Chapter 16
Confessions
Dean squinted at the harsh sunlight that bored through the uncurtained windows, forcing him to wake up. He knew one thing for certain, and that was that his neck was extremely stiff and incredibly sore. As Dean's eyes adjusted to the light, he noticed that he was slumped against the arm of the couch with Parvati's head in his lap.
Well, Dean thought, that explains the sore neck. Sitting up and gingerly rubbing his neck so that it felt marginally better than what it had before, but still aching considerably, he looked down at Parvati. She was as she had fallen asleep last night, her head in his lap and one arm wrapped around him, the other around her stomach and there was a slight smile on her sleeping face. Dean wanted to kiss her then and there but knew that they were still just friends to her, that and it would wake her up.
But were they still just friends? Dean wondered, He had asked what he had been wanting to ask since Parvati got pregnant and Parvati had said yes, would anyone else say yes if he asked them and they purely considered each other as friends? Dean didn't think so. There was a small, tiny glimmer of hope that Parvati was possibly covering up a crush on him. Why would she approve of him asking to be the father of her child if she wasn't? Dean ran his hands through his hair in confusion; Parvati was giving him the biggest mixed signals in the history of mixed signals.
Sighing in exasperation, Dean gently shifted Parvati's head off of his lap and stood up. She shifted slightly and mumbled something before falling back into sleep again. Dean smiled down at her before turning and walking over to the desk by the door where he pulled out a piece of parchment and a quill and with a heavy heart, wrote the words he never would've guessed he would need to say.
Seamus,
It's been forever! How are you? Sorry I haven't been keeping in touch. There was this whole fiasco with Parvati as soon as you moved out and I've been really busy with work. How about you? How's it going with Lavender?
Now I really hate to do this because remember I told you that I knew girls inside out? Well, I don't know all girls inside out. Parvati just gave me the biggest mixed signals of my life and I don't know what it means, help?
You can come over today if you want to, we're not doing anything and Parvati hasn't seen Lavender for ages.
Dean.
Dean got up and walked over to the window, opening it as quietly as was possible and whistled softly for his owl, Owen, who stayed out of the house most of the time because muggles thought that it was weird for people to keep owls as pets.
Owen fluttered down from a nearby tree where he was roosting and nipped Dean's finger affectionately before sticking out his leg.
"Take this to Seamus for me, okay?" Dean said, stroking Owen's feathery head. Owen nipped Dean's finger again before turning around and taking flight. Dean watched the tawny fly away over the city until he was a tiny dot in the sky, drawing further and further away. Dean almost regretted Seamus moving to Reading to live with Lavender, they hardly saw each other now and Dean didn't want to admit it to himself, but he did miss Seamus. They had seen each other nearly every day for almost ten years and to have not seen him in such a long time made Dean feel as though he was missing a part of himself.
Okay, enough nostalgia. Dean scolded himself, moving away from the window and to the kitchen where he started to prepare breakfast to take his mind of everything. Unfortunately, he was unsuccessful and succeeded in burning the toast quite severely.
Sighing with frustration, Dean waved his wand at the fridge and then the cupboards and a bowl, a packet of Shreddies and some milk flew out and landed on the bench. At least he couldn't burn cereal. It hadn't been a very ideal start to the day so far.
Half way through his second bowl, he heard Parvati start to stir where she was lying and Dean immediately jumped up and walked over to her just as there was a tapping on the window. Dean looked up to see Owen standing there with a piece of parchment in his beak.
That had been fast!
He changed course right in the middle of his path and managed to trip over Padma's mattress, which he still hadn't packed up from last night when she had left. Swearing loudly as he hit the ground he heard a small giggle from behind him and when he finally sorted out which way was up, he saw Parvati looking at him from her position on the couch with a smirk on her face.
"It takes major skills to do that, Dean," she said sarcastically as Dean picked himself up and groaned.
"Oh hush," Dean joked, throwing her a playful glare, "I'm clumsy okay, what of it?"
"It's cute," she said with a smile, "Reminds me of when Isaac was trying to walk and he kept tripping over nothing."
