Note: I know, this one should have been posted yesterday, don't worry, you will still have today's update later in the day :)
I'm trying to balance the talks between Matt and Mello and I wanted to rearrange this chapter since it was already dialog heavy, so the alone time between MxM was pushed into next chapter.
I got a guest review that I want to reply to.
Here is the review for reference:
Guest chapter 23 .
So basically... Mello's shitty and nearly abusive behavior is excused because he has asperger?
Not to mention that said behavior so far in the story is most of the time the complete opposite of what you would find in a real asperger (violence? Mood swings? Exuberant personality? Sex driven? Socially competent to the point of being bossy ? How about No?)
My brother is asperger and I honestly feel like you've just insulted him and everyone like him. Thanx
So, dear guest, Mello's behaviour has never been 'excused' but explained, and while what he did was not right (being violent with Lou), it happened because this is a story with human characters, writing it doesn't mean I agree with it. I am depicting events, nothing more.
Now, onto the Asperger issue. Your brother might be an aspie, but what you obviously don't seem to get is that although there are common traits in all aspies, they are also individuals with personalities, likes, dislikes, and there is not one specific pattern.
I wasn't planning on writing this in an A/N because I didn't think it mattered regarding the story, but I have Asperger's syndrome (officially diagnosed), so I am "a little" aware of what it implies. Thinking that Mello is showing a behaviour in total opposition with someone who has AS means that you might only know what you see with your brother, and while I don't doubt what you say, you can't decide that your brother is the perfect and only valid example of an aspie, we're not robots, and you are the one insulting him (and me) by putting him in a mould dictated by supposed behaviours. This is because people who don't have autism put us in square blocks defined by what we're supposed to be as aspies that the whole world sees us as defined beings looking all the same, if not just freaks.
While I can understand that if you have only encountered the type of aspies that tend to avoid social contact and don't do well in teams and stuff like that, it's difficult to imagine that an aspie can be social, but you'd be surprised. I am an aspie but I am extremely social because that is a trait of my personality. Yes, it tires me and I might need days to recover from the sensory overload, and I might avoid certain social events depending on my anxiety level, I deal with my social side with my syndrome coming in the way, but that doesn't mean my personality trait is erased by AS. I have played in bands, performed concerts in front of crowds of thousands, I have led teams, given workshops, and I'm still an aspie.
Us aspies can be bossy too, sex driven as well, open your mind and stop thinking we're not humans first, thank you. Yeah, I'm feeling really insulted by your ignorant comment, and mostly sad for your brother that you have no idea what he really is: HUMAN, with a personality, probably even dreams and competences, don't shut him down with his possibilities because you think he is just his syndrome and driven by specific rules.
But for the violence and the mood swings that you think are not representative either, I'm really surprised. These are so common with aspies that I wonder how you can think it's in opposition with being an aspie. This is probably the one thing you could apply letter to letter to aspies.
Sorry everyone for the public reply, that's why I hate guest reviews when they obviously need to be addressed.
Remember that the focus of the fic is NOT Asperger syndrome, it's just a part of Mello's depth here, but I haven't planned on schooling people about AS with this story, nor do I want to explain what it is in details in the conversations between MxM. You'll get what is necessary to the story, nothing more :)
If you want to know more, it's cool to PM me, or you can read the book I mentioned in the A/N of the previous chapter, just be careful with what you find on internet though, it's really specific patterns that don't give the whole range of what aspies can be.
DAY TEN – 5 contestants / 1 to be eliminated (PART 2)
The main door opened, and five persons came in.
"Fuuuck!" David muttered, "Not her!" he laughed, as his sister waved at him, laughing as well.
"Hi." Charly smiled to a young woman his age.
Joshua was looking really uncomfortable, and Mello, who still had no idea who was coming for whom, was trying to take guesses. Joshua was looking at a man that could be his father, but the latter wasn't smiling, he had a hard look on his face. Mello surprised himself once more as he felt quite uninterested in the possible drama.
"Don't be shy, you can hug your loved ones you know!" Mello said joyfully, curious to know who had come for Matt.
"Mattie!" a blond girl that had entered last launched herself at the redhead's neck, making him blush deep red. Matt instinctively glanced at Mello, who was already scowling at the girl.
As if she was sensing the singer's look on her, she let Matt go and immediately introduced herself.
