Author's Note: I'd like to thank everyone for their reviews. I'm glad you all are enjoying the story.

Chapter 5- Rage, Lies, and Understanding

Dan was still trying to wrap his head around the fact that Serena was married to someone that could not love her the way she was supposed to be loved. She deserved someone that would adore and wanted her, heck who wanted a woman. She deserved to know, but how exactly was he going to tell her. The whole conversation with Jenny was weighing on his mind during dinner. Maybe she was wrong; maybe they were both reading a little too much into the situation.

"Its probably just wishful thinking, Humphrey "he thought to himself.

Dan looked over at them and for all intents and purposes they looked like a happy couple. He didn't know what bothered him more. The thought of Serena being happily married to someone else or the prospect that she was stick in a marriage where she was most likely unhappy and unloved. He still could not fathom why he cared so damn much. Their relationship at this point was largely professional. She was his ex and his editor and that was it. But, Dan couldn't help but want to integrate her into his life. It just felt like his life was finally coming together in the past few weeks. He couldn't pinpoint exactly why he felt that way, but Dan knew his life was always better when Serena was around. It was just a fact. He remembered all those nights that he sat in his door room and attempted to write to her. One of his deepest regrets was losing touch with Serena. He looked over at her and tried to make the best of the stituaion. He really had no right to discuss her husband's sexual preference with her. It was her business, but a part of him felt protective.

"The food is wonderful, "Serena commented. She could feel Dan quietly assessing her from the other side of the table. He was normally very chatty and his uncharacteristic silence was disturbing her. Silence usually meant he was brooding and she had no idea what exactly he would have to brood about.

"Smile darling, "Casey whispered in her ear.

"You certainly know how to put on a show, "she whispered back.

"That's why I'm here. I'm just playing the role of the dutiful husband, "he replied.

Serena caught Dan looking their way and smiled conspiratorially at Casey. It was a calculated move meant to evoke jealousy, but all she wanted was to make him suffer for all the lonely nights; for all the days she waited for him to get in touch with her. She wanted to get back at him for all those women that had been draped on his arm for all the world to see. Serena knew she had no right to want to punish him, but she still did. She wanted to punish him for every woman he had ever slept with that wasn't her. All she wanted was to inflict an iota of the pain that she had suffered.

Dan looked at them and tried to hide the anger that was building inside of him. It hurt to see her like this. She seemed so happy and unaware. Every smile she sent her husband's way made Dan want to throw his fist through the wall. He should just be honest with her and stop stringing her along. All he wanted to do was to confront the bastard for keeping her locked up in a marriage that was essentially a lie.

"So, how did the two of you meet?"Dan asked.

"We met at Brown. It was my freshman year and I was feeling a little down. You see I was still grieving after a recent breakup and Casey was there to help,"Serena said.

Dan knew exactly the game she was up to. "Well, that's the risk you run when you do the dumping,"he replied.

"That doesn't mean you stop feeling something for that person,"she retorted.

"Well maybe you should have thought of that before giving up. It might have saved you a lot of heartache."

"Ending a relationship doesn't mean you have to sever all ties,"she said with more than a hint of bitterness.

Jenny and Casey shared awkward looks. "Casey, why don't you help me clear the dishes."

Dan and Serena sat across from each other staring daggers at each other. They were like two soldiers facing off on the battlefield neither of them willing to stand down. Serena was angry and for the first time in years the source of her anger was right in front of her. Dan looked at her. All those years of feeling bitterness and hurt over her giving up on them so easily came pouring out. He hadn't intended to do it in front of Casey, but her pointed remark set him off.

"What the hell is your problem, Serena?"Dan insisted.

"My problem? How dare you?"she said.

"No, how dare you? You act like I dumped you. You were the one that left me that day. You are the one that walked away,"he said with a hint of sadness seeping through.

"Well, I apparently meant nothing since you forgot about me, about us so easily."

"That's not fair. You do not how I felt and anyway why do you care. You're the one that went and got married or have you forgotten about your husband already?"he retorted. Dan knew that he was being mean, but he no longer cared. Its like he had no control over his acerbic comments.

Serena got out of her seat and headed towards the first open door she could find. She unintentionally found herself in an empty room. It was some sort of library. It was surrounded by books and there was a desk in the middle of the room. There was shelf after shelf of books. From dictionaries to classic novels to the latest biographies. She tried to distract herself by sitting at his desk and that's when she saw the photo and her heart nearly stopped. She picked up the frame and looked at her teenage-self in dan's arms at the cotillion. She had the same photograph, but unlike Dan she kept it hidden away from public viewing. He had on its desk for anyone to see. Serena was suddenly overwhelmed with a feeling of shame and self-loathing for her accusations.