Dean smiled at the thought. He had noticed how happy Parvati was when Isaac was around, how she seemed to calm down and her expression seemed to soften and she became more relaxed and carefree when she was playing with Isaac. Dean was almost sure that having her nephew here when she was going through such a tough time had helped her more than having himself or Padma there. It was like when people in the muggle world lost a child, they were given a dog to take their mind off it and fill the void that the deceased child had left and it was proven to help them. Maybe Isaac had been Parvati's void filler.
"You're going to be a great mother," Dean said before he could stop himself. He knew that he shouldn't mention anything about the baby or her being a mother unless she brought it up first because as far as he knew, she had never wanted children in the first place. Parvati smiled stiffly.
"I'm going to try my best," she said with a soft smile, "That's all I can do, right? Try my best?"
Dean smiled at her as he walked towards her and sat down, "You will do your best. I can tell."
Parvati's smile widened, "Well you'll help me won't you? Being the baby's honorary father and all?"
Dean took Parvati's hand in his again, "Of course I will," he said sincerely, "In fact, I would consider myself to be its actual dad, not just an honorary one."
Dean realised what he had said just seconds after he had said it and felt his cheeks blush scarlet. Why had he said that?! He'd really gone and blown it now. Parvati withdrew her hand from his quickly, as though she had been burned and her smile turned into an expression of stress and her brow knitted into a frown almost immediately.
"Shit," Dean said, "Parvati, I'm sorry, that did not come out the way I wanted it to."
"I- Dean," Parvati stammered and Dean could see that she was having trouble breathing as her breaths became faster and faster, Dean knew that if she couldn't control it that he would have to do something, and that might be a little harder now that he had so stupidly gone and told Parvati that he would not only like to help her raise a child, but he would like to raise the child as his own, as if they were together or something.
"Please don't hate me Parvati," he said, "I just had a moment of stupidness and I didn't know what to say, please. It didn't come out the right way!"
"Dean," Parvati said and Den could see her breathing slowing down to normal again, "I want to make something clear," she leaned forward and Dean did too, hoping against hope that she was going to press her lips against his, but all she did was whisper in his ear, "We are just friends, nothing more, nothing less, friends that always have each other's backs. You're helping me with my baby because you have my back and I can count on you."
Dean nodded quickly, trying not to let his disappointment show on his face. He was so confused right now. Parvati was the queen giver of mixed signals.
It was then that Dean realised why they had come to this discussion in the first place; his tripping over of Padma's mattress. He turned around to see Owen still waiting patiently at the window, persisting his constant tapping that Dean had learned to tune out until someone collected his mail. Dean stood up and opened the window, letting Owen flutter inside and drop the mail. Surprisingly there were two letters in the tawny owl's beak. Dean picked them up and unfolded the first as he stroked Owen's head. It was from Seamus.
Dean,
I'm good thanks mate! You should write more! Everything is going fine with Lav and we'd love to come see you today. Lavender keeps going on about how bored out of her brain she is so I put the idea to her and she seemed to love it. We have something to tell you both too.
Hate to say this man, but Parvati's been through a lot, do you really think it's time for you to want to make a move? Also, it might help if you told me what these mixed signals were so I could figure it out.
Hate to say this man, but Parvati's been through a lot, do you really think it's time for you to want to make a move? Also, it might help if you told me what these mixed signals were so I could figure it out and help you?
We were going to come over today as a matter of fact as a surprise for you and Parvati but you caught us on the way here. We took muggle transport because Lav has this condition where she can't apparate.
See you soon,
Seamus.
Dean's first thought was about how weird Seamus would've looked writing a letter on a muggle bus with a tawny owl flying outside the window, he laughed at the thought; Seamus was never a very subtle person, there were probably a lot of confused muggles around.
His second was the fact that Seamus and Lavender were going to be coming over in a matter of hour. Dean swore loudly and dropped the letter as he realised that the apartment was a complete mess. Waving his wand at Padma's belongings on the ground and levitating them neatly so that they rested on top of his cupboard that held all of his linen. He then set about putting cleaning charms on the rest of the kitchen so it didn't look like a hippogriff had tried to make breakfast that morning instead of a human with very low skills in making toast.