"Hi! I'm Linda! I'm not exactly family, I'm his best friend, don't worry I'm married and I'm not interested at all in dating that dickhead!"
"Happy to see you too, bitch." Matt chuckled, as Linda pushed his shoulder teasingly, "I still can't believe someone was brave enough to marry you, I will take forever to admit it." Matt stuck his tongue out.
Mello observed the two. It was obvious they were very close, and this Linda seemed to be nice enough.
"Your mum says hello, and don't forget to put a shirt on sometimes, by the way." Linda was all laughters and teasing, and Mello decided he liked her.
"Does she really watch the show?" Matt was not certain he liked the idea.
"She records it, even." Linda replied, "She asked me to bring you sun lotion and to make sure you eat."
"Oh fuck." Matt blushed. It was really embarrassing, and Linda made obviously a duty of saying this out loud in front of Mello.
"Mello, can I introduce you to my mum?" Tribal Tattoo came from behind, lightly touching the musician's arm to catch his attention. The blond reluctantly turned around, but tried to stay nice in front of the woman facing him.
She was probably in her fifties, heavily made up, wearing a skirt suit, hair tied in a bun behind her head. She contrasted with her son and his huge tattoo and fashionable look.
"Hello, young man." she said, holding out her hand.
Mello shook it. The woman obviously counted on her son preserving manners, and making a proper introduction, so he tried to keep the sarcastic comments bubbling in his head for himself. Tribal Tattoo was a jerk, but Mello could respect his mother anyway.
The mummy's little boy gone rebel was painted all over the scene in front of him, but for some reason, the woman seemed to comply with it. She had come here after all.
"We'll have time to talk later, I need to meet the other persons as well."
Mello did his best not to sound impolite and turned around, winking at Matt who was chatting with Linda a little further, before walking to Charly and the young woman that was with him.
"Hi, I'm Cassie." she smiled.
"She's the mother of my little girl." Charly explained.
"Thank you so much for what you've done Mello, we can never thank you enough..." she added, "I couldn't believe it when your lawyer showed up! But are you sure? I mean, that's a lot of mon-"
"What?" the mohawk boy questioned, surprised.
Cassie looked from Charly to Mello: "Oh, did I say something I shouldn't have? I'm sorry, I thought you knew-"
"It's nothing, really." Mello cut her. He wasn't comfortable with thank yous and he hadn't wanted Charly to know before he was gone from the show, precisely to avoid that situation.
"It's not nothing! Charly, Mello gave enough for us to pay for a lifetime stay for Juno in the institute!"
"Holy shit Mello!"
Charly was in tears.
"It's money I didn't need anyway, no big deal." Mello looked down before shifting his attention to someone else, "I'll talk to you later."
David introduced his sister to the singer. They were actually twins, and very close.
Joshua was another problem. Mello hated his dad as soon as they started talking.
"Hello sir." the man was extremely formal, and Mello was already uneasy.
"Hello. You're his father, right?"
"Yes indeed. I wasn't happy to discover about my son's orientation on television. Not at all." The man gave a disapproving look at Joshua.
"Dad!" Joshua protested, but his voice was weaker than one of a little boy caught doing mischief.
"Silence, Joshua, I'm the one doing the talking here." the man went on, unfazed, "I don't approve of his choice, and I came here only because I saw that as the occasion to tell you face to face that I won't be having any of it. My son will not be dating you, I will not allow something like that. I'll let him have his fun until he is out of the show, but after that, he will be back home with his family, and he will forget about all of this and focus on a real relationship."
Mello didn't need the man to explain what he meant by 'a real relationship'. He was amazed that the old fart had had the gut to come here in homoland to state his point of view so proudly. He pitied Joshua, but there wasn't much he could do about his situation.
As he left the two, Mello saw Joshua give him an apologetic look. But Joshua had a steady job for what Mello knew, although being a tattoo artist was probably something that his father didn't approve of either, and he lived in his own flat according to what he had said during a conversation, so the singer didn't worry too much, he wasn't about to land on the streets or anything, should things go wrong with his father. The guy was old enough to take care of himself, and Mello had no business in helping him stand his ground face to his father.
Dismissing the thoughts in his mind, he caught Linda staring at him with a huge grin, and couldn't help smiling back to her as he approached her and Matt again.
