Chapter 17
Changes

Confusion.

That was the first thing that came to mind for Dean when he looked into Parvati's eyes when they arrived back at their apartment with Seamus and Lavender after a day spent in Diagon Alley and muggle London. He didn't blame her really; he himself was confused, like the reason as to why Padma had received a letter and had suddenly run out of the house to be with Terry. He assumed that Parvati was confused about that too but he knew that there was something deeper than just what was on the surface that was troubling her.

"Thanks for coming over today mate," Dean said with a grin, turning to Seamus, "It was a blast."

"Yeah," Seamus said, holding out his hand for Dean to shake, "We should do it again sometime."

"Sometime soon," Lavender said with a smile as she said goodbye to Parvati with a hug.

"Yeah," Dean said absent mindedly as he watched Parvati try to look as genuine as she could with her smile and hide the fact that she was still not really comfortable with people touching her, "Soon."

He kissed Lavender's cheek as Seamus shook Parvati's hand. He was glad that Seamus had enough tact to know that she probably didn't want to be kissed, even if it was purely friendly. With a few last goodbyes, they were gone into the night and Dean found himself wondering if Seamus was going to force Lavender to get onto the Knight Bus to get back to Reading instead of taking Muggle transport.

He flicked his wand at the kettle and water began to boil instantly.

"Tea?" he asked Parvati as she sat down on the couch, exhausted.

"Thanks," she said and Dean could hear something different in her voice. Sometimes he wondered how he knew so much about her. He could see right through her façades and the layers she put up to fool people that she had it all together. Dean knew that Parvati had never been all together. Even in their Hogwarts days Dean had seen it. She was like a coconut; tough on the outside and not much could get through the skin, but on the inside she was a mess and only he and Padma had been able to get through to the mess and try to help clean it up.

The kettle finished boiling and Dean poured the hot water into the two blue cups that he had bought today at Diagon Alley and took them over to the couch, setting one down on the coffee table in front of Parvati.

"What's up?" He asked, leaning back into the soft leather and looking across at Parvati with a smile.

"The sky," Parvati said sarcastically as she stared out of the window at the stars that were slowly starting to appear in the black blanket of sky.

Dean looked up, "Well, technically it's the ceiling," he said in a matter of fact tone. Parvati rolled her eyes.

"Well if you want to get technical. It's Mrs Barton's house," Parvati said.

"Then the ceiling," Dean grinned.

"And then the sky." Parvati finished.

"Three things that are up, is there anything that's down?" Dean asked, trying to pose the question to Parvati in a different light.

"Yeah," she muttered, "Three houses and a Parvati."

"Why?" Dean asked her, his eyebrow raised in question.

Parvati shook her head and looked back out of the window. Dean touched her arm ever so gently, just enough so that she knew he wasn't going to accept his question being ignored.

"You can talk to me, Parvati," Dean said quietly.

"Not about this," she said softly and Dean looked at her quizzically.

"Why not?" he asked, feeling slightly hurt.

"Because you won't understand," she said.

"Well," Dean said, thinking that it was fair enough, "Then help me to."

Parvati sighed again, "I don't know Dean," she said with a hint of sadness in her voice, "Everything is just so upside down for me now. I used to think I had a firm grip on what was happening and who was with who and where I was going with my life but now I don't have a single clue."

"Go on," Dean said when she stopped to look at him.

"It's just that this baby will be here in less than three months and I have nothing planned, nothing for it to wear, nowhere for it to sleep, no clue on how to raise it and Lavender is pregnant too and listening to her go on and on about how she can't wait for the baby to come and how Seamus is going to be such a good father to it and how she's already got a crib and nappies and a list of names picked out and all I can think about is how unenthusiastic I am about this situation and how its wrong not to be excited when there's a baby coming and it didn't help that she kept pestering me about if I fancied you or not and when I relented and told her that I did she didn't even listen to anything that I told her along with it and –"

"What?" Dean asked in complete shock. Parvati clapped her hands to her mouth.

"Dean, I didn't mean- It just slipped out. Oh god," she said, putting her head in her hands in embarrassment.

Dean swallowed slowly. She had just confessed to still fancying him. It was by accident but still. She had just made all of his dreams come true with one bout of rambling. She still fancied him.

Dean laughed and Parvati looked up from her hands, giving him a confused look.

"What?" she asked.

"Why are you embarrassed?" Dean asked, "It's not like I don't feel the same way. You know that Par."

Parvati blushed, "It's just not the time, the place or the situation I pictured telling you in."

Dean smiled, reaching out and taking her hand, "So," he said with a smile.

"So, what?" Parvati asked nervously.

"Do you want to be my girlfriend, again?" Dean asked carefully, his heart pounding just the way it had when he had asked her out for the first time in fifth year.

"Dean, I-" she said, biting her lip, "I do still fancy you, I really do but I don't think I'll be able to commit to a relationship right now, I'm stressed out and confused and everything is changing and dropping out from under my feet and I feel like I'm about to fall at any minute. I don't think I could deal with it right now… I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Dean said, "I get it, you're worried about this baby and its future and your future and I'm going to help you. You know what, first thing in the morning we'll go down to that Muggle bookstore and buy some pregnancy books if it makes you feel more prepared. It's almost time, Parvati and I will be here for you."

