Note: Shorter chapter, but it's mainly conversation so longer would probably have been a bit too much talking :)
This one will give a lot of answers, I hope I got their point of views consistent. Now that this part is done, there will be a lot more focus on situations.
Thank you so much for the reviews, I got a bunch of them in the last hour, I can't reply individually to all of them but know that your help is amazing, and I'm really happy to be sharing this story with you, that means a lot to me to somehow know that I could stir specific feelings out of you through my chapters. And 'guest' is totally right, all writers need to write out of their comfort zone :)
I owe my improvement to you all, and I can never be grateful enough with words, but the feeling is there for sure.
I know I promised daily updates, but stuff happens and they may be delayed (although I will try to post two chapters the same day if I wasn't able to post the previous day), so if you want to be kept updated on everything that happens, delays, next posting times etc, please join my Facebook page, it's easier to stay in touch this way (and don't forget to check it since not all the updates show in feeds, thanks to Facebook's stupid selection.) The link is on my profile.
"What about giving something for free for once, Mello?"
The blond frowned. He didn't like that. But now that his curiosity was picked by Matt's arguments, he wanted to have this conversation as well, just to see if it could be as entertaining as his previous talks with the guy...
Exiting the bathroom, he walked downstairs and stopped, waiting for Matt to join him.
"Guys, I'll be right back, finish breakfast, we won't be long!"
He resumed walking, toward his apartments this time.
The boys seemed pretty disappointed, seeing that Matt got favors they didn't get once again.
Lou huffed. "I don't care, once he'll have gotten him, he will eliminate him and come back to me!"
"Maybe he's all over Matt because he wasn't satisfied with you, Cry Baby, I didn't see him being really enthralled by your abilities since the one night you spent with him." Catwalk threw at him in a despising tone, the petite boy's lips starting to quiver already.
"They won't have sex! He said they wouldn't be long. I'm at a good place to know how long it takes for that with Mello!" Lou stuck out his tongue at the model and went back to the kitchen.
Mello entered in his apartments, letting Matt follow him and close the door. He sat on one of the three small steps leading to the platform where his bed resided, inviting Matt to sit on the carpeted area beside him.
"Fire up." he offered, wanting to see where the redhead was going.
"Why are you trying so hard? With me I mean. I'm not stupid, I can see that you're favoring me in the challenges, that you're way more after me than the others, and you said it yourself, you wouldn't do as much for anyone else. So is it just that I'm the first one to resist you or is there something more?"
Mello didn't want to reply to that. His first reaction would be to give Matt a cold shower and erase all thoughts that he had something special, because that's what he did, what he was, the cold hearted bastard always mocking everyone. But Matt probably had something special indeed if the words that Mello was naturally bound to utter had died in his throat so easily right now.
"You're one of the first to resist me, that's true."
"Really? I take it that it means someone else resisted you before, so what did you do? Did you act the same with them as you act with me?"
"No, but that's not the point."
"I beg to differ, it's exactly the point."
"I have no intention of telling you that."
"You said you'd be honest."
"You asked me to be, I never said I would. And I'm not being dishonest anyway, I'm just telling you that this is something I'll keep for myself."
"Okay, fair enough... but you can get all the sex you want with Lou, and probably all the others too, so I take it that it's only for the challenge that you're trying so hard? You just can't stand to lose?"
"I don't care for Lou."
"You're not replying to my question."
Mello sighed. He wasn't exactly annoyed by the questioning, but he didn't know what to say. It was kind of a premiere, but his usual retort was lost somewhere in the back of his mind, and without that, all he could say felt a little too unsettling for him.
"If you don't want to reply it's fine, but you told me you were more of the straightforward type of guy so I thought I would get answers, not get you confused, because that's the feeling I get from you right now..."
"I'm not confused. But I don't want to make it sound like I care for you. You could take it the wrong way, with your tendency to be all romantic and stuff." Mello finally chuckled, releasing the tension. There. He hadn't said anything compromising, but he still gave an answer.
"Heh, can't help it, that's the way I am." Matt smiled, "But since you don't care for Lou although he would provide you as much ass as you want, and you're after me although I don't give you anything, I can hardly believe it's just challenging you to try to get me. It sounds wrong. What if I never give you anything? You could be losing your time for nothing right now."
"It doesn't feel like I'm losing my time, so I don't really care for that aspect of things."
"So it's just entertainment for you, no matter if I end up in your bed or not?"
"Yes, and no."
"Talk about being straightforward! Yes, but no, and maybe? Can you be even less clear?" the redhead laughed.
Mello laughed as well, of course he wasn't making it clear. Matt's trials at having a conversation were forcing him to analyse his own behaviour, a thing that never happened with Danny, the only other whom he had that kind of conversations with.
With his right hand man, it was always more of a scolding, and he would simply dig his heels in and dismiss anything he was said. He was impulsive, and having to think twice about what to say was not a habit of his.
