18: Prom-ises
Two weeks later:
I'm a dickhead, plain and simple; every day the reality that I'm leaving sinks in just a little bit more, and with that the guilt that I haven't told the guys gets worse. I hope I'm doing the right thing. Getting to enjoy these last few weeks is all I have left. The prom is our last big memory maker…. Sugar and I are going together. Puck's with Lauren obviously. Sam is going with Rachel and Mercedes for a 'prom on a budget'. Santana's with Karofsky. Kurt asked Blaine to go with him as friends seeing as they're the only two out guys. Blaine came to me and asked if it was ok with me… I have no right to say anything, but of course I'm not happy with it… It doesn't matter; I'm just going to enjoy the night. There's one really great thing that has happened. Everything is back to normal with Sam. We're all friends again. It was awkward at first, especially for Blaine and Puck, but they got there in the end and now all is forgiven.
/
Prom:
I was on the dance floor with Sugar as Puck, Artie and Sam sand 'Friday' on stage.
"This is so much fun!" She said happily as she twirled around me.
"It really is. It's gonna be a great night. And might I say, you are looking amazing tonight!" I said, winking at her.
"I know; I went all out!" She said proudly before looking towards the stage. "I can't believe Sam is finally friends with us again. It feels like everything is finally coming together again, doesn't it?" She said as she danced happily.
"Uh- yeah it really does" I said, forcing a smile.
Keep it together Ryan.
/
A while later Puck, Sugar, Blaine, Sam and I were sitting at one of the tables, exhausted from dancing. Lauren was dancing with Kurt nearby.
"So who'd a thought we'd all be back here together again?" Puck said happily
Sugar smiled happily, as did Blaine. Sam smiled, while looking at me. I knew what he was thinking.
It's not gonna be like this for long… We'll be separated again soon…
"Well let's make up for the time we missed. This is a great night." I said, forcing a smile yet again.
"Yo, Sam! You're up!" Artie said as he moved to our table. Sam jumped up and made his way to the stage, picking up his guitar as he did so.
"So we're gonna slow things down for a few minutes, alright alright" Sam said, impersonating a celeb as he did so.
Hey there Delilah,
What's it like in New York City?
I'm a thousand miles away
But girl tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do
Time Square can't shine as bright as you
I swear it's true
Sugar and I walked up to dance, as did Blaine, Puck and Lauren. Kurt decided to go and talk to Mercedes.
Hey there Delilah,
Don't you worry about the distance
I'm right there if you get lonely
Give this song another listen
Close your eyes
Listen to my voice it's my disguise
I'm by your side
Fuck… Why this song? This is making things worse…. I can't listen to this whole song.
Oh it's what you do to me,
Oh it's what you do to me,
Oh it's what you do to me,
Oh it's what you do to me,
What you do to me
Sam was looking straight at me.
Hey there Delilah,
I know times are getting hard
But just believe me girl,
Someday I'll pay the bills with this guitar
We'll have it good,
We'll have the life we knew we would
My word is good
You have to enjoy this night Ryan. It's one of your last. Stop.
Hey there Delilah,
I've got so much left to say,
If every simple song I wrote to you
Would take your breath away
I'd write it all,
Even more in love with me you'd fall
We'd have it all
I could feel the tears forming, desperately trying to hold them back as I looked from Sam to Blaine, to Sugar and then Puck.
Oh it's what you do to me,
Oh it's what you do to me,
Oh it's what you do to me,
Oh it's what you do to me
A thousand miles seems pretty far,
But they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way,
Our friends would all make fun of us
And we'll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way,
Delilah I can promise you
That by the time we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And you're to blame
"What's wrong?" Sugar asked after seeing a tear fall down my cheek, looking worried.
"Uh- I'm just happy" I said extremely unconvincingly. She looked sceptical.
Hey there Delilah,
You be good and don't you miss me
Two more years and you'll be done with school
And I'll be making history like I do
You know it's all because of you
We can do whatever we want to
Hey there Delilah here's to you
This one's for you
Oh It's what you do to me!
Oh it's what you do to me!
Oh it's what you do to me!
Oh it's what you do to me!
Oh it's what you do to me!
What you do to me.
"Thank you, thank you! Now please welcome to the stage, Mr Ryan Casey" Sam said as the clapping died down.
I began to walk slowly towards the stage.
I can't do this… I can't live this lie. I'm about to sing 'The One That Got Away'… I can't; I'll break down crying on stage….
Before walking to the mic, I stopped in front of Sam.
"I can't do this. Ii need a minute. Can you sing instead?" I whispered quickly to him.
"Sure. Are you ok?" He asked, looking worried.
"I'll be ok. I just need a minute" I said as I began to feel hot and flustered. I loosened my tie and unbuttoned the first button of my shirt as I ran out of the room as fast as I could, tears beginning to fall from my face yet again..
/
I was sitting on the ground, leaning against my locker, with my head buried in my hands.
Suddenly I heard footsteps and looked up to see Blaine hurrying over. "Ryan, what's wrong?" He said, looking really worried.
"Everything… I'm a horrible person" I sobbed. "All I wanted was to enjoy these last few weeks but I can't keep living a lie! I can't keep hurting you and leading you on!" I said.
"What are you talking about?" He asked, looking worried.