"I'm supposed to be the only blonde allowed near him, but I can make an exception for you if you promise me to tell me all of his dirty secrets."
"No way!" Matt intervened, "Don't tell her that, she will make up the craziest stories just to spite me!"
"You're scared because they are all true, Mattie-Matt!" Linda giggled, poking the redhead's cheek with her index.
Mello chuckled. It would certainly be a lot of fun to talk to her, and he couldn't wait for the one on one with Linda later.
"Okay everyone, I have reserved a place dear to my heart for today, shall we be moving?"
Danny opened the door, inviting all the present persons to exit the mansion and climb in the bus parked outside. One by one, they passed the door, Mello standing beside Danny, but just as Matt was about to leave last, Linda preceding him, Mello grabbed his arm, pushed Danny outside, and, hidden behind the door still open, he kissed him feverishly before pushing him out too and follow him to the bus, a wide grin on his face, Linda howling as she saw Matt's red face and swollen lips.
The drive lasted less than half an hour, and soon the bus parked in front of a small venue.
Everyone entered, discovering a scene overlooking an area filled with tables and chairs placed as little separated islands.
"This is where I gave my first concert, when I was a teen, even before Mind Pollution existed." Mello explained, inviting the contestants and their family to sit at the tables. Waiters came soon after to take orders, Mello still standing next to the scene.
"I was supposed to perform a few songs but as you can see, I can't play," Mello raised his bandaged and plastered hands, "So let me introduce you to Tommy, the other guitarist in Mind Pollution."
Said Tommy came in from the side of the scene, waving to the small crowd.
Most applauded, only Joshua's father staying silent and stiff in his seat.
"Hi Tommy." Mello smiled to the musician, who smiled back and winked, sitting on a stool on the scene while Mello took place beside him on another stool, a microphone in hand.
"Please enjoy your drinks, we'll entertain you for a few minutes before I torture your families to make them spit out your shameful secrets." the singer chuckled.
Tommy started playing, and after a short intro on guitar, Mello began singing.
Matt was holding his breath. It wasn't the first time Mello was singing in front of him, he had had a private show already in the pole dance studio, but there was something about the blond when he was singing or playing, just like the day they had played Rocksmith... Matt couldn't explain it, but it was as if it was really Mello's natural way of being. His whole stance changed, his facial expressions, he looked as if he was in the best place he could possibly be.
Music was certainly everything to Mello, it just showed so obviously.
After a few songs, Mello gestured to Tommy to sit next to Danny, who was alone at a table. The loudspeakers took over so the place didn't stay silent.
Each family had their own table, making it easier for Mello to go from one to the other and chat with everyone with a little privacy.
He didn't care much for the others so he decided to start with Matt and Linda, and spend as much time as he could with them before moving on to the others. It didn't matter if he lacked time for others anyway.
Sitting with the two, he decided to have some fun.
"So Linda, tell me, is Matt wife material?"
Matt opened wide eyes.
"Just kidding, don't look so horrified Mattie-Matt." Mello teased the redhead as Linda exploded in laughters.
"If you like a lazy gamer who not only plays for a living, but for a hobby as well, he's your man."
"I almost regret that it wasn't my mum coming today." Matt sighed, half joking, "And anyway, I lost my job so who knows what I'll be doing next, I might as well get bored in an office job. Or I could strip, seems I have some skills." he chuckled.
"Well then, I'm booking you for the next years if you decide to take on the stripper path." Mello smirked.
Linda was looking from the singer to her friend with a grin on her face.
"Something tells me that you will ask for extras..." she elbowed Mello, who laughed, giving a predatory look at Matt.
"Anyway, you don't really have to worry for your future." he said.
"What do you mean?" Matt asked, surprised.
"I mean that you don't have to worry about job searching since I'm making enough to provide for the both of us, if playing games is what you want to do, just do that, don't worry about the rest."
"Oh wow." was all Linda could say, as she looked at Mello dumbfoundedly. Matt couldn't even utter a word.
"Don't look at me like that, didn't you expect it?" the singer asked, not understanding why the both were surprised.
"Well... huh... no! You don't have to sustain me... I mean, I don't want you to." Matt knew it sounded rude but he didn't know how to express it otherwise.
But Mello didn't seem to mind. He simply smiled: "Well, you're probably one of the rare persons that doesn't want my money."