"I guess, he didn't forget,"she said.

"No, Serena I didn't," Dan said as he stood in front of her. "I wanted to apologize. I shouldn't have said what I did."

"I owe you an apology too."

"Just tell me one thing Serena,"he asked.

"Okay, shoot."

"Are you happy?"he asked.

Serena paused before speaking and said, "yes, I'm happy."

"I'm glad. Its all I've ever wanted for you,"he said.

Serena got up and let him hug her. She held tightly to him and soaked up his scent. She missed this. She missed the feel of him. They stood their embracing for awhile longer before letting go.

"Come on Jenny and Casey are waiting for us in the kitchen,"Dan insisted.

When they got their they found Jenny sitting with Nate and Casey who were huddled close together.

"Nate? What are you doing here?"

"I thought I'd come here and hang out. I was just talking to Casey here,"he said.

Serena noticed an odd friction between Casey and Nate. She knew her friend well enough to realize when he was attracted to someone. She just hoped that Nate let him down gently. For as jovial as Casey seemed he had a fragile heart.

Serena and Dan joined the others at the island and dug into the Cheesecake he had picked up at the local pastry

ONE WEEK LATER

Nate put his shirt back on and looked down at the sleeping figure of Casey. He'd never done something like this before and didn't know how he felt. All he knew was that he needed to leave before he woke up. He had never been with a man before and never thought he would. There were times when the idea had crossed his mind or when he noted that another man was attractive, but he had never thought of himself as gay. Its not that he feared what people would say. He had stopped caring what his family thought long ago. He was just confused and he had no idea where to go, but he knew there was only person who could understand how he was feeling, but he had no idea how to reach him.

"Hey, jenny."

"hey, Nate what's going on?"

"Do you have Eric's address. I need to talk to him about something."

"Sure, I'll text it to you. Is everything okay?"she asked.

"Yeah, everything is just fine."

A little over an hour later he found himself knocking on Eric's door. He opened the door looking bleary-eyed and disheveled.

"Hey, I know this is a bad time, but you are the only person who'd understand.

Meanwhile, Serena was sitting on her couch watching clueless for the second time that week. There was something comforting about the cheesy movie. It had this way of making her feel better when she was down and the past week had been exhausting at past. She had barely spoken to Dan since the dinner and she was having a rough time dealing with the fct that Casey was being distant. She had a feeling he was angry with her. The sound of knocking dragged her from her thoughts.

"Dan? What are you doing here?"

"Can I come in?"he asked

"Sure,"she said.

Dan started to pace her living room trying to figure out how to tell her. He'd debated having this conversation with her all week, but it was something he needed to address. He looked around and felt like something was off. He couldn't quite pinpoint what it was.

"I have to tell you something and I, I didn't know how to tell you. I thought do I just email her this? Do I call? You know you can't just spit this sort of thing out,"he blathered.

"You're rambling Dan?"

"I,I get like that when I'm nervous."

"I know,"she said matterfactly.

"We should sit down,"he said. Dan sat beside her on the couch and looked at her awkwardly. He had no idea how to tell her, but he had better just say it. "I think Casey is gay,"he said.

"what?"

"I think he is gay?"

"Dan!"

"I'm sorry I know I'm really out of line here, but its just a hunch that I have"

Serena put her hand on his leg and said, "calm down. There is something I need to tell you. Casey is not my husband and you're right he is gay."

Dan looked at her aghast. She had lied to him again. He shouldn't have been surprised. It was her thing. She had this bad habit of lying to him.

"Let me get this straight. You lied to me about married then got your gay friend to pretend to be your husband."

"Yes,"she said.

"I guess some things never change,"he said in a dismissive tone.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"she replied.

"It means you lie. That's what you do. Its what you've always done."

"How dare you!"

"No, you don't get to be all angry and self-righteous. I didn't do anything wrong here. I didn't lie you did."

"No, you're just the same pompous asshole you were when you were 17,"she retorted as he stormed out of her apartment and slammed the door. Serena covered her face with her hands and silently began to weep. She knew he was right on some level, but she hated that he was so cruel and dismissive to her. For some reason, she had a bad habit of lying to him. It wasn't what she normally did, but he left her such a jumble of emotions that she often felt like she had no other choice.