"What are you doing?" Parvati asked, watching him with interest.
"Seamus is coming over," Dean said, moving back out of the way of a flying plate and knocking over the packet of cereal, sending Shreddies everywhere. He swore loudly again as Parvati jumped up, her eyes wide with surprise.
"Seamus is coming over?" she asked, "With Lavender?"
"Yeah," Dean said as he waved his wand at the Shreddies which flew back into the packet and then into the cupboard. It was then the Dean realised why Parvati was looking so shocked. The last time she had seen Lavender was before her marriage; sure, Lavender had come to see Parvati in the hospital once or twice, but she hadn't seen her since she had gotten out, Dean could only imagine what was going through Parvati's head at the moment.
"Hey," He said, walking over to her and putting his hands on both of her shoulders, telling himself mentally that it was definitely something that a friend would do, "Don't panic, you're still beautiful."
Parvati opened her mouth to say something, before her face relaxed into a smile, "Thank you," she whispered, putting her arms around his waist and hugging him. Dean felt his heart fill with butterflies at her touch and wrapped his arms around her in return.
"I have no problems speaking the truth," Dean smiled. Parvati's smile widened.
"You're the best friend a girl could ever ask for," she smiled, "I don't think you realise how much I appreciate everything that you're doing for me."
"It's nothing," Dean said, "You've been through a lot and I want you to know that you can count on me whenever you need me."
"And you can count on me because I can count on you," Parvati said, "It's about time I started returning the favour."
"Hey," Dean said, "Parvati, how about we wait until after this baby comes. You can stay here as long as you want after its born."
Dean bit his tongue just before he said you can even live here forever if you want.
"Thank you," Parvati whispered, "Can I tell you something?"
"Anything," Dean said.
"I'm really scared," she said, "Scared that I won't be a good parent, scared that I won't have enough money to support the child; just scared in general."
"It's okay to be scared," Dean said, "It's what makes us human."
"You know what else makes us human?" Parvati said, "Pain. It's always there, hurting you and making you upset. That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."
Dean opened his mouth to reply, but at that very moment, Seamus and Lavender burst through the door, shouting their greetings at Dean and Parvati.
A smile broke out across Dean's face when he saw his best mate and his girlfriend.
"Hey, Seamus, Lavender, how are you guys?" he said jovially, shaking Seamus' hand and kissing Lavender on the cheek, "It's been forever!"
"Hey there mate," Seamus said with a grin as he put his arm around Lavender who had clapped a hand to her mouth upon seeing Parvati standing behind Dean in the kitchen. Dean's heart began to beat faster and harder as he realised that he hadn't thought to forewarn Seamus and Lavender about Parvati's surprise pregnancy.
He cleared his throat, "So, do you want tea? Or shall we go to Diagon Alley? I need to go there anyway, I'm almost out of sleeping potion ingredients and we've got to go and get Parvati a new wand."
Seamus laughed slightly, "Diagon Alley it is," he said, "But please, let's take the knight bus this time, those muggle buses are painfully slow."
Dean laughed before turning to Parvati who was looking apprehensive, "You right to go to Diagon Alley?"
Parvati smiled nervously under Lavender's shocked gaze, "Yeah," she said, "I'll just get dressed."
"Never again," Lavender said as the four of them got off the Knight Bus fifteen minutes later at the Leakey Cauldron , "No way, those Muggle buses may be ten times slower but that Knight Bus is a hazard!"
"Yeah, I'm going to have to agree with you there, Lavender," Dean said. He could feel bruises forming on his butt, shoulder and back from where he had fallen off his seat and slammed into the opposite wall.
"I need a coffee," Lavender said, taking off inside the Leakey Cauldron, "I don't care that it's disgusting, it's what I feel like right now."
"Well, you're not going to find it in there!" Seamus called after her, shaking his head, "You're going to have to go into Muggle London to find it!"
