The next month or so passed rather quickly for Eriana. There were only a few weeks to go before the one year celebration, and despite her weeks of preparation, she was letting herself start to worry. Fergus Cousland had recently arrived, so they would be heading to Denerim together in the next few days. It had been fun to watch he and Aedan interacting with each. It had always been clear to her that the two brothers were close, but she had no idea just how close they were. Maybe spending the better part of a year assuming each other was dead made them learn to truly appreciate each other; at least that had been the case with Eriana and her family. Eriana had been waiting with Aedan when his brother arrived in the keep. The young nobleman had practically been buzzing with energy, bouncing on the balls of his feet as he waited for his brother's party to arrive. Aedan ran to his brother before Fergus' feet even hut the ground and pulled him into a massive hug, lifting the laughing teryn off his feet. She had half expected them to exchange a typical male handshake, one-armed bro hug, but she was touched by the obvious affection between them.

Fergus had brought along one rather large surprise, a new head for her household and a new head accountant, the Barrets, the innkeepers she had met when she and Zevran had stayed in Highever. Gloria and Saul had decided that it was time for their son, David, to take over the inn, but the two weren't quite ready to retire just yet. When they heard that Fergus was looking for someone to help in Amaranthine, they had offered their services. It turned out that they were more than qualified. Saul, as it turned out, was more than an innkeeper; he had also kept the books for several of the shipping companies around Highever and was a very experienced accountant. Gloria had really been there for her when she had woken up without Zevran, acting like a surrogate mother to the elf in one of the darkest days of her life. Had she not been expected in Amaranthine, Eriana would have been tempted to stay and let the Barrets take care of her for a few days. Besides, Gloria made the best raisin bread Eriana had ever tasted.

Even with help from the Barrets and the Couslands, Eraina still had a lot to do, so she had spent all of her spare time over the last few days making all the last minute arrangements with Nathaniel, Brendan, and Keenan, and for the most part everything seemed to finally be falling into place. There was only one thing that was bothering her, but she really didn't feel comfortable talking about it with everyone. So she waited until their last meeting was over to bring up her concerns to Nathaniel.

"Nate," she said, catching his arm as the others were making their way out of her office, "you got a minute? There's something I need to talk to you about."

"Anything, Ana, what's on your mind?"

"Too much to say really," she said with a sigh. "I've just been getting this uneasy feeling here lately; I guess I've just been worried."

"Oh, is it about Aedan; has he been getting a little too familiar lately? I've been kind of worried that might happen."

"What? No, Aedan has been fine. Well, for the most part anyway."

"What do you mean by that?"

"It's nothing really; he has been getting a little, um, well a bit more forward in his affections lately. It's not been a problem, per say; just a bit uncomfortable, and obvious."

Eriana wasn't about to say anything to Nathaniel about this, but Aedan's behavior had concerned her a lot here of late. When he had first arrived a month ago, everything had been just fine; they had been spending a lot of time together as friends and nothing more. However, as the weeks had passed, the young nobleman had been getting more and more aggressive in his attempts to woo her. He hadn't gone so far as to proposition her directly, but he has basically done everything but in her opinion. It was a delicate situation for the young elf, one she hoped to handle on her own. That's why she hadn't brought it up to Nathaniel. She only had to make it through the celebration, then he would be back in Highever. Problem solved.

"You know, I've actually been a bit worried about him. He is always hanging around and everything, but I didn't say anything because I knew you two were friends. I didn't want to worry you or anything," Nathaniel said.

"Why were you worried?" she asked, coming to sit down beside him on the couch. Nathaniel stretched and draped his arm across the back of the couch behind her.

"Because I grew up with Aedan, and I know how he can be sometimes, especially when it comes to women. He's a second son, and as far as nobility goes, they can be the absolute worst of us. They get all the privileges wealth and status provide with none of the responsibility. Trust me, I know; I saw it all. My brother Thomas was one of the worst."

Eriana's breath caught at the mention of Nathaniel's brother, but she didn't say anything. "In fact," Nathaniel continued, "my brother and Aedan used to spend a lot of time together running around Denerim back when they were young."

Eriana felt the blood drain from her face at that news. "Aedan and Thomas were friends?" She tried to ask casually, but the concerned look Nathaniel shot her made it clear that she had failed.

