A/N: One of the big reasons for writing this fic is for me to try and understand how Severus became the cruel man he is in the books. One of the standout moments in canon for me was when he wanted to poison Neville's toad Trevor to make sure the potion was completed correctly. Snape fan or not, he is a sadistic bastard with many issues. You'll see that sparking up more and more, both to Lily's disappointment and his other friends' admiration. Also: In my old fic 1969 Tonic Affair there's a slightly similar dorm room scene, but I don't like how that one went—the way I wrote Lily back then was sexist and annoying. I'm not just trying to recycle old fanfic parts, btw—just revisiting and re-working some ideas from that one that I don't think went very well.
Also, you all rock- thanks for the reviews, favorites and alerts. More please. This was going to be longer but then it started getting WAY too long and I realized putting everything in it was not doable. The upside to this is that the next chapter is already partly written, so that should be out much sooner than usual.
Chapter Eighteen: Fat Slut
Year Five: October to December
"He's chasing tornados,
I'm just waiting calmly."
-Tori Amos, "Talula", Boys for Pele
"You're coming to the game this weekend, right?" asked Potter, who to Lily's chagrin had joined her in study hall and had begun to flex his arm muscles in front of her face. Lately he'd been so set on teasing her that he was becoming difficult to avoid. In the common room, he'd chat to her endlessly about his nightly plans. He tried to get her attention by doing spells and making loud noises. So much, in fact, that she'd had to give him several detentions already. In class, she shot him down as much as possible so that Severus would not be angry with her, although they still fought about Potter anyway. Severus seemed to think Lily would suddenly give into James the moment she left his sight, and annoyingly she'd spent more time convincing Severus she fancied him than actually doing anything physical with him. True, they had both been busy but Lily found herself wondering if dating was all it was cracked up to be. It was aggravating to have to pretend she wasn't with Severus, and though she was still worried what her friends would think, it would be nice to be able to talk about him to them. The only person she could talk about Severus with was Severus.
Lily lowered her face close to her Potions essay. "I'll probably be busy—"
"Busy doing what?" Potter wanted to know, grinning and bending over so he was leaning right next to her. Lily scooted over, ignoring him. "Blimey. At the rate you're going with that, you'll be done with one hundred pages in the next five minutes. You should teach me to write faster."
"I should, hm?" mused Lily aloud and continued to write. "You know I'm not really speaking to you right now. Not since that awful name you made up about Severus." She'd been mortified by it, since she'd known that Severus had been intercepted in the hallway after getting close with her in the library. Lily had spent all of last week praying that no one would put two and two together and realize she'd been the one to give him the erection. She'd tried to offer her empathy, but he pretended he didn't know what she was talking about. She knew it wasn't Severus' fault, but he always did manage to end up in the wrong place at the wrong time.
"Pfft. Not my fault he can't control himself. Besides, I didn't make it up. Sirius did," pouted Potter. "He's always inventing nicknames—"
"I thought you were," said Lily, glaring at him for a short moment before going back to her essay.
"Depends who asks," he said, grinning mischievously. "Anyway. You're speaking to me now, so why not agree to go to the game?" He did a sort of stretch, letting his bicep dangle in front of her. "Mary will be there—"
Lily snapped her binder shut. "Potter, if you don't get that arm out of my face I will blow it up."
"Prefects can't blow people up," Potter reminded her, imitating Professor McGonagall's nasally Scottish brogue. "Now when I entrusted you with those duties, Miss Evans, I thought I could count on you! Don't you dare touch Potter! He's my favorite student—"
"Like hell you're her favorite," Lily said.
Potter pretended to be alarmed. "Now Evans," he said, waggling a finger at her, "who taught you naughty words like that? Such a proper girl shouldn't use profanity."
Lily gathered up her belongings. "I'm not who you think I am, James Potter," she said crisply, and flounced out of the room. She heard him making a loud catcall as she left.
"He's terrible. For the hundredth time, will you tell him to stop?" Lily urged Mary that night in the dorm room.
"I told you, he's relentless," Mary shrugged.
Scarlet poked her head out of the canopy. "Do you think he'd go for me if I tried? I think he's quite sexy, actually—"
"No offense, but no. He's beyond helping right now," Mary told her flatly. "He wants Lily and that's that. I'm sure I could set you up with someone else, though—just give me time."
"What about Sirius?" Scarlet pressed. "He's also very good-looking—"
Mary shook her head violently. "No, Sirius is presently unavailable—"
"I thought he didn't date anyone seriously," Scarlet went on. "That's what I heard."
"NO!" Mary said loudly. "He's not interested!"
"Mary's saving him for later," said Lily seriously.
"So what's it like working side by side with Middleton?" asked Mulciber with a sneer as he shot an engorgement charm at Rosier's nose.
She blocked it by ducking and then singed his eyebrows off. "Don't make me think about him if I don't have to," she moaned, making a face. "Damn you, Mulciber. I was just starting to have fun. You have no idea how much he whines—"
"No idea?" chimed in Avery. "You forget we've been living in the same dorm with him for years—"
"Yes, well, mostly I just tell him I'm going to patrol the halls and then I hide in the trophy room," Rosier said. Severus glared at her. If he was a prefect, he'd never hide from his duties! He'd take them seriously. She seemed to feel his stare and she looked at the ground uncomfortably while Mulciber and Regulus practiced a spell that made blood come out of their ears. Rosier hadn't said one foul word against Severus since he'd made her cry, seemingly because she didn't want him to insult her again. He'd also noticed she'd been wearing a fair bit of makeup lately, which he supposed was a desperate attempt on her part to look better. Instead, she'd only succeeded in making herself look older, like someone's mother. Or father, thought Severus unkindly.
Severus was working in his Advanced Potion Making book, elaborating on some curses he was inventing. He wanted to find some hexes to really get Potter and Black back for humiliating him yet again, but he was still having a hard time working out the kinks. He'd thought up one (Levi corpus ) that would make the recipient dangle upside down, which he figured would be both useful for duels, and teach a lesson to idiots like Potter. He'd practiced it on Mulciber and all he could manage doing was knocking the boy off his feet, where he'd jerk up choppily as though being shaken by a large animal. He'd perfected Sectumsepra and he'd made up a few other small curses, in addition to learning more by checking out books from the library. Professor Devillose was extremely lazy and gave Severus a note for the Restricted Section whenever he pleased without asking any questions.
"Severus!" urged Regulus, "Come on! I want you to practice with me—"
"Only if you promise to actually try," responded Severus meanly, but as always, Regulus seemed to think he was funny rather than impolite. It seemed his sense of what was rude or not was tainted by having Sirius Black for an older brother. Severus supposed that the fact he'd never pulled a cruel prank on Regulus made it look like they were the best of mates.
Regulus pulled out his wand and shouted, "Immobilize!" but Severus blocked the curse and called out a spell that made Regulus begin to choke. Through coughing, Regulus covered Severus' arm in black scales, and Severus made an invisible hand slap Regulus in the face. Regulus ducked down behind a desk and shot a spell out that burned Severus' toes through his boots. The boys went on like this for several moments, the others cheering them on. Although he was an annoying pretty boy, Regulus had taken to dueling better than any of the others and was actually beginning to prove to be a worthy opponent. Severus wouldn't admit it, but he enjoyed spending time with Regulus despite his obnoxious habits.
"Sectum—"
Severus ducked down and shot a blast of white light at Regulus that knocked him off his feet. "Are you seriously trying to use my own spell against me?" Severus asked loudly, rolling his black eyes to the ceiling. "All right. Who's next?"
"Why is there a bruise on your cheek?" asked Lily in a whisper before the start of Potions.
Severus smirked. "Dueling," he said. "I ducked Mulciber's hex, but he still got me a bit."
Lily shook her head. "I don't like that he hurt you—"
"You don't understand," Severus said quickly. "I hurt him much, much worse!"