"For crying out loud," Lavender said, turning around and walking back to them, "Can't they sell it in there, it would make my life much easier."
"Are you joking?" Seamus said, "That shit is disgusting! If they put it in the Leakey Cauldron then they'd lose a load of money on stocking it. Nobody actually likes it."
"Okay I'll give you a point for that one," Lavender said before turning to Parvati, "Come on, we'll go find a place to sit down and have something to eat. I haven't seen you in ages."
Parvati started to shake her head, but felt Dean's hand on her arm, encouraging her to go with Lavender. She didn't feel safe outside. She hadn't felt safe outside since everything had happened with Theodore. She felt as though she was more vulnerable in the streets than she was in Dean's flat, which was saying something as she once had been attacked there.
"Come on," Lavender said, smiling at her as she started to walk off. Parvati looked up at Dean who nodded encouragingly at her, the look in his eyes telling her that Lavender wouldn't let any harm befall her. Parvati hitched a smile onto her face and walked off after Lavender.
"I'll see you in about an hour okay Lav?" Seamus called after her. She wheeled around and called back,
"Not if I see you first," and blew a kiss at him. Parvati smiled at the antics between the two of them.
"You two are a great couple," she remarked, "I wish I could be in a relationship like yours."
"Well," Lavender teased, "There's always Dean."
Parvati felt herself clam up as she thought of all of the romantic advances that Dean had unwillingly made on her since she had been living there, despite her being adamant that they just remained friends. She had found that she didn't mind it. She liked them almost, it was as if she had never lost her feelings for Dean after they had broken up in sixth year.
"No way," Parvati laughed, "He's just a friend."
"Oh come on," Lavender said, "Don't lapse into the friend zone again. It's got to be you two."
"We broke up," Parvati shrugged.
"Doesn't mean you can't get back together,"
"I'm pregnant,"
"I noticed."
"He's my ex, don't you think that's a bit weird?"
"Why are you being so adamant that you don't like him as a romantic partner?" Lavender said, stopping in her tracks and turning to look at Parvati.
"Because he still fancies me!" Parvati said, "He wants to get back together, I can tell."
"So let him," Lavender said, "It's what you want too, isn't it?"
"No!" Parvati said, "I like him as a friend, nothing more."
"Parvati you are the most terrible liar in the world," Lavender said, "Come on, tell me what the real reason is."
"It's because I'm not ready!" Parvati said, raising her voice a little higher than was necessary, "I'm not ready for a relationship right now Lav! I'm trying to recover from what happened before, I'm trying to battle the images that come to me every time I close my eyes, I'm pregnant and I'm trying not to think of what's going to happen when this baby comes. I didn't even want it in the first place!"
"So you do fancy him!" Lavender said, her tone triumphant. Parvati shot her a glare.
"Seriously, Lavender? I tell you everything that I'm suffering from in one go and the thing you take from it is the fact that I really do fancy Dean."
"Well it's true," Lavender said, in a matter of fact tone, "Admit it."
"Okay!" Parvati said, "I do still fancy him… just a little bit."
"I knew it," Lavender said, "It's always been you two."
"Now stop," Parvati said, "Like I said, I'm not ready; you have to promise not to tell Dean."
"Your secret is safe with me Par," Lavender smiled, "Also, while we're telling secrets, I figured I might tell you that I'm pregnant as well."
"What?" Parvati said, raising an eyebrow.
"Three months," she smiled. Parvati forced herself to beam and hug her best friend and fawn over what she was going to name the baby, but deep down she was hiding a burning jealousy because Lavender got to choose when she had her first child and Parvati didn't.
AN: Sorry that this is so late; My grandpa had to go to A&E because he fainted and sprained his ankle pretty badly so I was at a hospital all day and was reminded of how bad they smell.
I still have four spots left in my year of gifting if anyone wants them. All you have to do is PM me with your favourite pairings and I'll assign you to a week and you'll get a fic in that week of the year.
I hope you all like this chapter and I would really love it if you could leave me a comment in the box below :) I love feedback.
DFTBA,
Best Wishes
~The Original Horcrux~