Parvati smiled as tears of happiness welled in her eyes, "Every day you remind me of how much I love you," she smiled, "I honestly don't know what I'd do if you weren't here. You saved me from Theodore, you came to the hospital every day, you took me into your home, you held me when I had nightmares, you've looked after me through this whole ordeal and I don't even know if you know how grateful I am to you for that."

"I love you," Dean said simply, "and if there comes a time when you are ready, just know that I'll be waiting for you."

"Thank you," Parvati whispered, a tear spilling down her face, "For understanding."

"Thank you for helping me understand," Dean said, clasping her hand between his and smiling at her. He knew how much she loved him; he could see it in her eyes and he understood what she wanted to do, he understood why she didn't want a relationship with him now. He knew that she would be ready one day and he knew that when that day came, he would be the happiest man alive.

Everything was changing. That she was sure of. Her feelings were changing, her life was changing her body was changing and Parvati was finding it hard to cope. She had never coped well with change, especially unnecessary change and the change that she was undergoing for this baby that she didn't even want in the first place was completely unnecessary.

Then there was Dean. She couldn't keep her mind off him and now that both of them had their feelings out in the open, she felt more vulnerable than ever. She knew that Dean would never hurt her but it didn't stop her from feeling slightly sceptical about a relationship. Her mind wasn't ready for a relationship, but she knew that her body certainly was. She wasn't sure if it was hormones or genuine attraction, but she always felt her stomach flutter whenever he touched her. It was as if the child growing inside her wanted Dean for a father, it was as if it knew that she wanted him to be the father as well.

She propped herself up on her elbow and looked across at Dean who was sleeping soundly on the couch opposite her. She smiled at him, her eyes stinging with tears as she watched him sleep. She wanted to be with him so badly but she knew that she wasn't ready. She was still having troubles getting to sleep and it was as if the baby could sense that because it became increasingly active late at night whenever she was trying to sleep.

She thought of Lavender, and how excited she had been about being pregnant. Parvati wasn't remotely excited but she was glad. She was glad to have a piece of her experience to hang onto other than the scars that marked her body because it made her feel like she was really alive and that she would have to keep living to bring this baby up right, which she was determined to do.

She sighed and readjusted her pillow, hoping to grab some sleep before the morning came. It was then that she noticed a dark shape sitting outside of the window, she was just able to see it through the curtains. Her heartbeat picked up and she immediately started to sweat. What if it was him, what if he had broken out of Azkaban and was waiting for the right moment to strike. She could feel her breath coming in quick gasps as she refused to take her eye off the shape. She reached for her new wand which she had stowed in her pillowcase and readied it. She whispered a spell and the curtains flew open to reveal whatever the shape was.

Parvati instantly felt stupid when she saw that it was just an owl. The fear dropped from her body and her heart started to slow to a normal beat as her breathing returned to normal. Rolling her eyes at her own paranoia, she pulled herself up and over to the window. Once she had opened it, the owl fluttered inside, dropped the letter and immediately soared up to roost on the top of the kitchen cupboards. Parvati recognised it instantly as Padma's owl. Finally, she thought as she ripped open the envelope that the letter was sealed in.

Parvati,

I'm so sorry about the other day and my sudden departure. Terry got into a duel at a pub a few nights ago and had something particularly nasty done to his nether regions which I'd rather not talk about but he's fine now. Yesterday he was in a critical condition because of blood loss and stuff but his family got him moved to St Mungo's so that he could recover quicker. Terry's brother Nathan only told me that Terry was in a 'life threatening condition' which is why I left so quickly but I can be back with you and Dean in a week if you still want me there.

Love, Padma

Parvati rolled her eyes at the letter. That was so typical of Terry to get into a bar fight and have damage done to one of the most precious regions of his body and for his family to blow it all out of proportion. She was glad that Padma had told her though, she had been quite worried since she had just run out of the apartment yesterday. She quickly pulled a bit of parchment of the desk beside her and by the light of the moon, she began to write a response.

Padma,

Glad to hear you're okay and that Terry is too. I've been spending a lot of time with Dean since you've been gone (which is really only a day but anyway) and we met up with Lavender and Seamus earlier today and Lavender and I went and got that foul tasting muggle stuff called Coffee because she was craving it. She made me spill a lot of stuff that I didn't necessarily want to talk about. Like the fact that I still fancy Dean and how I don't want to be in a relationship because I know I'm not ready. I accidentally let it slip to him when I was talking to him about why I was confused and he asked me to be his girlfriend. I said not now but maybe sometime in the future. Do you think I did the right thing? He seems fine with it but I'm not sure, I can't read him like I can read the other boys. He's a padlocked book instead of an open one. It's all okay here; you can stay with Terry as long as you need to. I'm fine.

Love, Parvati.

She folded up the letter and tucked it under the paper weight on the desk. She would send it in the morning when the owl woke up and decided to come down from the ceiling.

A smile on her face, she walked back over to the couch and with one last look at Dean, lay down and fell asleep almost instantaneously, feeling as if the weight of the world had just been lifted from her shoulders.

AN: Short authors note this time because it's midnight and I have to get up at 8:30.

I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and I would love it if you could leave me a review! It doesn't take long :)

DFTBA,
Best Wishes

~The Original Horcrux~