Returning to work turned out to be more of a disaster than either woman thought it would be. Initially, there was no need for either of them to work considering the large lump sum of money that was left to them to take care of the kids but as the days dragged on, both started to crave something more than changing diapers and feeding the kids.
So Olivia had returned to work and Alex had tried to as well, but neither felt comfortable enough leaving the kids with a babysitter, especially after Ben's breakdown. Olivia winced as she thought back to Ben crying out hysterically.
"No! No, no, no, no, NO!" Ben cried as he stomped around the room, running from the young woman standing between Olivia and Alex.
"Ben, stop that right now and come here," Alex demanded as she stared down the little boy, secretly practicing her court room glare in hopes of returning soon.
"NO!" He stomped around a few more times before dodging Olivia's attempt to corral him.
"Benjamin Tyler Dumont, you will stop this immediately and come here like a good boy," Olivia commanded, immediately stopping the boy dead in his tracks. He looked up at Olivia with wide eyes at the use of his full name.
He continued staring at Olivia for a few seconds before turning to Alex with pleading eyes. "Auntie Lexie…"
"You heard her, Ben," Alex replied as she glanced over to Olivia. The little boy pouted and walked over to Olivia very slowly.
"Now introduce yourself, Ben." Instead, he frowned, refusing to say anything to the redhead. He eyed her up for a few seconds longer before plopping down onto the ground and crossing his arms over his chest. "Fine, if you don't want to introduce yourself, that's okay. We'll be going now," Olivia lied as she turned to Alex, trying to get her to play along.
They wouldn't actually leave Ben with a new babysitter without getting him comfortable with her but she figured that threatening to leave would provide him with some incentive to do as he was told. The blonde nodded and followed Olivia to the door, only to hear a hysterical cry.
"NO! DON' LEAB ME!" Before Olivia could even touch the door handle, Ben was attached to her ankle, one hand grasping the back of Alex's calf. "PLEASE! I'm sorry! Don' leab me like mom n' daddy!"
Oh. Both women were immediately overwhelmed with guilt as they tried to assure the boy that they would never leave him. Since Olivia couldn't kneel down, Alex crouched to Ben's height and tried to talk him into letting go of Olivia.
"Benjie, buddy, we're not going to leave you, okay? We just want you to meet Ms. Hartford. She's really nice and has a nephew just about your age. Maybe you two can even have a playdate someday but you have to introduce yourself first, buddy. You have to meet new people," Alex tried to tell him, only to have him release Olivia's leg and jump into the blonde's arms.
"But I have you n' Auntie Livia n' Lexie. I don' wanna meet anybody more." Ben pouted as he wrapped his little arms around Alex's neck and clung tightly to her as she stood up.
"Even if she knows how to make yummy chocolate chip cookies?" Ben paused for a moment, eyeing up the redhead stranger in his house before turning back to Olivia.
"Auntie Livia makes da bess cookies." Olivia chuckled as she walked over to Ben and rubbed his back.
"Alright Benjie, how about you say hi to Ms. Hartford and then she'll leave." He nodded vigorously. "BUT, she will be coming back." That made him frown.
"When she leabs will you make me cookies?" Olivia laughed before nodding. "Choc-lit chip?" She nodded again, causing him to drop down onto the ground before walking over hesitantly to Ms. Hartford.
"Hi," He mumbled as he crossed his legs and fiddled with his hands.
"Hi, Ben. How old are you?" She asked, clearly trying to engage the boy in conversation. He held up two fingers before looking toward Olivia. "My name is Ms. Hartford but you can call me Emily. Can you say that for me?"
He looked back at her and pursed his lips. "Hi Emily." He ran back to Olivia and looked up at her expectantly. "Cookies now?"
That had been the end to their first attempt at getting Ben used to a babysitter. They had even talked to Dr. Marks about it and he said it was normal for Ben to feel abandoned after his parents left and that it might take a year for him to become comfortable with being left alone, but even then not for long periods of time.
So they had compromised, and after much debating, Alex had agreed to let Olivia go back to work while she worked from home, mainly helping her coworkers prepare their court cases and organizing far too much paperwork for other ADAs. It worked well, at least until Olivia started falling back into her normal routine of working overtime and arriving home far too late for Alex's liking.
When Olivia arrived home at closer to midnight, she didn't expect Alex to be waiting for her on the couch, or at least attempting to wait for her. She set down her keys quietly and locked the door before silently trekking over to the passed out blonde.
She frowned as she circled the couch and saw the dark red stain on Alex's once white shirt illuminated from the lamp that was still on. Her cheek was squished by her hand which was propping up her head as she leaned into the couch, her legs partially sprawled out.
Brown eyes trailed down long legs, only pausing to come upon more red stains, only this time they looked more like dozens of small cuts lining pale legs. Olivia frowned as she kneeled down in front of Alex and ran her fingers across the red marks, trying to see if they were actually in flesh or on the surface. She felt the ridges underneath her fingers just as Alex jolted awake.