She gave him an indignant look and then opened up her textbook.
"I did," Severus whispered, thinking she didn't buy his story. "Besides, what he did to me didn't really even affect me. I didn't even notice it until Rosier pointed it out."
Lily clucked her tongue and turned back to her textbook, shaking her head again, as though he were a small child.
"Well, fine," said Severus, once again misinterpreting her reaction. "Don't believe me."
"What's with you and Sniv-er-Snape?" asked Mary, catching herself as Lily gave her a deathly expression. "Sorry. It's just—the nickname suits him so well—"
"I'm tired of nicknames!" Lily declared, though she cleared her throat nervously. "Besides, what do you mean what's with us? Same as usual. We study together."
Mary stared at her, half-heartedly playing with her curls. "Just asking. I don't notice you too talking too much, besides whispering to each other between classes. It looks kind of curious. Did you have a row?"
"No," said Lily instantly, pushing around her mushy peas on her plate and combining them with her helping of mashers. "Nothing of the sort. We're getting along fine. I mean. Not better than usual. Just fine."
"Ookay," said Mary slowly, cocking a perfectly tweezed black brow. "Just wondering. You just never talk about him anymore. Honestly, it's been nice not to have to fight you about him. I wondered if maybe you two weren't friends."
Lily forced a laugh. "We're friends… just… Not as much as we used to be. We're both rather busy." She pushed her plate of food away from her, trying to act relaxed.
"He writes in that stupid Advanced Potion Making book so much, it's annoying," Mary said scornfully. "He sits by me in Divinations and I want to kick him. He writes like this—" Mary bent over, imitating Severus' bad posture, "and it's like he's going to die, he writes so bloody fast! And then when he's written a sentence out, he strokes his chin-" Mary once again did an impression of Severus, furrowing her brow formidably and scowling—" and when he's done he slams it shut. Then he'll think of something else to add and he'll sigh and open it. Then he'll slam it shut. Over, and over, and over, and over again!"
Lily faked a laugh. "Interesting," she said absently, trying with all of her might not to look over at the Slytherin table, where Severus was surely reading from the very book Mary had just been referencing. "So, how are you doing with your boy drama? I haven't caught up with you in ages!"
"Oh, Lily," said Mary dramatically, grabbing Lily's arm. "It's outrageous how much you've missed! Gilderoy wrote me a poem that had another name in it! Isn't that awful? And when I called him out on it, he told me this lie about how he thought I'd make a better Georgette anyway. Can you believe it? Astrid can have him—that's what I thought at first, but then I found out through Muruvi who found out through Rosier that Astrid broke up with him last week. Apparently he's been cheating on her with lots of girls. I wasn't the only one. How foul is that? And all in the same summer! He's a lying arse, but he's terribly good looking. I told him to get lost. So, lately I've been hanging around the Quidditch pitch, trying to get closer to Patil. He's ever so beautiful. Have you seen how he flies? Oh, he's graceful! So graceful! Anyway, James says he fancies me, but you never know with James—he tends to put a positive spin on everything. And of course you know that Sirius is seeing Cleo Sparks. Ugh, I can't believe he's dating a Slytherin. But she's really just beautiful!"
Lily hadn't known that Sirius was seeing Cleo Sparks, but she hadn't noticed much of anything lately. Now that Mary mentioned it, she had definitelyseen Sirius snogging a very tall, elegant looking black girl last week as she'd made her rounds throughout the corridors but she'd been thinking about Severus so much it really hadn't registered. "So you aren't jealous?" Lily wanted to know, carefully testing out whether Mary was presently admitting to fancying Sirius or not.
"Of course I'm not," Mary replied quickly. "He's my friend. That's all. And besides, they look good together."
Lily had to hand it to Mary—she was an accomplished actress.
Mary smiled a bit too widely. "How about James?" she asked, as though inquiring about Lily's opinion on the weather.
"Don't," said Lily warningly. "Do me a favor, Mary, and tell him to quit laying it on so thick. Honestly, it's making things really difficult with S—" she stopped herself just in time, going crimson.
"With what?" asked Mary in an inquisitive fashion. "Making things difficult how?"
"Making… making things difficult with my schoolwork," Lily put in quickly. "He's always interrupting me, asking me for help, grabbing my quill, trying to mess me up. He's just a big bother."
Mary sighed theatrically and put her hand on her head. "He is being stupid. But you two would look gorgeous together. Even despite the height difference, which I know he's secretly self conscious about but I tell him not to be. Your red hair would look amazing contrasted with his black hair, and you both have nice noses, and you both have good fashion sense even if-"
"Mary!" Lily said loudly. "Shut up!"
"Oh my goodness," Mary said, not hearing Lily's request and directing her attention to the Slytherin table in front of them. "Now that is just outright awkward. Doesn't he have a proper bag?"
At once fearful of what Mary was looking at, Lily looked in the direction her friend was indicating. Sure enough, she was referring to Severus, who was leaving the table, carrying at least seven books in his arms. As usual, he was hunched over and looked ornery.
"James says he's seen him smoking fags," Mary babbled on. "I thought he smelled worse than usual and there you have it. I suppose he thinks it makes him cool."
Lily played with her blouse buttons uncomfortably, but her tone was bold. "Why would you say that? I've smoked before. Haven't you?"
"Well," Mary looked surprised and took a moment to answer. "Not really, but I'm not against it, I guess—"
"So exactly why does it matter if Severus smells like it or not?"
"Well, it's sort of a combination of body odor and smoke," Mary said evenly. "Not the best sort of scent—"
"Honestly, Mary," Lily said, her voice growing louder. "You and James should really re-consider dating again. You're practically the same person sometimes!" She wasn't sure why she was letting her friend's comments get to her, but it was sort of embarrassing. Lily didn't think Severus smelled that bad, but he definitely had an odor about him that was not soap or cologne.
Mary made a face. "Lily! Come on! Have a sense of humor. You have to admit that Snape is strange, if nothing else—"
"Can we just stop talking about him?" Lily burst out. "Honestly, everyone is always talking about him! You, Potter, Sirius, Remus—everyone!"
"He's amusing, though!" Mary said. "Have you seen the bruise on his face? James reckons he tried to put the moves on some poor girl and she defended herself. How funny is that?"
"You know, Mary, I love you. But the Snape stuff is getting so old. I'm tired of hearing about him," Lily replied curtly and stormed off. She was in such a bad mood that she yelled at three first years for skipping down the halls, and couldn't concentrate on her schoolwork at all.
"Where'd you get them?" Severus inquired, peering into Avery's backpack. Inside were two small owlets, dead and contained in a large jar.
"I found them in the owlery. They got kicked out of their nest by their brother. Then, I nicked the container from Slughorn," replied the red-haired boy, raising the jar up so that Severus could better look at the birds. The stiff chicks' beaks looked a bit twisted, and their bodies were mangled from the fall.
"Cool," said Severus enthusiastically. "I want to see them up close."
"You are," said Avery, chuckling as though he was a bit uncomfortable. He looked to Mulciber and Regulus, who were watching in interest.
"Why do you have those?" asked Regulus.
"We're going to practice a few things," said Mulciber off-handedly, looking at Avery and Snape. Rosier said nothing, her arms crossed tightly around her chest.
Snape leaned over Avery, grabbing for the container but Avery moved back. "What's your problem? Let me have the jar," Severus scoffed, and snatched it out of Avery's bag. "How are we supposed to do anything with them if you didn't give them to me?" commented Severus, staring through the jar's glass.
"I was going to give them up in a second, grabby," said Avery weakly.
"What exactly are we practicing?" asked Regulus, falling to Severus' side and tapping the glass of the jar, as though expecting the birds to move. Not surprisingly, they sat there, frozen and dead as ever.
"Snape said if one of us ever found something dead, we could use it," Mulciber replied.
"Use it for what?" asked Regulus.
