17: Rumours & Reconciliations

A week later:

My family have made their final decision; we're going back to Ireland, no doubt about it. They've decided that we're going to leave on the 21st. Which I found out is the day before the glee club fly to New York for Nationals… I had a huge fight with my family, asking them to let me go to Nationals first… But they said no, something about flights being the cheapest on that day. I've tried to convince them. I argued till I was blue in the face. But I've accepted that they're not gonna change their minds… I don't know how I'm gonna tell everyone… I just don't know… My mam has talked to Mr Schue and Figgins and they've agreed to not mention anything about this until I tell the guys first… I think I'm going to wait until after Prom. I don't want my last few weeks here to be miserable. We all should enjoy this time. So yeah, maybe after prom I'll say it…

/

I was at my locker getting my books ready for class when suddenly a newspaper was shoved into my face.

"Is this true dude?" I asked Puck say as he and Sugar stood behind me.

"What? What's this?" I asked, as I put on my glasses.

"It's the school newspaper. Look at the blind items section. Rachel showed us" he said, looking angrily.

I found the section and began reading down. There were 3 different posts.

"What prom queen candidate is spending a lot of time in her closet?" I read out. Santana?

"What Blondie former cheerleader is having a secret moonlight rendezvous with another big lipped Blondie? – Quinn's cheating on Finn with Sam?" I asked, looking up at the others.

"That's not what we want to read dude. Look at the next one" He said seriously.

"Which glee clubber is dancing a jig all the way back to Ireland?"

Shit…. How the fuck did someone find out about this?

"Is it true? Are you going back to Ireland?" Sugar asked, looking extremely worried.

Quick Ryan, say something. You want to enjoy these last few weeks. You should wait a little longer before telling them.

"What? No it's not true. I have no idea why the hell they'd say that. But look at the other item on the list, apparently Quinn's cheating on Finn with Sam; as if that would ever happen! They're just bullshit rumours guys." I said as nonchalantly as I could.

"Ok dude, cool just checking. You scared us." Puck said.

Great. Now I'm lying to my friends too…

/

The whole glee club is really being affected by these rumours. Santana and Brittany are fighting. People are going even crazier about the rumour that Quinn is getting with Sam behind Finn's back… But that can't be true, Sam's gay! I've had to lie to the whole club about my rumour. Blaine came up to me, almost in tears when he read the rumour. I feel so shit having to lie, but I really hope this doesn't backfire on me… I hope I'm doing the right thing.

/

The next day:

Sugar, Blaine, Puck, Lauren, Rachel, Finn, Quinn, Mike, Tina, Artie and I were all sitting around a table at the Lima bean discussing the newest rumour.

"How can Kurt be with Sam in a motel? It's so sleazy" Sugar said.

"Kurt can't be with Sam… Back me up here Blaine; up until a few weeks ago Kurt was still hung up on you. He hardly moved on that fast. And anyways, Sam's not gay!" I said.

"I dunno what to believe. All these rumours are really started to get to us" Blaine said.

"Look, I don't wanna get into it. But all I'm gonna say; Sam's not gay" Quinn said confidently before standing up and walking out.

/

The next day:

Rachel had just finished singing 'Go Your Own Way' and she was now arguing with Quinn about Finn (what's new?) and Sam.

"Nothing is going on between Sam and me" Quinn said, looking visibly frustrated.

"Y'know, I blame Sam for all of this. And Rachel I blame Rachel too" Santana chimed in.

"What did I do?"

"I'm sure you did something".

"I'm with Santana. I mean why doesn't Sam have anything to say about this?" Lauren said.

Sam looked extremely uncomfortable. He was looking at the ground; what he used to do when I looked at him.

"Seriously dude, what you're doing is not cool!" Puck added.

"Shut up! Sam shouted as he raised himself up on his chair. "Look, I'm not messing around with Quinn or Kurt or anyone of those guys! They're just helping me-" he continued.

"Oh is that what they call it now?" Mercedes said, irritated.

"Hold on, how are they helping you out?" Mr Schue asked.

Sam paused and looked at the ground once again. He looked so vulnerable.

"Kurt was bringing me some clothes and Quinn was helping me babysit my little brother and sister." He said sadly.

"Then why were you in that motel?" Finn butted in.

"Because that's where I live now!" He said angrily. "My dad lost his job a few months ago then we lost the house so now we live in that motel, in one room!"

My eyes widened in shock. There was silence for a moment before Sam jumped up off the seat.

"Are you all happy?" He shouted. "The truths finally out" He said angrily. Our eyes locked for just a moment before he ran out the door.

I looked over to Sugar, Blaine and then Puck. They all looked both shocked. A huge wave of guilt washed over me.

/

At the end of glee practise the whole club waited until Mr Schue had left before talking about Sam.

"I found out when he delivered a pizza to me at Dalton. He asked me not to say anything." Kurt explained.

"We go to the same church, so he couldn't really hide it from me. He likes having a girl to take care of his little sister" Quinn said.

