Title: Journey of the Broken Ideals
Summary: Time changes everything, it robs us of the choice to stay who we are. But just like how time can change who we are, it can also help us to grow, even gain something in return. For Hera, it was more than her marriage, more than her love. It was about discovering who she is, who she used to be and the ideals she had lost along her marriage. New Version of Sincerely Untrue
A/N: I know, it has been a long time since I have updated. Last year, I had written so much and it was so much fun writing it, but then, suddenly, my computer broke down, whilst I was in the middle of making the last finishings. No need to say how frustrated I was, because I was really happy with everything and yeah, that was how long it had taken me rebuild my motivation.
But still, I still received some reviews and also, reading the old ones always kept reminding me to continue writing! So, thank you for all the reviews, from the old version, as well as this new one.
I hope you liked this chapter, there were some things I have had to rearrange, so everything would fit together and luckily, this also means the next future chapters, at least the two future ones, are already in planning and writing and quasi finished. So I hope this time, it won't take too long to finish them.
Thanks everyone and I hope you enjoy it.
Don't forget to tell me what you think.
Chapter 4:
"Iris, where do you think you are going?"
She stopped in the midst of her flight.
Iris turned around and saw a white glowing orb flying towards her.
"Hermes?! What are you doing here?"
Having discarded her body for the favour of fast transportation towards the Olympus, she, just like Hermes, was a mere ball of white glowing light.
"It should be me asking you that! Had Paeon not ordered you to rest?!" Hermes questioned her.
It merely earned him a frustrated sign from the former goddess of messengers. She already anticipated the long talk that was going to be ahead of her and thus, she turned around a chose a cloud to land on. Hermes followed her and watched, as she, with landed on the cloud with her graceful feets. In return, he obtained his normal appearance of a human body.
"I will just ask you once: Are you following me?"
Her rainbow coloured eyes shot dagger at him, warning him not to lie to her. Oh, but how would he. He was not capable of doing this, after all, she already knew the truth.
"Why would you think that?"
"Why? Oh, I do not know, perhaps since this channel is only used by me and only me!? As the Messenger of the Gods you have access to every channel within our realm, which enables you to travel to each place as you like to and in the fastest way as it is possible."
She knew, after all, it had been once her, who had been the one, who was granted the privilege, until a cheeky know-it-all of a brat came along.
"What? Are you still pissed about what had happened" he teased her. Her wrath grew by the sight of his arrogant smirk.
How dare he?!
"Answer my question..." she almost growled at him.
"Only if you tell me what you were planning to do," he crossed his arms over his chest, watching her and inspecting her appearance. Her hair was dishevelled, despite the sun shining down on her slightly tanned skin, she still lacked of her natural glow that usually followed her whenever he caught a glimpse of her and her beautiful rainbow eyes wore a tired look that was not supposed to be there. "You know very well that Paeon told you to rest. The stress and the worry you put your body under is not healthy, even for immortals like us."
"How did you know?" she eyes him suspiciously, doubting that her husband told him what the physician of Gods had diagnosed for her.
"Doesn't matter," he shrugged.
"It is if you are abusing your status and power to obtain information that are not yours to obtain!"
"Pft," he scoffed. "And who do you think would punish me for that? You?"
His eye glistened mischievously and Iris felt herself go cold as she saw how his eyes darkened whilst looking at her.
"No one," she replied hesitantly, suspicion called forth her instinct to rest the case, instead of going down with him. "No one will punish you and that is the reason why I have to go."
Without waiting for his reply, after all, she could care less what the brat had to tell her, Iris, yet again, discarded her human body form and transformed into an orb of rainbow light and sped away.
"Iris!" Hermes cursed and flew after her.
However, this time, knowing that he was hot on her trails, she sped with as much energy as she would normally use when she saw her life in danger. She had kept running from him a long time ago and long enough to know that he would never be able to catch her up.
Hermes cursed at her for flying away from him. He hated that she was always one step ahead of him, always just one step away from him. But looking back, he knew, she had a reason.
He doubted that she would ever stop running.
"At least tell me the purpose why you are here," he ordered her.
Hermes gripped her wrist and prevented her from her continuous walk and putting a stop to her ignorance towards his presence. He gritted his teeth and yanked at her wrist so that she was forced to turn around and face him.