"Shh," Rosier replied, finally coming forth to look at the owlets. "You ask too many questions—"
Severus looked at Regulus piercingly. "Think about it," he said. "We aren't able to practice a lot of really good spells because we can't seriously hurt each other without the chance of getting caught. It's obvious that animals are a good choice for practice. I read that cadavers are an appropriate way to start. For one, we can just say we found them around, and that they're going to good use."
"But you've practiced on live animals before, haven't you?" asked Rosier, surveying Severus with a sort of curiosity in her dark brown eyes. "You told us that when you made that bird explode—"
"Well, yes," Severus said. "I started out with spiders, and I've taken apart dead animals before. I've killed rabbits—that was easy," he added importantly. "I figured we could start simple. I wouldn't want to see you cry, Rosier." He sneered.
"Don't worry about me," she said calmly. "Worry about Avery—"
"Shut it," Avery said, flushing. Severus watched him and realized that he looked highly distressed.
"What the hell is the matter?" Severus asked, curling his lip.
"N-nothing," said Avery quickly. Regulus chuckled, and Mulciber slapped him on the back. "It's just—you know—I felt sort of bad for them. Look at them! They're crushed, practically. They can't be more than a few days old."
Severus stared at him hard. "You have got to be joking me. You felt sort of bad for them," he mocked smoothly. "They're dead, Avery. Dead. Not to mention, they're dead because they were too weak to survive." With that, he popped open the jar, and took one out with his bare hand. "Imagine if we practiced on one that was alive. I'd be afraid you'd break into tears. Take it," he urged.
Avery had set his jaw, and slowly moved his head from side to side. "I'll watch. Have Mulciber do it," he said, clearing his throat. "And I wouldn't break into tears—"
"Are you seriously afraid of touching this?" Severus taunted, enjoying himself. The baby owl felt feathery and stale in his palm. Its' beady eyes were open in a dull expression, and its gnarled feet were curled up. "What's the issue?"
"I have an owl as a pet!" Avery said. "I just felt like I shouldn't have taken them, but you said—"
"I'm fairly certain we all have owls," Snape replied coldly. "Take it."
"Take it," snorted Rosier, shoving Avery's shoulder. "Just because your favorite course is stupid Care of Magical Creatures—"
Severus snorted. "Only ignoramuses like that best—she's kidding, right?"
"Not—my—favorite!" Avery burst out, and grabbed the baby owl from Severus' outstretched hand. Avery's haste and Severus' grip combined was too much for the unfortunate remains. The little dead owl wrenched in half like a Christmas cracker. Avery stood open-mouthed while clutching the head and beak.
Still holding onto the body and legs, Severus took one look at Avery's horrified face and burst into panting laughter. Rosier cackled, Regulus hooted loudly and Mulciber grabbed out the other baby owl and pretended he was going to chase Avery around with it.
"I can't believe you're actually upset," drawled Mulciber at Avery, and Severus realized it was the first time that the two had publicly disagreed—not to mention, in Severus' favor. Avery very quickly snapped out of his babyish mood but it was clear that Severus had won the respect of the group.
"She never snogged me like that," Potter was saying to Sirius as Mary kissed Patil on the common room couch. Lily had been trying to study in the chair behind them, but they'd been narrating Mary's snog session for the past ten minutes. "I mean, just look—her tongue's shoved so far down his throat that it's almost out his ear!"
According to Mary, Patil was her sort-of boyfriend. She liked him enough and she felt like he fancied her, but what they were most interested in was the physical part of a relationship.
"Jealous, Prongsie?" Sirius asked playfully.
"Nope, I'm just impressed," Potter replied. "They haven't come up for air in ages!"
"Is that why you don't snog that way?" asked Sirius. "Are you a big fan of air?"
Potter nodded rapidly. "Huge fan. I'm very breathing-conscious. I don't like to get into any situation where I know I might not breathe. I completely avoid it—"
"So you're saying you never made out with her? I thought you bragged about snogging her all the time—"
"Oh, I wasn't lying," Potter said seriously, "but this here is not simply snogging. See, when I snog, I breathe. But this? This is like eating a very messy sandwich while underwater."
Patil paused in kissing Mary, his thick arm around her back. He turned toward the other boys. "D'ya think perhaps you might be able to shut up?"
"Yes, of course, mate. Not a worry. And I hope you aren't under the impression that I want to be in your position," Potter said quickly, as others in the common room giggled. "It's merely that I am happy for you—"
"Yes, but, could you stop commentating?" grinned Patil. "It's not a Quidditch game—"
"I imagine it's a fair bit soggier than a Quidditch game, even a Quidditch game on a rainy spring day," said Potter. The others laughed.
Mary leaned over Patil's chest. "James. Shut it," she said warningly, but she was smiling. Potter made kissing noises, and then he and Sirius ran out of the common room, hooting and laughing. Lily flipped her book shut, incensed. It seemed that no one else ever got as irritated with them as she did! She supposed their witty banter was often slightly humorous but they just didn't know when to shut up.
Lily paused, slightly horrified at herself for considering them humorous, even for a fleeting second. They were far from amusing. They were immature, insensitive bastards. Slightly unnerved, she directed her attention back to her book.
"Snivellus! How's the book?" called out Potter, passing Severus in the courtyard. The surrounding Gryffindors laughed, pausing to watch the interaction. "Not reading to your trousers today, I see!"
"Leave me alone," Severus snapped shortly and moved his book from his face, instantly standing to attention, his eyes calculating the scene around him. Black, Pettigrew, Lupin and Patil were with Potter. If he cursed Potter, he'd probably be doomed. Five to one did not sound promising. But then again, Lupin wouldn't do anything—he never did. Prefect or not, he hardly ever reported his friends for acting out. So he was neutral. Pettigrew was nothing more than a wet blanket—he didn't count either, except for the fact that he'd jeer Severus royally which was obnoxious. Black would act on Potter's defense, and Patil was popular enough that Severus figured he didn't care what he did. The odds were looking better: three to one was better than five to one. With his other hand, Severus withdrew his wand.
Lupin stepped back, no doubt wishing he couldn't see what was happening around him because it meant he had to act official. "Er—Snape, if you could put that back, it would be nice—"
"Shut up, Lupin," Severus snarled and advanced on Potter, waving his wand threateningly. "I'll curse the lot of you!"
"What's he going to do, I wonder? Get snot on us?" Potter asked lightly, and the boys burst anew into laughter, save for Lupin, who bit his lip.
"I MEAN IT!" shouted Severus desperately.
Patil laughed generously, showing straight, white teeth. "Snivellus, you're too funny—look, I know Black beat you up before—"
"I could kill all of you right now!" Severus affirmed, but his voice was shaking. Still, he was internally going through every spell he knew. He could get them—he could do it! If only—
"Levi corpus!" said a firm voice from behind them, and at once, Potter was dangling upside down, his glasses falling to the ground. Severus whipped around to see Regulus holding up his wand, an expression of intense loathing on his face.
"REG!" shouted Black. "You crazy fuck! What are you doing? Where'd you learn that?"
"Let him down! Please," Lupin said weakly, looking worried. "I'll have to write you up, Black—"
"Like you would," said Regulus slickly. "You're a spineless idiot, Lupin." He shot a spell at Potter, and immediately headed to Severus' side, looking dangerous. Severus stared at him in awe.
Potter fell to the ground in a heap, and sat up, looking amazed. "What was that?" he asked loudly, sounding more chipper than Severus would have liked. "Tell me, Regulus! That was brilliant!"
"It's nothing I've seen," Patil said. "Couple of freaks! No offense, Sirius—"
"None taken. I can't help being related to that monster," said Black icily.
"The only monsters I see around here will be sleeping in Gryffindor tower tonight. Let's get out of here," Regulus said after shooting his brother a dark look, and Severus followed him toward the castle.
"You used my spell," hissed Severus as soon as they were out of earshot.
"I know! I should have asked, but it was the first thing I thought of!" Regulus said fearfully.