"It's been really tough for him. You know his blue guitar that he got for Christmas last year? He had to sell it to try and make ends meet." Kurt said as he looked directly at me, knowing the deeper meaning behind the guitar.

His guitar; the one I bought for him…

"Guys, we have to do something to help Sam" Rachel said. Everyone nodded in agreement.

"We should all pitch in and but his guitar back for him!" Finn said.

"That's a great idea Finn." I said. He looked visibly shocked that I actually agreed with him.

"I can give him some money! Why didn't he come to me for help?" Sugar said, looking sad.

"Sam probably didn't want to feel helpless. He probably didn't want to feel like some charity case" Puck said.

"How exactly are you best friends by the way? You haven't spoken in months?" Mercedes said.

"Sam stopped talking to Sugar, Blaine, Puck and I right before Christmas. We didn't know why, but obviously it was something to do with this. We never stopped being friends. He just wouldn't talk about it" I said sadly.

"Well guys, if you give us the money, Finn and I will go over to his motel tonight and talk to him." Rachel said.

"No. Let me do it" I said seriously.

"Uh, Ryan, I think that seeing as Finn and I are the co-captains of this club; we should be the ones to do this." Rachel said.

"No. He's one of my best friends. I need to do this. Please." I said.

"All in favour of Irish going instead of the dwarf and the giant?" Santana said.

They all raised their hands except for Finn and Rachel.

"Ok well that settles it. I'll go over tonight, with the guitar. If anyone has anything else they want to give to him, maybe clothes or something, just let me know." I said.

After a few more minutes of discussion, everyone left to go home. Sugar, Blaine, Puck and I began walking out of the choir room.

"I can't believe it… Sam's homeless. Why didn't he tell us?" I asked shocked.

"I dunno dude, but we can't blame ourselves. He stopped talking to us" Puck said.

"Now that we know, we just have to make sure that he knows we're there for him, no matter what." Blaine said.

"I still can't believe he never came to us for help, especially me! I would have been happy to give him some money!" Sugar said, looking both confused and slightly angry.

"But like the guys said earlier; Sam probably didn't want to be thought of the homeless guy that we should feel sorry for. Sam is a great guy. But he has insecurities. Do you not remember when he first kissed me? He was too afraid to even talk to me for days after that because he thought he had ruined our friendship." I said.

"You're right. I didn't think of it like that. Anyways, I gotta go get a book from my locker. Walk with me Puck?" She asked.

"Sure. Meet you guys outside." He said as he and Sugar walked off down the hall.

Blaine and I continued walking until we got to the main doors. We sat down on the ground and waited for Sugar and Puck.

"Are you sure you don't want me to come along tonight? You might need some support?" Blaine asked.

"I think I need to do this alone…" I said. Blaine looked slightly jealous.

"You don't need to worry… I love Sam, but at this point. I just want to be his friend again. I really like you Blaine. Don't doubt that for a second." I said.

He brightened up considerably when I said that.

"Does that mean you've made a decision?" He asked.

"Not yet… I just don't know yet. I don't want to lead you along and make you wait for my answer…. But there's just a few personal things I really need to try and sort out first" I said sadly.

"Ok, I understand" He replied, looking a little disappointed.

How am I supposed to break the news to him…? He'll be so hurt… God I'm a fucking terrible person.

/

I stood staring at the motel door apprehensively before placing the guitar case down beside the frame and then knocking on the door nervously.

Sam opened the door slightly as he peered out. "Um, I'm trying to get my sister to sleep" He said before beginning to close the door again.

I stuck out my foot, blocking the door from closing. "No Sam, we have to talk. I'll stay quiet, I won't wake up Stacey. Please." I said.

Sam looked at me sadly before admitting defeat and opening the door to let me in.

"Ryan!" Stacey shouted happily as she ran up to give me a hug.

"Hi Stacey. Hey Stevie! Look how big you've gotten!" I said happily.

"Well she's up now" Sam said with a light smile.

I took a moment to look around the room. It was tiny; one bed, a small TV, clothes and random objects thrown around all over the place.

"Well it beats a cardboard box underneath an underpass right?" Sam said lightly. "We keep the rest of our stuff in my dad's car".

"Everything else; it's all gone?" I asked sadly.

"We sold everything else…"

"Can we watch TV?" Stevie asked.

Sam threw his siblings onto the bed playfully before returning to our conversation.

"How did this all happen?" I asked.

"Well we moved up here cause my Dad got a great job offer and… The economy went to hell and it was last ones in, first ones out… We spent all our savings in the move and down payment on the house… And then the last straw was when I dislocated my shoulder back in September. My parents spent whatever they had left to pay for the medical bills… Y'know when the bank takes your house they literally take it. They come by one morning and kick you out of your own house; just lock you out." Sam finished sadly.

"I'm so sorry Sam… But why wouldn't you tell us?" I asked him.

"You've seen how information flies around that school right? You think everyone would have just treated me the same after they found out? I'd be even more of a freak" he said with a tone of resentment in his voice.