His eyes narrowed as he looked over at her. "Yeah, they spent a lot of time prowling around Denerim together when I was in the Free Marches. According to Deliah, they did a good job disgracing both our families for a while."

Eriana's head spun as she considered the implications of this. If Aedan spent time in Denerim when he was younger, then there was a good chance she met him on occasion? Did Aedan ever pull her from the tavern like so many other noblemen had? Was he one of the faces that had all bleed together in her mind? Even worse, had he been there with Thomas that night that he had beaten her so savagely? She couldn't remember; the men who had been there with Thomas were simply shadows in her memory, faceless forms who laughed at her as she writhed in pain. Was he one of those faceless men, and if he was, what did that mean for her? Sure he treated with kindness and respect now, that much was true, but how much of that was due to her role as Hero of Ferelden? Would that all change if he ever discovered what she truly was? Would he try something with her? The possibility must have shaken her more than she realized because Nathaniel reached out to comfort her. The moment his hands grazed her arms, she jerked away, instinctually scrambling to her feet and out of his reach, her eyes wide.

"Maker, Ana, what is the matter?"

"Nothing, it's nothing," she said, shaking her head trying to clear her head a bit. "I'm just surprised that they knew each other, that's all. But Aedan hasn't been a problem; I actually wanted to talk about someone else."

Nathaniel looked at her carefully for a second, trying to figure out what had set her off. "Alright then, if you say all's okay, I believe you," he said, but it was clear that it wasn't the end of that discussion. "So what was it that's been worrying you?"

"To be completely honest, it's been too quiet around here for my liking. I don't know, it's a bit unnerving, like something major is about to happen."

"What do you mean too quiet? It is never quiet around this many Wardens, especially if Oghren is among them."

Eriana grinned, "True, but you know full well what I'm talking about. It's been over two months since the Mother's forces laid siege to the keep, and we have yet to be attacked by anything other than darkspawn."

"And this has you worried?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact it does. Think about it, Nathaniel; I still have tons of enemies out there. What better time to attack me than when my defenses are the weakest? Yet, no one has done a thing."

Nathaniel smiled and sat down beside her. "You don't think that maybe that means there's no one out there trying to kill you."

Eriana shook her head. "I wish, but I'm pretty sure that's not the case. I have it on good authority that there have been inquiries made about me, though the specifics are a bit fuzzy as of yet."

"Good authority? What are you talking about?"

"I met with the Dark Wolf while we were in Amaranthine, and he said…"

"Wait," Nathaniel said, taking her by the shoulders and turning her to face him. "You met with the Wolf? When? Aedan or I was with you the entire time we were in the city."

Eriana grinned slightly. "He paid me a visit one night."

"In the tavern?"

"In my room."

Nathaniel practically growled. "He was in your room?"

Eriana laughed. "I didn't exactly invite him up, you know. He just showed up our second night there." She took Nathaniel's hand. "Don't worry; I'm here; I'm unharmed."

"What did he want?"

"Well, after he berated me for a lack of security on my part, he offered me a warning. Apparently, he and his contacts have been hearing my name being whispered in certain unsavory circles. He didn't know anything specific, but he could tell me most of the chatter isn't coming from Amaranthine; it's coming from Denerim."

"Denerim?"

Eriana nodded. "Not that I'm surprised by that or anything; I always assumed that I had enemies in the capital."

"But you stopped the blight; you saved the entire nation. How could they want to kill you after that?"

Eriana threw her arms out. "Look at me Nathaniel. Yeah, I may have stopped the blight, but that doesn't change who or what I am. I'm a back gutter, knife eared, street rat who has managed to elevate herself into one of the most influential and powerful political positions in the nation. All of a sudden, I have vassals and the ear of the King. There are a lot of people out there who resent me for that, and a lot of people who would have preferred it if I hadn't survived to see the end of the Blight."

"You didn't set out to gain this political position, though. Besides," he added hastily, "you're not a street rat."

"Once upon a time, I was," she said with a smile. "You know that this position was not my aim, but I would never be able to convince the nobility of that. I'm dangerous to a lot of people as long as I'm alive because I mess up the status quo, throw everything out of balance. I'm sure a lot of people would rejoice at my demise, and some who are likely working to secure it."

"And you thought they would attack you here?"

"I was almost sure of it."