"Not to mention, you were perfect at the execution," Severus went on, and Regulus' facial expression turned into one of triumph. "How'd you figure it out?"
"I've been practicing a lot!" Regulus said back in an excited whisper. "I wanted to show you, and then I saw those pricks surrounding you, and I thought—you know—what a good opportunity. Of course, Potter's too much of a prat to care much, but think of all the people we'll be able to curse with that spell! You're brilliant, Severus! You're really brilliant!"
Severus grinned crookedly despite himself. The boys slowed down and paused to talk outside of the greenhouses. "I just can't believe you got it down, and on Potter, too! Did you see your brother's face?" He lowered his voice again. "Now—no one can know it's mine. No way do I want to get in trouble for it, and besides, then someone might find out about my other ones. If a professor found out about the Sectumsempra—say, McGonagall for instance, I'd be in so much trouble—"
"Oh, of course," nodded Regulus seriously. "If anyone asks me, I'll just say I read it in some book. Or that whoever made it wants to remain anonymous, and goes to some other school. Maybe I met him on summer holiday, or something." They decided that was a good enough story.
During dueling club, the boys eagerly went into detail about what had occurred with the Gryffindors.
"I would have paid a lot of money to see Potter dangling upside down," said Rosier, leaning back in her chair with her dragon hide boots resting on the desk in front of her. "How far up in the air was he?"
"Far," said Severus excitedly. "When I made the spell, I really didn't even think about how to use it, but Regulus just ran in there and went right to it—"
"Well, I saw them around you, and I wasn't about to let them act like usual," said Regulus firmly, smoothing his glossy hair into a ponytail.
"I can't wait to test it out," said Mulciber.
"Think of all the people we'll be able to curse!" Regulus said again excitedly. "And not only that, but if we do it on girls with skirts, we'll be able to see their pants!"
Severus, Avery, Mulciber, and Regulus all beamed at each other, and burst into raucous laughter. Rosier made a slightly disapproving noise but laughed, too. For the second time in the past few days, Severus felt a strong sense of camaraderie with his Slytherin cohorts.
Mulciber had been approaching him a lot more lately, and for more than just homework help or spell advice. While Avery sat studying, Mulciber had begun to go to Severus for socialization which was odd, but welcome. Mulciber and Regulus would exchange which girls they found attractive, while Severus gave his opinion on them which was always negative. Although there were some good looking girls around, Severus was happy with Lily—though they didn't need to know that.
Regulus complained that his brother had landed a relationship with Cleopatra, and the next day he had set out to get himself an even "better looking" girl. In a move that could have resulted in a fight in any other social circle, he asked out Claudette Zabini, whom Severus recalled had been slightly involved with Mulciber the previous year. When Severus taunted him about it, Mulciber stuffily said he didn't care—he was too invested in a busty fourth year named Jade Spun. Avery tried to convince everyone he was too busy to care about girls, but Severus saw how much he still hung on Rosier. She told him several times a day to get out of her face. It was pathetic. She may have been an ugly girl, but it was almost worse that Avery liked her so much. Didn't he realize how pathetic it made him look?
Observing his two best mates get involved with girls was interesting for Severus. Although he couldn't divulge much about his own experience, he was able to compare. Regulus seemed to like Zabini. They held hands under the table in the Great Hall, and she came to his Quidditch games to root for Slytherin. It was only the first week of them being together, and Regulus gave her a silver pendant that she wore daily. It hung between her two dark coffee breasts and winked. Severus wondered if he was supposed to get Lily jewelry. He hoped not, because he certainly had no money to afford it. He could definitely do with more hand-holding though. He'd been having several fantasies during which Potter and Lupin walked in on him and Lily snogging.
Mulciber had other intentions. He bragged that Jade had let him snog her in the lavatory after classes had let out that Thursday. From the way he told it, she'd asked him if they could go out and he'd refused to answer, instead asking if he could feel her up. When she'd said she wasn't sure, he'd done it anyway. He said she had a great body, which Severus secretly agreed with but he wasn't about to say so. He wondered how Mulciber could be so confident, so sure about himself. Severus was slightly jealous. He hadn't felt Lily up since the Astronomy Tower, which felt so long ago and probably hadn't even been proper. Severus felt like his friends were way ahead of him, and it irritated him greatly.
"That stupid Levi corpus spell!" Lily said sulkily to Remus, after she'd had to help yet another student down out of the air. "Where did it come from? I swear, if I see one more person hanging upside down, I am going to scream!"
"It started yesterday," Remus replied, and tiredly pointed out a third year Hufflepuff who was dangling in the air. They performed the counter curse and moved on through the hallway. "Regulus did it on James, and then James wanted to learn it, so he spent all day practicing—I was trying to study and he kept propelling me up in the air. Let me tell you, it took him a great while to get it right. I kept sloshing ink all over my bed!" Remus' tone was light, but Lily had a hard time seeing the humor in it.
"Who started it?" Lily wondered. "I really, really don't see the point of it."
"Everyone thinks someone made it up, but they're keeping themselves anonymous to not get in trouble. Sirius reckons the point is to see girls' pants," Remus said with a smile, and then at Lily's annoyed expression, he gave a meek shrug. "I mean… that was just Sirius' opinion."
"If I get my hands on whoever made up that idiotic spell, I don't know what I'd do with him!" Lily said resentfully.
"…And so my entire week has basically revolved around helping people get out the air," Lily complained, gesticulating wildly.
Severus nodded slowly, trying to form an expression on his face of great concern. "Yes, it's terrible, isn't it?" he said conversationally. They had met up that morning with the excuse of working on their homework but it was almost noon and they hadn't done much of anything. The school was fairly deserted, as the third Quidditch game of the year was happening. It was Ravenclaw verses Slytherin, and although Severus had been asked to support his friends, he'd jumped on the opportunity to spend time with Lily.
It was hard to pretend he knew nothing about the Levi corpus spell. All week, he'd been tempted to admit he was responsible, as most of the student body was of the opinion that whoever had invented it was a genius. Even Lily had just admitted she was impressed with it only moments ago. However, Severus exercised control and did not take the credit. His friends knew the truth, which had been awesome enough. The past couple days, they'd gave him so much praise for the spell.
It had definitely taken Hogwarts by storm. The only problem was that several times, Potter and Black had tried to use it on Severus, but he'd been able to maneuver out of it. People had truly gone crazy with their love for it. Mulciber had asked Mary MacDonald whether she wore skimpy pants, and had tried to use it on her, but she'd reported him and he'd gotten detention. As a joke, Avery had done it to Rosier. Despite the fact that Rosier wore boxers under her skirt and thus had nothing to show, she had still kicked Avery in the groin. Everywhere you went, you could never be certain if someone was lurking around the corner, ready to curse you.
"I've drawn a blank," Lily admitted, tossing her quill down. "So, are all your roommates at the game?"
"Yes, they're quite obsessed," Severus responded, carefully crossing out a spelling error he'd found in his rough draft. "They've already planned a party for tonight based around Slytherin winning."
"Cocky," Lily said absentmindedly. "So no one's up in your room, then?"
"I don't think so," Severus said, continuing to correct his paper. "Why?"
"We haven't spent hardly any time together in weeks," she responded quietly. "All we've done is quarrel about Potter—"
"We haven't exactly quarreled," Severus said. "I just don't like how blatantly he flirts with you. And sometimes, you don't respond, which I guess is sort of a tactic to ignore him. But I wish you'd really just lash out at him sometimes. He bloody deserves it, and—"
"Severus!" Lily exclaimed, with a slight smile. She patted his leg, and he felt a pleasurable shiver go through his body. "See? All I want to do is have a nice conversation with you, and it always turns into one about Potter. And I hate talking about him."
"You do, do you?" asked Severus in a low voice, slowly taking her hand in his under the table.
"I hate it more than anything," Lily said. "Except maybe actually talking to Potter."
