Chapter 6 – Having To Understand the Pain

Tom's POV

I was downstairs preparing breakfast it was Sunday now and after a stressful week at school with Kacey trying to talk to her siblings with no luck, we both needed the break.

It was eleven when she walked downstairs and I knew immediately something was wrong she looked really upset and hadn't even spoken about the football the following day.

I walked into the living room where she was sat down resting her head on her arm and noticed tears streaming down her face.

'Do you want to talk about it Darling?'

She shook her head 'no its embarrassing Tom'

'You can talk to me about anything, I work at waterloo road I have seen it all before trust me'

She laughed through her tears but then slowly whispered 'I'm bleeding'

I understood why she felt awkward but I had been through this with both Chlo and Mika so I had some experience.

'It's ok, it's normal'

'No Tom, I can't do this when I feel like a boy inside it's not right make it stop'

She was crying her heart out, but for once the was nothing I could do

'I can fix most things about me sir, my hair, clothes but I can't fix that'

The way she had said most things sounded weird to me

'What do you mean most things?'

She looked at me and slowly lifted up her top she was wearing a binder where her breasts were very tightly no wonder she looked flat chested and my chest hurt thinking she had to cause pain to herself.

'I learned how to do it on a website'

'You don't have to torture yourself the is a temporary option'

'Really what?'

'Hormone tablets, they can stop it'

'Well let's get some'

'Are you sure, it's an big step'

'I have never been so sure of anything'

We got in the car and drove to the doctors, I know her mum didn't want to accept it but she must have realized how much pain she was in, and how much she was hurting herself to look like a boy, and if she could of got her help it is just cruel she didn't, all for her own selfish pride.

We got to the doctors and gave her name to reception and sat down

'Kace we don't have to do this you can change your mind'

'No Tom, I asked mum to do this but she said no it was gross, I need to you don't understand how disgusting I feel'

I had never felt like hitting a woman before but Carol was an exception.

We got called in and after examining her (see if she matched it enough or something) he gave her the tablets and told her to take them twice a day.

She took one on the way home and laughed, 'this feels so right Tom'

I smiled to myself she was finally being allowed to be herself and though we had a very hard journey ahead of us I would be there every step of the way.