"Why didn't you say anything about it, then?"

"It was just a hunch; I didn't have anything solid to go on, not until the Dark Wolf approached me about it," she said with a sigh. "He warned me, wanted me to be careful in Denerim."

Nathaniel's eyes narrowed. "You're not going to Denerim until the celebration; surely no one would try anything then. I mean, you're a national hero for the Maker's sake. Who would try to kill you at a celebration meant to honor you?"

Eriana gave a bitter laugh. "Are you kidding, that's the best time for them to kill me. I'll be vulnerable, out in the open, there will be crowds everywhere. Plus, every eye in the nation will be on Denerim. It's the perfect time to make a statement to prove to everyone that I'm unworthy of all this." Eriana dropped her eyes and moved behind her desk. "Here," she said, pulling out an envelope of papers, "these are standing orders, should something happen over the next month."

"Ana…"

"No, listen, provisions have to be made. If the worst happens, Brendan is to take over as Warden Commander with you as his second. He will handle the Warden business while you oversee the political side of things. There are a few letters in there, one in particular needs to go to Braxton, the barkeep at the Gnawed Noble Tavern, the rest you should be able to figure out."

"We're not discussing this, Ana…"

"And one more thing," she said, ignoring his protests completely. "Could you put my remains with Asala; I couldn't bear the thought of leaving her alone. Promise me, Nathaniel."

Nathaniel moved around the desk so quickly, her breath caught for a moment. Taking her by the shoulders, he looked down into her eyes, his stormy eyes blazing. "No, I can't promise you that because nothing is going to happen to you, not on my watch. From now on, I am taking over your private security. Warden duties come second, your safety is first."

"What, Nathaniel, no."

"Yes, I never realized just how vulnerable you felt, and I'm sorry I haven't done what it takes to make you feel safe. But no more. I will protect you, and as long as I draw breath, I swear to you no one will touch you."

Eriana gave Nathaniel a brief hug. "Thank you, Nate, I appreciate it, I really do, but surely you don't think I'm taking this threat lying down do you? I've already made arrangements for a few of our people to head into Denerim early so they can get a sense of what's going on."

"Who do you plan on sending?"

"Garen definitely. He knows all the tricks for getting around Denerim, and I'm sure he still has contacts within the city's underbelly."

"Sigrun would be good, too," Nathaniel pointed out.

"Yeah, I've talked to her about it as well; she's knows how to deal with thugs and what not." She glanced up at Nathaniel. "See, I've got this under control. I just need to make sure I've got back up plans in place."

"Regardless, I still think you need someone in charge of your security."

"I don't need a body guard."

Nathaniel looked her in the eye. "If Zevran was here, what would he be doing?"

Eriana sighed, "He'd probably be acting like a body guard, watching my every move, but…"

"No buts, he knew what you were capable of. He knew you could take care of yourself, but he'd still be looking out for your best interest. So that's what I'll do. We have enough wardens now to put someone in charge of your safety; trust me, it's what's best for all of us. You have too much on your mind to really think about yourself and your safety; let someone else be in charge of that. If you don't want me to do it, fine, but someone needs to."

"You're not going to let this drop, are you?" Nathaniel shook his head. "Fine, it I'm going to have a body guard forced on me, I suppose I'd prefer it to be you, and not just because you're the best rogue I've got. I know I can always trust you to look out for what's best for me."

"Then it's settled?"

Eriana nodded, "I suppose it is."

-0-

Nathaniel made the most of his last few days at the keep. He spent most of his time going over the itinerary for the week's celebrations. There were banquets, balls, parades, chantry ceremonies, and even a landsmeet. All in all, it was a security nightmare, but he was determined to make sure Eriana was as safe as possible through it all. He met secretly with every Warden who was going to Denerim and reviewed instructions for every day they were in the city as well as contingency plans for any type of attack he could conceive. They were as prepared as they could possibly be, so Nathaniel should have felt a bit more relaxed. But he wasn't. His mind kept going back to the brief conversation he and Eriana had had about Aedan and Thomas. For the life of him, Nathaniel couldn't figure out why Eriana had frozen up the way she had when he mentioned his brother or why she seemed to be suddenly more wary of Aedan. Ever since their brief talk, Eriana wouldn't be alone with the nobleman; in fact, she seemed wary around just about everyone but him and Oghren. It must have something to do with her background, but beyond what happened during and just before the blight, Nathaniel knew very little about her past, and she wasn't exactly open about it. So Nathaniel kept quiet, intending to keep a close eye on the nobleman as they made the two day journey to Denerim.