Severus laughed a little bit, and threaded his fingers through hers. "Understandable," he muttered silkily.
"I've been given pertinent information regarding the boys' dorm rooms," Lily went on, and let go of his hand. "According to a secret source, girls can go with boys into their rooms, just not the opposite."
"Well, sure," Severus nodded. "Rosier's been in my room to study before—"
"Rosier is another person I'd like to refrain from discussing," said Lily simply. "I'm wondering whether you'd like to bring this study session to your dorm."
"Why?" Severus asked. "All our stuff's here."
Lily gave him an impatient look and shook his shoulder. "Severus!" she declared. "I want to spend some time with you, alone, in your dorm!"
"Oh," Severus said stupidly. "Right. That sounds that something I'd be up for, though I wish I'd have thought to suggest it."
"Really, Sev, who cares? Let's go," Lily said cheerfully, but the truth was that Severus did care. As he gathered up his books and led the way to the Slytherin common room, he damned himself for not thinking of asking her to go down there with him. He supposed part of it was that it would be uncharted territory, and truthfully it made him nervous to think about having Lily in his dorm. He also was a bit worried that people would see them in there together. Still, his thoughts of kissing Lily trumped his fears and analyzation, and side by side they walked down the spiral staircase together.
Luckily, along with there being a Quidditch game, it was also a Hogsmede weekend and so the common room was wholly abandoned. Lily admired the way the skylights let in the rippling view from the lake, making the waves seem as though they were dancing on the black wooden floor.
"I didn't know Slytherin's common room was so far beneath the school," she commented, gazing up at the dark green water that rolled across the ceiling's windows.
"Lucius told me that it's one of the only parts of the school that's been updated. You can imagine how dark it would be otherwise," Severus put in. He worried that his idle chitchat probably meant nothing to Lily, but she seemed truly interested which was always one of the things he really liked about her. He led the way down the other set of stairs toward the dormitories, musing on how strange it was to have her in his environment. It seemed like so long ago when he'd wished she had been a Slytherin with him and now the feeling struck him again, seeing how striking her red hair looked against the green walls. When they reached his dorm room and he opened the door (first making certain it truly was emptied of all residents), he realized how messy his bed and living area was. Strangely, it was the first time he'd ever cared about that sort of thing, particularly around Lily who he used to be certain didn't mind things like that. But now from across the room, he could see his dirty clothing in a pile on the floor, his schoolbooks thrown every which-way, and his rumpled bed sheets.
Severus uncomfortably followed behind her, and sat down on the edge of his bed as she surveyed the room. She half-smiled as she looked at all of the junk on his floor but said nothing, instead sitting next to him on the bed.
"Nice room," she said, and he looked at her suspiciously.
"Right," he said sarcastically. "You can tell the truth."
"Your pants on the floor is a nice touch," she commented, and Severus sprang up, his face hot. He kicked his laundry under the bed, muttering curse words.
"Oh, calm down," Lily grinned, rolling her eyes and pulling him by the arm back onto the bed. "I'm just being stupid—"
"It makes me feel stupid," he said roughly, "I don't want you seeing them!"
Lily crossed her arms and shrugged. "All right. Be angry. It's all you seem to be good at lately."
"Don't," Severus urged, "I'm not angry—just, honestly, I didn't want you seeing my underpants. Can we leave it at that? Please?" She continued to frown and he cautiously put an arm around her. "Please?"
"Sure. But only because you asked so nicely," said Lily teasingly. "So what do we do if your horrid roommates burst in on us?"
"They're not horrid," Severus replied. "But that's a good point. We should probably pull the canopy over. And if we hear anybody, we'll just shut up." Half of him was worried someone would come in, but surprisingly, the other half was interested in what the other boys would think. Certainly, his fears about people knowing he was interested in a Mudblood would be realized—but wouldn't the boys be jealous? After all, they thought she was attractive either way. Rosier even commented that Lily had nice eyes (though she had followed that observance up with a comment about how Lily's thighs were enormous). Severus figured his back-up plan would be to just say he was interested in Lily for the physical aspects of her. How could they blame him?
"What are you thinking about?" she asked, snapping him out of his thoughts.
Shit, he thought, quickly trying to decide what to say. Looking at her full lips and her expectant, wide eyes, he stopped thinking about words and decided he very much wanted to kiss her instead. If he didn't do it now, she'd end up making the move eventually, and then he'd feel like a right idiot for always moving so slowly. They'd snogged enough times that he was starting to feel a bit more comfortable with the idea of beginning first, although it still made him slightly tense. Severus tightened his grip on her shoulder, rubbing her there with the palm of his hand. He leaned into her, kissing her lightly on the mouth, first fully on the lips, and then tugging at her bottom lip with his teeth.
Lily moaned into his mouth, and at once wrapped her arm around his waist, pulling her legs up onto his bed and sitting in a kneeling position. She leaned against him, pressing her other hand to his chest and kissing him more deeply. He threaded his fingers through her thick, soft hair and grunted pleasurably. When he brought his hands down slowly, he felt his fingers running over her smooth neck, her arms, her waist and the curve of her hips.
"Oh!" Lily said aloud, and kept kissing him. He felt her body tremble and he grinned triumphantly at this reaction to his touch. Trying to gauge what had made her react that way, he ran his fingers back over her, starting with her thighs. Lily nodded against him, and, with his heart pounding like a drum, he slowly brought both his hands to either side of her hips. He touched her hips lightly with his fingertips, trailing his touch to her behind where he cupped it with both hands through her skirt. "We should… close… the curtain…" Lily muttered into his neck, and immediately he complied, drawing the canopy shut. They were enveloped in dim darkness but, adjusting to the change in lighting, he focused on her eyes. Severus swung his legs onto the bed, mimicking her position. From stance, she had to look up at him to kiss him and he stared down into her bright green eyes, feeling a shiver run up his spine. He wasn't quite sure exactly what he was doing, but he figured he'd best do something since she was looking at him so eagerly.
As he snogged her, his mind went off to other places. He had been so envious of his friends' carelessness around their female crushes. By this week, Mulciber had bragged that Jade had wanked him off, and they hadn't even become a couple! Regulus was always cool around girls. Plus, Severus had to endure watching Sirius Black snog the gorgeous Cleo in nearly every hallway at school. It seemed that everywhere, every bloke was getting farther than he was and he'd been with Lily longer. Much longer if you counted all the years leading up to this. It was helpful that no one knew he had a girlfriend—they'd probably find him pathetic, what with how slow he was moving and with how bitter he'd been about Lily's interactions with Potter. A smoother person like Sirius Black probably wouldn't give a care whether his girlfriend had an admirer.
Desperate to prove his internal thoughts wrong, Severus brought his lips to her neck as that was what he had gathered she liked, cupping her bottom with his hands again. His black hair hung over his face like a hood, eyes dark and watching intently as Lily bit her lip and raised her chin up involuntarily. "Yes, that," she muttered, nodding again, her hair shaking gently with the movement of her head. She closed her eyes as he began to use his teeth. He was gentle at first, and then began to bite her a bit harder, sucking on her neck deeply. Lily moaned sharply, then quickly grabbed his face in between her hands. She kissed him hard on the lips, causing him to get a bit breathless. Lily let her tongue in between his lips and she teased his own tongue, touching it lightly with hers and then removing it from his mouth. She planted a kiss on the side of his face, and breathed in his ear. Severus gritted his teeth pleasurably, liking this set-up much better than leaning against a wall outside in Knockturn Alley. Here, it was his territory and it was comfortable. It didn't make him much less nervous though—his heart was pounding and his body was shaking slightly.
"Christ," he said, breathing shallowly. He spread his legs out in front of him and Lily followed his lead, inclining back onto the bed. Severus adjusted himself through his trousers. "What do you—" he paused, trying to think of how to put it. "What do you want to do?" he asked.
