Chapter 12: The Truth

Nessie's POV

Esme seemed unusually interested in my grandfather. It was strange and I didn't know what to make of it. When she looked at him she looked like she wanted to cry.

When we eventually got back home it was kind of late. My sister still wasn't home and that had me kind of worried. It wasn't like her to be out late. Well, lately she was gone all of the time, so I guess it shouldn't be much of a shock anymore, but I was still worried about her.

Dinner was a quick and uneventful. I went upstairs to take a shower and. While I was showering I had a flashback of what happened that night.

Men taking their turns raping me. One of them even peeing on me because he thought that would be funny.

That night as soon as I got home I showered. I took an hour in the shower. It was the longest shower that I had ever taken in my life but I felt like I needed it. I had never felt so dirty before. I wanted to do whatever I could to feel clean once again. So I scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed until my skin had turned raw. Yet, I still didn't feel clean. I felt as though no amount of scrubbing my body would ever clean me again.

When I got out of the shower no one asked me anything about why I took so long in the shower in the first place. Either they didn't notice or they didn't care. Either way, it worked for me. I didn't need nor did I want that kind of attention on me.

I shook my head when I came back to the present. I started to cry because I felt that no matter what happened I was never going to get past what had happened to me. I would never get those images out of my mind. I would never stop having the flashbacks or the memories. I wanted to get rid of all of the reminders of that night. My hand flew to my stomach, well not all of the reminders anyway because the baby is one that I simply just didn't want to get rid off.

I sighed heavily and continued washing my body. When I got to my feet I couldn't help but feel disgusted by my toenails. For about four years now I've had a fungal infection on both of my big toenails. Every time the nail would break away a healthy one would replace it but then it wasn't long before it started turning yellow again. I've been to the doctor a few times but I'm too scared to take the medicine they recommend so I just live with it instead.

My mom used to tell me that I had every issue in the world. I also have chronic allergies and sensitive skin. That's why I so easily got eight sunburns when I was at SeaWorld.

I started to cry again when I thought of my mother. I missed her so much it hurt. Why did she have to die? At least I had Bella now. She was my mom too and I knew that she would be there for me whenever she needed me. I loved her so much. I missed her more then words could ever describe.

I got out of the shower and I quickly dried off. I could feel the sleepiness starting to set in so I just went to bed. I woke up a few hours later to go to the bathroom. As I was walking back to my room I was shocked to hear someone crying. It sounded like my sister. I was going to ignore it and go back to bed but then decided that I should go check on her.

I went to her room and knocked on the door but I got no answer. All I could hear was crying. I opened the door slowly and was horrified by what I saw. Anne was lying in her bed but on her nightstand was a bottle of sleeping pills. It was nearly empty. The rest were in her hands as she prepared to put them in her mouth and swallow them.

"Anne no!" I shouted and somehow managed to slap the pills out of her hand sending them scattering all across the floor.

"Nessie what are you doing?" she sobbed.

"What am I doing?! I think the question is what are you doing?! Why were you just about to do that?!"

"Because I want to die. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of it all" she cried.

"What?"

I was truly shocked that my sister would even think of doing something so horrible to herself. Why would she?!

"I hate my life that's why. Ever since our parents died things have just gone downhill for me and I'm tired of it. I just want to rest in peace already"

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"I feel so alone and no one even notices. "I feel so alone. Mom and dad are dead. Grandpa mainly just pays attention to Royce now since he is sick. You, Royce, and I never talk anymore. No one talks to me anymore"

"It's okay"

"No it's not" she said. "The only thing that helps is the drugs"

"What drugs?"

"Look in the top drawer" was all she said.

I opened it and was shocked by what I saw. There was a syringe and a bag of something that I assumed was the drug.

"What exactly is this?" I asked her.

"Cocaine"

"Anne you have to stop doing this. We all care about you. We love you. I love you. I'm sorry I haven't been showing it the way I should but I do. We need to tell grandpa about this"

"No we don't!" she looked scared.

"Yes we do. You're injecting a highly addictive and dangerous drug. Also, I just walked in on you about to attempt suicide. I can't keep quiet about this"

She started to cry again. I laid down right next to her. I was going to be there for her no matter what.

"Anne you're not the only one who has been keeping secrets. I too have been dealing with a lot. Awhile ago I was gang raped"

"What?" she asked, shocked.

"I was gang raped. It happened at night on my way home. It's been really hard and painful. The memories, the flashbacks, everything. Also, I'm pregnant"

She caught me by surprise when she hugged me and I hugged her. We just cried.

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