"So you're serious about it all?" Linda asked Mello.
"Of course I am, unless there's something you have to say about him that will make me change my mind." the blond crossed his arms on the table, bending a little toward the two with a smirk.
"To be honest, I'm more concerned about you Mello." the girl was suddenly serious, "I know that we only see on TV what they want to show us, but from what I saw, you're... sorry, but you're not exactly always a nice guy."
"You're right Linda, they only show you what they want you to see." Matt intervened, shocking Linda. She hadn't expected Matt to stand for Mello, "Don't worry so much, you know I'd have left already if I had doubts or if he had treated me badly."
"I just don't want you to get hurt."
"I know, and I appreciate your concern, but you don't have anything to worry about, I'm a big boy now." Matt chuckled, trying to lighten the mood that had become extremely heavy.
"Big? Don't make me laugh Shortie!" Linda exclaimed, laughing.
Mello and Matt laughed as well.
"Matt, I'm sure you need a smoke." Mello said to the redhead, "But you can't smoke inside unfortunately." he winked.
"That's the least subtle attempt at sending me away that I've ever seen." Matt snickered, leaving the room.
Mello watched him walk away before focusing back on Linda.
"I'll be straightforward, there's something I need to know about Matt. I know he was in an abusive relationship, and I know he kind of got over it, but is there something he is really scared of, something I should never ever do? I really don't want to fuck this up..."
"You do really like him!" Linda whispered, happy. She had wondered briefly if Mello had been joking or not until now, not sure if Matt and him were playing a game or if there was really something going on between the two.
"Yeah... but I tend to fuck things up and... fuck, I really don't want to fuck up."
"That's a lot of fucks." Linda teased the singer, who laughed softly, "Listen, it's okay if you make mistakes, he won't run away like that, just respect him, don't push him to do things he doesn't want to, don't lie, he's really easy going so even if you get something wrong, he'll forgive you."
"Okay." Mello smiled to the blond girl.
"I can see that you want it to work out, and I'm happy about it because he deserves it, but don't worry too much." Linda added, "I thought you'd be a lot more confident with yourself to be honest, you're really different from what I imagined, not that it's a bad thing."
Mello knew what image he gave of himself to the public, he didn't mind, he did it on purpose. People took advantage of him enough that he didn't want to appear as a softie that everyone could suck to the marrow. And it was fun being a dick.
He was about to ask some more questions when Danny came to inform him that the production was asking for Mello to spend time with the others. Mello complied reluctantly, not only because he didn't care, but because whereas Cassie and David's sister seemed nice enough, he didn't really want to talk to Joshua's father and Mrs Stick-in-the-ass.
The talk with David and his sister was over quickly, both were more chatting together than making conversation with the singer anyway, so Mello took that as a cue to move on to the next table, to Cassie and Charly.
"Excuse the question but... what are you for each other?" the musician asked. Cassie and Charly had a kid together so he assumed that the mohawk guy was at least bisexual, but they didn't seem to be together anymore, well, Charly was supposed to come into the show being single at least, so Mello was a bit confused.
"We had drunk sex, and I got pregnant." Cassie began.
Mello looked at her puzzled, so Charly explained more: "I'm gay one hundred per cent, I get your confusion," he laughed, "We were at a party and everyone was shitfaced and Cassie and me had sex for a reason that I will never ever fathom, and she got pregnant."
"He didn't expect me to keep the baby though, but I don't know, it just sounded right at the time, still does." Cassie smiled, "We're not drunkyards, if that's what you're wondering."
"I wasn't judging you." Mello said softly.
"We were young and liked to party, but since the baby was born, we had a pretty quiet life, each on his own."
"So Charly, you actually took on your father role even though you two weren't together?"
"I didn't want the baby at first, even more so that we weren't together, but... look."
Charly stirred a picture out of his wallet and handed it out to Mello, who took it and looked at it.
He smiled. A baby girl was playing with her father's mohawk on this picture, and it was obvious by the look in Charly's eyes that he loved his daughter to death.
Mello handed the picture back.
"Reminds me of Danny's daughter, you think you hate kids and here they come stealing your heart." he chuckled.