"You're right; the arseholes and bullies in the school would treat you differently. Maybe some guys in glee would too. But I would have never done that. Neither would Blaine, Sugar, or Puck. Sugar would have happily given you money without you even asking her! We're your best friends. You were the love of my life" I said in a hushed whisper so the kids couldn't hear.

"Ryan, you have no idea how hard it was to do that. I cut out the most important people in my life. But I wanted to make all of this easier for you." He said sadly.

"How? You said that at the party. But how is this easier?" I asked.

"Because if we became distant and stopped talking to each other. I knew it would be easier for all you guys when I have to leave" He blurted out quickly.

My expression changed instantly.

"What do you mean leave?" I asked, extremely confused.

"Mom and Dad are out all day pounding the pavement looking for work but… Nothing. They're looking in other states too. There are no jobs here at all. If my parents can get a job in Texas, or Mississippi, or anywhere else; we're gone." He said sadly.

"So all this time, you could have left at any moment?" I asked him, a little angrily.

"Yeah; we lost the house just before Christmas, which is why I decided to end things. It's why I couldn't even get you a present."

"How would it have been easier though? I would have rather you stayed with me. We could have had the best time and made brilliant memories that we could at least remember before you left. But we were both miserable for months instead!" I said both angrily and sadly.

"When you say it like that; you're right. But I can't take it back now. You have no idea how much it killed me to hurt you guys like that, to hurt you like that. I couldn't even look at you for months cause I missed you so much and it made feel like the worst guy on the planet everytime I looked at you." He said.

We both remained quiet for a moment.

"It's ok… I understand why you did what you did… Cause I'm kinda in the same boat." I said quietly.

"You're leaving?" Sam asked, eyes widening in shock.

"My grandparents hate it here. They're making us go back home. I've literally tried every argument and fought with them so many times now. But they're mind is set… So we're leaving the day before Nationals." I said, as I looked anywhere but Sam's eyes.

"What?" He said loudly. "You're not going to New York with us? But you've wanted to go there since you were a kid!" He said, looking shocked.

"Like I said, my grandparents won't change their mind… Mr Schue knows, but he won't tell anyone till I do. I understood what you meant about making it easier for people to let go and move on if you're not talking to someone. But I want to enjoy my last few weeks here. And I want all the guys to enjoy them too, which is why I'm waiting for about two weeks, until after prom. That way we'll have made some good memories before I go." I said sadly.

"I can't believe you're leaving" Sam said as he began to lightly tear up.

"I know. I can't believe you might be leaving too. Everything's changing…" I said as I felt tears beginning to form.

"Oh, I almost forgot… I need to get something for you. Two seconds" I said as I walked out the door and back again in a heartbeat, holding the guitar case in my hand.

"Is that what I think it is? You got it back? You didn't have to do that" He said sadly. You could still hear the excitement in his voice though.

"Yes I did have to. It wasn't just me; the whole glee club pitched in… But of course, they don't know the real reason why it's so important to both of us" I said, smiling a little.

Sam looked down at the ground for a few moments. He looked like he was crying. I was about to say something when suddenly he took a giant step forward and caught me in hug so tight I could hardly breathe.

"Thank you" He whispered into my ear. I couldn't help but smile.

I looked over towards the bed to find that the kids were fast asleep. "Look who's asleep" I whispered.

Within a few seconds Sam's hands were in twined in mine and we were kissing.

We stayed like that for a few minutes before letting go and sitting down on the ground at the foot of the bed. We were still holding hands.

"Who'd have thought that those two little Na'Vi words had such a deeper meaning" I said softly.

"I missed you so much" Sam said.

"I did too… I can't believe we're both leaving…" I said sadly.

"Me too, but at least we're being honest. No more secrets." He said.

"You're right… So what does this mean? What do you wanna do now?" I asked.

"Well I wanna talk to you. And I wanna be with because you're the love of my life. But right now, it's not our time, even though I wish it was. Long distance would never work, especially in a different country." He said sadly.

"I know. I'd do anything to be with you. But we've had a good few months now to get used to the idea of not being together… I just want to be friends. Let's just enjoy the time we have left together as friends without any drama, ok?" I asked.

"I'd like that." He said. "Can I tell you something? I overheard Puck and Blaine talking to each other at the lockers last week. Blaine really likes you, the way I like you." He said. He was impossible to read at that moment. I couldn't tell if he was ok with it or jealous and angry.

"I know… He told me a while ago… Can I be perfectly honest? I love you. And I will never stop loving you. But after that night at Rachel's party, I was able to move on. I could finally see myself being with someone else… I started to like Blaine too. He wants to go out with me. But I can't do anything now cause I'm leaving. I just want to enjoy these last few weeks without any drama. And I don't want to hurt anyone." I said.

"Well it's my own fault that you had to move on in the first place. I wish it was me. But just know, that if you're happy, I'll be happy for you" He said somewhat sadly.

We sat in silence for a few moments. Sam was resting his head on my shoulder.

"Life is shit sometimes…" I said sadly as we both stared into space, going over the night's revelations in our heads, and also trying to think of what could lie in store for us.

/

A/N: I didn't have time to recheck this for spelling errors so if anyone notices any, please tell me! :)