Title: A Faded Memory

Author: Devlyne (Originally published as BelleAngeli)

Published: 11/4/2015

Disclaimer: I do not own Labyrinth, Jareth or Sarah. Nor do I in any way resemble Jim Henson, The Jim Henson Company, Henson Creature Shop or Disney. I do own Chris but I wish I didn't.

A/N: Apologies for the delay; I've been very busy with work and it's left me uninspired. Updates will be slow though I am working on multiple chapters at once; also the dialogue gave me difficulty. I had to re-write bits of it.

Chapter 9: A Choice Made of Choices

Jareth was staring. He understood 'after lunch' to mean exactly that; they would speak as soon as Sarah had eaten. She had meant for the conversation not to happen right away which would give her time to think. Unfortunately, Jareth was not distracted by the other topics she'd brought up. He wanted to speak about this and only this. She sighed and gave in to the inevitable.

"What would I do in Underground?" Sarah asked, tucking her hair behind one ear in a nervous gesture.

Do? Well that question seemed to provide a significant enough distraction for him. The idea that Sarah might have to do anything left Jareth gaping a moment before he composed himself. Part of Sarah hated to see when he drew that aloofness on like a shroud, hiding beneath it and his arrogance. Why couldn't the men in her life be normal? Chris had been normal, she reminded herself. Normal had turned out to be boring or not enough to keep her focused on it, at least.

Jareth opened his mouth to reply, and then shut it again. This happened at least twice before he managed to reply to her query. "Do? You would be my guest. I haven't had a guest in so long. We could have a ball if you want; you remember the last one?" His lips turned upward at the return of that fond memory of Sarah in his arms as they danced. "And then there is the Labyrinth which is always a pretty walk this time of year or the Bog, if you prefer." It wasn't, but he would make it pretty for her.

"No, Jareth, I mean what would I do for an occupation? A job?" She interjected into his ramble, seeing that he had misunderstood. People in Underground had jobs, right? Sarah remembered the goblins lying about the throne room and town sleeping.

"Sarah, you are going to be my guest. You are coming to Underground to relax and …" To what, Jareth wondered; regain herself? How would he say that kindly enough not to offend her? He recalled a teenager Sarah who got offended by the smallest slight and had no wish to go back to that. That was a recipe for a headache Jareth had no wish to revisit; the Fates save him from stubborn females.

Sarah leaned forward on her stool to watch the emotions flickering across the man's face. "And?" The root of her distrust was always in the buts or ands which hung after sentences. It was often a phantom and never explored but she could hear it hanging there.

"And be yourself again." He continued, at last, eyes flickering to her face. He was uncertain what he expected to see there; perhaps hoping for some sign of what mood his words had put her in. There was nothing and Jareth drew in a deep breath to steel himself.

He found no reassurance in her silence, only anxiety and anticipation. The cup on the counter before him played with as a distraction so that he did not have to look up at her. Would she say nothing to ease his anxieties? He began to weigh the likelihood of her reactions. At best, Sarah might go off on a tirade about what was so wrong with being different. At worst, she might storm out or tell him to leave. There was no middle ground in how he thought she might react. Jareth began to question to himself why he felt that way. She was not so unyielding except when her eye was on a single prize.

"You're expecting me to argue with you." Sarah murmured, at last, as she slid off of her stool to refresh her cup of coffee. "You're expecting me to tell you that I'm still me. And maybe a year ago, or two or three, I might have. I know I'm not, Jareth. That's why I'm willing to listen to you. I can feel something missing and that I feel different. I just…" Her words trailing off as she tipped head back to gaze at the ceiling in thought.

She didn't know what it was that made her feel so different. There was some sort of void inside of her that she couldn't quite fill. "I had the most wonderful offer from Christopher last night." Because Jareth deserved to know what had happened, didn't he? "He's accepted an offer of a new job in another city and he wants me to come with him. It's perfect; the chance to marry this wonderful man and help him build his career only..." That was another word Sarah didn't like, adding it to the list of ands and buts in her mind.

"Only?" Jareth prompted, wanting her to continue the thought.

Sarah let out a sigh before continuing, "Only it felt wrong, Jareth. It felt like he was asking me to give up everything here and have nothing of my own. He wasn't. He was offering to be my husband and to give me a household to run, but that seems so old fashioned. I have a career at the museum. I'm not a director yet; I haven't been here long enough or worked hard enough yet. I could be, someday, but right now I work with the children's groups that come through. I like that work. I enjoy it. The idea of giving that up to help him with his career leaves me torn between feeling selfish and angry."

It wouldn't make sense to Jareth, Sarah was certain. Her impression of him was that he came from a time when women were bought and sold as chattel. Maybe it was an unfair assumption, but she'd seen no other women during her time in Underground. His style of dress reminded her of books she'd seen on the Dark Ages and Renaissance. Everyone knew how that had turned out for women. So, in her mind, he wouldn't understand what she was so upset about. He didn't understand why she wanted to have a job; wasn't this the same?

Now Sarah was uncomfortable with the silence, much as Jareth had been earlier. He was gazing down at the coffee mug caught between his hands, brow knitted and lips turned down. It was a thoughtful look and she wondered what it meant. Would he affirm that she was being selfish by not supporting this man who had been so good to her? Doubt crept in to Sarah's mind which returned to her memories of the night before and Chris' demands to her.