"Anyway, thank you again for her, it means a lot to us and Charly and me were talking about it, obviously we can't afford to refuse your money, but that's a lot, seriously, are you sure it is okay?" Cassie said, still very moved by Mello's offer.
"I have more money than I could ever spend by myself so really, don't worry about that, it's barely pocket money for me."
With a smile, he left the table and, sighing, sat with Tribal Tattoo and his mother.
The both were silent at first, but seeing as Mello didn't say a word – hell, he didn't even know what to say under the inquisitive gaze of the woman – Tribal Tattoo finally opened his mouth.
"So mum... this is Mello."
"Well, obviously sweetheart."
The nickname sounded extremely weird to Mello coming from this cold woman, it felt out of place.
"I'm sorry," Mello said, wanting this over as soon as possible, "I have no questions so just go ahead if you have something to say."
"Well that is a bit rude young man," Tribal Tattoo's mother made Mello cringe slightly, "But I do have a question: what are your intentions toward my son?"
"My intentions? I don't have any." the singer told the truth, no need to beat around the bush, he wasn't interested in the least in the guy although his mother seemed to assume he was.
"I know this is a show, and that there will be only one winner, I don't watch it but I am aware that you will have to marry one of your contestants in the end, but I will tell you right now that I only allowed my son to come here because you seem to be wealthy enough for him. I came to terms with his lifestyle choices, but I won't allow him to settle for someone of lesser patrimony than our family and-"
"Oh wow, stop right here. I'm not marrying anyone at the end of the show, and certainly not your son, I have no interest in him so rest assured that he'll be back to you in the same state as he came here."
That was a big one. Mello was astonished by the woman's speech. Straight out of Middle Age.
Standing up, he walked to the last table, pretty sure that the homophobe could make it even worse.
Mello barely stayed half a minute before leaving Joshua and his father's table. Half a minute and he got insulted at least twice in the same sentence, that was more than he could take before blowing up and he would do his best not to because Danny was looking at him from the other side of the room and already frowning at him, as if he was sensing Mello's wrath bubbling inside of him.
He headed for the toilets, wanting to be alone for a few seconds, breathing slowly to calm down. What a jerk! Joshua's father was a retarded bigot, and Mello really didn't understand why he had come all the way here, if it wasn't to insult him. Not that it touched him, he was impermeable to insults, but the fact that the guy was coming on his territory like he owned the whole place, hell, the whole world, really made him blow a fuse.
"Whatever he said, you're not it."
Arms snaked around his waist, and Mello turned around, his butt against the sink, finding himself face to face with Matt. His anger died down almost instantly.
Resting his arms on the redhead's shoulders, he dove for a kiss.
"I wish I could just send everyone home and keep you and get it over with this show." Mello sighed.
"You signed for it." Matt pecked his lips.
"Thank you, Captain Obvious." the singer chuckled.
"How do you feel?" the redhead asked, remembering what he had read in the book about Asperger's syndrome.
"Better. He's just a cunt, but he'll be gone soon."
"Good."
To be honest, since Matt knew about Mello's autism, he had promised himself to make sure he would not go through a crisis like the other day again. He also knew that he wouldn't be able to avoid it sometimes, but at least he could try to make things better.
Someone knocked at the main door of the toilets.
"Let's go." Matt smiled, pulling Mello behind him by the wrist gently. They shouldn't be gone too long anyway or that would go noticed.
On the other side of the door, Tommy was waiting with a big smile.
"Well, that was quick!" he teased his band mate.
"Which should tell you that nothing happened." Mello winked at him, making Tommy chuckle.
Matt became beet red, making them laugh even more.
Mello and his guitarist gave another short acoustic concert before the global even came to an end.
"Okay everyone, that was nice seeing you all," Mello lied after the last song ended, "I'm gonna say goodbye to the families and friends now, wishing you a safe trip back home, and my contestants and I will be heading to the mansion for elimination time. Thank you everyone for coming today."
He hopped off the scene, and followed the contestants in the bus with Danny while Tommy left in a taxi. The families and friends were driven to their hotel in a small van.
Unsurprisingly, Tribal Tattoo was the one to go that evening. Mello had hesitated between him and Joshua, and decided that he would get rid of the annoying contestant since Joshua was a lot less annoying and wasn't responsible for his father's views. He still hated Joshua for being attracted to Matt but he also knew there was no risk that Matt would change his mind about.