They were well into their first day before Nathaniel felt the need to step in. They had been riding most of the morning and were taking a brief break to eat lunch and allow the horses a chance to rest. Aedan was standing over Eriana who was leaning against a tree, looking a bit uncomfortable; he was practically on top of her, nearly trapping her between his body and the tree. Eriana had been riding with Aedan for most of the day, and during their down time, Aedan wouldn't leave her alone.

Nathaniel decided that he'd had enough. "Commander," Nathaniel said, standing up and strolling over to where the two were standing. "Why don't you ride the rest of the day with me; give Aedan here a chance to rest." Aedan opened his mouth to protest, but Nathaniel continued. "Don't worry, Aedan, she will be safe with me; I promise that I won't allow anything to happen to her. I know how demanding she can be, and I'd hate for you to burden yourself for the entire journey."

Eriana gave him a grateful smile before turning back to the stunned nobleman. "Nathaniel's right; I've imposed on your good graces far too long. Thank you for putting up with me all this time, Aedan." He tried once more to protest, "No, no, my friend I insist; you shouldn't have to spend the rest of your journey making sure I don't tumble headlong off the horse." She patted him on the shoulder and dipped under his arm to join Nathaniel as he walked over to his horse on the other side of the camp.

"Thank you so much, Nate; you have no idea how awkward that was starting to get. You are my hero, and I promise I won't be any trouble. You won't even know I'm here."

Nathaniel laughed and gave her a boost up into the saddle and handed her the reins as he climbed up behind her. She held the reins out for him, but he shook his head. "No, this isn't a free ride so much as it is a lesson. You are going to guide the horse." Eriana turned and looked at him wide-eyed. "No, I'm serious; this is something you need to learn. Don't worry; I'm here if anything should happen. And just think, once you learn to ride a horse yourself, you'll never have to ride with Aedan again."

Eriana grinned, "Oh, I like that, but I'm not afraid of controlling them, per say; I'm a ranger after all. I'm more nervous about the height. I'm rather short you know, and it's a long way down from these big war horses."

"Well that can be fixed. When we get back to Amaranthine, I'm going to find you a small, fast horse. Problem solved. Now, sit up and take the reins. It's a rope not a snake, get a good hold of them. You're doing well thus far; now just squeeze your legs a little bit to get the horse moving, good…"

"You've got me, right?"

"You're safe with me, Eriana; I told you, I'm not going to let anything hurt you, not an assassin and not a horse." Eriana giggled. "You're doing great." Nathaniel spent the rest of the day whispering instructions and advice into Eriana's ear as she controlled the horse. After the first hour or so, she seemed to relax a bit, allowing herself to sit back in the saddle against his chest. If he didn't know better, he would have thought that she might actually be enjoying herself a bit, and she definitely seemed to be relaxing for the first time in weeks.

They stopped an hour or so before nightfall to make camp, and as soon as they dismounted, Eriana and Nathaniel grabbed their bows and disappeared into the woods to hunt for dinner. They made a good hunting team, the two rogues. She usually spotted the animals first by virtue of her superior eyesight, and he would often claim the kill as he was the better archer. Somehow, though, he always ended up carrying the carcasses back to camp, regardless of what they killed. That night found him carrying back a pair of geese and a few rabbits while Eriana walked quietly behind him.

Later that night, after the rest of their party had enjoyed the fruits of their labors, Nathaniel found Eriana sitting on the edge of camp, away from the fire. Grabbing a blanket, he made his way over to her, and after placing it over her narrow shoulders, Nathaniel sat down beside her. "I was afraid you might get cold sitting out here all by yourself," he said. She smiled up at him and pulled the blanket securely around her. "I've been wondering something. You've never really seemed to have a fear of heights from what I can tell, so why the fear of falling off a horse? It's always seemed a bit odd to me."

