms around his neck, "Soris, you didn't fail me; you were always there for me. No one stood up for me the way you did, ever." He shook his head and tried to turn away, but Eriana took his face in her hands. "Soris if you hadn't come for me, I can't imagine the things Vaughan would have done to me. I heard the guards talking; he was saving me for last, said he had something special for me. You and Nelaros probably saved my life." She took his hand and look up into his tear-filled eyes. "You risked your life to save me and Shianni and Valora; you are my hero, Soris, you always have been."

"I just wish I could have done more for all of you."

"You did all you could, Soris; more than most would have." Eriana smiled up at him, "But, if you're still looking to help, I can think of one thing you can do for me. You can stay here and help me maintain my sanity."

"I'd like that," he said, pulling her in for a fierce hug. "Are you sure I won't be an inconvenience; I mean, I'll work and earn my keep."

Eriana rolled her eyes, "Maker's breath, Soris, I'm the arlessa; you don't have to do anything to earn your keep here. You're presence here is enough for me. Besides, keeping me sane will probably be a full time job," she said, laying back down on the couch and resting her head back on his lap.

"It always was," he said with a laugh.

Eriana looked up at her cousin with a laugh. "So you'll stay?"

Soris nodded, "I'll stay."

"Good," Eriana said, closing her eyes while Soris went back to stroking her hair. With all the questions and uncertainty in her life, it was good to have something certain she could depend on.

-0-

Sorry for the delay in the update. It's been a long, busy week. Hopefully, I'll be back in my normal routine this week. Thanks for hanging in there with me.

Special thanks to my reviewers, Kainen-no-Kitsune, Eva Galana, Danyal, Judy, and Warrose. And a thanks to those who added alerts and faves! Let me know what you think!