"Liv…" Alex rubbed her noticeably sunken in eyes, dark bags clinging underneath them.
"Hey, what happened to your legs?"
The blonde blinked a couple of times before rubbing her eyes. She immediately jerked away from the detective's touch and stood up, only to wobble a bit before steadying herself. "Well you'd know if you answered your damn phone," She spat out, her face set in stone.
"What?" Olivia blinked in confusion. "My phone died, sorry, I was out dealing with an investigation so I didn't have time to charge it. What happened, Alex? You look like hell."
"Gee thanks, you sure do know how to make a girl feel good about herself," Alex stated sarcastically as she turned away from Olivia and started to leave the room. "Next time don't even bother coming back here if you don't want to act like a damn family."
"Alex, wait, what?" Olivia stood up immediately and jogged after the blonde, catching her arm to turn her around. "I'm sorry I didn't answer my phone but that still doesn't explain why your legs are all cut up and your shirt is…stained."
The ADA pulled away from Olivia's touch like she was burned. "That would be wine, Olivia. Maybe you'd know that if you answered your fu—" Alex huffed as she glanced back at Ben's partially closed door before lowering her voice. "Next time answer your fucking phone."
With wide eyes, Olivia stalked after Alex, following her into her bedroom. "Alex, I already told you my phone died! I'm sorry I was out all day but there was no way for me to charge it because I left the charger here."
The blonde scoffed before spinning around. "So what? You expect me to believe that you don't have an emergency charger at work in case you have to pull a double? Don't bullshit me, Olivia, I work with cops for a living. Lying assholes like you."
"Whoa, whoa, don't take this out on me," Olivia growled as she caught onto Alex's arm. "And those are my brothers and sisters that you're talking about so watch it."
"Or what? Going to arrest me and take the only parent those two children have?" Alex screamed out, this time not caring about her sound level as she pointed towards Ben's room.
Olivia took a step back in surprise, releasing her hold on Alex, as a look of hurt crossed her features. "The only parent those two have?" She whispered.
"Yes, the only damn parent those two have because you're too fucking busy with you job to care about them or me! You want to know what happened? Ben was crying because Lexie was crying and she wouldn't stop, all day long. So finally when she stopped and fell asleep I decided to pour myself a glass of wine to wind down a bit only to have Ben start crying again because his Auntie Olivia was never home anymore.
"Then he threw a temper tantrum like he always does when he doesn't get his way and started hitting me and I dropped the wine glass right next to him. Of course my only thought was to care for him just like that should be your only thought so I dropped down onto my knees and picked him up. So that's why I have glass cuts all over my legs and wine all over my shirt and you would've know that if you just answered your fucking phone!"
Olivia bit her lip. "I'm sorry Alex but I don't know what you want from me."
"To be the fucking mother that you promised you would be!" Alex cried out, only to wake Lexie who emitted a high pitched scream. "God dammit." The blonde ran her hands through her hand and pulled in frustration.
"Hey, stop that." Olivia grabbed onto her hands and pried them away from blonde hair. "Alex, stop it, you're upsetting Lexie."
"Well I can't seem to do anything right, now can I?" Alex spat out as she pulled away from Olivia and walked over to Lexie, swaying only to steady herself on the crib.
"Alex." Olivia walked over to her and turned the blonde around before leaning closer to her until their faces were mere inches apart. Blue eyes widened as they took in concerned brown orbs. Olivia leaned in an inch closer, her eyes closing and she inhaled deeply before sighing. "God you smell like wine. How much did you drink?"
Alex immediately pulled out of Olivia's arms. "Don't you dare do this to me! Don't you dare accuse me of—of—you can go screw yourself! You're supposed to be my damn—whatever the hell you're supposed to be but instead you're too busy working to even care about me or them! So what I drank a couple glasses of wine. My—my partner in this relationship was too busy to answer her damn phone. You were too busy to care about me so can you blame me for wanting to drink?"
"Alright, you're going to bed," Olivia stated as she grabbed onto Alex's arms much like she would to a petulant child.
"Don't you touch me!" Alex cried out as she tried to pull out of Olivia's touch, only to have her push her down onto the bed as she stumbled to remain upright.
"Alex, stop it!" The brunette pinned her down against the bed and held her gaze. "You're making Lexie cry because you keep yelling! Now lie down and stop fighting me." Alex bit her lip as she tried to quell the anger rising in her as Olivia held her firmly against the bed. She stayed that way, unmoving and unspeaking until the brunette released her hold and walked over to Lexie, picking up the crying girl in an attempt to soothe her.
Alex stayed on the bed, watching Olivia calm down the little girl before she rolled over away from the brunette, burying her head into her pillow. She felt ridiculous, yelling at Olivia the way she did, but inside she was dying. She wasn't sure how much more of Ben's temper tantrums and Lexie's screaming she'd be able to handle until she cracked.