"I guess it goes back to my childhood. My mother and I were traveling through the marketplace in Denerim one day when I was young, and an elven child darted out in front of a horse. The horse must have gotten spooked because it bucked and threw its rider before running over the child. Both the kid and the rider were killed, the child trampled to death and the rider broke his neck." Eriana shivered, "It was traumatizing. I guess I never really got over it." She glanced over at Nathaniel. "Not that it was a problem while living in the Alienage, mind you; we didn't exactly have a lot or any horses in there. It didn't really become a problem until I started hanging around with humans. You all love your horses."

"I'm sorry that you had to witness that," Nathaniel said, putting an arm around her and pulling her close. "No child should have to see something like that."

Eriana shook her head and leaned against him, staring ahead into the darkness. Suddenly she turned to him, "Nathaniel, we're friends, right?"

"Of course, Ana," why would you ask me that?"

She sighed and turned to look up at him, "I need you to promise me something, and it's going to seem strange, but it's important."

"Sure Eriana, anything."

"Promise me that you won't fall in love with me." Nathaniel drew back and looked at her, a stunned and confused look crossing his face. "I'm serious I need you to promise me that."

"Um, I won't fall in love with you."

"Good," she said pulling her knees up to her chest and pulling the cloak around her. "Because nothing good happens to people who fall in love with me. Trust me, it's for your own good if you just stay away. My past is littered with the broken and destroyed lives of people who were foolish enough to care about me. My mother, my brother, my first husband, Zevran…" She sighed and put her head down on her knees. "I'm not saying we can't be friends, but…it's just this all feels familiar, this with you…how close we've become, how protective you've been and everything…I'm just worried, that's all, and it would be best for you if we avoided all that."

"How long have you felt this way?"

Eriana shrugged, "It's a recent development; besides, I think things would be easier for me if I didn't let myself get involved with anyone."

Nathaniel looked down at her and stroked her hair. "Look, Eriana, I know things have been rough in your past, but that doesn't mean you should shut yourself off entirely to everyone."

"I'm not shutting myself off, not really; I'm just not looking for love right now. I don't destroy the lives of my friends, just the people who love me. They're the only ones in any real danger, so you can't fall for me, okay. I've already been careless with Anders and Adean, and I can't let you get too close. Please."

"Well don't worry about me, Ana, there was little chance of me falling for you anyway." Eriana raised an eyebrow and looked at him. "Let's just say you're not my type."

Eriana looked at him for a moment, her head cocked to one side. Suddenly her eyes widened. "Oh, so are you…"

Nathaniel laughed, "No, no, I definitely like woman. What you think any man who doesn't fall at your feet is gay?" Eriana blushed and started stuttering, protesting and trying to explain herself. Nathaniel nudged her, "I'm kidding. I've seen how men, especially how noble human men act around you, and you're beautiful, don't get me wrong. But I don't have a thing for elves."

Eriana stiffened, "I see, so you don't like me because I'm an elf, then."

"Oh, ho ho, didn't you just ask me not to fall for you? And now you're upset that it's not a possibility. Look, this isn't about me disliking elves; quite the opposite really…ugh, how do I explain this and not insult you?" He took a deep breath, "I grew up watching a lot of nobles treat elves like scum, my father among them. I mean, he treated our dogs better than he treated the elven women who worked in our kitchens. It was disgusting the way that they would subjugate these women, just because they weren't human. Then when I was sixteen, my father decided that I needed to squire out in the Free Marches, but that I shouldn't go without experiencing, as he put it, 'at least a little taste of what Fereldan had to offer.' So that night he came into my room with a young elven girl who worked in our dairy; she couldn't have been more than fourteen. He threw her on my bed and told me that she was my going away present, one last taste of home was it were."

Eriana went very pale. "Nathaniel, did you?"

"Of course not; the very thought of it turned my stomach completely. I saw her lying there on my bed, her eyes wide with fear, and I couldn't have done it even if I had wanted to. Ever since then, though, I haven't been able to look at an elf in a sexual way. I always felt like I would be taking advantage of them, like it was dirty to have those kinds of feelings for them, for you." Nathaniel looked over at Eriana and noticed that she was shaking. "Eriana, are you okay; what's wrong? You're trembling."

"Nate, that could have been me."

"What? But you never worked in Amaranthine."

She shook her head, "No, that's not what I meant. But something like that could have very well happened to me." He felt her shudder beside him, so he drew her closer. "In fact, things like that did happen to me." Nathaniel glanced down at her, listening as she began to pour her heart out. She told him about the noblemen who would abduct her on the way home from working in the tavern, about the guards who would threaten to arrest her if she didn't yield, about Vaghun who had stolen her away on her wedding day, about Thomas and how he had abused her in front of his friends...