Lily had moved to an upward angle, reclining against his pillows. "I like kissing you," she said simply. "But I thought maybe you might… you know?"
"You'll have to be more instructive," he advised gravely.
She giggled lightly, and shrugged her shoulders. He wondered if she was nervous, too or whether she was laughing at him. She was usually so self-assured that it would surprise him if she was anxious. "I liked when you were putting your hands on me," she said. "You remember, on the Astronomy Tower?" She stopped talking again, and it may have been a trick of the dim lighting but he could have sworn he saw her blushing.
"Oh. Yes, I do," he said, trying to sound casual but the truth was, excitement and terror plagued him at once. He'd very much wanted to explore that experience again, particularly alone and with less clothing. But now that she'd suggested it, he wondered if he'd be able to do it. However, his want for her outweighed logic, a rare occurrence for him. On his hands and knees, he moved toward her on the bed, examining her body in front of him. Her red hair was splayed out on his pillow and her legs were pressed together, skirt tugged up just a bit higher than her knee. She was watching him in great interest. Severus wished she'd look away—it certainly put a lot of pressure on him. He sat on the side of her, stretching out so they were lying next to each other, his left leg against her right. Lily turned to face him and he touched his fingers to her lip, her neck, lower, lower, grazing her chest and letting his hand fall upon her right breast.
Lily pursed her lips and breathed out slowly, closing her eyes and scooting closer to him. Slowly, Severus began to massage her breast, staring into her face. Soon, he began to touch her breasts with both hands. At first he moved carefully but as he felt her through her thin sweater with his fingers he began to move more quickly, rubbing and pressing down on her bosoms with his fingers and palms. Lily kept her eyes closed and bit her lip, breathing in and out softly. He massaged her boobs in a quickened rhythm, feeling how her nipples hardened under his touch and moaning throatily in pleasure. Her breasts were soft and so large that he couldn't cup all of the flesh in his hands. Licking his dry lips, he scooped her breast in his hands and stroked her nipples through her shirt.
Lily's almond-shaped eyes fluttered open, and she leaned into him even more. She pushed her waist against his and wrapped her arm around his back, planting a firm kiss on his thin mouth. He kissed her back, tweaking her nipples and she pressed her hips against him, so hard he could feel that place between her legs against his fully grown member.
"Blimey," he said aloud appreciatively and though Lily's face reddened in the dark, she grinned at him in a mischievous fashion. There was nowhere else he'd rather be then right there with her.
"You're hard down there," Lily said pointedly, excited both by his touch and her own forwardness. It had taken her a moment to feel comfortable in Severus' bed. The sheets and pillows were in complete disarray, not to mention the way his dresser looked. Horrifying looking plants, several tea cups, and books were scattered everywhere. Ink had spilled on his bedside table and he had not cared to clean it up. His clothes were tossed on the floor, including socks that were dirtier than Lily cared to dwell on. She supposed she'd seen his room when they were much younger, but it had been more sparse than sloppy. Then again, he wasn't known around school for his clean scent and good sense of style. She hated herself for thinking about these things but it was so unlike her personal way of being, and thus she wasn't used to it. Still, as soon as they'd begun their heavy petting, Lily had all but forgotten Severus' severely dirty living space.
"Yes," he said, and she had the distinct feeling he was embarrassed. "What of it?"
"Don't be so sour," she said in a low voice. "I think it's interesting that you are—"
"Well, what's so interesting about it?" he asked, falling to her side and staring up at the top of his canopy. Lily sighed, a bit frustrated. Severus was so moody lately that everything seemed to set him off. She was merely eager that she'd given him an erection and was wondering whether that meant he wanted to have sex with her. She didn't know exactly what she would do if he wanted to, and she wasn't quite sure whether she wanted to—but she figured she did, if it was anything like snogging. It was getting a little irritating that he was so sensitive about these things, though.
After all, Mary and Patil had only been seeing each other a few weeks and they'd already touched each other without their clothes on. Lily, Muruvi, Scarlet and Alice (who had been hanging around them a lot more, given that her dorm mates were "completely silly") had asked Mary to report to them in great detail and that she had. Mary had described how Patil had swatted her behind with his essay for Potions and had whispered in her ear if she wanted to go up with him to his room. Once they were up there he'd pulled her against his dresser and snogged her all over her mouth and neck. "Obviously he's had a lot more practice than James," Mary had said wisely. After that, they'd kissed for a long amount of time and he'd pulled off her skirt and kissed her around her belly button and all the way down her legs. "I almost orgasmed right there! He was so good," Mary had said, as Lily and the other girls listened with baited breath. According to Mary, she'd stuck her hands down his y-fronts and felt his erection. Then they'd both taken off all their clothes and snogged for even longer. "He's got a great body. All that working out, I reckon," she'd said smugly.
Right now, Lily couldn't help but wish that Severus was a bit more like Patil. It wasn't that Lily minded making moves on him—it was the awkward way he seemed somewhere between really liking her and being humiliated by their physical interactions. She wanted to be able to ask him sexual questions, to trust him with her most private secrets… He was so closed-off sometimes, and now even more than usual.
"What?" Severus urged from her side, snapping her out of her wishful thoughts. "What are you thinking about?" He nudged her slightly with his bony elbow and she sighed again.
"It's nothing," she replied, trying to sound positive while feeling disappointed. She sat up, flinging her hair back and smoothing it with her hands. "Maybe I'd better leave. I wouldn't want Vincent Mulciber walking in on us—"
"What does he have to do with any of it?" asked Severus grouchily, mimicking her and sitting up on the bed. She couldn't help but stare at his now obvious erection, a stiff bulge poking hard against the front of his too-small black trousers.
She quickly looked away, pulling her thin sweater down over her back and stomach. "Nothing," she repeated. "I'm just thinking we'd better end this since everyone will no doubt be back soon." She scooted across the bed, but Severus grabbed her by the arm.
"Don't go," he said urgently. "I didn't mean to ruin things—"
"You didn't ruin things," she replied crisply. "I just wish you weren't so serious about things all the time. I'm not trying to humiliate you—"
"Just so you know, it's still weird to have you notice I'm hard," Severus replied, closing his eyes as though he didn't want to have to look at her while talking. "I don't want to be humiliated—but there you have it…"
"I wish you'd be more comfortable with me," Lily said softly, and he released her arm.
"I'm more comfortable with you than anyone else," Severus said solemnly.
The weightiness of his tone combined with his intense black gazing eyes made Lily's face go red. "Well," she said cheerfully, "I'm off." With that, she pecked a kiss on his cheek, put her shoes on and left the Slytherin dungeon. She kept her hood over her face the entire time and successfully dodged Rosier and Middleton who were heading back to the common area.
"I gagged. I can't believe I gagged!" Mary said mournfully the next morning at breakfast.
Lily, who had been smiling at Severus across the Great Hall, broke his eye contact and looked at her friend dubiously. "Er… what are you on about? We've only just started breakfast and I haven't heard you gag once—"
"No, Lily. I gagged," said Mary a bit louder and then made a gesture that caused Lily to raise her eyebrows in alarm.
"What are you doing?" Lily asked just as loudly, and Mary shook her shoulder.
"Not so loud!" she said, but didn't adjust her own volume. "Just look at them—they probably all know! Sirius probably knows! And you know what a big mouth James has, he can't keep any secrets even if he really tries!"
Lily looked at the boys, who were sitting a bit further down the table. James appeared to be making a tower out of toast and Patil was jostling Sirius. "Whatever it is you're talking about, I don't think any of them care."
"Lily, I gagged on his dick last night."
Both alarmed and intrigued, Lily scooted closer to her friend. "You mean you gave him—"
"A blow job, yes," Mary nodded.
"And you—"
"Gagged, yes," Mary nodded again.
"Is that… er… is that a serious problem?" Lily wanted to know.