Suddenly I heard footsteps again as Sugar and Puck wheeled round the corner.
"Thought we'd come check on you two to make sure there's no funny busi- What's wrong?" Puck asked, his tone suddenly changing when he saw me.
I paused for a moment, looking at all 3 as I balled my eyes out.
"Before I say this… Just know that I love you guys so much and I'm so so sorry for not telling you sooner; I just wanted to enjoy these last few weeks as much as we could… I'm moving back to Ireland, the day before Nationals… My grandparents won't stay here anymore. They hate it" I said as I sobbed.
Sugar fell to her knees and began to cry. Puck looked shocked and lost for words. Blaine was the first to speak.
"But you can't just leave? Why didn't you tell us sooner?" Blaine said as his voice cracked.
"I don't want to leave. I love it here. You guys and Sam have literally changed my life, and Santana, and glee club… But my grandparents won't listen. I've been arguing with them for weeks. They just won't listen… I wanted us to enjoy the last few weeks we had together without us all being really sad… But I was wrong cause I've been feeling guilty and I'm sorry for being such an arsehole for not telling you sooner" I said as I sobbed again.
Puck leaned down and began to comfort Sugar, who was still crying. Blaine sat down to my right and grabbed my hand.
"You've known about this for weeks? You should have told us! We could have tried to help you! You've been feeling guilty and miserable for weeks and we didn't even know" Blaine said, softly, sounding angry at both me and himself.
"Just when the gang got back together… Does Sam know?" Puck asked sadly, his eyes started to look redder.
"Yeah… We talked about it at his motel the night I brought his guitar back" I replied.
Sugar looked up at me before leaping over and hugging me tightly.
"You can't leave" She said as she sobbed. "You're my best friend!"
"I don't want to leave! I'm being forced to!" I sobbed.
Puck sat down to my left. "Dude… What are we gonna do without you?" Puck said, with visible tears now falling down his cheeks.
"You guys have each other. And you have Sam now too… I'm gonna have no one. All the progress I've made here. It's gonna be all for nothing" I said sadly.
"We won't have you though. And you know out of all us, how important you are to me" Blaine wept.
"And that's why I can't be with you Blaine… Not cause of Sam. Not cause of anyone else; cause of this. And believe me, if I wasn't leaving. I'd be with you in a heartbeat." I said mournfully.
We all just sat there for a few minutes, all crying; Sugar leaning into me, Blaine still holding my hand, and Puck now wrapping his arm around my shoulder.
"I'm so, so sorry for ruining your night. I just wanted us to have great memories." I said morosely.
"Who cares about the fucking night? We care about you!" Puck said, slightly angrily.
"Well then, why don't we just enjoy tonight, like it's out last?" Blaine said, although he didn't sound too convincing.
"I can try" I said gloomily. "I don't want our last week together to be sad."
"How can it not be? You're so important to us!" Sugar said sadly. "But you're right. Let's make sure you have a good night to remember." She said.
"Well then let's go in there and rock this prom" Puck said.
None of us sound convinced. In fact, we all sound depressed. But we need to do this. Let's enjoy tonight and make sure we all get the memories I desperately wanted out of these last few weeks.
/
We've been dancing half-heartedly for about an hour now. Sam joined in after we filled him in. Lauren, Mercedes and Kurt joined in too, although they were clearly enjoying themselves, unlike us.
/
"Eat your heart out Kate Middleton" Kurt said onstage, with as much sass as he could muster.
For a moment, the silence was deafening, before all the glee kids, and then the whole crowd erupted in applause.
"And now behold the tradition of the 2011 Prom King and Prom Queen hearing their first dance." Figgins said as Kurt and Karofsky slowly made their way down the steps and onto the dancefloor. Mercedes and Santana began to sing 'Dancing Queen'.
Karofsky suddenly ran out of the crowd, leaving Kurt stranded In the middle, alone.
I leaned into Blaine and whispered into his ear. "Go up and dance with him. Be there for him as a friend." I said as I nudged him.
Blaine walked up behind Kurt and said "Excuse me? May I have this dance?".
Kurt's worried frown turned into a smile as he grabbed Blaine's hand and began to dance.
After a few moments, the whole glee club (minus Finn) circled Blaine and Kurt. Blaine then let go of Kurt and swapped with Sugar, who began to dance with him. The whole glee club took turns to dance with him.
Towards the end of the song, however, Karofsky appeared yet again and walked up behind Kurt.
"I'm sorry. Is there still time for one dance?" He asked, his eyes filled with regret.
Kurt looked visibly shocked for a moment before smiling and putting out his hand. "Take the lead" He said as he smiled.
You are the dancing queen, young and sweet, only seventeen
Dancing queen, feel the beat from the tambourine
You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life
See that girl, watch that scene, diggin' the dancing queen
/
A/N: I had to make prom just a little bit happy for the gang. Can't have too much angst :P
So I think I've figured out that with my schedule, I can generally get one chapter done per week (or 8/9 days). So that's when you should all expect a new chapter from now on. Every now and again, when I have the time, I'll get a few extra chapters done quicker. I will always try my best to get more done.
And I'm really sorry that I haven't been able to update as regularly lately, college is very time consuming :(
Thanks to everyone who's sticking with this story and remember, all reviews are appreciated! :)