"This does not concern you, Hermes" she told him with a warning in her tone. "Now let me go!"
He wanted to shout at her, he wanted to grasp her other wrist so that she would by fully facing him or both of her shoulders, in order for him to shake her and shake her thoroughly, so she would wake up from her deep and probably disillusion slumber.
He wanted to shout at her.
He also wanted her to know that whatever she did, whatever concerned her, concerned him, as much as he disliked it. Because that is what it was about, he had no choice in that matter.
He had lost that some time ago, he never had one when it came to her.
But above all, all he wanted was to-
"Iris? Is that you?"
"Athena!"
As quick as the former messenger was, Iris took notice of Hermes momentary distraction and yanked her wrist away from him and just as quick as it had happened, she almost threw herself into Athena's arms.
"I am glad to see you," Athena proclaimed and caught the Goddess of Rainbow at her elbow. "Tell me, have you seen Hera?"
Iris shook her head dejectedly.
"That was the reason why I am here. I am in search for Hestia, perhaps she might know of where the Lady Hera is."
"Is she not at home?" Athena asked with furrowed brow. It is rather unlikely that the Goddess of Hearth and Home was... well, not at home.
"No, you should know that this was the first place I had searched in for her, but she was not. The flames told me that she had left for a long time already, and that it was unknown for how long she will be gone..."
Both of them wore a distraught grimace.
Athena let go of Iris, instead she began to pace back and forth.
"This is bad," she announced, never stopping once. "If Hestia went away missing as well, then there would be an even bigger ruckus, especially..."
Since both regents went either missing or refuse to get back, Hestia had been the obvious choice to reign in the chaos that was supposed to follow. After all, she was the eldest sister and incited no ill feelings amidst the other Gods that they would try to challenge her. At least less than other candidates, since there would be ones that would surely take advantage of the unknown circumstances right now and change the balance and status of power in their favour.
"What was she thinking...?"
Hestia was usually such a reasonable and logical person, as seen in her actions and she would never do anything reckless and unnecessary. Athena also knew that she would do anything to maintain peace and serenity and by disappearing, without any traces, she was doing the opposite.
"We have to retrieve either of them. Father is not answering any calls and no one had been able to trace him. He had left the residence of his mistress for some while already."
She threw a disapproving glare at Hermes, it should have been his job to report this to her, however like every God lately, he seemed to have developed a rather unfavourable habit of disappearing when he was needed the most.
"You got your information, anyway, right?" he laughed uncomfortable and looked away. Athena was a rather intimidating person, one which he would rather not enrage whenever possible, especially knowing that although Ares was known for his brutality, Hermes knew there were other and far more effective ways to torture someone. Someone with her wit and intelligence surely was aware of that and when she was truly angered, he did not doubt for one moment that she would use it to her advantage...
Athena put her hands on each temple, trying to concentrate on her next move. She knew she had to do something. Fast.
No one should know of Hestia's unknown state of being, since everyone already expected her to step up as a transition, for the time of being. It was an accepted fact, but now...
She already had enough things to deal with, the uneasy atmosphere, the immortals asking her questions and questions. She had her own city and people to care for as well.
"You need to do me a favour."
"Does it still hurt?"
Hera felt the soothing cold touch slowly caressing her skin. She barely winced.
"Of course not," she chuckled sarcastically.
"Are you making fun of me?" her light voice called her out.
"What? Me? Oh dear sister, I would never dare to." Just as she anticipated, she slightly changed her angle in order elude the seatangs that were aimed at her.
Throwing her sister a satisfied smirk, she closed her eyes and threw her head back, taking in the warm glows of the sun and
"I should apologize for teasing you, however, it was just so tempting. After all, you out of everyone should know the best," Hera smiled sadly. "It will always hurt, it is the kind of pain that will never stop hurting."
Both of them suddenly turned silent, gone was their laughter and lightness, the small moments that allowed them to pretend to be silly girls in their teens with nothing to worry about other than how to make most of their day. It had been long gone.
"When will you leave?"
"Soon," Hera responded.
"Today?"
"Yes."
Amphititre chuckled.
She had wondered whether she was the first person Hera came to, since the incident. She had heard of it already, when she saw her.