She didn't even have the effort to remove her wine covered blouse or take off her pencil skirt. Instead, she pulled her pillow tighter to her body and tried not to cry, a failed attempt at that. Minutes ticked by as Olivia hummed softly to Lexie, no doubt rocking the little girl soothingly as she did so. Somehow Olivia always seemed to know how to calm her down.
A few more minutes ticked by, or maybe it was hours, but Alex could hear her blood pounding in her head as her intoxicated state hit her and sinus pressure from crying increased. She could faintly hear Olivia whispering her name but her eyes were so heavy and she didn't want to move an inch.
The detective sighed as she watched over the blonde before walking over to her drawers and pulling out an oversized shirt. "Alex," She tried again, watching as the blonde pulled the pillow even tighter to her body. She took a deep breath before sitting down on the side of Alex's bed and searching for her zipper.
With a little bit of effort, she found it and pulled it down before guiding the wrinkled skirt down pale legs. She set it to the side before turning Alex onto her back gently. "Come on Alex, lean up for me so we can get you into something that doesn't smell like alcohol." The blonde weakly leaned up, just enough so that Olivia could unbutton her shirt and push it off of her shoulders while supporting her up.
With one hand keeping Alex's back steady, the other grabbed onto her shirt before guiding it over her head. It took a few attempts but she finally managed to pull the shirt over Alex's chest but not on her arms yet. She held the blonde against her as she unclasped her bra and pulled it down her shoulders while looking at the wall so that she wouldn't invade Alex's privacy.
With a bit more effort, she managed to get Alex's arms into the sleeves of the shirt before pulling it down around her waist. The half-asleep blonde collapsed back onto the mattress, moaning softly as she pulled the pillow back to her body.
Olivia ran a hand through her hair as she examined Alex before pulling her phone out. She sent a quick text to Elliot and Cragen telling them that she wouldn't be going in to work tomorrow before pocketing her phone once more. "I'm sor—sorry."
Olivia paused as she glanced back at the shaking body. She sat down on the edge of the bed and ran her hand soothingly across her back. "It's okay, Alex. Just go to sleep. I promise you'll feel much better in the morning."
"Sorry," Alex mumbled once more, her body twitching slightly before stilling again. "Don't…please don't leave me." Olivia wasn't sure if that was a general statement or a plea for her not to leave the room right now. She stayed there for a few minutes longer, rubbing Alex's back and gently running her hand over the blonde's forehead with a gentle touch.
Blue eyes fluttered open just for a moment. "Don't leave me alone."
Olivia smiled sadly as she leaned down and pressed a kiss to an overheated forehead. "Never. We're partners, remember?" Pale eyelids closed as Olivia pushed back blonde hairs and stroked a warm forehead.
She considered getting up and leaving but a churning in her gut wouldn't leave her alone so instead she kicked off her shoes and laid down next to the blonde and on top of her bed sheets so she wouldn't dirty Alex's bed.
She continued stroking Alex's forehead until both their breathing steadied and she was too tired to keep moving her arm.
Alex groggily woke the following morning with her head not pounding, oddly enough. She could faintly remember the events from the night before, but based on them, she knew she should have a hangover and that she should apologize immediately to Olivia.
But instead of a headache, she felt warm all over, and the sheets felt oddly smooth against her legs. She shifted slightly, only then realizing that she wasn't wearing pants and that warmth seemed to be the body of another human. To her surprise, she found a tanned face in front of her but that wasn't the source of the warmth that she was feeling.
The little tuft of brown hair sticking out from under the covers was. Alex smiled faintly as she pulled the covers down a bit to reveal Ben who was almost completely sprawled on top of Olivia's chest but somehow still pressed up against her front. She rubbed her eyes wearily as she adjusted to the light, admiring Olivia's darker complexion with the light peeking through her curtains.
She glanced over at the curtains before bolting up right in bed and scrambling to look at the clock. She squinted to read the bright green digits before reaching out for Olivia and shaking her. "Olivia, you're supposed to be at work…" She shook the detective again. "Olivia, you're late for work."
Brown eyes blinked open and stared at her in confusion. "I'm not going in today," Olivia murmured as she shifted slightly before closing her eyes once more. Alex stared at her in confusion, wondering if Olivia was aware of the fact that she was in her bed. Brown eyes flashed open once more. "Alex?" She blinked a couple of times before looking at her chest. "Ben?" She groaned softly as she stretched the best that she could with Ben still on her chest. "Sorry I fell asleep on your bed."
"It's okay, I'm really sorry about last night, Liv, I didn't—"
"Hey Alex?" Alex looked at her expectantly. "Can we maybe talk about this later when I'm conscious? It's too early." The blonde couldn't help but laugh softly as she nodded.
"Sure." She watched Olivia sleep for a few more minutes before slipping out of bed to tend to Lexie before she woke up. Once Lexie had a clean diaper and Alex confirmed that she wasn't hungry, she returned to bed, this time with Lexie. She was suddenly grateful that she ordered a California king because there was no way they'd all fit in a queen or even a king.