Mary frowned. "I don't know if it's a serious problem exactly, but I don't think it looks very cool. I couldn't help it. You know, surprisingly, it wasn't too long but it was really thick—"
"How was it otherwise?" asked Lily, interested. Across the room, Severus was talking to Regulus and spooning porridge on his toast. As Mary went on into Lily's ear, Lily felt her eyes wondering over again and again to the Slytherin table. She'd been feeling awfully unsatisfied after the make-out session with Severus the day before. She wished they'd have gone farther. This just made her even more depressed.
"It was pretty good," Mary replied quietly, "though really unexpected. He just pulled down his trousers and there it was! And I figured, I'd better give it a go, right? It would have been all right if hadn't have jammed it in my throat the way he did—"
"Oh my," Alice said merrily, slipping in beside Mary. "What did I just walk into?'
"Mary gave Patil a blow job," Lily said, grinning at Mary devilishly.
"And to think I didn't even finish my Charms homework last night," said Alice thoughtfully.
Scarlet and Muruvi leaned in from across the table. "How was it?" Scarlet asked, winking.
"Hot," Mary replied. "He's got a gorgeous body."
"How did you even know what to do?" asked Muruvi quietly, her large eyes completely locked into Mary.
Mary shrugged. "Easy. Muggle magazines and books," she replied. "It pays to be a halfblood, you know!" The girls laughed. Lily begged to differ—being raised Muggle hadn't gotten her or Severus very far.
"The women are certainly all abuzz this morning," Potter said loudly as he, Sirius, Peter and Remus filed past. "Could it be that they noticed how good my biceps are looking?" He waggled his eyebrows and flexed. Lily groaned.
"Get lost, James," Mary laughed, "We're all tired of your muscles—"
"I suppose Patil's muscles are looking pretty good to you these days, though. Right, Mary?" asked Sirius with a wry grin.
Mary leaned over her plate of toast in what Lily figured was her idea of a sexy manner. "No better than usual," she answered coolly. "I can see you've been working out, too."
"Not exactly. I'm just naturally like this," joked Sirius, winked, and then hurried off to join the others.
"What are you doing?" Lily asked. "I thought you liked Patil—"
"He's not my real boyfriend. He's my sort-of boyfriend. Besides, Sirius looks extra good today, don't you think?" Mary said, gazing off at Sirius' backside shamelessly.
The fact that Mary was getting more attention from her sort-of boyfriend and her not-even boyfriend had Lily wondering what exactly she and Severus were even doing.
"You're getting a little chop-happy there," said Lily in Potions, where she and Severus had been set up as partners. It was the most they'd interacted in class for quite awhile, being that neither of them wanted to be found out by their classmates. Severus felt like his friends were constantly watching him with Lily, but he knew he was being paranoid.
He paused in cutting up the pieces of bat body parts that were to be bottled and used in potions for the storeroom. "I'm just doing what I was told," he responded, and continued dicing up the body, peeling away the skin and discarding it.
Lily laughed a little bit, though she didn't seem amused. "You're butchering it, though," she said.
"I don't get your point," Severus replied. "It's dead, isn't it?"
Lily gave him a look he didn't quite understand, and then said nothing else for the rest of the lesson.
Dear Severus,
I hope the school year is going well. Lucius mentioned to me that you were quite upset at not being named Prefect. It is not any of my business, but if I were you I'd be meeting with Dumbledore over it. He has some odd ideas about who to reward and who to punish. I hope it has not gotten you down.
I write to you to invite you to my gathering, which will happen in late December. There will be refreshments and more information about the plans I have for the future of the Death Eaters Association. I would also like to make sure everyone is ready and wholly willing to participate. I have seen no issues with you, but some of the others may not quite make the cut.
Hoping this letter finds you well,
T. M. Riddle
"You're doomed," Mary said with a casual air about her tone.
Severus stared at her darkly from across their table in Divinations. "What do you mean, doomed?"
"It's all here," Mary replied, and spread out her Tarot cards. "You've faced serious pain, it says. There's not much happiness here. At all. You're going to have to make a difficult decision. You'll have a task that will end up leading to your death—"
Severus scowled at her and slapped his own Tarot deck to the desk. "You're only saying this because you hate me. You wouldn't shut up about having to be my partner. If this is your way of protesting that, then I suggest you attempt to find a better tactic. This is stupid."
"Snape, I'm not thrilled about us working together on this. And it's obvious you feel the same. But I'm great at Tarot cards. My mother taught me," she explained in a strained voice.
"I don't care about your mother," he said rudely. "Just tell me what it really says and let's be done with it—"
"It's exactly as I said!" Mary pressed, and pointed at each card in turn. "I mean, you could interpret them differently, but I think I've got it. I feel it, you know? I'm good at this."
"You're not good at shit," grumbled Severus under his breath. "So, what does this one mean, then?" he responded, pointing to The Lovers.
"From my reading, you're going to have a romance at some point. Surprisingly enough," she said.
Severus sneered at her.
"And," she went on, "it's going to end with one of you making a choice. Possibly she chooses someone else? Or there's some sort of dramatic situation. Something horrible—I'm getting a feeling that it's going to be very sad. And then, it's all going to end in a most terrible and depressing tragedy."
"Fuck you, MacDonald. You are such an idiot," said Severus bitterly.
"Don't blame me! The cards said it all. Anyway, what do mine say about me?" Mary asked.
Severus threw the cards he had selected at Mary's face. Professor Zabini took five points away from Slytherin for his "immaturity", but it was worth it.
"Gotten a bit pudgy since last year, haven't you?"
"Stop it, Mulciber."
"What are they feeding you at home, I wonder? Oink oink!" There was a great burst of laughter from both male and female voices.
Lily rounded the corner, her cheeks already flushed with anger. She found herself standing in front of Mulciber, Avery, Rosier who were surrounding Alice. To her irritation, Severus was standing behind the group of Slytherins, laughing right along with them. "What's going on here?" she barked, pointing at her Prefect badge and glowering.
"Ooh, fun's over. Evans is here," Rosier said snarkily. Severus stopped laughing and stared at the ground, looking uncomfortable. Good, thought Lily fleetingly, I hope he is. I'll have to talk to him later. There's no way I'm going to be stupid and make it obvious we're seeing each other. Instead, she focused her resentment on Rosier.
"You should know better, Evan. You're a Prefect, too! What would you say if I went to Dumbledore about you bullying other students?" Lily snapped.
"Since when did we get on a first name basis?" Rosier asked, stepping toward Lily and flipping her long dark bangs out of her face. "I don't associate with Mudbloods—"
"Oy!" Alice said walking toward Rosier, shaking her head. "That's not necessary—that's bad manners, that is—"
"Says the cow," said Rosier. Mulciber and Avery burst anew into laughter. Severus stared at the floor.
"That's it. I'm speaking to Dumbledore. I'm not going to put up with your bullying any longer. And Alice is no cow. She's better than you, Rosier—"
"You're not all that small yourself, Evans. How big are your legs anyway? They're like tree trunks," replied Rosier. "Go ahead. Report me to Dumbledore. My mother and father will set him straight, though. My father was head boy—"
"Go eat some sweets," Alice responded lightly. "You need it. Not only because you look malnourished but it would stop you from talking."
Setting her eyes on Severus and glaring at him dangerously, Lily followed Alice down the hallway and away from the Slytherins.
"I can't believe you tattled to Dumbledore!" Severus burst out as soon as he found Lily on the train. The incident with Alice and Rosier had happened earlier that week, and Lily hadn't spoken to him for days. It was finally time for Christmas break and he'd tracked her down, amazingly alone, in a compartment in the back of the Hogwarts Express.
But Lily did not seem willing to converse with him. "Someone's going to see you," she said icily, turning away to look out the window. "You should get out of here."
Instead, Severus went inside and closed the compartment door. "Muffliato," he said, waving his wand. He pulled the screen over the window.
"What are you doing?" snapped Lily, sounding irritated. She turned around to glance at him and then turned back to the wall.