"Of course." She shook her head. "Will you be fine?"
She remembered. She remembered everything and then, there she was standing, opening up and offering her hands to her. They had been alone, with no one to watch them, just the two of them and Amphtitre, gladly abandoning everything she had become when she became Queen in the kingdom of her parent's usurper, ran straight into them.
"I guess."
"Where will you go?"
Hera looked at her sister and smiled sadly.
"That I cannot tell you."
"Of course."
That was all that Amphititre replied, averting her eyes sadly, her gaze now back upon the grand ocean.
"Hera?" Amphititre asked with uncertain voice.
"Hmm..."
"Do you miss it?"
"What?"
Yeah, she wondered that as well.
She had asked that question without knowing it herself either. It felt... it was the question that was spoken from her heart.
Amphititre looked back to the ocean.
For the first time for centuries, or at least what had felt like centuries for her, she felt like the little girl again that dove with the dolphins, danced along with the waves and worshipped the young goddess that was her heartfelt sister, never knowing that she would soon be worshipped by the whole country, higher than any other goddess would dare to climb.
And just as insecure as she had always been in her presence, she took in the presence of her sister. Never minding that she was in the exact same position as her, that she was older, having gained her own experiences and in some ways, was at eye-level with her.
"Do you miss what we have had?"
She looked back to the older Queen Goddess.
Truly, with her now laid down hair, played by the gush of the wind and the solitude that had become her second skin, she was ethereally beautiful ... and just as distant.
This must the way that human envisioned mermaid, lost and lonely, abandoned by their lovers and forsaken by the Fates and fully aware of the fate that was theirs.
And just like her, Hera's eyes were glued to the watery scene before her.
This was it.
This was the place that they had born or grew up in, a place, wide and full of the possibilities that were just as grand. Raised with the belief that there were no limits to what they can do in their world. Because there were none.
No, they were young, with their lives as untainted and innocent as the ocean had been before human hand had arrived.
Oh how she remembered her life, the life of used to be, how she yearned for those innocent days, when everything was easier, when everything out of reach was brought down to you by someone else and you always had a bigger bed to crawl into, and when breathing underwater was easier than sufficing in the sky.
"I could never miss something that I still have."
Amphititre smiled, assurance filled her heart, the hope and the fear that had battled her heart since they left their home for a marriage neither had initiated - unlike what they had promised each other in their childhood nights - and continued to grow with every ball, every festival and every meeting they had held and seen each other and shared no words other than the polite talks in between that was expected due to their roles as respective Queens.
"You know that I love you, right?" Amphititre asked unsure.
She had always been sure of her love for her sister, but as of right now she wondered whether her sister was sure about that...
The longer she took to give her an answer, the more images of past chances flew across her ocean-blue eyes that made her aware of the regrets she ad not felt before.
"Of course I do."
Hera had spoken with a simplicity and easiness that made Amphititre choke.
It almost felt like a big stone that had fallen from her heart and suddenly, she felt so free, lighter than she had been earlier before she had asked that one question.
"You are being silly, Phi," Hera then added.
She turned towards the goddess, with whom she had grown up with, offering her a small, sad smile.
They had grown alongside each other, enjoying and sharing pieces and most joyous memories of their childhood together, yet, somewhere along, the oceanic goddess had grown into a woman and Hera had missed that.
She stretched out her hand and caressed the silvery blonde hair that she possessed when she was on the surface.
"So silly..." she muttered, before pulling the goddess that had become the Queen of the Sea into her arms. "I love you, too."
Amphititre nodded enthusiastically, assuring her with her actions, as words were not able to come pass by her lips. She did not trust herself to open her mouth, as she feared she would start to break down, if she would hear her voice speak up. She returned the hug, hanging on to Hera with her arms like on an anchor.
"You are still that silly little girl," Hera chuckled.
A short giggle escaped Amphititre. Yes, she had to agree on that.
When it came to Hera, she was perhaps still unchanged.
"You are leaving, are you not?"
"I cannot be bound at one place too long, since..."
Amphititre and Hera were awaiting the finishing sound of the sentence that came to neither of them, yet both were aware.