Maybe Matt was manipulating him, because it felt so easy to talk to him...
"I don't think you're exactly what you want us to believe. Sometimes I get tricked and I feel like you're just a sweet guy, and we had nice conversations, we even had some fun, but I hardly can decipher why you're here, I mean, there is no logic in what you do, why you stay. Of course I feel challenged when you tell me that you won't give me what I want, but the main reason why I push you past the boundaries that you're setting and try to break them, playing you as you say, is that I'm pretty sure you'll be exposing your real motives at some point."
"Is that really what you think? Damn... I didn't expect anything like that to be honest, because I've never been taken for a manipulative or calculating person before... I don't even know what to say, I suppose that denying won't help in any way..."
"There's still a part of me that wants to be wrong, but I don't think I am. That's the way people are."
Matt realised suddenly that they were both doing exactly the same thing. Damn, it wouldn't be easy to sort things out, it was even worse than he thought. Of course, he had now the beginning of an explanation, but if they were both trying to see through the other, expecting the good, but convinced that the final result would only be bad, then progress wouldn't come with a simple conversation.
"That's not the way I am. But these are only words and I can understand that it's difficult for you to believe me if you've never met anyone that wasn't here to use you. But the reason why I refused your money is because that simple act, giving me enough so I could sustain myself for months, just like that, out of the blue, I had a glimpse of what I want to see in you. I don't believe in all black or all white, I'm not perfect and I'm not a hundred per cent a good guy, but then I'm convinced that you're not a hundred percent a bad guy either."
"So you're expecting something from me."
"I am, but not like that. I'm not a savior and I'm not here to make you see that there are people that are genuine, and I'm not here to change you. You don't need a change, the good guy is already there and I strongly believe in that theory, and that's the only reason why I'm still here. Because I'm probably the only person here with whom you don't have to wear that attitude of yours all the time. I won't steal pictures of you in compromising situations, I won't repeat what you tell me, I will tell you when you hurt me or are being an asshole, I won't give you excuses for being that way just because you're Mello the rockstar, I will talk to you and have fun with you if you want to, and respect me, and I'm probably the most patient guy on this planet so you have all the time in the world to drop the façade, I don't expect you to do it right now out of a sudden enlightenment at my words."
"That was quite the speech." Mello teased him.
"You really can't help it." Matt pushed his shoulder, laughing. That was gonna be a hard nut to crack... but he thought he had gotten his point across pretty nicely.
"So I should take your presence here as some kind of test dummy offering?"
"I'm not sure I would have worded it like that but yeah, I guess."
"Would you sign a contract about non disclosure of anything happening with you and me?"
"You like your papers, don't you?"
"My trust is very limited."
"I'd say non existent." Matt chuckled, "But if that's what you want, no problem."
Something told Matt that Mello was losing his self protection and tried to parade it with said contract. If it made him feel safe, Matt would sign it, it wouldn't change anything on his part.
"What do you want in return? I mean, in the eventuality that what you see of me is good enough that you're feeling you were right."
"I suppose that being right will be enough."
Mello looked at him, puzzled.
"I won't explain that to you, if you don't understand by yourself it just proves to me that there's a huge gap to cross between us, but I can only wait for you on the other side, at some point you'll have to decide if you stay on yours or dive head first without a life-belt."
For the first time, Matt saw indecision and real confusion in Mello's eyes. It did something to his heart.
It felt like talking to a kid sometimes, because Mello had no clue about real life, no matter how much he thought that his life was real life. He was just stuck in a bubble and it wasn't even a good environment for him.
"To be honest, I didn't expect you to open up like that. I was pretty sure you would just make fun of me." Matt, smiled, standing up.
Mello left the spot he was sat on to join Matt at the door. The boys were still waiting for them.
"The contract is retroactive." he winked.
"I haven't signed anything yet." Matt replied with a smirk, but he clearly saw a shadow of anxiety in the musician's eyes before the attitude was back.
"Then I will have to spread dirty lies about you to discredit you." he poked Matt's chest, grinning.
"Oh no! Please don't tell anyone that I have a fetish for guys dressed as an ostrich!" the redhead laughed out loud. He made fun of the situation, but he wasn't quite sure that Mello wouldn't do just that, should he fuck up.
Danny had said that he was here to protect Mello, but Matt had the feeling that even if Mello might trust him, Danny was by no means a safe anchor for him, more like a band-aid that covers the shit after it happens. He couldn't blame Danny, Mello was a lot to handle and he also loved his music career, so taking him out of this environment wasn't probably an option. It was the people around him that had to be different, or at least balance the suckers with a good amount of friends. Real ones.
Before opening the door, Matt turned around.
"I didn't want to give you an incentive to convince you to have this conversation with me because that's not how things should work." he grabbed Mello's face between his palms, and kissed his lips softly, "But I still can give you a reward for doing so."
Mello stood still, glued to the ground, as he watched Matt leave his apartments.