When they arrived at the house, Olivia carried a sleeping Ben upstairs while Alex carried Lexie. Neither said much as Alex led the detective into her apartment and brought her to the spare bedroom next to hers, where she wanted the children to be since it was closer than the other spare bedroom.

Luckily, there was a spare bed already in there so they set the children down next to each other and Olivia used the sheets to bunch them around Lexie so that she wouldn't fall off of the bed while they set everything else up. "There's a crib in the corner," Alex whispered as she pointed to it. "I—It was supposed to be a gift to them since now Lexie is sleeping on her own. It had the best reviews I could find and it's the safest one on the market. Number one recommended…" She rambled off as she leaned up against the wall, taking a deep breath and closing her eyes.

"I'll set it up, okay?" Alex merely nodded, not bothering to open her eyes as she heard the heavy box drag across the hardwood floor. Once the sound left the room, indicating that Olivia was going to set it up so as to not disturb the sleeping children, Alex allowed herself to sink to the floor.

She finally permitted herself to cry freely, tears streaming down her cheeks as she cupped her face with her hands and buried herself against her propped up knees. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't seem to remember Adam's smile. She could remember Claire, she could remember Ben as a baby, she could remember Lexie the minute she was born, but she couldn't remember her brother's smile.

She sobbed into her hands as she shook her head. How could she forget someone she loved like a brother? How could she forget him? It was sick and twisted. She laughed sadistically at herself.

She wasn't sure how long she sat there, crying to herself and cursing herself for being such a horrible friend and godmother. She knew she wasn't cut out for it. She knew there was a reason that Claire and Adam had never asked her to babysit. God, who was she trying to fool? If she didn't love those two so damn much she'd void her contract and give them to Olivia.

At least she knew how to put a baby seat together and how to put a crib together. She would've had to hire someone to help her.

It felt like only minutes later when the sound from the living room stopped. She immediately jerked away from the hand that rested on her shoulder, burying her face deeper against her knees in embarrassment of being caught crying.

"Alex, you're mourning, it's okay," Olivia whispered as she sat down next to Alex, removing her hand from the blonde's shoulder since the gesture wasn't welcomed. "It's okay to mourn you loss. Adam was like a brother to you. They were your family."

Alex cried harder.

Her body rocked with her sobs until Olivia couldn't stand it anymore. She wrapped an arm around Alex's arched back and pulled her close, despite Alex's protests. Finally, the blonde gave in, allowing her body to lean against Olivia's chest. "Shh, everything will be okay," Olivia soothed as she wrapped her arm tightly around Alex's back and used her other hand to stroke Alex's smooth locks. "I know it doesn't mean much but I'm here for you, Alex. We'll get through this together, okay? Those two beautiful children are counting on us, on you."

"Take them," Alex whispered, her voice coarse from crying. "Take them, please. I can't…do this…"

"Shh, don't say that. Yes you can Alex. You love those two like your own, you said so yourself. You can do this and I'll be here to help you every step of the way." Olivia felt the overwhelming urge to protect the blonde, much like she would a victim. Without thinking of the consequences, she pressed a kiss to the top of Alex's head. "You can do this. They need you. I need you too. Neither of us can do this on our own."

It took another ten minutes before Alex was able to compose herself enough to push away from Olivia and stand up on unsteady legs. She wiped away her tears and blinked furiously, trying to get her contacts to refocus. "We need to bring the crib into my room so that I have Lexie close. Ben loves his stuffed animals, especially his teddy bear and I don't have it. I don't even have food for them. Oh god, what does Lexie even eat? Last time they visited she was still drinking formula."

"Hey, calm down. One step at a time," Olivia told her as she glanced back to the sleeping children. "We can pick up their stuff in the morning. I'm going back to my apartment to get my own stuff since they're settled in now and I'll swing by the grocery store. Lexie is still drinking formula with her baby cereal. Claire introduced her to pureed carrots, bananas, sweet potatoes, strawberries, and blueberries. I'm not sure what else but I'm sure we can figure it out when we talk to her pediatrician. Don't worry for now, okay Alex? Just focus on yourself. I'll be back in a couple of hours. If you need anything," Olivia paused and pulled out her phone before handing it over. "Give me your number. I'll call you before I leave and that way you'll have my number. If you need anything, whether it's for them or yourself, call me."

Alex punched in her number and nodded before handing it back to Olivia. "Captain Crunch. And I know he eats it with soymilk instead of regular. He likes strawberries and bananas but hates green apples. He'll eat carrot sticks and celery sticks with peanut butter and he loves peanut butter and jelly sandwiches but it has to be grape jelly."

Olivia smiled as she watched Alex ramble off anything that she could remember about Ben's food preferences. "Okay, I'll pick up all of that. Wheat or white?"

"Wheat," Alex confirmed. "But it can't have all those healthy items on the crust otherwise Ben will make me cut it off. I made that mistake the last time," She said with a chuckle, her face finally lighting up.

"Okay. Two hours, Alex. Two hours and then I'll be back. When I get back I can carry the baby crib back into your room and set Lexie up in there with you. Then we can tuck Ben in."

"I have spare clothes," Alex suddenly remembered. "Adam left them here on accident the last time. They might be a little short on Ben now but I'm sure they'll be fine for the night. I think I have some clothes for Lexie as well that I was supposed to give them at the next visit."

"Perfect. Why don't you go get that stuff out and keep an eye on them? I'll be back before you know it." Alex nodded almost sadly as she turned back to the two children fast asleep in the bed.