"Well," Amphititre chuckled to cover up the darkness illuminated on the sea's surface. "You never could stay still and you always hated being chained to one thing. It is a miracle you have done it for so long."
The breeze became stronger, turning into a strong gush that stroked across the waves and causing it to splatter around, just like the hair was caught in a whirlwind.
"Hera, I-"
The Goddess Mother she knew as her sister turned towards her, telling her with the strong and intense look in her eyes to not finish the sentence.
"No, you are right. You just stated the fact that has been kept in your thoughts for so long," she sighed. "How about that, if I am certain, I will give you a definite answer."
"Okay..." Amphititre replied in resigned defeat, knowing she shall let the matter drop.
Inwardly, she cursed herself for stupid mishap.
"Maybe now is the best time for me to depart..."
"But why?"
"It seems to me that your husband will return soon..." Hera wondered, stretching her arm out. "He is rather distant, but... I can feel it. I guess the first thing he wants to see will be you, his wife, is that not true?"
Or his mistress?
"How about we make up a rule to never talk about our husbands?" Amphititre grumbled in annoyance, for a solitary moment having forgotten her long lost sister's announcement of departure.
Said person's mirth and golden laughter replaced the harsh crashes of the waves.
"What are you laughing about?"
"Oh sweet sister, you and I both know," her eyes were gentle and maybe they need to be, when she looked at her, before she whispered those harsh words next. "such naive actions are something we cannot allow ourselves. We have long grown past them, the time that is like sand, so much and in such quantity, once we shall fall and never pick it again, you understand what I am saying?"
Once they fell, there is no turning back.
Once it was lost, even if they try to find it, it may never be the same again, for it had passed.
Amphititre looked at the woman, who grew up as her sister and was now and forever known as the Goddess Mother, reigning - although depending - Queen.
"I see..."
Hera smiled, still so gently at her.
"I meant what I have said," she held a hand out to her, cupping her cheek, stroking and caressing the salty wet cheek. "I still love you... you are my sister."
"You were always mine, too."
Hera smiled sadly down at her.
"He is approaching," Hera had said suddenly and then, after a knowing glance shared with her sister, she vanished.
All indication that was left of her ever having been there were the swirling wind and water-drops in the air, a faint scent of her warm magic that reminded her of home when she took it in.
Slowly, Amphititre stood up, dusting herself from the remnants of the small rock that would at some day turn into an isle, and without a second glance on her unreadable face, she dived into the pool that was her kingdom.
"What do you want, Poseidon?" Amphititre asked, her voice demanding and full of self-assurance, as would be expected from the Goddess Queen of the Seas.
Oh how different she was.
This was not the girl that Hera had grown up with, not the girl she had lost to the ocean when they were younger, the girl she had left behind in the name of Zeus nor the girl she had lost to his brother, their brother, the moment he had gazed her and taken her the option in choosing the life she had promised herself when they were young.
No, this was the girl that Poseidon had rendered her into.
This was the woman that he had created.
The Queen of the Sea, unwavering, cold and cruel, like the sea herself.
"I would like to know what my dearest wife is doing out, rather than resting in bed, where her ill condition, which she had told me of, would best be cured."
"I felt like taking a walk. Do you have a problem with that, my dear?"
"You should take better care of yourself, Amphititre," her husband scolded her, this time perhaps a little placidly, but not enough for her blue clouded eyes to see.
"Do not treat me like a child, Poseidon. I can do whatever I want and no, I would like to be left alone."
"Why are you always so stubborn." He shook his head.
"Do me a favour and stop complaining just because you are not getting what you want. Talking about that, you better take care of your mistress. I think she was trying to reach you. Anyway, I would rather not do it myself, as this problem was caused by you and neither can I help you, since I have long lost the overview of your harem," she spoke in a matter of fact voice.
"Amphititre, for Heaven's sake!"
"What?" she retorted stubbornly. "I am merely speaking the truth. Will you take this right from me as well?"
The way her voice was laced with resentment let him knew what she said was not what she had wanted to mean. He also knew the true meaning of those words, what she wanted to say.
He knew and she knew.
"I do not want to argue with you," he spoke with a sigh. "Listen, dear, I had come back from an exhausting field day on Mt. Olympus, which I guess you had already guessed and now, I am back and all I want to do is to relax, spend a wonderful day, in the arms of my wife and just enjoying a beautiful time together, peacefully. So here I am."
