CHAPTER 38
Almost a month had passed since their last night in NY, but the heaviness of sorrow was nowhere near abating. Kara and Lisa had made it to their southern destination without hindrance and were settled for their extended stay quickly. It had been many years since the bungalow in Destin, Florida had been used, but the caretaker had seen to it that it didn't fall into disrepair. Now they were here nestled on a secluded beach with palm trees swaying in the breeze, dolphins whistling out on the bay, and the sun shining through the windows.
Kara stood just within the door of the sunroom, watching Lisa's still form perched on the wooden stool. She noted the blank canvas on the easel and untouched color palate held lax in Lisa's hand. The quiet around her wasn't a calm lack of noise; it filled the space like a thick smoke, anxious and stifling. Kara's heart lurched to see the shimmering trail of a tear that had traveled down her friend's cheek.
This sorrow was not what she had wanted when she had encouraged Lisa to leave NY. This pain was not the outcome she'd expected when she'd heeded the recommendation of the Giry woman to get Lisa away from that masked man.
Lisa was not the kind of woman who was normally easily led by others in matters of the heart, but the loss of Mama Aguilar had weakened her will. When she'd reached out to Kara for comfort and counsel, the older woman had taken the opportunity to convince her it was best for everyone that she ends the relationship.
At first Kara had felt resolute about the rightness of breaking off their love affair. How could a man like that offer anything more than more suffering and heartache to any woman? Only now did she see clearly exactly what he'd given Lisa. One can always tell the effects of a broken heart in someone they care for.
Kara Sighed deeply as a guilty burden began to press down on her. When had she become so blind? For a long time she'd been lamenting the lonely life they'd been living, but then she remembered the dark days of pain and violation they'd experienced. When had she allowed fear to be her guide and guardian, and when had she decided that surviving was more important than love?
A muffled sob disturbed the emptiness. Lisa's head had fallen to her chest and her body was shuttering with barely repressed weeping. Kara knew that sound, it was the sound of a bleeding soul. She had to make it right somehow. Kara moved forward, allowing her steps to make enough noise to announce her presence. Lisa immediately straightened and brushed away the tears she'd shed. When Kara reached her Lisa wore the brave face her friend recognized as a mask to hide the hurt.
"What are you thinking about child?" asked the older woman.
"Thinking? I'm trying to think about what to paint; I'm trying to think about whether it will rain tonight, but all I can think about is how quiet it is. All I can think about is how much I want to hear someone play a piano. All I can think about is how 2 weeks feel like two hundred and wonder if I can survive the rest of my life. And the thought makes me sick to my stomach." Lisa said through a strangled voice. "But I'll be fine, don't you worry." She met Kara's eyes and did not like the worried look on her face. "I'm sorry, I'll be fine. It just takes time right?"
Kara reached over and pulled Lisa into a loving hug. In the warm comfort of her arms Lisa began again to cry her unrestrainable tears. Kara tried all she could to comfort her. She rubbed her arms and back and smoothed back her hair as she had when Charles had been killed. Suddenly Lisa leaped from the stool and ran from the room.
Kara thought she'd been overcome by her pain finally when she heard a retching sound from the nearby bathroom. As quickly as she could she ran to check on her friend, finding her bent over the bowl. A kind of motherly instinct kicked in and Kara suddenly noted the extra fullness of Lisa's hair, the stiffness of her breasts underneath the light shift she wore, and the extra radiance of her skin.
"Weren't you sick this morning too?" Kara asked. Lisa only nodded as she moved to the sink to rinse her mouth.
"Maybe it was the shrimp from Denton's. We should probably call them to ask if there have been any problems on their other deliveries." She said as she moved to pass Kara and return to the sunroom, but the older woman caught her hand to stop her.
"I think it's a better idea to call Dr. O'Neil and start making plans for going back to NY." Kara said softly. Lisa was floored and stood many moments with her mouth agape.
"NY, what for?" she asked.
"So you can tell Gustave he's going to be a big brother."