"Wait, Thomas? That's how you knew my brother; he beat you up?"

Eriana's face fell; she pulled away from him, her face buried in her hands. "Oh, Nathaniel. I didn't mean to say that; I just started talking, and it kind of spilled out…I please don't hate me, Nate. I swear I didn't want you to find out about this."

Nathaniel took her hands and looked into her eyes. "Stop, calm down. Okay, I'm not going to be angry, but I do need you to tell me exactly what Thomas did to you." Eriana shook her head, unable to quite meet his eyes. "Ana, please; I need to know." She looked up at him, her blue eyes shimmering with newly sprung tears and began to tell her story. Nathaniel listened in horror as she explained how Thomas had wooed her, convincing her that she was special and important to him, how he had promised that he would marry her and take her away from the alienage, and how, like a fool, she had believed him.

"But it was all a rouse; he never loved me. He was just using me. After a few weeks, he told me that he was leaving and wanted to introduce me to his parents before he they returned to Amaranthine. I was so excited because I had just realized that I was pregnant; I was going to tell him that night. I thought he'd be so pleased. When I arrived, though, it was just Thomas and a big group of his friends. He told them who I was and then they all laughed at me. Then he…" she stopped again and put her head on her knees, unable to look at Nate anymore. "Then he tried to pass me around among his friends, and when I refused and tried to fight, they began to beat me."

"Maker's mercy, that was Thomas who did that to you? And he's the one who got you pregnant, too?" Eriana nodded. "So he was the one who caused your miscarriage too then?" Again Eriana nodded. Nathaniel suddenly got very serious. He knelt in front of her; taking her hands in his, he looked her square in the eye. "Was Aedan among them, Ana; was he there?"

"I don't know; I can't remember who was there that night, but you said the two of them hung out together all the time. He could have been there, but I doubt he'd even remember me; they were all so drunk at the time."

"Sweet Maker, no wonder you've seemed tense lately, the things you've been through and at my brother's hand, not knowing if your friend was a part of it."

"I'm so sorry, Nathaniel. I really don't mean to bad mouth your brother, and I swear I didn't intend to ever say anything. I mean, I was young, not even sixteen, and really should have known better, and I'm not that weak person now, not anymore."

"Stop," Nathaniel said, looking down at her, his grey eyes stormy and cool as ice. "You will not blame yourself for this. This was not your fault, so don't even try to take the blame." Nathaniel stood up and began pacing in front of her like a wolf prowling a fence line. "How did you ever come to trust me after all my family has done to you? What my father did to you was bad enough, but couple that with Thomas. Why didn't you kill me the moment you met me, and why on earth would you trust me to fight with you?"

Eriana glanced up at him. "Because you are not Thomas no more than you are your father."

"But you didn't know that then."

"True, but at the time my life had very little value to me. I guess I didn't care what you did to me." She sighed, "I was in a dark place back then, Nate, and in a lot of ways I'm still there. I'm doing better now, but at that time, I didn't care if you killed me or not. I just wanted to stop hurting."

Nathaniel turned and back to her; pulling her on her feet, he crushed her into his chest. He felt the tension in her shoulders relax as she rested her head against him. "Eriana, I swear to you, if by my life or by my death I can preserve you, I will, and as long as I am here, I won't let anyone hurt you. I will be the truest friend you will ever know and will be here for you whenever you need me." He felt Eriana's shoulders shake and he realized that she was crying as he held her. "You are not alone anymore, my friend; you need not fear that any longer." He pulled her back and looked down at her, "And since you don't have to worry about me falling for you, you can use me as a shield to ward off any unwelcomed suitors."

Eriana laughed and leaned into Nathaniel's warm embrace. Leaning her head on his chest, the young elf felt safe for the first time in ages. "Thank you, Nathaniel."

-0-

Okay, so I lied. I went out of town last week and didn't quite have the next chapter ready before I left, sorry. I wasn't really happy with the first part of the chapter, so it underwent numerous rewrites - hence the delay.

Anyway, I hope it was worth the wait. Thanks everyone for hanging in with me! Let me know what you think.