Chapter Seven: Doubt Me

[Please excuse the shortness of this chapter…I'm slowly getting back into the rhythm of writing again]

Hours became days. Days drifted into nights

Lei never left his quarters during the seventy-seven hour seclusion period. He felt useless. Unworthy. Everything had gone from unfavorable to favorable to miserable in a matter of moments. What he thought he wanted…Zato…the promotion,….he received them both. But he did not want it now.

Not like this. Not this way.

Everything had been planned in his mind—mapped to perfection. He had played this wonderful fantasy countless times in his mind before it actually happened. He often visualized Zato attacking him from the darkness…engulfing him in that deadly, beautiful, angelic light. And then he would ground the master with a glorious combination of perfectly placed blows to the midsection. The master would cough and groggily stand…and then Lei would end it all in a blinding flurry of blows. And when Zato fell, he would fall into his arms, and he would care for him..and soothe his wound with words made of silk and admiration. And Zato would…..Master Zato would…

He would love me…but now….now he…

-

Zato impatiently paced along the marble floors of the recruitment hall. Elite members stood nearby, statuesque in duty and fear, their eyes slowly shifting toward the master ever-so-often, discreetly. Zato's brow furrowed strikingly as the white wisps around him curled and fluttered into thin threads, seeming to express the same frustration. Venom stood nearby, leaning against the stairwell, watching silently as Zato silently pulsed with aggravation.

"Where is he?" Zato growled gently, finally splitting the silent air. Venom rolled his shoulders gently, taking a brief moment to tuck a few strands of ivory behind his ear. Sighing gently, he closed his eyes for a moment, and then pushed his body from the banister

"He's been in his room for three days now. He has neglected to attend both of his training sessions yesterday and today."

"Did you bother to retrieve him, Venom?"

"No. He would be of no use to The Guild in his depressive state. To attempt and force him--,"

"Would only worsen the situation, yes…" Zato finished for Venom with a disappointed sigh. "I expected so much."

"He is a peculiar child," Venom mused. "His weakness seems to be his emotions."

"Your weakness as well, Venom," Zato added, shifting his body gently so that he could gauge Venom's physical response. To his dismay, Venom was smiling, though it was a faint one. Venom snorted gently.

"Was my weakness."

"And still is," Zato whispered.

-

Terra and Yu stood outside the door. They knew Lei was on the other side, but neither of them bothered to knock. Neither of them bothered to speak. Neither of them wanted to hear his agonized voice, or see his face crumpled with despair. But neither of them would leave. Yu finally let out a frustrated breath, and turned his back on the door. Terra turned, startled, and trotted after him.

"What are you doing?" Terra whispered. "We were supposed to help him!"

Yu shook his head and walked a little faster.

"No. You wanted me to go with you as security in case he went insane again. I'm not here for him," Yu sharply replied. Terra stopped at that. Yu continued on without her. As he faded from her sight, her face grew warm. Who were these boys?! And what happened to the camaraderie that they all initially shared? It was almost as if it had all completely faded in a matter of weeks. They were inseparable before. Why couldn't they be that way now?

"Bastards.." she whispered behind her tear-welled lids. "You're both bastards

-

Lei lay in a fetal position in the center of his bed. He'd been ignoring the knocks at his door. Ignoring the slips of paper pushed underneath his door. They were probably from Terra, anyway. No one had really bothered to retrieve him since that day. What a joke of a promotion. He didn't deserve it. Not that way. Zato gave him a promotion for cowardice, he felt. That struck him more painfully than he had struck the master. He didn't feel like he earned it.

I should just leave…I'm useless to the master. I tremble at his presence…I can't stop my longing for him…and yet I'm so in love that I'm blind and unable to protect him. I'm like a sick pup, blindly following its master, without regard to its own sickness and inevitable death.

A chill flowed along Lei's spine as he thought. He shivered gently and tightened his curled body's position. There was cold air seeping through the window cracks. He didn't want to cover himself with a blanket…didn't need to. He was growing used to the varying weather now that he had been secluded. But what he wondered most about was how long would the master allow him to lie dormant before they expelled him? Or would someone come to force him from his chambers? Nothing had happened so far….had they simply forgotten about him? No. Surely not. But right now, he didn't feel worthy. Master Zato didn't need to see him so weak. So flawed. So powerless. He would wait until he knew that there would be no room for anyone to doubt him. And there would no longer be any room for him to doubt himself. But how long would that take? How much more disgrace…?

How much more patience would the master have?

-End Ch 7-