Title: A Faded Memory

Author: Devlyne (Originally published as BelleAngeli)

Published: 07-20-03 (Re-Post 9/16/2015)

Disclaimer: I do not own Labyrinth, Jareth or Sarah. Nor do I in any way resemble Jim Henson, The Jim Henson Company, Henson Creature Shop or Disney. Any recognizable quotes belong to the aforementioned.

A/N: Posted out of order; I don't have the half-edited copy of Chapter 3 available to me, so I went ahead and edited Chapter 4. The other should be up tonight.

Chapter 4: Her Waking Moment

There was sunlight streaming through Sarah's window. It penetrated the dark curtains over the panes of glass and worked its way across the bed to her annoyance. On the street below, cars rushed up and down honking at each other and screeching to a halt to avoid wrecking. Someone had missed the light as it turned red and another was weaving in and out of traffic without a thought. The people in those cars forgot that there was more to the world because they were so wrapped up in themselves. It was unfortunate that it was the way the world worked. People were too involved in their own lives to notice what was going on with one another.

Sarah was sitting up in bed with the pillows propping her against the headboard. It gave her the perfect view to be able to stare in to the vanity mirror. This was the first morning in her entire year with the museum that she'd had to call in sick at all. It had surprised her boss almost as much as it surprised Sarah. She had woken with a splitting headache which had decided to center itself behind her left eye and throb. Every time she tried to gather her thoughts the ache would grow worse causing them to shatter and fly apart.

If that had not been a plight, then finding herself unable to rise from bed had most definitely been. The world had begun to wobble and spin about Sarah the moment she'd managed to get her feet beneath her. So, instead, she had chosen to lay here and listen to the answering machine in the hall pick up the incoming calls. Each beep and click of the machine caused that throb in her head to pulse more but she was too tired to get up and silence it.

The first call answered had been from her stepmother, Carin, to see how she was doing. Her parents wanted to know if she was coming home for her birthday in a few weeks as she'd promised them back in May. Home; that word left a bitter, sour taste in Sarah's mouth. Even after a year away, she could not bring herself to consider that house home.

So that left her with the question of where home was exactly; here? The apartment had never felt like home and Sarah had spent too many lonely hours to call it such. There was no home with her father and stepmother anymore; that home had lost with her childhood. Home was not a place at the moment. It was a feeling that was, for the moment, insubstantial to Sarah. At times, she thought she had almost gotten home but then the feeling would fade.

There was something missing within Sarah which needed fulfilling before she could find home. She had the distinct feeling that she had many years left of looking for it, whatever it was. She had never felt quite comfortable after her parent's divorce. And while Carin had never tried to push her aside, Sarah still felt that she had. It wasn't until Sarah had met Chris that she felt as though she belonged again. Chris had tried so hard to make her feel at home; he had made her feel loved and wanted in a way that was almost forgotten. That feeling was gone; Chris was gone.

A soft sigh escaped Sarah's lips and she brushed dark hair back from her face so that it didn't obscure her view. The room looked the same as it had last night when she'd come home from her date with Chris. Her clothing from that date hung over the vanity chair or folded into a neat little pile atop it. The faintest shimmer of light flickered across the mirror and Sarah fell in to a daydream.

It was an odd daydream because it seemed so real. She saw herself sitting on that vanity chair taking the small white pills one by one. The pills had dissolved in to her system and whatever pain Sarah thought she'd felt had begun to numb. Her body had relaxed and muscles had lost their tension until arms and legs felt like jelly. It was both a peaceful and frightening feeling as her mind let the darkness close about its edges. Sarah longed to surrender herself to that peaceful feeling but something held her back.

Her eyes closed a moment as the daydream faded and the room grew silent. The sounds of cars and the city from outside had faded to a dull echo. She did not hear the footfalls of the upstairs neighbor or the murmur of voices from the apartment next door. There was stillness and silence in the room about her. Bits and pieces of the night before swam through Sarah's thoughts including the hazy echo of a plea.

Sarah, what have you done?

Jareth's voice. Jareth; a name Sarah had not used in many years now. The Goblin King, who ruled the Labyrinth, stole children and offered fantasies made real. He had seemed so dashing and handsome though Sarah had not wanted to admit it at the time. No, Jareth was the villain in the story where Sarah was the hero. Villains were arrogant and ugly, not handsome or attractive. Their misdeeds fought and conquered but they were never forgiven for their transgressions. It was such a pity that Sarah could not see beyond that blind black and white view of the world at the time.