"I made it up," Severus offered. "No one will be able to hear what we're saying. It fills the air with buzzing so they can't—"
"Great," said Lily tersely. "A real smarty-pants, are you?"
"Yeah," he replied with an edge to his voice. "That's not all I've—"
"Look," she interrupted, swinging around to face him once more. "I don't like what you're doing. Don't try to make small talk to distract me!"
"Don't like what I'm doing? What exactly am I doing?"
"You know!" she said, sounding exasperated. "Accusing me of tattling? I'm a Prefect! Or maybe you forgot!"
"How could I forget? You're on about how great and important you are all the time," he shot back. "Always running around on your duties. I'm surprised I've even seen you once this year! In fact, this is quite a treat," he said rudely.
"Oh please," Lily said indignantly. "You heard your little friends! They're mean, Severus!"
He stared at her, trying to think of how to respond. It was true that he'd felt bad Rosier called her a Mudblood. But he didn't care but for Alice, and she did have quite a round face and a chubby waist. She wasn't bad looking, necessarily, but she definitely wasn't thin. He supposed he shouldn't have been laughing along with the others, but then again, why not? Alice had never done much to impress him, and the way Rosier and Mulciber were insulting her was funny.
"What?" snapped Lily. "What are you thinking about?"
"Just… I think you're overreacting. I mean, I don't like how Rosier talked to you, but you should just ignore her, Lily."
"Ignore Potter, then. Ignore Sirius," said Lily, her eyes becoming slits.
"That is not the same," argued Severus. "I'm not any of the things they say. At least my friends were telling the truth—"
"So you think I'm a Mudblood," Lily said.
"Well… You're Muggle-born, but I wouldn't call you a Mudblood," he replied quickly.
"You do say it, then!" she said loudly. "Right there. You said it—"
"That's a trick," he argued. "You said it, too—"
Lily rolled her eyes. "Like I'd try and trick you. Don't be stupid—"
"So you can call me stupid, but I can't call you a Mudblood? Oh, that's nice," he said unkindly.
Lily's mouth dropped open. "If you want to call me one, go ahead."
He shook his head, frowning. "That isn't what I meant. And you know it—"
"Severus, whatever you think you're doing… it's not funny and I don't like it!" Lily said, standing up.
"I'm not doinganything," he said. "You're the one who won't listen to me when I try to explain myself—"
"Try to explain how you were laughing at my friend and calling her fat?" Lily squawked. She looked almost angrier than he'd ever seen, but he couldn't fully compare.
"I wasn't calling her fat. Even though she sort of is—"
"Severus. Get out of here. I don't want to speak to you right now." Lily put her hands on her hips and glared at him.
Severus looked at her in shock. "Don't speak to me like that! I'm trying to—I'm trying to apologize—"
"It doesn't sound like it," she said. "It sounds like you're arguing your case—"
"Won't you listen to me?" he yowled, gritting his teeth. "You haven't spoken to me forever! You're punishing me! Your housemates curse me, and tell me I'm going to have a premature death, and you don't even know because you don't even care!"
"You sound like a baby," Lily snarled. "And anyway, what are you even blabbering about? Your premature death?"
Severus' face became discolored, due to both frustration and mortification. "Your slag of a friend MacDonald predicted all sorts of unpleasant things for me during Divinations, and—"
"She's not a slag!" shouted Lily, her face bright red. She was directly in front of Severus now, and though she was level with his chin, she was still a force to be reckoned with. "How dare you… how dare you talk about my friends that way!"
"Right, and it's okay for you to call my friends disgusting, and horrid, and cruel?"
"BECAUSE THEY ARE!" Lily screeched. "When are you going to realize that? Do you think they're cool because they're from rich Pureblood families? Does it help you with your delusional fantasy that you're a Pureblood, too? You're not rich! And you're not a Pureblood! I have news for you, Severus—you're a Halfblood. You. Are. A. Halfblood, and you're not like them!"
Although Severus knew what he was, the words still stung as though she had slapped him across the face. "I know who I am," he said quietly. "And I don't hang around them because of that!"
"You don't know who you are. You haven't seen your parents in ages! Heading to Lucius Malfoy's every chance you get—it's not doing you any good!" Lily asserted, not backing down. "When you come back, you're not you!"
"That's none of your business, Lily. What do you know about Lucius? He's brilliant, he's done a lot for me—"
"More like his father's given you gifts," she said loftily.
"You don't know about it!" Severus shouted in her face. "You don't know anything about it!"
Lily stepped back a pace, her dark red hair hanging in front of her face as she stared at the floor. "You're right. I don't. But I don't like how you're acting. Calling people names, acting weird in class—"
"Nothing's different," Severus said roughly. "And I was going to say sorry for the other day, but now I'm not."
"Fine," she retorted. "Get out of here, Severus. Don't try talking to me when we get back to Cokeworth. When I want to speak to you, I'll get in touch—"
"What?" he asked desperately, throwing up his hands. "You have to talk to me! We have to work this out!"
"I'm mad at you," she said simply. "I want you out of here so I can think. And just for the record, I don't have to do anything."
Severus breathed in and out, fuming. He felt crushed. Not only was Lily mad at him (which was a horrifying occurrence that he dreaded deeply), but she had insulted him. "All right. Fine!" he declared, and slid open the compartment door so hard that it slammed against the other side of the door jam. In the hallway of the train stood Mary MacDonald, Potter, Black, Pettigrew, Patil and Lupin. They were all staring at him.
"Uhm… Not to pry but what were you doing in there, Snivellus?" Potter nearly hollered, rumpling his hair.
"NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!" Severus screamed at him, balling his fists. Patil, Potter and Black laughed loudly.
"Lily…" Remus said quietly, looking from Severus to her with an inquisitive expression. "Is everything okay?"
"Of course it is, you stupid ass," said Severus testily. "I was just—"
"He was just leaving is what he was doing," Lily said rapidly. "He was trying to pester me about how I got Rosier in trouble last week and I told him off."
Potter applauded in Severus' face. "Bravo, Evans. Give him what he deserves!"
Severus looked at Lily with a wounded expression. She met his eyes, and for an instant, he saw a sad look there. Then she resumed glaring. He swooped past the boys and stormed down the aisle to find his Slytherin friends. Black tripped him on his way out, and he fell to the floor, cursing out loud. Students around them laughed heartily.
Everyone piled into the compartment. Mary sat on Patil's lap, Peter took out his gobstones set and tried to toss the pieces down Potter's robes, Sirius drooped himself over an entire seat and stared at Mary, and Remus and Potter sat on either side of Lily.
"Old Snivellus has a crush on you," Potter said, cracking his knuckles. "But don't worry. I can act as a buffer between you two. If he won't get lost, I'll just curse him every time he's near you and psychologically force him to experience pain whenever he sees you, Evans." He grinned cheekily.
"Could you give me some space?" Lily urged, scooting nearer to Remus. "And he doesn't have a crush on me."
"Like he was actually mad at you for tattling. Snape doesn't have any emotions, not even for his friends. I've seen him scream at them as much as anyone else. I'll bet if you opened up his chest, there'd be a big black charred hole where a heart's supposed to go," James went on, putting his feet up on the window sill.
Lily felt her insides drop. "Don't be mean—"
"Don't be mean," imitated James in a high voice. "Me? Mean? Right. You were just face to face with the worst person in school, and you think I'm mean. You're deranged—"
"Prongs. Shove it," Sirius said casually. Surprisingly, James complied. Lily mouthed a silent thank you to Sirius, who nodded at her, his smooth hair moving to and fro with his head.
Remus bent into Lily, and patted her shoulder. "Are you all right?" he asked softly.
His kindness made Lily feel worse. "Of course," she said falsely. "Why wouldn't I be?"
AN: Thanks for waiting on this chapter. What did you think? Let me know. Oh, and be sure to look out for the next one.