Amphititre had listened to him.
She had watched him open his arms wide up.
She saw the gesture that was solely intended for her, to go back into his arms.
As Poseidon saw that she made no sign of moving from her spot, he approached her and finally engulfing her in his arms tightly.
"I have missed you," he whispered.
He had his face buried in her hair, inhaling her scent that reminded him of the ocean's breeze and home with closed eyes and letting himself take comfort in the lovely familiarity that was his wife.
She was not returning his hug, nor was she reacting to his touch. She was standing unmoved, letting him wrap his arms around her and just... be.
He was torn on how to feel about this.
On one hand, he guessed, he should be glad. He should consider himself lucky that she was not pushing him away and that he was able to hold her for once.
Yet, as glad and grateful and pathetic it was, he knew, this small spark of satisfaction and pretence of a picture perfect marriage, was merely derived from her repulsion towards him. If she would push him away and that was not a possibility, as the thought of touching him willfully disgusted her more than letting him touch her, even if it meant to endure something... it.
For her, letting him touch her, no matter how much she protested inwardly, was the lesser evil.
Knowing this, he tightened his arms around, enjoying the feel of her in his arms.
She was so small, so fragile and he was so scarred of breaking her.
"I have missed you so much," he continued to whisper in her ear. "I was thinking about you the whole time. Amphititre..."
"Stop it," she whispered.
"What?"
"I told you, stop it!" she hissed. "Stop trying to feed me with your lies. I am not a child."
"I was not lying to you," he defended himself with a resigned sigh.
"Whatever this is to you, just stop it. Do you believe this is a game? Is this funny to you?" she asked. "Perhaps you can fool your mistresses with these lies, actually, I would prefer that you feed these lies to them rather than me. You have several of them, you do not need me. There is no reason for you to have missed me, especially with so many of them waiting around for you."
"But it was you. Only-"
"Just stop!" she shook her head. "I am not like your mistresses, so stop treating me like I was one of them."
She did not need to be fed with lies.
"I never thought of you in that manner, Amphititre. You are my wife," he said, looking into her indifferent, yet so magnificent green eyes.
Neither the look in his eyes nor the words reached her. They never did.
"But you still believe I am stupid enough to fall for your pretty little words," she whispered, however, her words did reach him. Poseidon closed his eyes. "I do not even know why you bother. It is not like it would change anything."
"I know. I know..."
"However... I have deserved more than that. So just stop."
She turned her back towards him, his arms had long fallen down. So since she was no longer trapped in his arms, she was free to go. A chance she took.
"I know," he whispered quietly, long after she had gone and the sound of the closing doors had long disappeared into the nothingness.
Gently, she shut the door close. Her hand lingered for a while on the knob, until she let go of it, along with all the composure and burning cold resentment.
She leaned against the door, slowly sliding down until she hit the rock bottom.
"What am I doing?" she asked herself, her question falling deep into the forgotten water.
A/N: I really appreciate the possibility of writing a new version and I personally can imagine that it sucks, because everything is starting again and some say, oh I liked what had happened before or people in general, who dislike changes... I can really relate, because I know it just too tell *cough* DC's New 52 *cough*
But it is not always that bad, because and here I am giving an example why I actually think it was a good choice. I consider the previous version more like a draft, with which I developed everything along, but the more it evolved, the wider the distance to the beginning and end was and there were just too many disparities to ignore, it's like watching the first epilogue of a new series like from CW and comparing it with the ending. In this one, I can add Amphititre all along. She is without question someone important for Hera, their similar situation being one of many reasons and it would just not make sense adding her so late in the story as it was in Sincerely Untrue. There can be explanations given, but... it would not add up for me.
Also, by adding her early into it, it would secure her situation, her character and her importance in the development of the story and I personally would love to go deeper into her relationship with Poseidon, it just has so many potentials for me. For me at least, as you can see by the evidence.
not sure if it was necessary to write this down, but I just would have loved to explain my situation and also give you an idea where I am standing concerning the whole plot. I also hope that most of you agree with me, if not, feel free to tell me why and also tell me what you think about giving the focus on Amphititre and Poseidon.