She had been so young at the time and Jareth had already been a man. At least, Sarah assumed he had been a man. It was so hard to tell with the changeling king what age he was. The man had been everything Sarah had been longing for at the time; a prince, a villain and a slave to her desires. She knew now that she had tossed his affection for her back at him. How would she have felt in that position?

"Oh, Sarah, what are you saying? He's not real. . ."

Dr. Thomas had said that to her so many times that Sarah had almost convinced herself he was right. And but for that lingering doubt at the edge of her mind, she would have pushed the thought away now. It was a gnawing suspicion that she was somehow wrong. The memory of his blue eyes and sharp features was as real as any photograph hung on the walls of her apartment. No, not a memory, but a dream and she had almost forgotten that dream but it came rushing back now.

The dream was so vivid that Sarah thought it might have been a memory. It had begun shortly after the imaginary adventure and had not stopped for years. They had been standing at the entrance to the Labyrinth together gazing at the maze and the hill it stood upon. In the distance, his castle rose towering over the valley below and Sarah thought she saw movement in it. Her eyes had lifted to find Jareth gazing down at her with an odd look in his eyes; he had not expected her to be there.

Jareth's lips were moving and she stood on tiptoe to capture each world from them. The wind was rushing past Sarah's ears and she could not make out what he was saying though she strained to. And then his eyes had turned from her to sweep back across the Labyrinth as a hand lifted to point toward the castle. For months the dream had gone on and not once had Sarah been able to understand what it was he had been trying to tell her. There was always the memory of other words to take their place.

Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave.

It was hard to image that the villain of Sarah's dreams had given her the greatest of adventures. Jareth had spun everything that she desired in to a single night and Sarah had spurned him for it. How many mysterious places had she seen during those thirteen hours? There had been adventure, danger and companions to help her through it all. Now, as she looked back over that remembered fantasy, Sarah could see the truth of it. He had catered to her every whim; there had been no promise made that Jareth had not delivered.

I've brought you a gift. It's a crystal, nothing more, but if you turn it this way, and look into it, it'll show you your dreams.

And in the end, just as he'd promised, he had let her go. There was disappointment in Jareth's eyes as she had watched him fade away. That look had haunted her for a long time afterward though Sarah had been too young to understand why. He had let her go and she had done nothing to repay the debt she owed him. Sarah wondered who the villain had actually been, Jareth or herself.

I have been generous until now, but I can be cruel.

Oh, yes, Jareth had been cruel. He had plotted, tricked and double crossed until his world ended but there had been no regret. Sarah had taken all that he had offered her until Jareth had nothing more to give; nothing more to offer. When he had asked for one small favor in return, one small boon, Sarah had denied him even that. No wonder there had been disappointment in his eyes while the world had fallen down around him. She felt the weight of his disappointment now.

It was easy to fall back and say that Jareth had been cruel. That was the part she had asked him to play and he'd played it so well. Sarah had never doubted that any evil or darkness in the Labyrinth had been his. For months after she'd returned home every creak or shadow had been Jareth's fault. What of her faults then? What damage had that little adventure cost the creatures of the Labyrinth? Jareth was still King and their defiance must still have punishment. How long after the adventure had her friends stopped appearing in the mirror?

Her eyes flickered to the mirror to gaze deep within it once more. It seemed so long ago now, but she wondered where the time had gone. Sarah had forgotten about that other life. She had long since buried deep thoughts of the Labyrinth. Dr. Thomas had made certain of that and anything else discounted as dreams. At least, Sarah thought they had been dreams but there was always that lingering doubt nagging at her.

"What kind of thought is that, Sarah? It was a dream."

It was easy to chide herself at the notion. She had had so much practice at berating herself for having those sorts of flights of fancy. Dr. Thomas had called it dis-associative behavior to intermix her dreams with reality. No, they were dreams and it was okay to dream but not to forget what was real. Sarah had been babysitting Toby that night and this was all a story she'd made up to pass the time.

The image hovered at the edge of her mirror of a tall, fair man with blond hair tumbling about his shoulders. There was sunlight cascading in behind him and Sarah almost thought it made him glow in the dim of the room. An odd little grin twisted the man's lips as piercing blue eyes stared down in to hers; the gleam in them devilish. He would get what he wanted no matter the cost; his look told her so.

The carriage of his shoulders said that the man was powerful and his wrath great. Yet, the softness in those eyes said that at a word he would give it all up for the woman before him; just say she was his. That was something she had not been able to do last time for him; she had not given herself. She had been too young to understand. He moved and Sarah felt his weight depress the edge of her mattress as slender fingers stretched out to her.

"Sarah. . ."