Jareth's voice was soft when he spoke. "Forgive me if I wax poetic and give you a cheesy line, as it were. If you loved this man, would you be having all these doubts? If you truly felt that he was the one and only, I would think that you would have jumped on the chance to be his wife. Of course, my memory of you is a jaded, given that you were what, fifteen, sixteen, when you told me to go to hell?"

And there was the truth of it: Sarah had had no problem telling Jareth to go away when she'd thought she felt nothing for him. Wasn't that what she'd complained about to herself last night? That despite Chris' demands and she'd felt nothing about losing the relationship. Sarah had been more upset realizing that she had lost some vital part of herself and Chris could not fill it. Damn; Jareth always had a way of seeing right through her.

"I don't like when you do that, Jareth." Sarah murmured. She lifted her cup to her lips and sipped at the warm coffee. "It makes you sound like you have sense. It throws me off balance."

He wasn't certain whether he was insulted by being accused of having sense or the lack of it. Still, it brought a small smile to Jareth's lips and his eyes rolled. "I don't like it when you sulk and stamp your foot like a child while screaming 'it's not fair'. We both have personality flaws." He quipped in return. "I imagine we'll find many more in each other if we spend much time together."

If, because Jareth didn't know if Sarah was any closer to her decision. He was, maybe, rushing the entire decision a little bit. In that way, at least, Sarah and Jareth were much alike. Once they were focused on an issue, they pushed for the resolution they saw as right. Sarah returning to the Underground and regaining even a small piece of her former self was the only right way. And if Jareth had to push her to get there, well, he was more than willing to take that task on. She had to come back because he couldn't imagine her not doing so.

"You still haven't answered my question about what I would do while I was there." Her hand waved to stall him from interrupting her. "Yes, you've offered a few suggestions and activities, but what am I going to do?"

By the Fates, what did the woman want, an itinerary? Jareth laughed at the absurd notion a moment before shaking his head. "Are you stalling because you so desperately want to say yes that you're afraid it's going too fast? That's it, isn't it, Sarah? You were so quick to say no to your Christopher last night. And here I show up with an offer, and you want to say yes immediately, don't you?"

Sarah was fearful of the triumphant look which had settled on Jareth's face. That was, as he put it, the root of the problem though, wasn't it? She had been so quick to say no to Chris last night and then this morning Jareth offers to take her away and she was ready to go. It felt too fast and too rushed. Hadn't she only just told Christ that she didn't want to jump in with both feet? And here Sarah was contemplating doing exactly that just a few hours later. Damn Jareth; he'd done it again. Was she really so transparent to him?

"Well, it does feel fast. I mean, just last night I turned Chris down and then today you're here and I'm going 'wee, to the Underground'. I have that nagging feeling that I'm doing something wrong and at the same time, I feel…light." Her hands had been in constant motion during this. Her coffee splattering a cabinet and dripping to the floor as the cup sloshed about. "Damn." The cup set on the counter as she started to clean up the mess with napkins.

That earlier ache returned to Jareth's chest as she fluttered about the kitchen. She was a broken woman before him and still he saw the parts of her that were whole and undamaged. This was something that he could most definitely fix if she would go with him. And hadn't she said that she wanted to? Sarah wanted to return to the Underground but her doubts and insecurities were monumental. His hand moved over his hair a moment and eyes flickered this way and that. Jareth needed something to focus on so that he could gather his thoughts.

He words were chosen carefully and spoken softly. "A few hours might be, yes, too fast. It is a large decision." Those blue eyes focusing at last on Sarah; he reminded himself of the promise to make her believe. That would not be done with boldness and quick action, but by reassurance and time. "And you have affairs to set in order, your job to take care of. There are many parts to this choice; I could take you away forever, as I want to. Or I could agree to take you for a time, and then return you here." Not an option he liked, but one Jareth was willing to do for her.

"If I agree to take you for a time and then return you here, you will have to have something to come back to. So, burning the bridge with your job and friends would be a bad idea." He continued that line of thought in his head a moment; he didn't care if she burnt that bridge, but she might. "So, the first decision is whether you want to go forever, just for a time, or as a trial. If you decide the second or third option, then there is work to be done before we can leave. If it's the first, I'll set the apartment on fire as we leave." A devilish smile returning to his lips; there was the playful Goblin King.

He left his seat at the bar and came around it in to the kitchen to take her hands. "What I think you should do, right now, is stop playing sick. Go to work, see your friends, spend some time away from me and think about what you want to do. It pains me to say that, I assure you. I want to grab you up and whisk you away, but that would make neither of us happy. I tried it once before," His voice soft at this admission. "Go get dressed and go to work. I'll be here when you get back."

Jareth's hands left hers and he moved away to give Sarah space. Trust, he was trying to build trust with her and this was the way to do it. He had to show her that he had grown and learned in the time she'd been away. It was painful and Jareth wanted to turn from the path but he kept on it. Sarah gazed after him but at last took his advice. She dressed and went to work, leaving Jareth to play with her television. Sarah was sure that would be a mistake as images of the apartment on fire flickered through her mind. Jareth and technology; who would win?